This is Day 7 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 7 of 21DJC! :)Yesterday’s question was: “What Frustrates You?“.Thank *you* for your earnest responses. While it’s good to be positive, and to focus on the positive stuff, the thing is frustration is one in the spectrum of emotions we experience as humans. Everyone feels frustrated in some way or another – it’s just a matter of (a) whether you’re aware of it (b) whether you want to admit it or not.Some people may think: “Oh well, I’m never frustrated”, or “I’ve overcome frustration because I choose not to focus on negative things, only positive stuff”. Fair enough, but my question, and my challenge to you would be: Is it true that you’re never frustrated, or are you just not conscious of it? And for those people who still insist you’re never frustrated, are you perhaps denying your emotions, and deluding yourself?While the *feeling* of frustration is not a positive experience, it’s not a negative phenomenon per se. All emotions, as with all situations in life, are neutral occurrences. To give it any meaning beyond what it is, would be to turn it into something that it’s not.Like all of you, I have my fair share of times when I feel frustrated. Just yesterday, I was quite frustrated with the moderator of a conference I was speaking at, because for some reason, the outline that was agreed upon before the panel was not adhered to. I was frustrated because I had prepared a fair bit for the conference, and I felt half of the work had gone to waste, never to be absorbed by others. I was frustrated because it didn’t allow me to showcase my best value to the audience, who were there to learn about the topic.I would also be frustrated whenever people got in my way of growing, or helping others to grow. Because this is my life purpose, it felt like everything was at stake when I wasn’t allowed to pursue it. I would feel scrunched up on the inside, like my existence has been compromised.Other things that would frustrate me include people who impose their values on others, people who give their opinions and advice when not asked for, irresponsible people, people who make empty promises, when I sabotage my own weight loss efforts, naysayers, people who try to attack my beliefs, among others.I don’t think we should concern ourselves with eliminating frustration as an emotion. Neither should we let the feeling of frustration perpetuate too. Frustration happens as a result of things not going our way, so it’s a useful tool in self-discovery and growth.I think whenever we feel frustrated, we should strive to understand the source of our frustrations, learn from the situation, and apply what we learned, so the same situation will not recur in the future. This is what it means to learn and grow.With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 7 of 21DJC! :)Yesterday’s question was: “What Frustrates You?“.Thank *you* for your earnest responses. While it’s good to be positive, and to focus on the positive stuff, the thing is frustration is one in the spectrum of emotions we experience as humans. Everyone feels frustrated in some way or another – it’s just a matter of (a) whether you’re aware of it (b) whether you want to admit it or not.Some people may think: “Oh well, I’m never frustrated”, or “I’ve overcome frustration because I choose not to focus on negative things, only positive stuff”. Fair enough, but my question, and my challenge to you would be: Is it true that you’re never frustrated, or are you just not conscious of it? And for those people who still insist you’re never frustrated, are you perhaps denying your emotions, and deluding yourself?While the *feeling* of frustration is not a positive experience, it’s not a negative phenomenon per se. All emotions, as with all situations in life, are neutral occurrences. To give it any meaning beyond what it is, would be to turn it into something that it’s not.Like all of you, I have my fair share of times when I feel frustrated. Just yesterday, I was quite frustrated with the moderator of a conference I was speaking at, because for some reason, the outline that was agreed upon before the panel was not adhered to. I was frustrated because I had prepared a fair bit for the conference, and I felt half of the work had gone to waste, never to be absorbed by others. I was frustrated because it didn’t allow me to showcase my best value to the audience, who were there to learn about the topic.I would also be frustrated whenever people got in my way of growing, or helping others to grow. Because this is my life purpose, it felt like everything was at stake when I wasn’t allowed to pursue it. I would feel scrunched up on the inside, like my existence has been compromised.Other things that would frustrate me include people who impose their values on others, people who give their opinions and advice when not asked for, irresponsible people, people who make empty promises, when I sabotage my own weight loss efforts, naysayers, people who try to attack my beliefs, among others.I don’t think we should concern ourselves with eliminating frustration as an emotion. Neither should we let the feeling of frustration perpetuate too. Frustration happens as a result of things not going our way, so it’s a useful tool in self-discovery and growth.I think whenever we feel frustrated, we should strive to understand the source of our frustrations, learn from the situation, and apply what we learned, so the same situation will not recur in the future. This is what it means to learn and grow.With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!21DJC Day 7
Today is Day 7, which marks the end of the 1st week out of the 3 weeks of our 21-Day Journaling Challenge. Having shared the things that frustrate us yesterday, today, I’d like you to reflect on:What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
Look forward to reading your answers! :D
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Man lying on the field))
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Faith…It’s just a little seed you hold in your heart, no matter what.
Love, understands and sees all pain, reaches out and holds brings joy.
Confidence. You radiate what you think you are. And when you feel you are beautiful or good, you light up and spread joy to others. Know yourself, both good and bad.
There are so many things.
Wisdom…Meaning, the precious Chaorite of Siberia or Larimar of Bahama. Meaning is a treasure hidden and waiting to be discovered.
1. Learning from what I have experienced and using it as knowledge for my life. This can be in simple everyday experiences for example – meeting people and they say one word which I reflect on and ponder until it makes sense to me. I adjust it and fit it into my life.
It might be something a thought that has suddenly appeared during the day, I note it and take time to reflect and use the idea and knowledge to improve my life.
We all shape my world with our thoughts. As Ralph Waldo Emerson says
“Life lies behind us as the quarry from whence we get tiles and copestones for the masonry of to-day.”
2. Gratitude – being grateful for all the experiences and possessions I have. Appreciating the value this brings to my life and learning to do it often.
Thank you Celes, another great question.
Still inspired…
3a. Fulfilling oneself – gain happiness or satisfaction by fully developing one’s abilities or character.
b. Fulfilling others – helping others to develop their character in the best possible way.
“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
This one is too confronting. Life’s lessons have been bitter for me the past few years. I honestly can’t say anything that is not negative so will give it a miss
Denise,
I applaud your thoughtful good manners.
My mother always said, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
I have been through some pretty rough spots in life too, and when you are there, it is real and painful, I understand. I can say from experience that just by holding on, seeking peace, and forgiving – eventually – it was in the past, and there was something else – better –
Hang in there.
God be with you and open the eyes of your heart !!! You are not alone. Believe ! :heart:
THE MOST IMPORTANT thing that I have learned in my life is:
I have the power to make a choice. Everything, in my opinion, comes down to one being proactive. Between what happens to us and how we respond to it, we have a choice of how we respond. The realization of that choice was a HUGE wake up call for me.
The one thing i learned so far that is most important to me is that i need to keep moving forward. Learning how to draw i felt like if i wanted to improve i had to move forward. I’ve learned a lot of unique tips and skills and i learned from a lot of great artists and people tell me i’ve made a lot of progress. i realize i made progress because i moved forward. It was the only way i could I couldn’t just stop and even if i did stop i realize i couldn’t grip over it i had to step forward. its not like day 1 i make this progres day 2 this day three this but i made progress as i moved on wards. it was how i learned and how i grew. i realized as a result how important it is to keep consistant with what im doing, i do something once and i do it again the same time the next day it develops conistancy and clarity. even doing this everyday has been a step forward. i also realized in order to step forward i had to complete what i do. i couldn’t just wait for something to happen. So in order to move forward i had to complete what i said i would so that new things can come and i can work from there. thats important and i realize its how i can make changes in my ability. it feels so strange yet so relieving to complete what i set out to do only to find new opportunities revealing itself as a result
for example completing assiginments, finishing a sketch working on a new project, these things have helped make an interesting experieince. i really like doing things like this and in the end i know i make a lot of progress. and for me that’s how i can become a better person ;)
By having too many expectations, there’ll never be anything to gain….If you ever tend to think that if you do something in the righteous way to others then they too should react in the same right way …..but life isn’t like the rain where all the drops would uniformly come down in the expected way…….I’ve also learnt that giving priority to yourself is of topmost importance, for it is when a tree is strong and healthy enough from inside that’s when its able to bear fruit on the outside
And this Celes is what I’ve learnt after acknowledging the pledge to redirect our lives from you that when you amass a huge load of expectations from others….its burden and weight become so much that you yourself wallow under its pressure and instead of reclaiming alliance from those high expectations you fall low, that looking back up takes a toll on you……Thank you for that Celes, my mentor and guide…..
Life can change in an instant. NEVER take anything or anyone for granted. The small things are important and bring the most joy. Treasure every moment you are given. Love with your whole heart. Laugh with your whole body and spirit. Create with everything that you have inside you. Be grateful for the simple things because even those could be taken from you.
There is so much that people take for granted, that I took for granted. Every freedom or ability you have right now someone else is being denied, by nature or culture, somewhere else in the world this very moment; so don’t waste it!!
So though that may have seemed like several things to learn it really is just the one.
Be grateful. Always.
Thanks for sharing your insight. :)
It was a nice reminder for me to be grateful for my current situation, whatever it may be. I do my best to be grateful for everything I have been gifted with in this life but sometimes I lose my focus. Remembering to be grateful throughout the day is the hardest part for me.
Hi Raven,
First of all, thank you for the comment on my post. Every comment I receive helps me become a better person and yours did too. I’m grateful for every comments I’ve received over the past few days.
Your post also reflects how I feel. We all take things for granted, but at least we all learn (or I hope at least) from our mistakes. I truly hope that everyone will live life to the fullest with appreciation of things around us.
:angel:
May
Hi Raven, thank you for sharing this. I also feel the same way. Often people (me included) take many things for granted. They focus on what they do not have, rather than appreciating and being grateful for what they have.
Thank you all for your comments! This journaling and sharing of ideas is teaching me new lessons everyday and I thank each of you for caring enough to show support of my learning and growing as a person.
I wish you all the best and Happy Journaling!!
Raven :heart:
The most important thing I have learned in life so far, is that everything change. Nothing is permanent. All is continuously in evolution.
Good times and bad times, up and downs, they are all destined to pass away, sooner or later.
That mean, don’t get attach to anything.
What is the most important thing to you now, in a minute you may find it not so important anymore.
Actually, the most important thing I have learned so far is probably something else.
Like happiness is within us, or we control our life.
Uhm, no, not really, not exactly.
But maybe one day.
The most important thing I’ve learned in life so far is that you set the boundaries for how other people can treat you.
Each day is a gift, a present and should be lived with gratitude. Live it as if it were the last day of your life. Work, love, and enjoy the sights, scents, smells, textures, and sounds that will make it the richest day of your life. Live each second appreciating the fact that you have it. Be grateful for each moment you are give, because others may not have that moment. But you do.
Mary Jane,
This is mine also and it is unfortunate that I had to go through an awful relationship and much loss in order to learn this lesson but that is why I would wish for others to learn it by us saying it out loud. I would hope that it can be learned that way also. I don’t know that it can but I have hope and your post gives me hope that I am not alone in sharing this lesson with others.
I hope you have wonderful moments,
Raven
This is not an easy one. My friend said something similar about the day is a gift and we need to appreciate it. I wish you well with this and little by little you will begin to experience the day with all your senses. I am working on this myself and I am sure that others are doing it. We are not alone with this. Good luck with this and you have all my best going forward.
Be honest with myself. Dont try and fool myself and thus others that Im a saint in behaviour and paragon of patience and virtue. Accept that the dark side is there too and when it is accepted and embraced and being part of who I am, only then can I accept who I am as a person. And once that accepted is true and real then and only then can I make changes to who I am. May not be as much change as i would like to become my ‘ideal self’ but improvements nonetheless and each small improvement is to be accepted with as much warmth and acknowlegdement as the bad parts of me. I am what I am in every moment so I must accept who I am at the moment, acknowledge but not dislike the things that need to be changed, and to maintain those things that I deem to be ok and already up to my ‘standard’.
Having learned so many important things after 56 years on this earth, choosing only one is not an easy thing to do.
Learning that it’s alright to lean on someone, to be a bit dependent on and to be able to ask for help from that person has been a very difficult but worthwhile lesson for me.
There are so many things I’ve learned in life and still continue to learn with each passing second. But, for me, the most important thing that I’ve learned in life so far is : “Having goals to reach for”
For far too long, I just wing it and didn’t take a serious view of having goals to reach for, what I really want in life, what makes me come alive, what I really, really, want to be when I grow up. It was really like being a piece of paper being blown by the wind and ending up wherever the wind stopped.
Having goals should start at a very early age so that it becomes as natural as breathing. I’ve painted this scenario to list out roughly my point of having goals to reach for.
* As a student, we must be taught how to set goals for marks that we want to achieve in our assessments and exams. It will push us to study harder, smarter.
* Which college to aim for and what achievements we must aim for to be eligible for enrollment in the college of our choice. Again, when we have a goal to reach for, we will be pushed to our best potential.
* In our work life, to climb the ladder of success, when we have a goal to reach for, it would be clearer to us on how to get there.
* When we are looking for a significant other, what kind of person we are looking for and what are the mission and vision of the marriage — there should also be a goal in place. A good, lasting marriage takes a lot of hard work. Often times, love alone is not enough. Both husband and wife should be on the same page, with the same goals that they must work for as a team.
* In bringing up children — here again, what are our goals, as parents. Things would be so much clearer if we have goals to reach for.
* In retirement — again, setting our goals continue.
I’ve gone through many phases of the above scenario and I speak from experience of living most of them without a goal whatsoever. Sometimes, I feel it’s a little too late in life to have a goal, but my better self says, “carry on.” As long as I am alive, I will have goals to reach for.
Goals are not only for career minded people but even a housewife, a stay-at-home parent, a maid or a road sweeper — should have goals to reach for. They will be different but they are your own goals. Only you know what’s best for you and you will know how to get there and your vision will be that much clearer, if you have a goal to reach for.
This is quite easy – out of whatever I’ve learnt in life, it is something I learnt about myself – what my passion in life is.
I believe I’m really blessed to know about my passion at such a tender age. Without knowing my passion… I’ll be stuck in life chasing good grades and not live life to the fullest. I won’t be truly happy.
That’s it. If I were to write the top 3 things, #1 will be uncovering my passion, #2 will be knowing, how much my parents have worked so that I can have a good education and life. Finally, #3 will be how I have such a loving family and such good friends.
If there is one thing most significant in life that I have learned, it is that despite all the lows in our life, we can always rise above these failures and frustrations by accepting them as lessons to learn from. Some bad things or disappointments in life can come in the form of blessings and the realization can come much later. I believe that things happen for a reason…to open our eyes to the truth, to right a wrong, to realize that there may be something better ahead for us.
Follow your heart. Do the things you dream of. Be, become the person you most admire and respect. Acknowledge your fears and all the reasons why you cant or shouldn’t and do it anyway. The only regrets you will have in later life will be the things you wanted to do but didn’t.
What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?
The most important thing in life I have learned so far is that you can only depend on yourself, and no one else. People say they will be there for you, but they always leave or it is a lie. Once they get what they want from you they don’t need you anymore.
Sounds like you’ve been through a hard time :(
Although I think that is partially true, don’t ever forget your family members! They’ll always be there for you. When you need others and they are not there for you, you learn who your true friends are. That alone is an experience to learn from. I hope you meet (or have already met) someone you can depend on.
Best wishes,
May
I can totally relate to that.
I have had my share of experiences with such people too, and there was a hurtful phase in my life after which I started following the saying, “never be totally dependent on anyone because even your own shadow leaves you when you’re in the dark.” Then, I met many wonderful people and I do depend on some of them, time to time. But I never totally depend on anybody except myself.
I hope you meet/have some people that you could depend on sometimes for a change.
Good luck & have a nice day :)
I agree with all the moments but I think if you are focusing on the people like this you are attracting them so therefore they will appear in your life. I had people just as painful, disrespectful and users who did a lot of damage to me on the inside and the outside. Over time I had to let go and never let those naysayers/hurtful people into my life. I know what to look for and I can prevent it from happening. So, I believe it maybe helpful we found like minded individuals who will help you grow and overcome this by just being with them and helping you feel loved, special and welcome!
@ SHERILYN – Your lesson in life is a great one to learn but also a painful experience and I want to congratulate you on stepping out and kicking the nastiness out!
All the Best love and support, :dance:
Ezza xxx
Opps meant ‘comments’ lol HAHA :lol:
My life motto for years has been “Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight”.
Persevere. Never quit on yourself or your dreams. Always try again until you succeed.
This is important in life.
Christine,
This is a great lesson as well!! I couldn’t agree more. And I love that I get 7 whole times too…no “three strikes you’re out”. It is true that no matter how many times you are knocked down you always have the choice to stand back up. To have the last word. I like that idea.
Thank you for sharing that thought and motto,
Raven
Thanks, Raven! ;)
Totally love this response. We only fail if we refuse to get back up when we are knocked down.
Thanks, Jeff! ;)
“Fall seven times, stand up eight” is my life motto too :D
Well said Christine….Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight. :)
The most important thing I’ve learned in life so far is that everything changes, so be prepared for change. The external environment (economy, weather, etc) can change in an instant. I’ve learned to be prepared with a positive attitude and an can-do demeanour to make best of whatever the situation may be. Some years will be great, others will be a struggle, but all we can do is try to be prepared and do our best.
This is so hard. For me personally (just being selfish), I think it’s that I know I can forgive myself when I fail. I fail a lot, so I don’t beat myself up over it too much. Maybe I should, but I try to learn and grow from it instead of being fixated on how bad I have been. I’m an optimist, not a perfectionist.
But, I think the absolutely most important thing I AM learning is how to love. I’ve come a long way from high school, now I can see past people’s walls and reach out to them. To stress why acknowledging this is important to me is to go to the Bible. Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God, the second to love others. Again, in 1 Corinthians 13:13, it is written, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Love and the ability to forgive are intertwined. I pray that more people can recognize this and turn to love-leading to more understandings and less hatred.
I think the most important thing I’ve learned so far in life is to not take everything for granted. Life passes by quick and I’m sure everyone’s heard of the phrase “You won’t know it’s gone until it’s gone”. Each and everyday would pass by in a blink of an eye. We grow older and older, but the question I’ve always ponder and ask myself is: Did you live the day today to your fullest?
Sometimes I say yes, sometimes, I feel like I wasted the whole entire day with useless things (like today).
May,
This is the lesson I chose as the most important as well, but don’t forget, you didn’t waste the entire day. You posted this valuable truth so that others could learn from you!
Continue to treasure your life and your moments and never forget that you can find something of worth in any day…no matter how unproductive you were or how much you didn’t get done. There is always something there to be grateful for. Always :)
Raven
The most important thing I’ve learned is not to let the worry that you think it might be too late to do the things you want hold you back.
Two examples:
1) I always intended to leave Memphis to go out to California, but due to a series of family and job issues, I stayed. By the time I was in my late 30s, I figured it was too late to move, but the opportunity came up and I’m doing fine.
2) I started practicing yoga at age 40 and saw all these other people doing all these acrobatic poses. I figured that you had to have started in your teens or 20s to do these poses, and that starting as late in my life as I did, I would never do them. But as time went by, I approached them incrementally and much to my surprise, I occasionally pop into a new one! I’m not the most elegant one in the class, but I’m doing things I never thought I’d do.
Hi Edwilk,
There are couple of things that I had missed in the past and I wanted to try them now, but recently I was having some second thoughts that it might be too late, but your examples inspired me to put a stop on my second thoughts.
Thanks for sharing! Have a nice day!
The most important thing I have learned in life so far, is that happiness comes from the inside. I didn’t always think this, like a lot of children are I was somewhat material and selfish. At some point when I was a teenager (though I’m not sure exactly when) I began to really feel the hollowness that kind of life brings. When I was 17, I learned through a series of disappointments that sometimes our worst losses really do turn into our greatest blessings. I also began to realize that there is no panel of “the World” that judges whether we are successful or not, in truth, we are rather anonymous. Realizing these two smaller lessons sort of converged into the big lesson of happiness. I learned how to constructively recollect events from my past and apply my goals to the future without worrying how it would measure up to anyone else. Now I am truly happy because I know what I want out of life and why. I try to always keep this lesson with me when I’m feeling frustrated (nod to yesterday’s question) or blue.
You are responsible for your own actions.
The only thing we truly control in our lives is our reaction to any given situation. So many times when we control our reaction we find that we control the situation. :) I like your simple words.
If you are to pinpoint just 1 thing you’ve learned, the 1 most important thing you’ve learned in your life so far, what would it be?
The fact that most people are not what I thought them to be.
Only one?
Follow my heart…
Go with the flow and chase my dreams…
The heart is always sincere and holds the deepest truth even though I may not see it. It lets you be the authentic single unique individual you are, and it can bring you lots of joy and happiness, if you let it.
If you set your heart to achieve something, you will achieve it.
Fear not acknowledged and faced is a great deterrent to living a fully productive life. This, and a depressed vision of our own capabilities and personal freedoms. Allowing our concern for how others view us can be like wearing shoes lined with lead. :angel: .
Love it! Well said.
The most important thing I’ve learned in life so far:
Be Happy and Feel Good.
and how to achieve it? I do the following steps:
– try to be gratitude upon whatever events happen
– if I can’t, I ask these question: what is the best thing from the event, what is the valuable lesson (often .. ok.. it IS the heart-breaking lesson) to be learned, what can I do to be better next time [this question is credited to one of my mentor]
– I admit negatives feelings, admit frustration, etc, then reflect, ok the feeling’s there but what good will it do for me to achieve my goal.
– if the negative feelings still exist, I still feel uncomfortable, etc, I just… let it be, give it some time and focus on being happy and feeling good.
Most things are gray not simply black or white. When I was young, everything was either right or wrong, good or bad, clear or unclear. Having lived for 62 years, I just can’t see things in the simplistic way I did. There are many times when mitigating circumstances intervene to complicate choices. What may be totally wrong in many circumstances, may really be the only option in others. For example, civil disobedience. I was taught to respect authority and do what I was told by authority. The recent events at Penn State are examples of how simply doing the right thing, i.e. telling your superior, was not enough. So, I have learned that many choices require much more than knowing right or wrong. A right choice today may be totally wrong at another time.
We are the Architects of our own life. What we want in life is up to us. Not is impossible in life.
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