This is Day 7 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 7 of 21DJC! :)Yesterday’s question was: “What Frustrates You?“.Thank *you* for your earnest responses. While it’s good to be positive, and to focus on the positive stuff, the thing is frustration is one in the spectrum of emotions we experience as humans. Everyone feels frustrated in some way or another – it’s just a matter of (a) whether you’re aware of it (b) whether you want to admit it or not.Some people may think: “Oh well, I’m never frustrated”, or “I’ve overcome frustration because I choose not to focus on negative things, only positive stuff”. Fair enough, but my question, and my challenge to you would be: Is it true that you’re never frustrated, or are you just not conscious of it? And for those people who still insist you’re never frustrated, are you perhaps denying your emotions, and deluding yourself?While the *feeling* of frustration is not a positive experience, it’s not a negative phenomenon per se. All emotions, as with all situations in life, are neutral occurrences. To give it any meaning beyond what it is, would be to turn it into something that it’s not.Like all of you, I have my fair share of times when I feel frustrated. Just yesterday, I was quite frustrated with the moderator of a conference I was speaking at, because for some reason, the outline that was agreed upon before the panel was not adhered to. I was frustrated because I had prepared a fair bit for the conference, and I felt half of the work had gone to waste, never to be absorbed by others. I was frustrated because it didn’t allow me to showcase my best value to the audience, who were there to learn about the topic.I would also be frustrated whenever people got in my way of growing, or helping others to grow. Because this is my life purpose, it felt like everything was at stake when I wasn’t allowed to pursue it. I would feel scrunched up on the inside, like my existence has been compromised.Other things that would frustrate me include people who impose their values on others, people who give their opinions and advice when not asked for, irresponsible people, people who make empty promises, when I sabotage my own weight loss efforts, naysayers, people who try to attack my beliefs, among others.I don’t think we should concern ourselves with eliminating frustration as an emotion. Neither should we let the feeling of frustration perpetuate too. Frustration happens as a result of things not going our way, so it’s a useful tool in self-discovery and growth.I think whenever we feel frustrated, we should strive to understand the source of our frustrations, learn from the situation, and apply what we learned, so the same situation will not recur in the future. This is what it means to learn and grow.With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 7 of 21DJC! :)Yesterday’s question was: “What Frustrates You?“.Thank *you* for your earnest responses. While it’s good to be positive, and to focus on the positive stuff, the thing is frustration is one in the spectrum of emotions we experience as humans. Everyone feels frustrated in some way or another – it’s just a matter of (a) whether you’re aware of it (b) whether you want to admit it or not.Some people may think: “Oh well, I’m never frustrated”, or “I’ve overcome frustration because I choose not to focus on negative things, only positive stuff”. Fair enough, but my question, and my challenge to you would be: Is it true that you’re never frustrated, or are you just not conscious of it? And for those people who still insist you’re never frustrated, are you perhaps denying your emotions, and deluding yourself?While the *feeling* of frustration is not a positive experience, it’s not a negative phenomenon per se. All emotions, as with all situations in life, are neutral occurrences. To give it any meaning beyond what it is, would be to turn it into something that it’s not.Like all of you, I have my fair share of times when I feel frustrated. Just yesterday, I was quite frustrated with the moderator of a conference I was speaking at, because for some reason, the outline that was agreed upon before the panel was not adhered to. I was frustrated because I had prepared a fair bit for the conference, and I felt half of the work had gone to waste, never to be absorbed by others. I was frustrated because it didn’t allow me to showcase my best value to the audience, who were there to learn about the topic.I would also be frustrated whenever people got in my way of growing, or helping others to grow. Because this is my life purpose, it felt like everything was at stake when I wasn’t allowed to pursue it. I would feel scrunched up on the inside, like my existence has been compromised.Other things that would frustrate me include people who impose their values on others, people who give their opinions and advice when not asked for, irresponsible people, people who make empty promises, when I sabotage my own weight loss efforts, naysayers, people who try to attack my beliefs, among others.I don’t think we should concern ourselves with eliminating frustration as an emotion. Neither should we let the feeling of frustration perpetuate too. Frustration happens as a result of things not going our way, so it’s a useful tool in self-discovery and growth.I think whenever we feel frustrated, we should strive to understand the source of our frustrations, learn from the situation, and apply what we learned, so the same situation will not recur in the future. This is what it means to learn and grow.With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!21DJC Day 7
Today is Day 7, which marks the end of the 1st week out of the 3 weeks of our 21-Day Journaling Challenge. Having shared the things that frustrate us yesterday, today, I’d like you to reflect on:What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
Look forward to reading your answers! :D
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Man lying on the field))
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“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi
For a long while, I would frustrate myself with how other people were jerks and how they needed to be shown this or do that. I realized everyone including myself was busy thinking about how other people should change instead of focusing on changing myself. Criticizing others has contributed to making me feel depressed, because when I hold others to a standard even I cannot achieve, how else should I feel but bad (subconsciously). Instead of criticizing others, I try to tell myself there is plenty of work that needs to be done about me: For example, am I the healthiest person that I can be instead of getting mad at all the fat people I see?
There is so much I could work on with myself to last a lifetime, I don’t have any time to waste on what I think other people need to do about themselves. Instead of being preoccupied with others, be preoccupied with the ideal vision of myself.
Having spent most of my younger years following trends and listening to other peoples advice, I have come to realise that I am the only one that knows the best answer for me.
There have been moments when I have had amazing opportunities fall at my feet but hesitated to grasp hold because of bad advice from friends. I’m glad that I learned those lessons and am in no way blaming other people for me missing out, after all, when it came to the crunch, I was the decider.
So my biggest lesson learned is to listen to my own heart and to look for the answers inside of myself and to follow my instincts.
okay, i’m aware that this might sound cheesy :P …but the most important thing i’ve learned in life so far is that “Love needs no reason”
Living is the most important thing.. and time is my most precious possession.
…but I worked hard and long to arrive at this most important lesson, checking off all the other classes in the school of my life: education, emigration, creating family unit, professional development, learning to love myself for who I am in the entirety (tough one), pursuit of passion (as if life itself was not enough) etc.. all the other lessons were absolutely neccessary to help me arrive at the final lesson…
.. now my task is not to squander this most important lesson and enjoy every moment while it lasts without ever complaining again..
As a reminder I should just look at a little baby from time to time as babies are our very important mentors – they know for sure the most important lesson: before that is we teach them otherwise..
The most important thing I´ve learned in my whole life ist, that I am the only one who is responsible for my happiness and my goals, for my love and my life. I can not blame anybody else, nor the situation I am embedded in. I always have a choice. And it´s on me to think, to take responsibility and to live.
If not me, who else should please me in a whole way? Nobody can do this. No one feels like me, no one has my experiences. It´s me who has to live my life. Key to success are other people in my life. Don´t hang around with the ones who try to stop you. Surround yourself with people who are good for you, your mental health and your goals. Try to grow and try new things, regardless of what the others may say.
I am the only one who can stop me. I will overcome procrastination, I focus on my goals and let the ways to it be onpen and not determinated.It´s a wonderful life I will never ever miss.
never lose hope. there can be miracles. always have faith in God
The 1 thing that i’ve learned is nothing beats throwing yourself out there and learning through experience.
We may want to do many things yet we procrastinate or we over think. Making some decisions within seconds are awesome (regardless whether it’s good or bad).
Some of the things i would like to share.
1) There was this girl in the gym. I had no idea how to talk to her but i’ve learned this 3 second rule from a dating book and i tried on her. I was nervous like hell but i did it and eventually over time we became friends. =)
2) We learn through mistakes. Mistakes makes us a better person.
3) The more people we meet, the more life experience we gain through our differences.
Respect is important. Whoever who you are or what you are. You shouldn’t disrespect anyone.
Even though I know more things, I cannot say I’ve learned them, because knowing and implementing are two different things.
So I’d say I’ve learned very little. Gradual changes, almost invisible. Even though I know more things, I act and react the same. Even though looking at the past events – I could say I learned this and that, – when the same situations happen at present moment – that knowledge does so little.
So I’ve learned… that actual personality/character changes are very difficult to achieve.
What I’ve learned so far is that practice makes perfect.
This is an incredibly difficult question, as I feel like I’m coming to a point in my life where I’m finally learning a lot of things that I probably should have learned years ago, or that I’ve allowed myself to forget over the past 10 years or so.
One thing that I always knew but am finally putting into practice is to appreciate the people who are in my life. When I was younger, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by a lot of friends, and it was very easy for me to get to know people. I was also lucky enough to have a family that always stood by me, even when I messed up, and that took good care of me. These are great things, but I think they made me feel like it didn’t take much work to have important people in your life. That’s not true. While being close to the people you choose to be close to shouldn’t feel like a chore, all the important relationships in my life require a good deal of effort. That effort is part of what makes them so special– you both know that the other person is putting effort in, and you put effort in, which cements the relationship. This is so obvious, but I’m ashamed to say there was a time in my life where I didn’t really think about what it meant to value the people who were close to me.
I think another important thing I’ve learned in life is that I simply cannot control what other people choose to do. Again– incredibly obvious, but a realization for me nonetheless. I’ve always been someone who prefers to be in control, and to be able to know what other people are going to do. If I wanted someone to do thing X, and they wanted to do thing Y, I would see it as a failure if they ended up doing thing Y. I figured I could always convince them to see my side of things if I just explained it the right way. Yet, at some point I came to realize that there is simply no way to predict or control what other people do. The best I can do is make the best choices for myself, so that I always understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. That is hard enough in and of itself. If I can live in accordance with that, then I can learn to accept that other people have the same right and ability to make the best choices for themselves.
Being positive. I used to be such a pessimist but something made me realize that life is too short and you need to be happy whenever you can.
The most important thing I’ve learnt so far is change is the only constant, so I should strive to travel lightly through this world, holding on to nothing too tightly.
If there is one thing in life that I have learned that I would say is the most important, I would say it is a very simple and known fact to everyone too. It is simply to: BE NICE. No matter what nationality we are, what age, what race, what country we live in, being nice will never be wrong and it is the only way to go. Being nice is always an advantage whether it be at work, or when we travel because it represents us as a person and as a filipino as well. When we are nice, everything is more colorful and people treat us nice in return. If they don’t, then at least we know we did what is right and we can not do anything to control others emotions. I also believe that everybody deep inside is nice and we just have to tap into each and every persons inner niceness.
I´ve learn with lost of tears that self confidence dosent come from the outside, you cant depend on others to belive in your self, and it happens a lot, specially in mariage when sometimes the words from your partner can ground you deep and destroy your self esteem.
We have to nourish our selves day by day and remmember we are capable of doing great things, even the doubts of others. I´ve learn not to listten to those bad influences, those negative words that dont want my personal growing.
I´ve learn that even my self have sometimes like “bad spirits” inside me that want to take me apart from fighting to succed, I should not listten to those internal voices of discouragement. In my catholic religion we say that dicouragment comes from the devil, and it is, because it takes you apart from the struggle to improve and be a better person day by day.
In conclussion I´ve learn that I can be as succesful and happy as I want, it´s just a matter of beliving in my self.
Top Priority Most important thing I have learned is to live my magnificence, reaching within the essence of the God-given Source of me so I can and will make the best possible choices for myself, and make those choices with the faith that my true purpose is unfolding each moment, and with that trust that I am on the right path, I meet the right people and do the right things, and live each moment with a glad heart and gratitude for my life, and any positve, caring things I can do to make the world a better place, helping others along the way.
The most important thing I have learned in life so far is that life is fleeting. Yesterday we put my husband’s grandmother to rest. She lived a long life, but everyone regretted not having made the most of every moment with her.
I have realized how important it is to not waste time, for we never know how long we truly have. Now is the time to get going and put my dreams in action, for one day tomorrow might be too late.
Never quit trying or give up. Never accept defeat in your mind–for it will manifest in reality. Acknowledge your weaknesses and strive to improve them, NOT change yourself.
I would probably say that the most important thing I’ve learned in life so far is to have the right attitude – that is don’t worry, be yourself, be happy, give anything a go, don’t fear for the future, live for now (but not at the expense of the future!). Easier said than done though sometimes.
I think that the most important things in life have been discovering meditation, learning to visualization, and the power of self-beliefs. Meditation allows me to calm my body to states of mind that I have never thought were possible. It lowers my blood pressure, it relaxes my muscles, my eyes and believe it or not just after about 20 min of just steady deep breathing and meditation, I become 100% more confident because I released all my tension. I am 100% happier and ready to make everyone in this world a happier person just by being near me. Energies are contagious just like yawns, my happy energy and enthusiasm is contagious that it makes them want to be around me all the time. When I set a goal I visualize the positive outcome until I obtain that goal. Self-beliefs are important because they make up my values and that man with integrity, confidence, passion, love, and worth. :D
I AM.
That is the most important thing I learned so far in my life. It took me many years, anguish, tears, frustration and self-doubt to arrive at this point. I always had the compulsion to define myself in some fashion. Simply being was never enough, not even considered by me as an option.
I have (by birth I guess as my parents were uncomplicated types) a type A personality, always on the run, always 120%, intense, stubborn, passionate, opinionated, driven, searching.. forever.. So I tried to fullfill myself on the intellectual level, nailed MBA than CMA.. I tried to fullfill myself as The Mother of The Year, working part-time until my kids were 8-9, spending all my time with them, drawing, painting, cycling, baking, reading for hours every single day. I tried to be a perfect employee raising from minimum wage to C-Suite with good pay. I tried to be a good wife, still married 20+ years.
But the most tricky part was to find the definition of myself. Who am I? What do I want? What is my passion? How can I eat more of this life that was given to me? Always hungry for more. But more of what….? How can I be better than I am? Why am I not enough? Why do I hate myself?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So reading, watching, listening followed: Oprah, Dyer, successful folks, friends, life coaches, teachers, motivational books of all sorts, philosophers old and new, religion etc
I was also fortunate to suffer from depression and wallow in self-pity for years which allowed me to mourn my imperfect self and put it to grave permanently. The mile-long wish list of painful inadequacies I carried everywhere and used to repeat with sadistic self-inflicted torture: impefect husband, imperfect living accomodation, imperfect job, imperfect kids, imperfect justice system etc got shredded by selective memory loss.
On the way I observed my father die in the hospice yearning only for another breath and this I think was big contributing factor to cement all I learned in life into one profound lesson:
I AM
Period. There is no need for me to complete this sentence. I am. Enough. Breathing, Seeing, Walking. Loving. Feeling life. Every day. Another day.
Every morning is a precious gift now that shocks me with its beauty. Walking to work along the ocean I choke with emotion of Being. Saying good-by to my family and seeing them again after work is a gift. Celerating a simple act of making a tea with a flower in a vase on my table is profound.. It took me 46 years to arrive at this lesson – this is it: my life and it is wonderful. I realized the gift of old(er) age – wisdom to be. in peace. with myself.. The price is dear indeed: wrinkles and loss of energy but the gain is such a treasure.
I AM
.. and nothing else needs to be said
Small decisions make a big difference. It took me years to figure this out and now that I have noticed this I realize how small decisions affect my entire day. For example: There is school A, school B. It took me an entire 9th grade to choose which highschool I wanted to transfer to. School A was a normal school but my best friend would go there while school B was advanced but I would know nobody there at first. I choose school B as I wanted to take culinary arts as being a chef was my clear life goal at the time.
My life vision has changed a lot since then and being a chef is no longer my goal but thanks to choosing school B I noticed there were many things I became the person I am today. If I had gone to school A I would had experienced different things and be a different me.This is only an example but this is applied to anything in life,small or big.
To be honest, I don’t think I’d be on the personal excellence blog if I hadn’t gone to School B! :D
I meant that thanks that I choose school B I learned there many things that caused me to became the person I am today.
You don’t get there if you quit.
Your perspective and reactions are the most important. Others can drag you away from yourself and your happiness. You have control over how you feel and how the world affects you. Never give up that power.
Don’t judge. “Let it be.”
That life goes on. The world keeps going whether you do or not. You can live this life down in the dumps all the time, but it will not get you anywhere. You can accept life the way it is and let negative things happen, and the world won’t stop going. You have to decide to take negative things as they come, get over them and move on. Keep a positive attitude… not just the facade of having one, but actually being positive inside and out. Stay positive, keep going and truly be happy with yourself. Remember that everything happens for a reason, even if that reason does not become clear for some time.
My most important lesson so far..Be my own best friend first; I need to take care of myself first before i should take care of others. Loving yourself and having your wants and needs as the number one priority in life is NOT being selfish, it is the most important and the best thing you can do to yourself. Sacrificing your happiness for others does not exactly give you a spot in their “good people” list. People will only exploit you for their own needs. Each person is for himself and herself. Nobody lives for anybody else.you are responsible for your own happiness.Be your own best friend.Taking care of yourself brings you closer to God.
Be grateful ! We have more things to be grateful for than things to ask for. Just open the eyes of your heart ! :heart:
:) This is a good one.
The most important thing I’ve learned in life so far is that I know nothing. lol! And that there are many sides to a situation, so never to give up hope.
Everyday I learn something new, and my viewpoint changes accordingly. But if I am honest, so far the most important thing I have learnt is that there is no ultimate truth, nothing that explains it all from the outside (and that was something that I was pursuing for my whole life before that, trying to understand how it all works), and the only truth lies within oneself.
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