This is Day 18 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge held in March 2012, where we work on being positive for 21 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the tasks.
21DPC Day 18 Question
Today’s positivity question is this:
What are 3 Negative Thoughts You Carry?
And Why?
I believe all of us have not-so-positive thoughts that float in our consciousness – just a matter of whether we are aware of them. These negative thoughts may be in the form of self-doubts, judgment against others, or grievances against the world. They may arise during moments when we are at our weakest, during times when we are stressed, or during situations when we face negative triggers.
Think over the thoughts that crossed your mind in the past and identify at least 3 negative thoughts that exist in your consciousness. If you can think of more, that’s even better – this will clear the path for more positivity to enter your mind. Tomorrow, you will be identifying the positive thoughts to replace your negative thoughts with.
Your Task:
- Reflect and answer today’s question(s). Write as few or as many words as needed to fully express yourself.
- Sieve out the negative thoughts that cross your mind today.
- On top of the 3 negative thoughts you cited in today’s answer, spend some time examining the thoughts that cross your mind today.
- With each thought, ask yourself if this is a positive, negative, or neutral thought.
- Make a mental note of the negative ones and share them in the comments section.
- Identify at least one positive thing about your day. It may be something small or something big – as long as you deem it as something positive, it counts. If you have more than 1 thing to share, then by all means, go for it!
Share Your Answers!
After you are done, share your answers in the comments area.
If you’re doing this at the start of the day, you can post your answer for today’s question first, then work on your positivity task throughout the day, then return at the end of the day to share your results for your positivity task and your end-of-day positive reflection.
Check out other participants’ answers. Pick 1-2 participants’ answers and make a meaningful reply to them. Engage in the discussions. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days!
(Images: Happy girl in the field, Sad girl at window)
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the negative thoughts i carry…
1-i am angry all the time.
2-not polite with my son.
3-people not think good about myself.
why?
because in past i was the angry being.now i have changed myself a lot.
Why are you angry all the time? What makes you want to live in a constant state of anger and give your joy away?
The next time you think about being rude to your son, just remember that things that go on outside the home are like a stubbed toe. They hurt, but its temporary…things that go on inside the home i.e. things our parents do to us are permanent. The next time you feel yourself being rude, just stop and apologize right on the spot and then ask him to help you be accountable. It is hard to let them have the freedom to tell you that you are being rude, but I have done it and it has made a world of difference. First, it took the pressure off the kid because they didn’t have to be treated poorly. Second, it took the pressure off me because I didn’t have to pretend to be some all knowing perfect being who had all the answers and we could learn to be human together.
Finally, if people cant accept that you are changing and like you for who you are then find some new friends. If it is family members and you have to be around them, then just keep doing the right things the right way and they will warm up to you over time. If you are as angry as you sound then they have a right to be skeptical and only consistent non angry behavior will win them back.
thanks Jared, for wonderful suggestions. i appreciate your thinking.
You’re welcome! I know being a parent is a tough job, best of luck!
Thanks for making me smile Lottie. It gets so crowded and yet lonely in my head. I’m glad I can let it out and someone understands what I mean.
1 – I’m rubbish at cooking
2 – I’m not creative
3 – My disability is harder to cope with the older I get.
4 – I’m a bad mother, human being, woman, friend, student, worker, wife, gardener, housewife, daughter, sister etc etc.
Today I thought of number 1 and 3.
Positive things about today:
1 – Funnily enough, reading about everyone’s negative thoughts was such a relief for me because I have this idea that everyone in the whole world is coping with life fine, apart from ME! Yes, it’s all about me! I always seem to forget that other people might have problems and negative thoughts too.
2 – I had 3 lovely Mothering Day cards from each of my 3 daughters – and they all phoned me too. Feel cherished.
3 – My husband and I had a cliff top walk today and the sea was sparkling and the sun was shining and we were with a lovely friendly group of people.
Hi Lottie,
Well your encouraging response to me shows that you are a kind, compassionate human being! :)
And cards and phonecalls from all THREE daughters: You’re doing something right as a mother!
Just like you I often think I am the only one struggling and being hard on myself! Which is clearly not true!
Your cliff top walk sounds lovely. Thanks again for your kind words. :)
Recurring negative thoughts-
I’m not beautiful
I’m not good enough. I failed in one of the most important virtues of Christianity. I’m not holy enough.
I’ve failed to find inner peace.
Positive thing-
Feeling better after being sick for days
Hello Ama, I can relate to all three of your recurring thoughts and I am sorry that you have them. I ‘recognized’ them as soon as I read them. You are not alone in thinking these things and I am certain that having these thoughts makes us more sympathetic to others who are feeling negative too. Thank you for sharing these thoughts – it’s certainly helped me because now I recognize that I think these thoughts too I can consciously start to change them a little.
PS – Glad you’re feeling better.
I have lots of negative thoughts. I’m going to share them all because I want to work on changing them tomorrow!
-I am unfocused and disorganised and can’t change.
-I am less than other people who are more middle class, richer, more focused, organised, sociable, better parents, enjoy their jobs, live in nicer houses/areas, are better dressed, more groomed, funnier, smarter with their money.
-I am an idealist and my vision for my life is unrealistic and unobtainable.
-I am failing my son
-I will never be rich, improve my back pain or ‘get my act together’
-I am unable to enjoy or maintain a relationship
-I have wasted my intelligence and talents
-I had a promising future but wasted opportunities and am a disappointing failure.
-I’ll never be a writer because I keep putting it off.
-I just can’t seem to sort my home out.
-My local area is a scary, unsafe and less than ideal place for me and my son.
-English culture prevents good education, holistic health and for people to reach their potential.
-I am stuck in this country and in my home.
-I am unable to create the necessary structure and boundaries for effective parenting.
-I am a fearful, neurotic, perfectionist person who will never find peace and happiness. :(
-I am not good with people.
-I need to work in a job that is not customer/client facing, involves teaching or groupwork, or sales because I am introverted and not good at those things.
-Meaningful jobs that really make a difference to people do not pay well.
-The things I enjoy and that are important to me will never make me much money.
-Family members have abandoned me because I am too weird and unconventional.
I don’t want to depress anyone but I feel by getting all these thoughts out I can replace them with positive alternatives tomorrow. I will see if anything else comes up today and return with my positive for the day. So far one positive is that I chatted to ‘middle class’ people at the park who were friendly towards me, I gave my mum a mother’s day present, I got a mother’s day present and lots of mother’s day texts from friends, some of whom I hadn’t heard of in ages which made me feel quite loved and special. :heart:
Hey Roses,
Well done you for teasing out all these different strands of negative thoughts. When I feel negative my thoughts all coalesce into one big foggy black blob and it’s very hard to separate them out. I can absolutely relate to most of what you’ve written – in fact I can relate to most of what everyone’s written! But I think you’re half way there really – you’ve named and clarified lots of your negative thoughts. Brilliant!
One of my daughters lives in Hackney, London and the area is such a mix of scary and fantastic. You reminded me of the place when you talked about your local area and then later talked about having a nice chat with middle class people in the park! I guess a lot of London and cities everywhere are like that.
Finally, I am introverted too – let’s hear it for the introverts! Being introverted is treated as if you have a disability nowadays. Why is it meant to be so fab to be extrovert? I like it that there are all different types of people.
Hi Lottie,
Thanks for your response, it means so much to me! :)
Wow it’s funny, but sometimes I feel like I am the only person thinking these things!
Yes in London you can run for ten minutes and go from a council estate to a street of mansions, it’s crazy! My aunt lives in Hackney, that area is a real mix, you’ve got trendy Dalston and Stoke Newington alongside much deprivation, such a unique place! But you’re right, probab;y many cities are like that.
My early childhood was spent in rural Ireland and small town Germany and sometimes I feel like I can’t give my son that sense of nature, security and freedom in London and I feel so bad! :(
Let’s hear it for the introverts indeed! There are many positives such as being good at listening and having a sense of independence :)
Thanks so much for the encouragement Lottie, much love :hug:
I forgot to say why I carry these negative thoughts. I’ll have to come back to that.
One more:
-I have low-self esteem and always will
Will respond later about why!
I just wanted to add that I think it’s amazing that you got all those negative thoughts out and are going to work on them and change them into positives tomorrow!
You are not the only one thinking these things, a lot of people share your thoughts!
And I’m an introvert too, sometimes it can seem so difficult (I guess because we’re the minority), but we should celebrate it :)
good luck with changing these thoughts around tomorrow!
Jo
Thanks Jo!
I’m so happy to have your support!
Yes it can be tough being an introvert, I get so drained sometimes when I have a busy weekend or when my son is super chatty all day. But at the same time we have the ability to work alone and can occupy ourselves :)
I feel like I could go on with my negative thoughts but there is more than enough to work with there!
xxx
OK so I’m back to explain why I feel this way and share my positive for the day.
-I am unfocused and disorganised and can’t change.
Because I have been struggling with a lack of focus for the last ten years. After school I didn’t have a plan, ended up doing a degree, having a baby and starting work but I am always trying to figure out what I should focus on
-I am less than other people who are more middle class, richer, more focused, organised, sociable, better parents, enjoy their jobs, live in nicer houses/areas, are better dressed, more groomed, funnier, smarter with their money.
I feel like I am clever and educated but my accent could be better, it’s a bit too London sometimes and I get lazy and don’t pronounce my Ts. Because I had my son at 22 and had very little money for a few years (and still not loads) I feel like people might judge me as being a ‘chav’ (common, low class). Also I live in social housing and that makes me feel like I am not that much of a success. I am an INFP (myers-briggs type indicator personality) and am disorganised, introverted and don’t pay that much attention to details like my appearance sometimes.
-I am an idealist and my vision for my life is unrealistic and unobtainable.
Because I am always looking for a better way. I am disatisfied with a lot in modern society and British institutions.
-I am failing my son.
Because I work so much, where we live could be a nicer area and more rural and because I am a bit unstructured and inconsistent and don’t always keep my cool.
-I will never be rich, improve my back pain or ‘get my act together’
Because for so long I haven’t solved these problems I feel like it will continue.
-I am unable to enjoy or maintain a relationship
My last relationship ended. We were both at fault but I feel like I couldn’t cope sharing my space with someone ever again and I’m not sure many men would want to be together but always live apart/never get married.
-I have wasted my intelligence and talents
I did very well in school, I found it easy. I loved drawing as a child, impressed my teachers early on and was a leader in early childhood when it came to making up games. But I fell in with a bad crowd in high school and although I did a degree I didn’t keep up my creative work nor surround myself with intellectual people for a long time.
-I had a promising future but wasted opportunities and am a disappointing failure.
I feel like everyone expected me to be this great success. Although I got a first in my degree it took me a while to get a job, which isn’t that amazing and I’m not sure I want to stay in it anyway.
-I’ll never be a writer because I keep putting it off.
I’ve wanted to be a writer since I read ‘White teeth’ aged 18, ten years ago now. I did a writing course back then and since then I’ve made the odd attempt but never finished anything.
-I just can’t seem to sort my home out.
I’ve been here 4 years and am still decluttering. Again because it’s been so long it feels like I can’t do it. I also think my brother, who is a carpenter, just can’t be bothered to help me!
-My local area is a scary, unsafe and less than ideal place for me and my son.
My area is ok, it’s a small estate with lots of kids. Some of the older kids are starting to smoke weed and try and look intimidating. Some of the young people sell drugs and don’t have jobs. The young kids play outside by themselves from a young age and seem very hardened. I want to protect my son from all of these negative influences.
-English culture prevents good education, holistic health and for people to reach their potential.
I find the school system oppressive, they ask for too much work too young and don’t allow children to have much of a childhood. With long commutes and everything being so expensive it’s hard to find the time to focus on your health, spirituality, social life and dreams.
-I am stuck in this country and in my home.
My son’s dad and all his grandparents live here, how can I leave? My home is social housing so much cheaper. I could swap with someone but it will be similar: A flat on an estate with questionable residents probably.
-I am unable to create the necessary structure and boundaries for effective parenting.
See above: Disorganised!
-I am a fearful, neurotic, perfectionist person who will never find peace and happiness.
I worry about things for ten times as long as it would take to take action on them! I have been fearful since moving to this country aged 11 although I’m much better now. No matter what I do, nothing ever feels good enough.
-I am not good with people.
See above: Introverted!
-I need to work in a job that is not customer/client facing, involves teaching or groupwork, or sales because I am introverted and not good at those things.
See above: Introverted!
-Meaningful jobs that really make a difference to people do not pay well.
The people I know who earn well work for big corporations or financial services.
-The things I enjoy and that are important to me will never make me much money.
See previous!
-Family members have abandoned me because I am too weird and unconventional.
My brother and many of my cousins don’t seem to make the same effort with me that they used to. I don’t drink and my family is Irish, they all seem to drink LOADS! I don’t like talking about football or clothes or Eastenders (UK soap opera) and I don’t like watching TV very much either unless it is something very interesting. I think that makes me strange in their eyes.
-I have low-self esteem and always will
Since about 10/11 I have suffered from low self-esteem, always worried about what people think of me, comparing myself to others and changing myself to fit in. I am better than I was and having counselling but I guess because it has been going on so long I feel I can’t change.
Ok, that’s it. Looking forward to changing these thoughts into positives!
My positive thing today: The wonderful support on here from Lottie and Jo and just reading everyone elses’s answers! Sometimes I feel like the only person with all these issues but I realise I’m really not. Thanks everyone! :)
Hi Roses!
From your list, I get the feeling that you want a change and you are a person who knows your own strengths and weaknesses. I think it’s a good place to start. You have a list here to work on. See which is the priority and take baby steps to make the changes for yourself and your son.
You are not alone. We all have these thoughts at some time or other and we all go through almost similar situations.
I wish you all the best in making the changes you need to make and may you love yourself a little more each day. It doesn’t matter if you think nobody cares. But it matters that you should care for yourself and loving starts with yourself. :hug:
Hi Asni,
Thank you for your reply :)
I think that is a good point about making some a priority. I have written out the positives, there are so many so it might be good to focus on a few at a time. You’re right, I am very willing to change, that’s why I wanted to get it all out!
I wish you all the best too! :)
Hello Roses,
From the catalogue of negative traits that you have listed for yourself, there is one very strong positive point. You are conscious of what you consider your failures. It is my guess that if you revisit them with a bit of more fairness to yourself you may eliminate a good number of them. It’s a culture.Negativity calls for negativity, and more negativity. So much so that the positive assets are also lost sight of. There is one more plus point your willingness and determination to do away with them. I’m pretty certain it is not as bad as you make them to be.Forget, about this middle class stuff and liberate yourself from any comparison. When witer comes will spring be far behind. Spring is already there just for you.
Hi P. Callychurn,
My friend from Mauritius :)
You’re right, things are not as bad as I make out. These are just the thoughts that come up for me. But I’ve written out the positives and it’s helping already. I certainly am willing and determined to change!
I love these words:
“Forget, about this middle class stuff and liberate yourself from any comparison. When witer comes will spring be far behind. Spring is already there just for you.”
Thank you! :)
Currently, my negative thoughts are about my physical appearance … I chew my nails and am overweight.
Trying hard to stop chewing … its a sometimes battle, and sometimes I win.
Enlisted support from a couple of like-minded friends regarding the weight, and we’re embarking on a weight-loss program to monitor what we’re eating, and also to get out and exercise more.
Today’s positive will be to spend the day shopping with my daughter! And Lord, please give me patience …
I am little bit selfish. Am not confident enough. anger :) :) :)
What are 3 Negative Thoughts You Carry?
1. Life doesn’t make any sense.
2. People are mostly egocentric and bad beings.
3. I will never become who I want to be.
Why?
1. I have trouble seeing the meaning of life. Why am I here? Why would I want to achieve something, while I will die in the end? I don’t understand why I have to do so many things I don’t like, why I always have to go to school when I don’t want to. Why should I? And I really can’t think of any purpose of my life.
2. In my area, people of my age are often so obsessed with themselves and with rumors and uninteresting things. They are lazy and not trying to make anything of their lives. It’s like they’re totally fine with everything that comes to their path. They don’t set any goals and choose the easiest way, so they can just spend their time laying back and watching tv or surfing on the internet. They don’t care about others who are not close to them and not at all about the world. They just live in their own small, save, rich world and don’t care about what’s beyond of that. I’m not like them.
3. I want to be a happy person. I want to choose my own path and to follow my heart. I want to meet people who understand me and appreciate me. And I’m afraid this won’t happen and my life will be a failure. I don’t really know how to achieve that life and I’m afraid my later life will be as I don’t want it to be: a job I hate, an unhappy marriage, uninteresting friends who I only will see when I’ll visit them and no goal in my life to live for.
These thoughts often appear when I’m stressed or when I don’t see any result of something I put my energy in or when I feel lonely.
Identify at least one positive thing about your day
There are no things I have to do today so I can just relax and do things I like. I finally get some time to read a book or listen to music!
I was very struck by your statement that “People are lazy and not trying to make anything of their lives. They don’t set any goals and choose the easiest way, they just spend their time laying back and watching tv or surfing on the internet. They don’t care about others who are not close to them and not at all about the world.” I have a very wealthy sister in law who is much like your statement above. I used to envy her because she was thin, beautiful, rich, and just focuses on herself all day. The last time I saw her, she was still all of the above, but instead of being envious, I felt sorry for her. She does not have a rich life on introspection and self improvement. She is not caring and generous. She is just self-focused and shallow. So even though she might have $50 million, I am indeed richer than her, because of my abilities and choices, and because of what I am doing with my life. The same could be said for you. You WILL become “who you want to be” because you are consciously working at it, unlike so many others.
Three negative things which I tend to linger on are: “why can’t I afford the things I wish for?” (because hey, I’m not materialistic, I do just fine with the basic stuff, but sometimes I wish to have some money to accomplish my dreams like traveling, taking piano lessons and so on), “when will I get out of my grandmother’s apartment and have my own place?” (living in the same room with your parents all the time isn’t a dream-scenario, really) and “I can’t seem to find my place” (sometimes when I’m with my friends or family the subjects which are discussed seem so alien to me, I usually become very quite during such moments and I ask myself why do I feel like I don’t belong, like what they talk about is of no interest to me etc. It might sound strange or maybe I’m not the only one who has felt this).
Positive points of today: I’ve finally tried out a pie recipe with cabbage, I’ve always wanted to do so and now it’s finally done :D (and yummy, too) And also, a close friend of mine will have a date today, she’s quite picky but shy at the same time, too, so it made me happy to know she’s going out with a good guy.
Lina! Its perfectly OK to want things and that doesn’t make you materialistic…it just makes you human. Wanting piano lessons is one that I could really relate with, and I hope that you get to take some soon:)
I also can relate to being in conversations and just zoning out and wondering if or why you care, so if you figure that one out let me know! Living with your parents is temporary, and while not ideal is not the worst case scenario. I moved out of my parents home when I was 17 and I have regretted it ever since. There were a lot of Ramen noodle nights that could have been a nice family dinner if I would have been able to swallow my pride.
Your positive thought says so much more about you than your negative ones, being happy that someone else is finding a little piece of happiness is a rare trait in our times and it was very inspiring to read so thanks!
I thank you, too, for such a nice, meaningful reply! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one feeling in certain ways or thinking about certain things. :) Have a nice day, Jared!
You’re very welcome and I hope you have a great day as well, Lina! :)
It is quite a hard question for me, so I needed to think about it before moving on:
1 – Always worrying about the money. We have enough but after growing up in a family where money was a recurrent subject, the lack of it, saving it, ……..it is hard to get rid of it. (negative)
2 – Never achieving my dreams by lack of confidence in myself, always thinking there are too many things, too many roads to take before I reach the place I want to be in. (negative)
3 – Doing the wrong things, saying the wrong words, not being attentive enough to others.
Good things for today:
Did some orange jam
Had a friend over for breakfast.
The sun is shining
Lovely Sunday to all!
I can so relate to the second one and a bit with the third one….
again like you pointed in your reply up there, it helps to see others in the same situation, helps you see the promise in both of you coming out as better people……..
Very true Aslo, we are all on the same boat and sometime sharing words and thoughts can help.
Take care always.
* Not good enough
* Not smart enough
* Would I be a different person, perhaps, better, if I had a complete family to grow up in?
I believe Nos. 1 and 2 are both connected to No. 3! However, 1 and 2 are manageable — I can out-talk myself on that and can remain positive. They are not true and they are not Asni.
No.3 is the tough one because I don’t know the answer. It’s negative and I am trying to heal myself from it. Two weeks ago, during the course that I am taking, the question of whether I agree or disagree with divorce came out and the students were divided into groups of “agree,” “strongly agree,” “disagree” and “strongly disagree.” I joined the “strongly disagree.” When I gave my reason for my stance, I started to tear up and got quite emotional. So, somewhere buried inside is this feeling that I felt short-changed over what happened during my childhood. It was scary and I realized that I need to heal myself, that healing is not complete, yet.
On a daily basis, I don’t think about it but certain stuff can trigger my emotions. Nevertheless, I don’t allow this to spoil my mood or conquer my happiness or positivity. I’ve learned to accept it. It’s the past, and I had no control over it and that it was not my fault. I forgive my father. He was young and sometimes you don’t think far enough before making a decision.
Identify at least one positive thing about your day
* went for my nature walk.
* had lunch with my two sisters
* had fish for lunch
The negative thoughts that I carry are: that I will be too hard to accomplish my goals, things that could happen if I don’t achieve what I want and that I am not adequate enough to do certain activities. Why? Don’t know, fear maybe and lack of confidence in myself. Also because in my mind achieve success and wealth in life is always a very very hard thing. And by default I tend to always have a plan B for everything, then existing a possibility of failure what I would do. Those are the main negative thoughts that I really hate!
A positive thing about today, I spent some time planning holidays with my hubby and it was quite exciting. Love travelling.
Diana, I understand how you feel, I have often many ideas but worry how I will manage to realize them, whether I will have the energy and capability. It has a lot to do with confidence. When we become more confident we know deep down we will do great.
Take care, enjoy a lovely day………..and think about the great holiday you will have soon.
Three negative thoughts which i carry are :
Recently i had fight with my hubby, which i didn’t expect to happen. This fight is giving me so much negative thoughts about him, our relationship and its trying to shatter the strength of love which i had towards to him. I am in the process of coming out of this worst situtation and i don’t want to continue this for long time.
My complaining or judging aspects towards everything and every one.I am still working on this. I can say that consciously i have reduced a bit of this my character.
Negative thoughts about the co workers – the fear of bullying and bitching at the back and putting some one’s work on me.
Positive for the day :I will update may be in the nite.. As it is just after noon over here….
Positivity is : I did excercise after going to home from office and had nice chat with my hubby and parents :) Feeling really great for that.
1. I keep on judging everyone and i hate it.
2. most of the time i failed to make my finishing good.
3. Fear of being failed. some times fear of society.
3 Negative thoughts…..
1) Why always me?
2) I try so hard, yet why do my goals always evade me?
3) For how long should I cling on to something that doesn’t hold any realms for me?
Not much to write about, as ever since I’ve embarked on this journey of seeking personal excellence, it has been more of dealing on right-positive thoughts rather than wrong-negative thoughts…. :D
Positive of the day Super dimanche…c’est fantastique…..hope to a lazy, relaxed, laid back day
Wish you enjoy a relaxing day……….It was all about why always me when I was younger. After starting to look at others people lives, I realized we all go through different challenges and pains and we all cope differently with them. We are all affected a way or another. knowing I am not the only one struggling helps me a lot, my thoughts have changed and now I think “others are going through the same issue, I will find a way out”.
Taka care Aslo.
Thank you for your feedback Marie, its same here for me too, when I see other people in the situation, it humbles me to see when their struggles are greater than mine, their hurts, tougher than mine…it gives me the strength to call for changes in my life’s system and that’s whats most essential ain’t it?
You too take care dear Marie :heart:
You are very welcome Aslo, take care and may the flow of life guide you in the direction of your wishes.
:hug:
For not spend more time with one person and I kind of regret. If it’s meant to be, things will work out.
Am I not good enough? Well, may be not and it’s just not the right person.
I have a feeling that one manager does not like me, too much work politics… I can’t let her to make me feel down because she does not like me. Not everyone gets along with the whole world.
Positive thing, I bought myself 2 new pillows, hopefully will sleep better.
I cook myself few dishes, no need to worry about food for the next few days : )
What are 3 Negative Thoughts You Carry?
And Why?
1.what was happened in my past,,whom played the role…
2.why i am a continuos failure
3.cant i do anythng of ma will??
4.cant there any more field other than gynae for me :cry: :cry: :cry:
My 3 negative thoughts:
1- Don’t believe in myself.
2- Want to have pleasure.
3- Worried about unimportant things around me.
Three negative thoughts that cross my mind more often:
1. I’m not good enough: as a wife, as a teacher, as a child, as a woman. I’m a perfectionist and sometimes it just drives me crazy.
2. I hate my country: I don’t mean the territory, I mean politics, economy and people. I think so because there are so many things I dislike but can’t change – and this freaks me out, I want to run away, move to another country and start it over.
3. Life is full of sorrow and pain: I seem to be always preparing myself for all the troubles which might or might not happen. This of course prevents me from enjoying what I have. I have this negative thought because it somehow helps me to feel prepared and armed for anything.
Positive thing of the day: My husband and I went to the movies to see The Woman In Black – I was so frightened I couldn’t look at the screen, I was trying to keep my eyes on my hubby’s shoulder instead :) The movie was really cool, I recommend it for those who like thrillers and horrors.
1.- Not to be able to accept, truly accept, my new “sisters” in law. I try hard but keep mentaly comparing them to my former sisters in law. I have very negative feelings from this situation and that mortifies me.
2.- Thinking I am not doing enough for my son.
3.- Financial issues…and not doing anything about it makes me feel very negative about myself.
Positive things of the day:
Reading such sincere posts, finally finishing a long due proyect and being able to dedicate the day to myself.
1. I am not doing the best, being the best, i regret e’thing i do.
2.I need miracles to make things better, and that doesn’t happen.
3. I am wasting time constantly.
I am so much like you! God willing we will little by little better ourselves no?
oh i missed the positive part. I have resigned from my current job, which was very pressurizing n less paying. Next week will be my last week of my job and i am feeling very good about it.
I seem to let circumstances control my mood. For instance, when I have a sale coming in to my online account, I feel happy but if there are no sales I start to doubt if all this worthwhile.
This is probably the one I struggle with, The strength to continue until you succeed.
1. I am sadden that I lost my nephew last summer. Why? Because he was only 18 years old and was hit by a drunk driver. He always struggled his ENTIRE life. He never was given what he deserved and I look at hime like a son, and I always wanted what was best for him, and I think looking back that I failed at that too.
2. I will never live up to my full capabilities. Why? I haven’t finished college, I have a job which I hate, and I find excuses not to do anything all day long.
3. My mother being an alcoholic. Why? Because I feel like she doesn’t care enough about me or my father to stop drinking. She’s fine with all the pain she has left on us… I am also VERY afraid I will never know my mom sober again. Year by year, I see less of her.
Positive thought for the day: i found a picture of me, my husband, and my nephew that I have been looking for over a year, it’s a really funny one we took at a photo booth. I broke down a cried real hard today when I found it.
Hi amelinda,
I feel for you. I think many of us have circumstances that are not happy.
But I believe this makes all the happy times so memorable and the memories of your nephew will always stay with you.
I think having positive thoughts will enable one to enjoy whatever the circumstance life throws at us and still be able to move on.
Thank you Cindy.
I am really trying hard to hold onto all the positive memories. I think since it has happened, I have changed for the worse. I am throwing temper tantrums, getting upset easy and have been very with drawn from my friends. I have realized this, now I just have to stop it. However, in the moment I feel like I have no control, and afterwards I feel horrible…. still struggling with this, but I want to work on it.
I feel for you.Two years ago lost my Mother and dear sister so I can understand how you feel. Time is the only cure, so be patient you will feel a little better every day. May you find peace soon.
1. I’m overweight. 2. Not good enough 3. Will never be happy.
1. My looks. I have lost weight so I’m happy about that. I’m working out, gaining muscle, my belly is getting some what smaller, but I still have an issue with my face. I have always had this issue for along time. I got lasik last year, but i still have issues with my facial features, I don’t know why I don’t like it. Ironic that I like to take photography, but not of myself.
2. Another negative thought that goes through my mind is what my wife will end up doing if and when we separate. I know I can’t control what she does, but she has such low self esteem, a control issue, anxiety issue, depression issues…. I fear she will kill herself during her deep depression stages. She has gone to therapy, was given two different forms of meds, but only took one for a few days until she gave up on them because she felt weird. The second one she has yet to take… She says she wants to get better, but the action never follows. Maybe I need to think that about her doing something to herself. She has yet to take action on other things in her life, she will most likely not do this either…
3. I’m worth more dead than alive. With the company life insurance, accidental death insurance, and my personal life insurance policy, all combined pays 7 figures.
Today has not really been a positive day. I’m not feeling well. Woke up with a pounding headache. I took a few naps, took a hot steaming shower, but I think the rainy weather is messing with my sinus which is causing the headache. I did talk to my best friend this morning so that was a positive. Because I didn’t feel well I have been a complete slacker today. The wife is not feeling well either so she is in bed (another long story behind that one). But I’m going to take one more shower then get out of the house tonight. I’ll report back later tonight or in the morning if there are any positives things come up.
I don’t think this is a positive thing, maybe it is, but more of a grateful thing. I’m grateful for Medical insurance today. The ER visit was only $75 because of our insurance. In the past when she refused treatment, and walked out of the ER, the insurance didn’t pay and we had a four figure bill that I had to pay. But grateful she didn’t walk out like the last time, and that we have insurance.
I carry the negative thought that I am not a beautiful person. Somewhere inside even though I might put on a strong front I feel trapped in this skin that I don’t like. I see my face as ugly and destroyed by hair growing and curling back under the skin. As much as women might say I have “nice eyes” I don’t believe them. Just a personal thing I guess.
I carry the negative thought that I am stuck in the current rut of life. Instead of trying to build on the positives of my life right now, I tend to overconcentrate on the negative going on around me. I shouldn’t do this, but instead should either be happy or make change.
I carry the negative thought that I am somehow suppose to run out of money each week. This is maybe the thing that hurts me the most. I don’t budget for myself and end up making bad purchases. I have tried everything I can think of, but maybe should try harder.
Positive thing of today was that I got to see an old friend Carlos. He is visiting from Jacksonville with his cousin and friend. We went to the Dali Museum here in St Pete this afternoon and had a fun time. I was able to use my membership to get one an extra free admission too!
:dance:
3 negative thoughts i carry
1. That cant get a job i want because of favouritism in the country where i am in at the moment – why? because i have been looking for a job for 6 months and the ‘regrets’ have started growing on me.. i can see people with no experience whatsoever getting jobs because of where they are coming from ( i am trying not to bring race in the sentence)
2.I am not doing my studies enough and think its too much work – why? i am a bit depressed and stressed financially and i believe this has affected my sleeping pattern and thereby also affecting my studies. I am worrying too much about my financial situation subconsciously and i am not putting enough effort as i would love and enjoy writing my essays.
3.That people are never sincere- why? I have witnessed and experienced so many instances of back biting, jealousy etc yet they smile in your face and things like those have made me so paranoid to the extent that i don’t really have good friends that i can depend on wholeheartedly and not face a problem along the way..
A positive thing about the day is that i have been able to work on some of the holiday plans i have been putting off.. they day is still young.. so i might come back and update on more positivity
Don’t loose faith or hope. Unfortunately, there are horrible people everywere; but it is your choice to just ignore them. I honestly believe that for every horrible person, there are a hundred wonderful ones and soon enough they will come into your life. In the meantime you have “YOU”, a beautiful person, therefore you need no one! You seem to be a very driven person as you continue to persue your goals no matter what. That in itself is a very positive attitude, so congratulations are in order! I think it is ok to feel down once in a while; but I sincerely believe that when things don’t go our way, it’s because God has something better waiting for us.
I loved a quote Celes posted in her screen savers site: Success is 99% attitude and 1% aptitude. I am making this my mantra, as I have to correct my attitude in so many ways.Thank you for sharing so sincerely your thoughts. It has made me think about my own life, and wether or not I am persuing my goals the way you are, despite your unfair surroundings, sleep deprivation and all…Your still driven towards your education. Way to go!
Thanks Anna I loved your post.. it really encouraged me tons…
Top 3 negative thoughts.
1. Being afraid that I will never be able to lose weight and keep it off. Why? Because I have been overweight my entire life. I lost large amounts of weight 4 times. Once I lost 120 pounds. I always gained it all back. I eat healthy and exercise now, but I am not losing weight.
2. Fearing that my husband doesn’t really care about me. Why? Because he will not do the things I ask of him, even though I tell him how important it is to me and how unacceptable his behavior is to me.
3. Fearing that I will find my son dead one morning. Why? Because he is severely handicapped and in poor condition, and the doctors said he could die any day without warning. (He is 9 years old). When he dies, which will probably be soon, I just don’t want it to be on “my watch”. I want it to be when the nurse is with him and I am away, so I won’t have to feel like it was my fault.
A positive thing about today. We found the type of dog we want, and will be locating a breeder tomorrow. I am looking forward to holding that dog.
Oh dear! I think you are a super valuable person, and an example to all of us. It is so difficult to endure a child’s illness and it takes SO much courage to accept it. I think you are an angel and anything you put in your mind you will achieve. I would like to share that the moment I stopped dieting I lost weight. I have lost 25 lbs in a year. All I did whas cut back a little in my food portions and only aimed at loosing 2.2 lbs (1Kg) a month. It was kind of easy, compared to all the diets I had tried before.I actually got used to eating less and didn’t feel deprived or “punished” or the tipical “I can’t ever eat that” horrible feeling. Started to walk for an hour 4 times a week and told no one what I was doing, sure it took many months for my “new life style” to show; but it made me feel so accomplished. I used to loose 10 lbs and gain back 20…!Perhaps you can give it a try. You are dealing with so much right now, that loosing weight shouldn’t concern you; my heart goes out to you. I will keep you and your son in my prayers. May God bless you. I sincerely hope that all of Celes advise helps you endure all you are going thru.
,
Thank you Anna. People tell me that I am an angel or an “every day hero” for taking care of my son at home vs putting him in an institution. I have not been able to believe these sentiments up to now. But I’m trying to feel more positive by knowing that I made the right choice.
Susan, Please accept my most sincere respect. You are one of a kind and a true ANGEL OF LOVE. You should feel extremely proud of yourself, What a wonderful Mother you are! God bless you every day of your life. Thank you so much for sharing your “negative ?????” feelings with us, as it makes me humble and reminds me how wonderful and pure inconditional love is. HURRAY FOR YOU!
1. Why does he/she have the most perfect lives? (negative thought)
2. Why am I so useless and unable to do anything? Why am I so dumb compared to everyone else? (definitely negative thought)
3. Why is he/she being so annoying? (negative thought)
Most of the negative thoughts I stated above can really be fixed (and I am trying). I’m jealous of how some other people seem to live the most perfect life (although I know EVERYONE has their own problems). I look at the perfection of others and compare myself to them, which makes me a lot more pessimistic (but I try not to do it). As for the third one, I can sometimes be easily annoyed by someone’s actions. That makes me think negative thoughts about them…but I try not to think like that anymore because…really, it’s tiring.
It’s St. Patricks Day! It’s raining hard here but I’m heading out with a friend to Buca di Beepo (which I never went to before). :dance:
I agree with your first thought. Sometimes we tend to look at other peoples success and compare ourselves with them. We forget that there can only be one you, and being you makes YOU unique in your own way. Their weakness might be your strength and we tend to look at it the other way ( their strength being your weakness). I have this problem at times too and it takes some self talk to bring me out of the comparison mode and concentrate on me alone and what i am what i have achieved and what satisfaction this brings to my life.
This helps to slowly diminish some of these negative thoughts and every time a comparison though comes in mind its replaced by my own success and where i am coming from.
Try it out identify the best things about you and always focus on them and what makes you special.. trust me we all are special in our own way just that at times we deny ourselves to acknowledge the specialness in us.
Good luck!
What are 3 negative thoughts you carry and why
1) That I can’t do anything
2) That i hate everything/everyone
3) It is never going to get better
Today specifically I was very conscious about my negativity! I am running a big race tomorrow and I am not prepared so I find myself keep saying things like “i have to go to bed early because of that stupid race” and “there is no way i can finish it” and then i immediately try to interrupt those thoughts with “it is not a stupid race, i actually am very excited about it” and “i will finish it and give it the best i can.” So while that doesn’t quite put me in a positive mood, it does keep me from being too overly negative on myself.
So one positive thing about today was to not get myself down about being unprepared for the race tomorrow and buying new books which always cheers me up!
Good luck with your race!
When I read your 3 negative thoughts, I wonder why you are thinking this way! May be you are going through a rough time..
After I read further, I said wow! you are on the right track and good thinking..
Well done! You are on the right track.
Thanks Dora!!
I am going through a pretty serious depression right now so negative thoughts are what I do best! It is very difficult to be aware of them and try to interrupt the thoughts to change them around but I am slowly getting better at that. Thanks again for the support!
You are most welcome!
Many people goes through similar situation. Keep in mind it is a learning curve.
You will see yourself in few weeks’ or months’ time, you are a much stronger person..
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