This is Day 15 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge held in March 2012, where we work on being positive for 21 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the tasks.
21DPC Day 15 Question
Today’s positivity question is:
Who is Someone You Dislike?
…and …
What is 1 Positive Thing You Can Share About Him/Her?
While there may be people who have negative, dislikable traits, us disliking them is not exactly all that positive either. It’s just like when we complain about energy vampires – they may be negative, but us harping about their negativity makes us no less negative than they are. While our negativity may seem justifiable from our point of view, it doesn’t make it change the fact that it’s a negative act.
The mark of a positive person is someone who is able to see positivity, even in the people he/she does not have an affinity with. My challenge to you today is to identify something positive about someone you don’t particularly favor. In amidst of doing so, you may find that – hey, maybe this person is not that dislikable after all. That perhaps positivity is more of a function of one’s perception than anything else.
Your Task:
- Reflect and answer today’s question(s). Write as few or as many words as needed to fully express yourself.
- Approach someone you don’t normally feel like talking to. It can be the receptionist, a team mate, a family member, an acquaintance, or a friend. He/she can be someone who is an energy vampire, a critical nut, a hypocrite, or has an off-putting character. Just say a simple hi, and engage in a short conversation for a few minutes, if you can. As you do that, see if you can identify something positive about this person.
- Identify at least one positive thing about your day. It may be something small or something big – as long as you deem it as something positive, it counts. If you have more than 1 thing to share, then by all means, go for it!
Share Your Answers!
After you are done, share your answers in the comments area.
If you’re doing this at the start of the day, you can post your answer for today’s question first, then work on your positivity task throughout the day, then return at the end of the day to share your results for your positivity task and your end-of-day positive reflection.
Check out other participants’ answers. Pick 1-2 participants’ answers and make a meaningful reply to them. Engage in the discussions. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days!
Look forward to reading your responses!
(Images: Happy girl in the field, Unhappy girl)
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Who is Someone You Dislike? What is 1 Positive Thing You Can Share About Him/Her?
A ‘friend’ who used to physically bully me. I had known a ‘friend’ in school who always picked on me as someone he could fool around with. As I was rather tiny physically in the past, he would push me, bear-hug me, and hit me to show his physical superiority. He would curse me and talked about me behind my back. But as we grew older, he became nicer to me somewhat but he still often treated me in an arrogant way covertly (as I was not a popular kid in school too).
I have not really kept in touch with him for a couple of years now, and I will like to keep it this way. I still secretly fear him a bit even though I know that he will now treat me in a socially acceptable way. He is the person who will stifle my potential if he is around with me. But, I will say, that there is one positive thing I find about him. He is a rather authentic person and people are actually attract to his unique personality. Even his physical bullying and practical jokes were gags to entertain people and make them laugh, which in a way revealed his spontaneity. He was at ease with himself and would often say what he wanted to say without censoring, including silly things to make people laugh.
Identify at least one positive thing about your day.
Listened to several psychology lectures by Paul Bloom and they are quite insightful.
Who is Someone You Dislike?What is 1 Positive Thing You Can Share About Him/Her?
many people i dont like and above all i dont like ma self….only thing gud in me is jst i take extra care for people….and alwiz i bocome nerd…
approached none…cz people are far from me..
positive thing about the day dat i have rejoined the challenge.. :dance: :dance: :angel:
I don’t know that I dislike people, however I can say that certain people can lead my thoughts to create uncomfortable feelings in myself. There is one particular person this happens with because I doubt her true feelings. Actually in writing that, I realize I don’t know what her true feelings are. I also know that I will not ask. I choose to not have her as a part of my life. Yet if I were to look for something positive about her, I believe she is a good mother, a loving person, and someone who does the best she can. ;)
someone i dislike, not very intense. i just not be comfortable with her presence.she is my sister in law. she other than that she is very caring, & friendly i like her these qualities.
An old classmate, when people pretend they don’t know me, I dislike them. Like they got into good position , and I can feel being looked down.
Things is I admire them, they want to choose the best people to stick with.
Positive thing: I attend a talk today, I get a huge shock by the standard of the industry. I am in a crossroad and I have to pick for a road and do my best of it. I don’t want to stay behind. I will have my best of my work and life all together!
Short post for today….
My dis-likable person is someone close in my life, not that i hate this person but its this very person’s nature, ability to be a enthusiasm-dampener, ill-plotting, self conceited attribute that really irks me…. :twisted:
A positive from this person: If it weren’t from the lows experienced from being around this person, life would have been a perfect picture (in quotes), but now, it gives me the push to strive to achieve excellence, detachment and a truly ideal, un-materialistic world for myself….
Love lot, hate not…… :heart:
Someone I dislike- I at times keep grudges on people who have belittled me or disrespected me even when the situation no longer exists. Like the kids who used to look down on me when I was a new comer at their school. And the girl who said bad things about me while pretending to be my friend in my A level.I have not met a bigger hypocrite. I also hated the prefects here at my university especially when I had just come. I didn’t know their language, couldn’t understand their accent since I am an international student, abt 3 or 4 countries south from home, scared and trying to fit in and all they could do was pick on me. They were so selfish and inconsiderate. None of them has ever been away from home unless I think on vacation. Instead of being there for us, they made us feel so bad about our experience as 1st years. One positive thing about all those people is the lessons they teach me. It teaches me to think about other people who are new in a society. I know how hard it is for them. It teaches me that there are hypocrites in this world and I should not trust easily. I also learn to be strong and not to let others bring me down all the time. I need to get some courage and fight for myself. I also want to let go of all my anger or dislike towards them. They are truly not worth my time. Positive thing about today- I attended a class yt I’m feeling really sick
I have two classmates and also a couple family members around whom I don’t like to be. I won’t go on listing why I don’t like them since this is a positivity challenge, but the good thing about them (and which, strangely, they all share) is that they never refuse to help you in case you ask for a small money loan or for a homework/project material, etc.
Today I’ve already interacted with one of those classmates. It was weird, really, but also interesting (since we don’t usually talk).
The positive thing for today is that, for a long while, I’ve seen a girl in our high school with whom I’ve never spoken before. All sorts of rumors would go round the high school regarding this girl and, even though I didn’t believe them (I strongly believe that one should refuse to listen to any rumors, trying to get to know the person instead), I wasn’t sure what to expect once I would talk to her. However, today during the math mock exam, we’ve been assigned to the same room so we talked to each other. To my surprise, she is really nice and talkative. Once more it has been proven that we should never judge a book by its cover!
A person I disliked was a former co-worker who was unproductive, argumentative, wore dirty clothing, had a scruffy beard, and rarely bathed. Re lived as a recluse, with no family or friends. Most people found this person to be most unpleasant to deal with. At one point, he was very sick with a life threatening infection (gangrene), and would not go to the doctor. I was instrumental in saving his life, but he never thanked me for it. In spite of not liking him, I did try to be friendly towards him, since we had to work together at times. One positive thing I remember was that he was a movie buff, and would tell us all about the latest movies that came out, and what he thought of them. He was an excellent movie critic, and analyzed every detail. This was entertaining and interesting.
A positive thing about today is that I finished a long term project at work, and I now have more time to focus on the things at work that I prefer to work on — the tasks that keep me in the zone of statisfaction.
This is tough! I don’t have anybody like that in my life right now. They have all gone away, gave them all a one-way ticket and won’t be coming back! :mrgreen:
If I meet anybody rude, critical, hypocrite, or has an off-putting character — I don’t dislike the person, it’s their behavior that I dislike. I’ve learned to disengage myself from the situation, smile and just walk away. They are being that way because they are suffering and fighting their own battle in the way that they know how. I’m nobody to dislike them or judge them. I am not perfect either and this is the way I want people to accept me, unconditionally.
Identify at least one positive thing about your day
* my day off.
* had my body massage and I smell like a lavender garden.
* on the way had to walk through a few shopping malls but I didn’t stop to browse. Yay! :cool:
Hi Asni,
I think we are on the same wave-length about disliking the action or behavior of the person, not the person underneath it all….
Kinda like not liking a particular message, but don’t kill the messenger type thing!
As I wrote in my post today, those with whom there just is no longer any true resonance, have fallen by the wayside. In days past, I would lie to myself, making excuses for the other person, telling myself that they weren’t really sooo bad, maybe I could be of a positive influence, and I hung out with that negativity. Me and my Pollyanna attitude trying to be a positive influence in the midst of convinced negativity. Someone said that it is easier for someone to pull you in the hole with them than to pull them out of the hole. ( Hey, how about a ladder?!!!) :D
In my personal growth journey, I have learned to focus and take care of myself (and not want or need to be rescued), and I have found the need to “rescue” others, (at my expense) has dissolved. Only a person himself or herself can decide if they truly want to do something differently. Change is available to all of us, if we choose, right? In an obtuse way, it sorta amuses me now that, in the past, I was feeling generous, even somewhat noble that i allowed those negative forces in my life. Looking back, it was not amusing. I was playing with fire sometimes, and placing myself in harm’s way. And I know what it feels like to live in someone else’s shadow.. So grateful to be living MY life today….. :dance:
Like you so aptly say, suffering and fighting one’s own battle manifests in the way a person knows how. In making informed or uninformed choices…” when the student is ready, the teacher appears.” And the teacher/teaching can come in any # of a zillion ways. Kinda like tailor made for that person.
I have clearer vision today of all the ways teachers and teachings have come to me to sculpt me into who I have grown to be. Better way to look at the whole picture as opposed to having regrets and resentments.
Really being present and really being fully aware in The Now is really key, isn’t it.
Thanks for being here Asni, and for your insights and positivity. :hug:
Have a wonderful day off, Miss Lavender Garden, you lucky ducky you!!! :D
(btw, I practiced as a massage therapist for many years, and also as a craniosacral therapist… :D Loved every minute of it!)
Thanks, Bette!
We’re on the same page on this and I love your positive attitude. I think you’ll get through this challenge in flying colors! :dance:
Take care and have a great day! :hug:
I can honestly say that there isn’t anyone that I dislike.
At times, we all display less than desirable qualities. Everyone has their strengths that others will view as weaknesses.
I do not admire those that are always right, whether they are right or wrong, it’s only their opinion that counts. One director that I work with takes this point of view, but many times her point of view is toxic and potentially harmful to the company and puts many people at risk. Often times, I feel frustrated but more so disappointed that she is unable to make changes as needed to ensure the safety of others.
Strong opinions have their place in many situations but when those individuals are so close minded that they are unable to listen and actually hear all of the points of view which could greatly improve on the conditions at hand…these are the people that I have a tough time with.
Positive for the day: My youngest daughter. She is a senior is high school this year and preparing to move on to college in the fall. Through all of the years, she has always been a very pleasant young lady without challenging Mom & Dad. She likes hanging out with old & new friends…but even her parents. She’s kind, empathetic, will make the extra time to help those around her including teachers, peers, neighbors, etc. She make s me proud.
There is this guy that I used to worked with, I really dislike him, because he is a big lier. He got involved with my friend and was lying and cheating on her constantly. I tried to point it out to her but she was so in love that she was blind.
I Know that he will never change. But he is a smooth talker and can be quite funny sometimes, and I guess very likeable to some people.
My positive thing today that I received a phone call from a person
that I really look fwd to meet :-) I have butterflies in my stomach right now……..
:heart:
Hi everyone!
It’s funny but I think I’ve kind of done this one already today! One person I don’t like is my boss. I find him materialistic, insecure and very conventional in the sense of following what society wants you to do: Consume, consume, consume.
But yesterday as I went on my run I thought he’s not so bad. And today he asked me about my son and we had a little chat.
One positive thing about him is that he is very sociable, he has lots of friends, most of whom are not half as wealthy as he is so that shows he is not judgemental when it come to his friends.
Today I will initiate another chat with him and ask him about his life. Also, if I see any of my neighbours, especially the ones I dislike, I’ll make the effort to take an interest in their lives.
Will be back with my positive!
Yesterday went well. One positive thing was that I went to the park on my lunch break and ate my food in the beautiful sun. I read some prayers I wrote myself and finished off an exercise from ‘The Artist’s Way’ book.
I cannot really think of someone I dislike.
I guess learn from that person…
One positive thing is that I was invited to have breakfast with my big boss.. I was not looking forward, but it turns out ok..
I too have an Ex-neighbor hood ,she is so glad that her son got placed in very good company and she is very proud of that.she always used to tell that i’ m not that much knowleged about his son.
I remembered a situation very well,in that she told me the name of the company (an MNC)in which her son got placed in it. And i smiled and said,”Oh,is that,Ok good to hear this”.But she suddenly told me that i may not heard the name of the company and the details of the company too..I got very angry with her.
But she is very caring about herself in health and good looking.she is a home maker and she is interested in learning driving (Four wheeler).
I learned that caring myself from her even in a busy schedule and in any age.And while i’m learning driving I scared at some instant and rembered that how she learned this and i too interested and learned it.
One of my friends,a stingy fellow ,feeling jealousy etc. ….In our frinds circle we don’t like her behaviour .
But one good thing We noticed her ,if she has cold war with someone she will talk rude during the fight after some days she will be talking with the person normally that she doesn’t fought with them before…
So I too learned that forgiving and forgetting the opponent mistake.
I have an ex-neighbor who befriended me. Who always put on a happy face and tried to act like everything was peachy. She’s severely handicapped, and thus I felt sorry for her for that reason. She has been quite nasty, selfish & rude with me for a while now. And as of right now we’ve called it quits. She accused me of using her (as a safety net) When all I thought I was doing was trying to be was a a friend–because I felt sorry for her. I feel I’ve done a lot for her, and I shared a lot of information with her about my family and my personal life and now I believe she’s passing judgement on me…All this over a Cat..My Cat! She’s tried to entrap me (I think) into being her friend. I can say the only good thing about her that I can see right now, is that she is finally letting me know what she really thinks of me. I knew this time would come, I felt used from the beginning, but like I said, I empathized with her, and tried to be her friend, when I didn’t really want to. For that I feel bad–because I’m the one who inevitably got hurt. I am praying for her, as she used to do for me. I obviously care about this person, but I need a break, and need to find out who I am and where I want to be in 5-9 years. I am maybe still too upset about the situation to find the good in it, and in her. I don’t know what happened. I think the one thing I learned, and it’s something my Dad always told me: Choose your Friends, don’t let them choose YOU! Thanks, Dad–I’ll remember that for next time.
Another Gun-Jumper here….
I’m all gung-ho and upbeat since I just wrote my positive for DAY14….have you read it?
It’s a good one! :D
So….someone I dislike, hmm..yes, I get the idea…and perhaps this is semantics or something, but…
Of the more likely candidates for dis-likability….I have made a discovery. It is NOT the person but the unkind, manipulative ACTION of the person that i dislike…. complaining, blaming, minimizing, controlling people, are not the kind of people I enjoy being around. I try to view the person looking at more than seeing them only as one and the same as their actions. Yes, it you want to know the truth, just look at the fruit on the tree. So if a person’s actions are negative, then that must mean that person is negative, but I also try to look beyond the actions to see the whole picture.
What I have noticed, is that these negative thinking, draining people have been “falling away” from my life. Whatever was working before as far as getting together with these people, or seeing them in a social setting, just does not occur any more. This could be that I am nurturing my positivity, and they are growing their negativity. I also speak up more, as my self-confidence grows, and it is no longer acceptable to me to live in anyone else’s shadow or under their thumb. In my mind, I wish them well, hope for the best, but I avoid being around such people.
I am interested in having a mutual friendship, where both people are interested in each other, not one person needing all the focus on himself/herself. It is all very simple, really. It is about realizing one’s purpose, staying the course of being “on purpose,” honoring one’s values, and doing whatever it takes to stay “on purpose.” And letting the rest go, with a blessing, even if that means parting company with someone..
I notice that I am attracting a new wave of people who are into positiivity, creativity, meditation, being in nature, organic gardening, things that I also love. This is very exciting for me to see how the Law of Attraction is definitely at work in my life.
Yes, I can see a positive thing about the negative thinking person….One person I know can be verrry charming, and can hold your attention while he tells you one of his countless stories. Both my longtime friend Mark and myself as well, have felt that “captive audience” feeling, like being held hostage. Being a charming storyteller in and of itself, however, can be a positive thing.
No longer is it okay with me to “humor’ someone, pretending that I am happy being in a situation with a person i rather not be with, especially if that person is a draining energy. That is not authentic for me. I choose to spend my time elsewhere, making better use of my energy. I can see how a lot of times in my life, I have gone along with a situation, or person, being supportive of him or her, being a “witness” of their life, or their telling stories about their life. That in and of itself may sound innocuous enough, and perhaps even benevolent, but as I take a closer look, my own life took a backseat. I was “there” for them, at the expense of being there for me.
Now i am being there for me, making better choices, and living my own life instead of just watching or listening about theirs. I still like being available for people who need my help in some way, but i am more selective. I no longer make excuses to myself about being there for people just because they need someone there. I tell the truth to myself, being clear with myself what is acceptable and what isn’t. I don’t have to pretend to myself anymore, and that includes being with people who have a draining energy. Like I said, I see the best, hope for the best, let go, and move forward with what i need to focus on.
Task #2
Approaching someone that was rather unapproachable….
When I first came into the waiting room, I said a cheery “Hello!” to the receptionist/secretary who was at her desk behind the glass partition. She did not turn her head at all. I went to sit down, thinking she was probably very busy. Never did see her, nor did she acknowledge me at all until at some point later on, she gave me a sheet to fill out some information.
I sorta felt resigned to the fact that she and I were not going to have any meaningful, however brief, exchange. After all, I was a patient, and she was a busy receptionist/secretary. When I was in one of the patient rooms, she came in when the Dr. was there, and was rather perfunctory. Again, I just chalked it up as the was it was.
Later on, when I was checking out, II asked if it was always this busy…could I come in at a less busy time, for my next appt. Again, she was curt and unfriendly, no smiles.
She explained why there was no time better than any other time.
Her words were punctuated with sharpness, and her tone was edgy.
Okay, I thought, let it go. It just “is” this way.
Well…then I thought to myself, “I’ll just give this one last effort here…”
I proceeded to say it looked like it had just been “one of those days,” and how I hoped that next time would be less of a wait than this time….
I asked her name, she seemed to have softened up a bit, and not only did she give me her name, but also another staff’s name, and I repeated both names so as to remember them beyond the moment, and said, “It is nice to meet you.”
They were both smiling at this point, and said we’ll see you next week, still smiling, and we all wished each other a good day. :D
So this is a little story of coming across a bit of an off-putting person who it seemed like we were to have no meaningful exchange at all, and it turns out that, with some patience, understanding, and willingness to hang in there, she opened up to a friendliness, even smiled! :D
Story submitted by a patient who had patience! :lol:
Who is someone you dislike
Well ! I don’t mean to be a smarty pants but seriously I cannot think of any name. Trust me, right now there is no one in my life whom I dislike. But yes about 2 years ago I not even disliked but hated a girl a lot. I mean I was like furious :angry: over her.
Now I am not going to rant about the whole saga :p . Coz I am in a hurry and mostly it’s v embarrassing for me.
So it happened that, I was in freshman year. I saw her in our chemistry lab for the first time. I was captivated by her beauty. ;) So as a poet, I wrote a poem for her. Later, I gave it to her and she even took it kindly. :) But I don’t know what happened the next day, she came to me and in front of everyone she insulted me and rudely gave back the letter. God, it was horrible. :( I was devastated. :shy: It was not like I forcefully handed her that letter at gun-point. She was all smiling and even blushing. :love: And poem was also good, or as I like to assume. :p But whatever, after that, I never talked to her again.
So after 1 year she sent me a friend request on Facebook and via our common friend she apologized to me. Now I am not an egoistic person. :cool: I didn’t care that she didn’t came to me directly but I thought what the hell! Enough is enough. So I forgave her. :)
We do not talk face to face even now. Neither she has ever tried to start any conversation nor I have ever cared about it. I don’t know maybe it’s because I am incredibly shy or it’s just too awkward.
What is 1 positive thing about her?
She apologized to me, at last.
She is very frank and friendly.
Her smile is too cute. :love:
One positive thing about the day :dance:
It’s 11:00am here right now and there are no classes in the first half. :mrgreen:
I have also written many Shayaris (Urdu poems) this morning. :)
Aw, I’m so glad she apologised to you :)
Hey Dilip, that’s great that she eventually plucked up the courage to apologize for you. I think sometimes people do not-so-kind things because they don’t know how to react to something appropriately. I can probably think of incidents when I was young where I acted poorly when I was just trying to cover up my discomfort. It definitely sounded like it was poorly handled on her part at that time, but I’m glad you took it with such grace. :D
:)
;)
I honestly can’t remember anyone who I dislike. I mean, this must be an active process, right? And in my case, there are some people who I dislike, when I start thinking about them – so I just prefer not to think about them at all. There are a lot of good features in these people, so I guess I don’t like them because some part of them reminds me of myself, and not the best part. Seriously, no one comes to my mind – which probably means that I’m a happy person, since I like others or simply don’t care :)
It’s hard for me to say that I actually dislike anyone in particular. I usually try to get along with everyone in my life, and those who I don’t get along with don’t have a place in my life. There are a few people who might annoy me personally, but I tend to not try and upset them or make waves. In some ways this is a bad thing I should stop, but in others I see it as me being nice to the unstable person just in case they one day snap and start killing randoms. The people who have gotten on my nerves honestly do it without trying to be evil. In fact my postitive thing to say is that they are after what they see as my best interest. They only want to see me happy, and even if their ideas are flawed it works well for me to at least humor them. I tend to learn a great deal about myself and others doing this, and grow as a person.
Today I went and bought food for two of my animals for the month. Pet food can get expensive but I was able to buy for the dog and cat without breaking my bank. I just hope they like the food I bought them.
Someone I dislike…my ex best friends…I had three….while I was best friends with them, I only looked at their positive sides, but as I grew older, had childish fights, and apparently did “something” (which I don’t really understand to this day) unforgivable.
Personally, after “un-friending” them (or really just keeping a simple hi/bye “friendship”), I noticed many of their flaws and sometimes wonder if there was something wrong with my head.
My first ex best friend…was…sometimes helpful, and she can be blunt about things but she’s really stating the truth (hey, truth hurts right?). My second ex best friend is really good at sports, although she complained a lot and was paranoid about the littlest things, everything worked out for her in the end. My third ex best friend is a funny and smart person, but nowadays she complains to no end about how much stress she’s going through…so some of our mutual friends don’t really like her much either.
Now, I don’t dislike my forth best friend, because she is my current best friend, but she could be a little more optimistic at times (I just thought I’d share how wonderful she is haha).
Something positive today: I exercised for the first time in months! I’m planning on doing so at least once or twice a week and gradually to once everyday.
Great job on your exercise today, May! :clap:
Someone I dislike – I would have to say one of my employees. She is an unhappy person and makes others around her unhappy also. She is lazy, delegates work at any opportunity. Complains every day. Back stabs other employees. Breaks rules, but, not enough to get terminated. She is a passive aggressive bully. AND HAS NO INTENTION OF LEAVING – as she has been there for 16 years. We think she loves DRAMA. She is an emotional vampire who sucks the life right out of you.
My positive for the day is I have an excellent lead on a new job:)
Hi Paula, how about the 2nd part of today’s question – What is 1 Positive Thing You Can Share About Him/Her?
Sorry, just realized I forgot the second part of the question – a positive – she has an excellent knowledge base. She has potential to be a contributing excellent worker.
That’s awesome, Paula. :clap:
Someone I dislike, although not in a bad way, would be our neighbour at the back. Back in 2007 I’d bought this long tree branch cutter. One of her trees was hanging over our side of the fence blocking a lot of the sun. Since she’d told me a few times I could cut any branches hanging over, which by law I could do anyway, I decided to trim those. Most branches I cut fell on our side of the fence, but a few fell on her side. She had also told me previously to throw over any on my side, as it was her tree and her responsibility. But I didn’t do that, and decided I’d deal with any on my side myself.
Afterwards I saw her over the fence trying to throw those that landed in her yard over to our yard. It didn’t really concern me, but I went to have a friendly chat with her because I thought I’d done a good job of trimming the tree. Instead of a friendly chat, she yelled abuse at me, accusing me of throwing over those that landed on her side, from my side. Which hadn’t happened of course. They just landed there, and even if I had thrown some over, it would have been because she’d told me I could do so. I remained calm the time, but she continued yelling at me. If I replied to anything she said defending what I’d done, she’d yell even more abuse at me.
To be honest, after that I was pretty shaken up. Previously I’d had a few friendly chats with her over the fence, but that was something I would never have expecting. I’m guessing she must have been having a bad day. Anyway, a few days later, and still a bit shaken up by the incident, I wrote her letter. In the letter I said that I didn’t appreciate being verbally abused like that, and that if she couldn’t speak to me in a civilised manner, I would rather she didn’t speak to me at all.
So the positive thing I’ll say about her is that she has been a perfect neighbour ever since then, and hasn’t spoken to me again in all that time. I appreciate that she has clearly agreed to avoid contact with me following my letter.
Today, I’m not actually going anywhere I’ll be able to find someone neative to have a conversation with. Well, nobody I already know. But if by any chance I see my neighbour on the street, I’ll nod and give her a smile.
Positive things today. I feel energised to get a lot done!
A co-worker…..while they go about it the wrong way…i admire their drive for success. Can’t fix peeps who are set in their ways that don’t know how to play the game!!!
My mother is the most despicable person I know. She will suck out your soul then spit it on the ground just so she can step on it. The only good thing about her is she is old and will hopefully die soon.
I’m sorry you harbor such intense hatred for your mother, td, and that you have to say such things about her, regardless of how she is like. Perhaps one day you may look back and realize that any hatred one carries in a relationship is generated by oneself – and it doesn’t benefit anyone except cause anguish to the very person him/herself and the others around him/her.
I don’t live with hatred but acknowledge that this person is toxic to not only me but every one she comes in contact with. Of course you yourself generate your own feelings but you don’t do it on a whim. And just because she is my “mother” does not mean that I should never say anything bad about how I feel about her. It’s the truth, like the old saying goes “To thine own self be true.” The benefit to me is I have expressed my true feelings and moved on.
My God! So much hatred. I am sorry td but don’t you think it’s a great burden to live with such hatred and that too for someone who gave you this wonderful life.
I am pretty sure you must have your own reasons for this and I am not going to ask but just remember one thing :
” The more you hate someone the more you are loosing something sweet from yourself”. It’s your decision.
BTW how about the other parts of the today’s question. ‘One positive thing about her’ and ‘One positive thing of the day.’
Peace out !!
I don’t live with hatred but acknowledge that this person is toxic to not only me but everyone else she comes in contact with. She may have given birth to me but I do not owe her for doing so. My life is not good because of her but in spite of her.
I can understand the feeling of hating someone so much, not my mother, my last boss was a total hag and she fell off a ladder once and broke her foot and my first thought was, pity it was only the foot.
I don’t even feel particularly ashamed looking back, but I do realize my hatred for her caused me more pain than her… It’s really not worth it. Looking back I’m beginning to feel more sorry for her than hatred, they’ve owned that studio for over 40 years, her and her husband basically don’t know any other world… and I think fear of losing it makes them more horrible to their employers when we do something wrong.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
– Buddha
I can totally understand how hard of it to let go of it, especially when we’ve been wronged, but such intense hatred is one of the most useless and self-harming emotions ever. I know, because I’ve been a victim of it several times and afterwards every time I’ve thought, it wasn’t worth the grief…
T. and M. B. Both are arrogant, smarmy twats and dislikeable people, but I admire them very much for actively putting themselves and their art out there, making a name for themselves, even though in the first person’s case the art isn’t even any good.
Also, M. W., may he rest in peace. He was a highly repulsive person, but I owe a lot to him and am extremely grateful. He died of lung cancer last year. He used to smoke a lot and always looked horribly unhealthy, on top of having a rotten personality.
Because of the information he passed on to me at our club I went on a 3 week Japan exchange where I had a fantastic time and met many wonderful people, many of which I am still in contact with now.
I met both my boyfriends on that exchange. The first, my now ex-boyfriend is still lending me the money to pay for my current Graphics Design Course, bless him. My current boyfriend is the light of my life and I love him to pieces and want to stay with him forever. Another girl on the exchange is now a good friend of mine and a very positive person.
So even though I never liked this person, I have a large number of things for which I am eternally grateful to him. I will never forget that. R.I.P.
Hi Ffion, that’s great that M. W. helped you to meet your ex and your current boyfriend. I find that some people’s roles in our life may not be to be our friend or to walk through life with us, but to connect us with the people who will. It’s as noble a cause as any other. Sometimes I think about the people who have helped me meet the great people I have in my life today, and even though those people may just be passing acquaintances whom I no longer see/get in touch with anymore, I feel gratitude to them all the same.
Thank you for your kind reply :)
It’s very true what you said… sometimes you may not like them, but they may still have a huge, positively life-changing impact on your life. Everyone has their part to play…
Yes, I never liked this person, but looking back now all I can feel is wholehearted gratefulness, because it is thanks to this person that I met the person who is the love of my life. I am eternally grateful that he opened the doorway to so many wonderful experiences. May he rest in peace. There are not many people I am this grateful to have had in my life. There are good sides even to the not so positive things in life. Sometimes extraordinarily good things…
I like everyone…not to the same degree…but I’m very fond of human beings.
Nobody is perfect due to our human nature.
Some are more positive than others.
We all carry portions of positivity… even criminals considered as bad people…they also have their bright and pleasant side…always.
I admire your attitude. It’s very true. Everyone is imperfect, but there’s a seed of good in everyone and everything, if we can only learn to see it…
Yeeeeeeeeeesssss…… Learning to see it is not always obvious…but by dint of searching for it, for positive sides…we shall see.
Tks Ffion for your nice attitude.
It’s great to hear of your fondness of all human beings, Alban. You have a very beautiful soul that shines brightly in you. :hug:
Tks Celes.
I’m very pleased to read it from you.
If you admit, if you see it, your soul is certainly as brilliant as mine or more brilliant than mine…anyway, your SOUL is BRILLIANT, Celes…BRILLIANT.
There is no one I can say that I dislike; I mean, I accept people for who they are, even if they have hurt me personally, I choose to still love and respect them. I understand that they are not part of my circle, but they are people that come to the circle sometimes. But if I think of anyone (not sure I will) I’ll write back.
I’m going to get a jump on Day 15th. I read it the email, I did something that I should not do, and after thinking about it, I remembered another person that I truly dislike because he did the same thing that I just did.
When i read the question, I thought about my wife, because of what we are going through now. But To be perfectly honest, I don’t dislike her. We just grew apart. I still love her, there are good characteristics in her, deep down inside.
What I realized I did was that I only looked at the narrow view of what has been going on recently.
The big picture, I don’t dislike her at all.
The one person that I dislike did the exact same thing with me. He only looked at the narrow view of me, and didn’t know who I was, because he did not know the big picture.
It’s my old boss from over 10 years ago. He was the department head, and when my direct manager resigned, I asked him about that position. And instead of telling me I’m not experienced enough or something like that he just said, I will never be a manager…. He had a narrow view of my abilities. Yes I was still young, but I already managed projects, worked with my co-workers on the project that I was responsible for, and we all need to take steps to climb the corporate ladder. And for him to tell me I can’t be a manager just really lit a fire under me. I proved him wrong.
There are two positive things I can think about him. One he lit that fire under me. No one tells me what I can or cannot do. Ok, maybe Mr. Police Officer, yes I am not supposed to go over the speed limit…. But when someone tells me I can’t do something, nothing gets me going more to prove them wrong.
And second thing is that I met my best friend because my boss hired her. There is no question he was impressed with her professional skills, her problem solving skills, project management skills, and people management skills. Maybe that’s why my boss said I will never be a manager because she was already for that job…
Part two and the positive thing, I will have to update tomorrow since I jumped the gun today.
Well this morning, I stopped by my Problem Child #2 in my staff to say good morning, and how was your night, and instead of saying good morning, and replying to my question, he just says is that what you learned in your training class last week….
Oh well….
Positive thing for today: I talked to my mother last night and she might come out to visit my brother and I at the begining of April.
Hey Ken, that’s funny that the person reacted that way. It’s possible that he was surprised by your nicety, and responded in that manner as a defense mechanism. But trust that your act of niceness has been received (even if he is not conscious of it). :D
No his sense of entitlement, just makes him that way.
He was in the military, because he said he wanted to stay out of trouble. he did a lot of drugs in high school… (ironic & scary the military accepted him….)
But instead of feeling proud that he turned his life around, now he thinks he saved the US against the world. And now everyone owes him…
Although I don’t think he was ever in a war. Most likely mopped the floors of the ship. I don’t know.
Hi everyone! Today’s positivity questions are about identifying someone you don’t necessarily favor, so as to celebrate the good sides of him/her. It’s a *positive* thing, *not* a negative thing (else it wouldn’t even be part of 21DPC, would it?)
So there’s no need to feel shame or resist from naming someone / a few people that you don’t favor so much over your good friends (that’s why the question was who you “dislike”, not who you “hate” or “loathe”). Even if it’s someone who irks/annoys you at times, or someone you rarely see, it counts too.
Separately, don’t forget about today’s positivity task – to approach someone you don’t normally feel like speaking to. Please read the task above for details.
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