This is Day 16 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 16 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “What is the Most Painful Thing You Have Ever Experienced To Date?“. (Read the responses.)
The most painful experience in my life is something I mentioned before (albeit briefly) in part-3 of the moving on series. It was the period when my mom was in ICU after a surgery, in 2006.
At that time, my mom had to undergo a surgery due to a complication developed since my birth over 20 years ago. I never knew what the complication was, because my parents refused to tell me. They have always kept me out of the ‘adult’ matters in the household, because they don’t want to ‘bother’ me or make me worry for no reason.
So the surgery was scheduled. Since it was in the day, she didn’t want me, my brother, nor my father at the hospital because she felt it was unnecessary. She wanted it as low key as possible. So we didn’t, in respect to her wishes. Also, the surgery was supposed to be a normal, standard procedure, nothing
So the surgery took place. It was a success, as far as the surgery was concerned.
Little would we know she would slip into a coma and enter the ICU after the surgery.
I remember crying like crazy during that time. Everything was a blur, though I remember specific bits and pieces during the period.
I remember regretting the way I treated her in the past – so rudely and abrasively.
I remember not being able to stop my tears from flowing at the hospital, no matter how much I tried.
I remember asking the doctor about her condition and not being able to utter more than a few words without my voice trembling or me breaking into tears. I vaguely remember the doctor saying that the first 24-48 hours were the most critical – that if she didn’t wake up in this period, it would be increasingly unlikely for her to come around.
I remember not being able to comprehend the possibility of her not being around – especially when she was right there at home just a few days ago, doing her regular chores.
I remember seeing her weak and frail on the hospital bed, behind the glass panel, inside the ICU, plugged on life support. Something which I had difficulty comprehending because she had always been the almighty, the powerful mom in my life.
I remember being a complete wreck. I had never felt more scared in my life. I never knew it was possible to feel that scared.
I remember thinking: “What if mama dies? What would I do?“
The episode made me realize how much my mom meant to me, even though she had been playing a silent role all this while. I had clearly taken her for granted, just as I had always been taking my father, my brother, and everything else in my life for granted.
Thankfully, she pulled through the critical stage. She came to within 48 hours, was discharged from the hospital after a few weeks, and was slowly nursed back to full health. Today she’s fine and as healthy as she can be.
Many of you graciously shared your painful experiences with us. Thank you. You may not realize it, but your sharing has and will continue to make a difference in the lives of those who read it. Your sharing has opened the eyes of those who had not undergone the same experience before. Your sharing has opened the hearts of those who share the same experiences, but have not found it in their power to move on yet.
Pain is a powerful emotion, because it lets us realize the things that matter to us in life. Without pain, we would not be able to appreciate what we have in quite the same way. Just like a rubber band snaps back with full power when it has been pulled back to the maximum, it is our down points that create our up moments. The life of a person who has never experienced pain before will never be as rich as the life of a person who has undergone cycles of ups and downs.
Don’t ever bottle up or hold back on your pain, because pain is meant to be felt in its entirety. For whatever pain you may have faced in the past or are facing right now, feel it fully. Soak in the emotion. Understand why you are feeling it. Understand where it is coming from. Understand what it represents to you.
And when you’ve truly come to terms with the incident, you’ll find that it no longer triggers any negativity. Neither will you find any resistance towards it. In its place, would be a sense of peace, acceptance and happiness.
Articles that will help:
- Is It Possible To Let Go of Unhappy Past Forever?
- Be a Better Me in 30 Days, Day 25: Forgive Someone (Letting Go)
- 30BBM, Day 26: Identify Your Limiting Thoughts
- 30BBM, Day 27: Replace With Empowering Thoughts
- Create Real Change In Life: Address Root Cause vs. Effects
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question.
21DJC Day 16
Yesterday we shared our painful experiences. As we gently accept our pain from the past, today I’d like you to think about happiness. Today’s question is:
What Makes You Happy?
What makes you smile? What do you look forward to doing the most? What do you love most about life? What brings you happiness?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Girl smiling))
![Writing a letter to your future self [Video]](jpg/celes-letter-to-future-self-video-400x267.jpg)
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I truelly believe and understand that happiness is an inside job. That it has to be inside you whereby every time,a moment of pleasure and excitement occurs, you just have to tap on the happiness button and there you have it. However there are moments in life where i can truelly say that i have felt more happiness in my life than other periods of time. The are times where i have stayed awake all nite so happy,excited and very anxious that i keep asking myself when the morning is going to happen. I currently live apart from my wife due to work requirements. She is in Africa and i live and work in the UK. We get to see each other only 3 to 4 times in a year. At this time of my life, nothing is even a fraction of comparison to the feelings of total happiness and tranquility i get whenever its time for us to see each other. Its like the feeling one gets on their wedding day. The only difference is that i get to feel it several times in a year. Days before the trip i stay awake running all videos of that moment in my head, when i get off that plane and spot her face in the crowd. She sometimes hides from me and i keep looking around wondering where she was. She then grabs me from the back and surprises me. Sincerely, as of now,this is my ecstacy moment. Getting on that plane to Africa to see my wife is what makes me happy.
This is really beautiful. While I’m sad for you and your wife that you can’t be together all the time, you’ve turned it into a blessing instead.
“Happiness is an inside job.” I like that. :-)
Very nicely written. Your feelings can be seen in your words. :)
Sharing caring loving and being. The warmth of the sunshine, a cool breeze, a deep conversation putting people at ease.
Meeting people who inspire and touch me – who motivate me to bring out the very best in myself, seeing, learning, hearing how they have developed.
Eating a meal with family and friends. The preparation, the thoughts, the ingredients and everything joining together for shared moments of contentment.
Walking in nature and admiring how strong and powerful it is and how gentle and loving nature is at the same time.
Contributing to my family and others growth, giving love, time, energy, simple thoughts.
Learning from the wisdom of others, their experiences feeling their emotions especially happiness, pain and joy.
Helping people to feel good about themselves and what they are capable of achieving.
Holidays full of joy and excitement, trying new ideas, learning about different cultures, appreciating the contrast and seeing the similarities.
Ultimately, I think my fundamental happiness is learning about myself and others and growing from the experience.
Helping others without being noticed gives me happiness. :dance:
An interesting question which I have been pondering for several hours before replying.
Usually I feel “neutral” towards the world as I always have a lot on my mind, things
to worry about or things that cause me stress or frustration. Just writing this has reminded
me to LET GO, RELAX MORE and HAVE A LAUGH!
What does make me happy are –
– Anything that makes me laugh
– Enjoying a long walk in my lunchtime or on the weekend
– Playing the piano (same as Amanda!)
– Watching films I enjoy
– Reading books that entertain and inspire me
– Being with interesting people
– Spending time with my family
– Enjoying good food and wine
– Experiencing the beauty of nature especially sunrises, sunsets, landscapes. I also enjoy
“armchair travel” reading National geographic magazine.
Writing this post has made me release I should smile and laugh more, and not
take myself so seriously. I spend too much time thinking of things that may not
work, or could go wrong, rather than being upbeat.
Hi Charles,
Interesting “I spend too much time thinking of things that may not
work, or could go wrong, rather than being upbeat.” I used to do this all the time. Then I thought why not do the opposite – think about what I like, tell people what I like about them and what they are doing, appreciate what I have. I find this really makes a difference.
All the best
Bob
1. Spending time with my kids and family
2. Cooking or doing any chore for my family
3. Learning and practising, which takes me to the next level in my life
4. Spend time with myself everyday
Things that make me happy: spending time with my family, going shopping, doing things for others, watching movies, cooking, holidays, chatting with friends, visiting extended family, vacations, amusement parks, pumpkin patches, drinking coffee and watching the sunset, fancy hotel rooms, trying new hobbies out, learning how to play the guitar, buying presents for people, learning a new language, reading a book, reading a self-help articles, blogging, researching, dancing, listening to music, working out, energy drinks, making art, Doing things for my son, listening to books on cd, going to weddings, chocolate, sodas, cookies, sweets, drinking tea, watching my shows on TV.
I also love going to concerts.
I’m a very empathetic person. I smile I lot when I’m around happy people. I am someone who absorbs the energy from the people around me and so I try to surround myself with individuals who are optimistic and cheerful.
I always look forward to walking into unfamiliar situations. That sense of fear and dread about not knowing is surpassed from the triumph that I feel when conquering the unknown. It’s the surprise of meeting new people and always learning a little bit more that I never knew.
I love to learn, so what brings me the most happiness in life is how every little experience shapes me. It either adds a little more, or subtracts a little. Ups and downs are life and I have come to appreciate taking both as equal opportunities. However, if I can influence the world around me, especially the people, I’ll try and make an effort so that we’re all experiencing ups and being happy together. I love making a difference in someone’s day, though I don’t do it often enough. Smiles are definitely better when they are shared.
Hi Jeffrey,
Excellent point “how every little experience shapes me. It either adds a little more, or subtracts a little”. I reduce my time to minimum around people who subtract and drain my energy and try to maximise the positive situations people, environment, experiences, feelings.
Bob
For some reason i’m thinking of that one song from Sound of Music but that kind of stuff isn’t really for me. I’m more into hanging out with friends, improving my skills such as drawing and martial arts, challenging myself by taking risks and going outside my boundaries or comfort zone. Listening to music makes me feel pretty good, even right now it feels really relaxing. I like being able to relax and that feeling you get when you finish assignments or errands. Also im a bit of a gamer so playing video games on my down time or watching shows feels really great, especially when I finally beat that boss or accomplish a certain goal. Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts has always been close to my heart ;)
I consider myself to be a generally happy person, and what I’ve learned is that we often tend to focus too much on the big things as bringing happiness. As a result, I’ve learned to grab moments of happiness in some pretty awful circumstances. Here are some of the things that make me happy:
-sunshine
-stormy, exciting weather
-beautiful scenery
-being in nature
-being around animals, especially dogs
-being pleasantly surprised by a new place
-looking forward to seeing or doing something
-playing with or talking to small children
-reading a good book
-listening to classical music
-taking a brisk walk or run
-getting the giggles with a friend
-having a moment where you really connect to another person
-a good conversation with a good friend over coffee
-good food and wine
-chocolate
-going to the opera or symphony
-singing in a choir
-playing Chopin for hours
-writing a really good blog post
-working on my book
-doing things to help our friends and family
-knowing that everyone I care about is safe and well
-snuggling with my sweetie
-getting lost while walking around a new city
-connecting with people of other cultures and realizing how alike we all are
I could go on and on. And actually, making this list made me happy!
Hi Christina,
I like your list and share your sentiments of sharing simple moments of happiness whenever and wherever we can.
Bob
Here are things that make me happy:
1) Holidays and vacation time off from work.
2) Holding and playing with a baby.
3) Pushing past my boundries in challenging yoga poses.
4) The sense of accomplishment I get from writing speeches, giving them, and converting them to blog entries. Escpecially if other people let me know they liked it.
5) Discovering new music that I dig
6) Reading a good book.
7) People enjoying my yoga classes.
8) Smiles and friendliness from strangers and friends.
9) Growing in life.
What Makes me happy is simple. Quiet, my kids, my lover, and people who are kind to veterans.
What makes me happy? Simple things like
• being with my children, seeing them smile
• Feeling loved, feeling that people care about me
• Playing with my dogs.
• Receiving an unexpected gift.
• Giving someone a gift
• Christmas
• Reading a book
• When I achieve something or reach a goal , even if it a small thing
• Walking barefoot on the beach
• Decluttering and seeing the results of my efforts
Seeing happy people makes me feel happy.
The list of what makes me happy is endless. Some of the common things that make me happy are:
– Breathing fresh air
– Seeing smiling faces
– Getting compliments
– Helping others and seeing them benefiting from my help
– Achieving something that I had worked hard for
– Winning a contest or prize
– Seeing neighborhood kids playing (it reminds me of my childhood happy moments)
– Hanging out with friends
– Watching funny videos, movies and TV shows
What makes you smile? What do you look forward to doing the most? What do you love most about life? What brings you happiness?
My higher self, I guess. I look forward to be guided by my higher self. But I don’t usually do what makes me happy :( . What brings me happiness, is simply, I think, just being with myself. I don’t think there is much I like, I don’t know what my passion is, what is my favorite activity, and I think it is because I don’t try to experiment much in life and because I do not allow myself to listen to my instincts most of the times. So I think what makes me happy is my higher self. I sometimes get negative, but there is this part of me which is very positive which tells me that my negativity is useless and I am glad about that. I think that is probably my higher self talking. So what makes me happy is my higher self. I believe my higher self is positive and wise. It’s optimism and kindness towards me makes me happy :dance: Of course, this is just my opinion, hehe :D
the thing that makes me most happy is to be able to help others, am see their smiles
Happiness. What defines it? For me, it’s the feeling of waking up every morning knowing that the past is behind me and that I am in absolute control of having an awesome day. It’s about seeing a stranger giving me a big smile. It’s about getting a hug of appreciation from friends and family. It’s the feeling I get when I listen to some of my favorite songs. It’s how I feel when I start daydreaming. It’s relishing in gourmet food. Laughing with family and friends over the silliest things. And simply, enjoying life–in sometimes what may be the strangest of ways.
what makes me happy is
-being independent, supporting myself
-clearing clutter and living simply
-saving money
-random acts of kindness (receiving and performing them)
-strangers who smile
-coworkers who smile and radiate positivity
-people who know how to laugh at themselves
-my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, parents)
-my niece and my nephew
-spending time with my boyfriend
-hot chocolate
-any type of cookies/sweets/chocolate
-good music
-good photography and fashion blogs
-when things go unexpectedly well
-answered prayers
-meditation
-writing
-reading
-summer weather
-naps
-a good movie
-looking up new things on the internet
-feeling gratitude for all that i have, and dreaming of all the good things to come
Thanks Karen for putting some things into perspective. When you said independence,a floodgate was open.Its like i recalled the unhappy childhood i had due to restrictions.I remember at some point i used to buy stuff and had to lie that a cousin of mine had given me because i would be bashed for misusing funds……oh and where did i get the funds from in the first place?I remember my childhood with lots of nostalgia…Like a little cell somewhere in Serbia! How i celebrate freedom!
– Today im happy because iam free and independent.I can go wherever i want,purchase anything, visit anyone(we were not allowed to bring friends or have friends visit us).
– I celebrate my faith and iam happy because i have a solace, when the going gets tough.
– I am happy for answered prayers too,they are many.
– I am happy for my resilience,iam always the comforter and the reason i chose counseling psychology as a career.I knew i could handle it. :hug:
– I am happy for people who have been there for me though hard times. :angel:
– I am happy for close relatives who give me a reason to live(iam not lucky to have a close knit -family(my mom, who was single passed on in 2004, so it me against the world!) :heart:
– I am happy because i got to have an education.This may not make sense to some, but considering my background, i guess i would be a nobody if -i didn’t make it in school. :clap:
– I am happy for this blog,it has put a lot thing in my life into perspective.Thank you Celes, :heart:
– I am happy i know my purpose(iam here to inspire and heal the world) and am pursuing it like there’s no tomorrow :clap:
– i am happy and proud of myself because even after having been to hell and back,iam still standing….i never give up. :love:
I am happy because i learnt the truth about happiness early enough….it’s a choice…..and a journey not a destination.Otherwise i would be one miserable human being.
What makes me happy… practically everything. People call me an optimist, because I always look at the positive side of things :p
But just to name 5 special ones:
– the knowledge that I had helped someone be better
– blogging on GLB
– playing with my dog
– playing piano
– writing – any form
For today, the first thing that made me happy was receiving an email telling me someone left a comment on my blog :)
Amanda,
Greetings from a fellow piano player….
I am pleased to read that playing piano makes you happy. Many piano students
think “Piano Practice” is boring and drudgery, but it sounds like you view the time
as “Making Music” and improving continuously.
Have you thought of recording yourself playing piano and putting the video on YouTube?
Whenever I search Youtube for recordings of pieces I am learning, I often get taken to recordings of children playing the pieces I am learning.
Have a great day,
Charles
I like piano – but not theory. :D
And no – I haven’t thought about that. But right now it isn’t really a feasible idea, considering my family don’t have a camera stand for a camera that can record videos :p. Just recording the sound might be possible though.
Children’s laughter makes my day, bright innocent sunny smiles. Childhood times always mesmerizes me.
Happiness in my age now, reflects being able to achieve goals, being able to have the same social standing as my peers if not higher, being able to live healthily and free from sickness, being able to be with my loved ones. And more….
Never in my goals I have mentioned contentment even though I have tried to practice this trait. Neither was generosity nor empathy.
Happiness means being selfish, enough to give some part to others (those that matter and others whom you have never known before), and a large part to myself.
Yet, those that I pursue does not make me happy. Achieveing them make me not unhappy, but I don’t feel euphoric kind of happiness where it will stay in ever after. An article I read somewhere stated something like it is a cycle; we cannot be feeling happy forever; Sometimes we experience the down times in order to appreciate the happy times more. Likewise, when you are up, don’t forget the down moments.
What I love most about life is that there are so many things to see, explore and learn. We only have so much time and space to expose ourselves to them. Whatever I do, I would like to think that i am learning something from it.
Today, I am happy just being able to realise that I am alive and standing… That I can appreciate those things i love and the possibility of experiencing those that I haven’t.
What made me happy today:
A sunny morning and an enchanting view of the valley when I woke up.
Find a new challenge that can turn into a new job.
A very hot shower.
Write an article for my blog.
Receive comments.
A fresh tomato with salt.
Help someone who asked me for informations.
Walking alone 1km from countryside to the village.
A cup of good cafè espresso.
Read few pages of a book I already read years ago.
Stumble into a friend. Twice.
An arepa with butter.
I am generally happy when I can find positives in things without looking for it.
Serendipity.
If you mean the euphoric feeling of happiness; joy, enthusiasm, etc., then I would say we all create our own sense of happiness through our thoughts, beliefs and interpretations of people, situations and events around us. It’s our attitude. Here’s an example: Today I phoned my youngest Granddaughter in Germany. She answered but then I heard a click and a recorded message (in German) said something I didn’t understand since I don’t speak German. I was really bummed out because her mother had taken her illegally (kidnapped her actually) to Germany and naturally we’re not on good terms. I know that her mother was not allowing her to speak with her Father while telling her that her Father doesn’t call. So I was thinking and feeling the worst. Was it really my Granddaughter who answered the phone? What was that message? Had their phone been disconnected and no longer in service? Was my phone number being blocked? Was her mother not allowing her to speak with me? All kinds of “stinkin thinkin” was going through my mind and I was really feeling low. Then tonight my Sister called to say that my Granddaughter’s mother had called her and mentioned that I had called earlier and that she had not allowed my Granddaughter to speak with me because it was her bed time. Suddenly my whole day brightened as I learned that I could speak with her tomorrow if I called a couple of hours earlier. See how your thinking and interpretation of situations and events affects your feeling?
Achieving something to me that is not easy.
The most vivid and emotional moment for me is when I got my car license, it may be trivial to many people but its the most satisfying experience for me.
It is the first time ever in my life something that I wanted to do for myself. All along studying and doing certain activities were the result of other’s advice and instruction to me and I just mindlessly follow, I know the logic behind it but its not because I love to do it.
Learning to drive was the first time I wanted to do it and back then I still didn’t know how, in the sense that, where do I get the money to learn driving and etc.
But somehow because of my strong desire, sub-consiously my mind found a way and things just fall in place by itself.
As I begin to start learning to drive, I started to work part-time and as and when I got paid from my part-time job, I would book a date to learn driving.
This goes on for about six to nine months and finally I was ready to go for the driving test.
I didn’t think about whether I would pass or not, my mind just wasn’t thinking about that. I just drove like I always did. There were mistakes but I was surprised when I am told I passed.
The feeling was exhilarating for me, because I had achieved something I strongly desire and wanted. The joy just overwhelmed me and I just jumped up and shouted with joy.
It was an incredible feeling for me.
When I feel like I’ve made a difference in someone’s life, then I feel happy. There are many opportunities to do it. It is simple but not always easy. For example, letting someone take my spot in traffic. My natural inclination is to try to squeeze them out and keep them from getting in ahead of me. But, if I hold back and motion them to move in front, they often smile and wave. That is easy enough to do now, isn’t it? More challenging is dealing with customer service when the person on the other end is not giving me satisfaction. I want to yell at them. But, if I can be kind and patient, I can often have them softening and working to be sure I am pleased with our interaction. Most challenging is when someone is deliberately being difficult. That is when I want to belt them in the mouth. And call them foul names. However, I can chose to walk away or stand my ground. Patiently and with good manners, I can eventually bring most difficult people around and that makes me happy.
Other times, simple acts of courtesy like thanking the waitress for bringing my water or telling my hairdresser what a fine job she did on my haircut don’t really take much time or effort. Yet the effect often brings a smile to their face and that makes me happy.
Helping my husband figure out how to do something makes him happy and me, too. Spending time playing puppets with my granddaughter makes both of us happy. LIghting a candle and listening to my favorite music both make me happy. I could go on for pages as just about everything can make me happy.
Thank you, Pat, for trying to be calm with customer service representatives, I’ve been on the customer service side of those calls, and it is one of the most anxiety producing things in the world to be trying to work out a solution with customers who can’t be as considerate. Trust me, we want to help, but the barrage of negativity those workers face daily can work up a thick shield of jadedness. :)
Attempting to grasp the mysteries of the Universal macrocosmic organism with thought, emotively the way a child does when clutching his sacred stone.
What makes me happy?
Upon reading this question, the first thing I thought was ‘what doesn’t make me happy’? :)
This is a bit of a tough question, because to be honest, most things in my life make me happy. Even when things aren’t going as expected, I will still always manage to find something positive in there. An example would be when I spoke at my dad and my uncle’s funerals. I told a funny story about each of them at their funerals which got the crowd laughing on both occasions. Then I remember a good friend telling me that by telling a funny story like that at my dad’s funeral made it more like a celebration of his life, which is rarely the case with funerals. And it made me happy sharing that story too.
So to be honest, I can’t pick any specific things in life that make me happy because it could be anything. From people to animals, birds, fish, insects, places, memories, art, music, movies, photos, the weather (even if it’s raining), technology, books, magazines, the ocean, the sky, the sun, clouds, aromas, trees, grass, flowers, fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, water, puddles, cars, trains, buses, bicycles, planes, and even something as obscure as dog poo on the street, which I will just look at and laugh. The dogs are just doing what needs to be done, so how can that not make anyone happy? :) Even funnier is when you see the owners picking it up in a plastic bag, which is required by law here in Australia.
Essentially, it’s not difficult for me to find happiness.
There are many,many little things that make me happy on daily basis.
But I’ll try to keep the answer short:
I am happy when I reach a goal, even when it’s a small one. I am also happy when taking positive action and even before that,when I am making plans and feel pumped about achieving something
I am happy when I love and I feel loved & appreciated.
I am happy when I’m thinking positive thoughts.
And I am so happy and grateful to be alive and have this amazing adventure on the Earth :)))
The simplest way to answer this question is that animals make me happy. My horses, when they’re happily munching away, or they trot up to see me when I come out, or if I’m talking to them and they snort at the right time. Or at work when one of the dogs chases a ball, or a stick, or a leaf, or walks up to me to get petted wiggling so much with excitement that they nearly fall over. Or if I see a silly cat video. Or birds outside. There are a lot of other things that give me a sense of satisfaction or accomplishment, but it’s the animals in my life that bring a smile to my face faster than anything else.
My happiest moments are spending time with my husband and my family, reading, playing the piano, taking pictures and drawing/ painting.
To answer this simple question, it turns out the answer is not so simple.
After reflecting for a moment, at first I find that achieving successful status and financial condition, will make me happy. But deeper, I finally find that, it is being accepted, being loved will bring happiness to me.
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