This is Day 16 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 16 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “What is the Most Painful Thing You Have Ever Experienced To Date?“. (Read the responses.)
The most painful experience in my life is something I mentioned before (albeit briefly) in part-3 of the moving on series. It was the period when my mom was in ICU after a surgery, in 2006.
At that time, my mom had to undergo a surgery due to a complication developed since my birth over 20 years ago. I never knew what the complication was, because my parents refused to tell me. They have always kept me out of the ‘adult’ matters in the household, because they don’t want to ‘bother’ me or make me worry for no reason.
So the surgery was scheduled. Since it was in the day, she didn’t want me, my brother, nor my father at the hospital because she felt it was unnecessary. She wanted it as low key as possible. So we didn’t, in respect to her wishes. Also, the surgery was supposed to be a normal, standard procedure, nothing
So the surgery took place. It was a success, as far as the surgery was concerned.
Little would we know she would slip into a coma and enter the ICU after the surgery.
I remember crying like crazy during that time. Everything was a blur, though I remember specific bits and pieces during the period.
I remember regretting the way I treated her in the past – so rudely and abrasively.
I remember not being able to stop my tears from flowing at the hospital, no matter how much I tried.
I remember asking the doctor about her condition and not being able to utter more than a few words without my voice trembling or me breaking into tears. I vaguely remember the doctor saying that the first 24-48 hours were the most critical – that if she didn’t wake up in this period, it would be increasingly unlikely for her to come around.
I remember not being able to comprehend the possibility of her not being around – especially when she was right there at home just a few days ago, doing her regular chores.
I remember seeing her weak and frail on the hospital bed, behind the glass panel, inside the ICU, plugged on life support. Something which I had difficulty comprehending because she had always been the almighty, the powerful mom in my life.
I remember being a complete wreck. I had never felt more scared in my life. I never knew it was possible to feel that scared.
I remember thinking: “What if mama dies? What would I do?“
The episode made me realize how much my mom meant to me, even though she had been playing a silent role all this while. I had clearly taken her for granted, just as I had always been taking my father, my brother, and everything else in my life for granted.
Thankfully, she pulled through the critical stage. She came to within 48 hours, was discharged from the hospital after a few weeks, and was slowly nursed back to full health. Today she’s fine and as healthy as she can be.
Many of you graciously shared your painful experiences with us. Thank you. You may not realize it, but your sharing has and will continue to make a difference in the lives of those who read it. Your sharing has opened the eyes of those who had not undergone the same experience before. Your sharing has opened the hearts of those who share the same experiences, but have not found it in their power to move on yet.
Pain is a powerful emotion, because it lets us realize the things that matter to us in life. Without pain, we would not be able to appreciate what we have in quite the same way. Just like a rubber band snaps back with full power when it has been pulled back to the maximum, it is our down points that create our up moments. The life of a person who has never experienced pain before will never be as rich as the life of a person who has undergone cycles of ups and downs.
Don’t ever bottle up or hold back on your pain, because pain is meant to be felt in its entirety. For whatever pain you may have faced in the past or are facing right now, feel it fully. Soak in the emotion. Understand why you are feeling it. Understand where it is coming from. Understand what it represents to you.
And when you’ve truly come to terms with the incident, you’ll find that it no longer triggers any negativity. Neither will you find any resistance towards it. In its place, would be a sense of peace, acceptance and happiness.
Articles that will help:
- Is It Possible To Let Go of Unhappy Past Forever?
- Be a Better Me in 30 Days, Day 25: Forgive Someone (Letting Go)
- 30BBM, Day 26: Identify Your Limiting Thoughts
- 30BBM, Day 27: Replace With Empowering Thoughts
- Create Real Change In Life: Address Root Cause vs. Effects
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question.
21DJC Day 16
Yesterday we shared our painful experiences. As we gently accept our pain from the past, today I’d like you to think about happiness. Today’s question is:
What Makes You Happy?
What makes you smile? What do you look forward to doing the most? What do you love most about life? What brings you happiness?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Girl smiling))
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I feel happy when I achieve what I set out to achieve. But all too often, I get frustrated as I don’t seem to meet my targets very often. Perfect example – I wanted to catch up on 5 days of journal writing tonight and yet I’ll probably only complete this one task. I often find I end up doing things I do not want to be doing – I need to take better control of my time and life.
I also feel happy when I do things I enjoy – such as going to the cinema (providing the film is good of course), going for a walk (one of my faves but one I do very rarely), going out for a meal with my fiance and friends or family.
I also feel happy when I am surroundings I feel comfortable in or enjoy – such as a night in, visiting the parents, and the in laws, being in the countryside, and being in a super tidy and clean house.
Another tough question posted here. However, after some thinking and realizing on my current efforts in finding pleasures in simple things, I guess I am happy when:
-. I meet my family and relatives in Indonesia
-. I call my parents in Indonesia
-. I reconnect with my old friends wherever they are
-. I see my flowers bloom in the garden
-. I successfully bake something
-. I accomplish so much work in a day or have a fruitful day at work
-. I win or am nominated/selected for something big! For instance: I was nominated for a blog awards, my pre-wedding photos were featured in the local newspaper and chosen as the Bridal House’s advertisement banner, etc.
-. I get the chance to travel, sightseeing or shopping
-. I date my husband
-. I do not fight with my loved ones
-. I am not sick
-. I receive comments on my blog
-. I just receive my salary or bonus
There are so many things that make me happy and smile, and I completely agree with most of the great suggestions already listed in comments. Anytime I’m truly engaged in the moment and removed from petty worries I feel a degree of happiness and contentment. Off the top of my head though here are the most common scenarios where I feel happiness:
– seeing my daughter and spending time with her
– talking or just spending quiet time with my wife
– being around family and friends, particularly at big events like Christmas
– those simple, peaceful moments when life makes sense, such as after I’ve meditated
– helping other people, even in a small way
– getting into a great book or movie that I’ve been looking forward to
– meeting new people (such as at a party or at work) and really clicking with them
– silly jokes
– being in nature
– favourite TV comedies such as Arrested Development, South Park, Parks & Recreation, Modern Family
– going for a morning walk listening to a podcast and just taking in all the details and beauty
– watching Vlogbrother videos on Youtube
– playing guitar or the piano
– sometimes just completely random moments such as when I’m bringing in the washing or finished cleaning up the house, and a wave of peaceful contentment will come over me
Other Happy People!!! And of course overcoming adversity and struggle. Success!
I like or may be I should say that I love smiling. A day never ends without a smile I gave. It’s in my nature. Life is a great experience and my smile comes from within. Meeting people makes me smile, seeing a nice view, hearing a song I like, hearing something funny, …
I’m always looking forward to learn more to broaden my vision and knowledge, to travel and meet people to get to know how they live, to listen to music, to dance, to horse-ride. What I really do look forward is to go horse-riding and gallop on the beach with my daughter.
What I do love most about life is that it’s in our ability to be resilient, to see the great things life has to offer, not to be afraid of changes but accept them as an intrinsic part of life. Life is hopefully not static so we shouldn’t be either.
That it’s nice to be voluntary, not to be afraid to speak and say what we think, what is our opinion and always respecting the others at the same time.
I’m happy when I make some progress, I’m happy when others progress also. This brings me happiness.
What makes me happy? What makes me smile? When I did what I adhere to. What do I love most about life is when I know I can follow my heart but it is not easy, there’s always a little me tell me to face with reality and other people voices. When my family is happy I’m happy. When people around me I found out they are fake or hurting me I can hardly smile again to them, there’s always a “question marks”, “knot” in me towards them. When I can go through all the problems, overcome and comprehend it and a moment of awakening. To do or live better in life, appreciate what I have. Happiness is peace, giving, imagination.
I’ve been sitting with my laptop for the past hour and I have yet to come up with an answer to this question. I know “I don’t know” is not a proper answer but I can’t think of anything right now. I guess when I do feel happy it is not something I am concious of.
Doing things I love and see people smile ^_^
This is a great question because i can feel positive energy flow just when i start to think about the answer.
So there are many things that make me happy, i am a hedonist and i try to enjoy as much as i can everyday. So things that make me happy vary from life details to very big events or moments in life.
So to start with big ones. Having a great partner and spending a lot of time together, enjoying, sharing, growing, smiling, loving each other.
My family and family reunions make me happy, all positive events my friends and family experience make me very happy. When i help a family member grow or just when i share a meal with someone i love.
Spending time with my friends make me happy , especially when something i say inspires them or when they say something that inspire me.
It makes me happy when i see people truly happy, strangers or acquaintances never mind just that genuine emotion of happiness and love is contagious.
Nice breakfast of coffee when i wake up next to the person i love. Morning kisses and hugs in bad. Cooking for someone i love, and cooking in general.
Reading a good book and getting new ideas and being inspired by it, than sharing that book for people who are interested. Watching a good movie, just fun, or good quality or inspiring, or just funny that all makes me happy, and when i share that with someone i am more happy.
Meeting new and interesting people and sharing ideas and experiences. Laughing and enjoying.
Great weather makes me happy, traveling, exciting new things, nice clothes, nice food, kind word given or received,sunshine, moonlight, crystals, money, shopping, nature, world, getting through problems and winning, facing fears and getting my energy back, being inspired, smell of bakery,fresh fruit in the summer, my dogs, and all nice animals, dancing, loosing weight, being beautiful, accomplishing something with my own effort, completing my goals, sharing my experience, giving a good advice, being inspired by quotes and everyday events, manifestation of law of attraction, getting exactly what i need when i need it, finishing something strong, seeing someone i haven’t see for a long time, writing this challenge, talking to nice people, taking a day to rest, activity, celebrations and holidays, cakes, candy, good food in general,decorations…..and many many other things this list could go on forever but here is a little fraction of things that make me happy.
There is nothing that gives me happiness and satisfaction than making my loved ones happy. The thought of my family and friends and all the love they have shown me because of my health since i was a kid gives me a reason to be happy. I easily get angry to be honest but very little things make me happy too. I love music, it calms me down like nothing else in this world. Then the thought of knowing that God loves me and knows my difficulties makes me very happy and confident. :)
Being able to save a dog’s life and assist in adoptions makes me happier than most anything. Knowing they have had hard lives, are inside the shelter suffering from lack of space and love, wanting more than anything to have a home, just kills me. When I post on Facebook and find a home or foster family for a puppy or dog, my heart practically sings. A smile wouldn’t even come close to expressing how happy that truly makes me. A dog saved from “the needle” is the best feeling ever.
Seeing my family, friends, and boyfriend happy makes me happy. When they have an accomplishment, or a funny story to tell, or something good that happened to or for them that day, I am happy. I don’t take a single day with any of them for granted, and I love more than anything to see them alive and well with a smile on their face.
Looking around and seeing how far I’ve come makes me happy. I have moved out into a home with my boyfriend, maintained it and kept it clean and well-organized, adopted a puppy, cooked countless delicious meals for us, and accepted about 5 or 6 jobs that I juggle and love every second of. I believe that when you follow your heart and do what you love, the money will follow. Every morning I wake up thankful for all that I’ve got, and knowing all of the things I was blessed with and being conscious enough to be thankful for them makes me smile from ear to ear.
Lots of things make me happy but these are my favorites: walking along the beach looking for shells, reading a good book, knowing I have a date with my husband, and my very favorite thing, snuggling in the middle of my kids while we watch a movie.
I am happy knowing that my hard work bore fruit. When my children performed well in their studies I felt so happy. I told myself all that hard work saving and making both ends meet was worth it!
I am happy too, when my work that has been painstakingly done to the best that I could gets recognized. When things that I have worked on turnout well beyond my expectations, I get so happy.
What makes you smile?
I got to be honest, I am a person that rarely smiles. Since I never was that social as a kid I never developed smiling as an act to do when I am happy. Sometimes I am extremely happy but people ask me if I am sad because I don’t make smiling expressions, unless I consciously force myself to. I only truly smile when I am excited. In fact, I smile so much I gotta hold myself from squealing in happiness . My hobbies(especially writing my novels), having fun and unconditional love are things that make me smile.
What do you look forward to doing the most?
The day I can be having fun doing what I like and proving to others dreams can come real.
What do you love most about life?
The never-ending bittersweet changes and lessons life brings along with it.
What brings you happiness?
The feeling of excitement I get when I write/finish my novels and am expecting new goals, knowing I have real friends I can be grateful and trust in, spending quality time with the people I care for, eating, achieving something I’ve always wanted, experiencing new things, being loved unconditionally, knowing my friend and my mom are happy in their love lives right now, being alive. :D
What makes me happy?
Being in nature.. i enjoy going to the parks, taking walks in the forest, picnics at the parks.. there’s something about all that greenery and fresh air. Seeing pretty flowers, buying them for flower arrangements and receiving flowers makes me happy as well.
Thoughtfulness and kindness makes me happy. Receiving a note, word of encouragement is good.
Having good conversations that connect with people also makes me happy, learning about others through conversations also makes me happy.
Humour makes me happy. Having laughs at work over silly things and inside jokes, making fun of each other and ourselves good naturedly. it’s nice when people stop taking themselves so seriously, and just be candid and laugh at things.
Music makes me happy, especially by priscilla ahn- my absolute favourite songstress now :)
Going to art shows, and flea markets to see and soak up the atmosphere also makes me happy. Also, painting. There’s that great sense of satisfaction when I sit down and put my mind to paint a picture… mixing the colours and spreading the pain with a brush.. observing the subject and drinking in all its shapes and sizes. love it!! havent painted in a while…..need to set time for it!
and of course, talking and spending time with my boyfriend. whether its on a lazy saturday afternoon, or an outing that involves us cycling on the roads to explore the area. walking hand in hand, little shows of affection.. and the hilarious conversations we have.
talking to my sister – she’s overseas for now but we try to text and skype. hanging out with my good friends over simple good food and beer. texting often to check up on each other. meeting up with my aunts and cousins in the extended family. all these make me feel loved – i guess that’s why it makes me feel happy.
ultimately, freedom to do what I want and acknowledging that I have a choice to live my life, and cultivating my self-belief also makes me happy. So thanks to personal excellence for playing a part in helping :)
What makes me happy? Coming home and being received warmly, having sincere hugs and being loved. Having support in what I do, in my dreams in my desires, having help for the hard times, the mistakes and help for letting go. Felling good, appreciated and loved, that makes me happy.
Some of things that makes me happy:
-Fasting. Funnily, fasting makes me happy. I normally have a light breakfast at 7:00 AM and I don’t eat anything til about 3:30 in the afternoon.
-Smiling. Smiling, seeing babies smile and seeing anyone smiles makes me joyful. smile! (:
-Programming. The joy of writing a script that does something useful.
-Blogging. Sharing my advice with others to help them grow.
-Growing. As I said in day’s 9 answer, growing is my passion in life.
-Being alive!
I’ve wrote a post about things that makes me happy called 101 Simple Pleasures. Make sure to check it out and share your own.
What is it that makes me happy? So many things in life can be covered by that thought, feeling, emotion…..happiness is such an interesting idea….and comes in varied forms. What makes me truly happy are the little things. Someone stopping along the side of the road and bringing me a cutting of the first spring flowers, when I have left for the day for someone to stop by and clean my kitchen/living room/etc., someone sending me a message on facebook that the positive things I put on are important to him and he looks forward to them and searches them out when he is having a bad day. This things do not mean much to anyone else but to me they bring a touch of joy, which is my happiness….there are so many more but these are three that have happened lately. I just wish my happiness was not so fleeting….
What makes me smile? A joke, a child’s face, my son, a message from loved ones, a compliment, etc
What do I look forward to doing the most? I look forward to realising my passion, to building good relationship with good people, exposing my ability more and more.
What do I love most about life? I create my reality :dance:
What brings me happiness? A hug, a change in others’ lives, being grateful
Writing, dancing, volunteering, seeing friends, Christmas, making people happy, the smell of cut grass, snow days, when the sky goes all hazy and pink in the evening, lazy summer days at the park, exploring, travelling, meeting new people, baking, new shoes, eating good food, learning Italian, trying new things, curling up in front of the fire when it’s cold outside, Starbucks Mocha, when I discover a new book I love, time with my boyfriend, yoga, the smell of salt at the beach, swimming in the sea, freebies, receiving letters, vintage fairs, finishing a project, putting bunches of flowers all around the house, gazing at the stars on a clear night, photographs of old times…..
…lots of things that make me happy :)
Ahh this is going to be such a happy post! I’m so stressed out with all the things to do, but this will be a good moment for me to smile and tackle things! I decided to just dump all the “happy things” here.
Sunshine, warm blanket, oranges (eating one at the moment), hot chocolate/mocha that’s made of belgian chocolate, having a job you love, volunteering, all the awesome, amazing, inspiring people around me, supportive family and friends, handwritten mails, travels, boarding pass, world map, opportunities, books and bookstores, hands to type with, eyes to see, ears to hear, mouth to speak and sing, nice walk on the beach, great food, spending time with loved ones, conversations, every moment I’m alive, accomplishing, living the life…. and journaling. This challenge has been an awesome one :)
Yay for all the happy things in life! :)
What makes me happy?
Achievement. The feeling like I am doing or have done something worth while is what makes me happy. Feeling like I have done something important to improve my life or somebody else’s life. Whether it’s drawing something especially well, doing well at work, losing a couple pounds, or just about anything else, just making some kind of improvement or reaching any goal is what makes me happy.
Also, humor. Humor is very important to me. I have a lot of respect for smart comedians. I always have. When somebody I know makes a funny joke I think I take note of what that person said more than most people. I will sometimes play a joke over in my head and try to dissect why I think it was funny. Also I am always very secretly proud of myself whenever i make a joke that makes a group of people laugh.
seeing my daughter happy and healthy, singing and dancing.hearing her say mama and having her pull my face to give her a kiss and a cuddle. That’s what makes me happy.
Hmm… well, since a main goal in life is to elevate myself to the highest level of consciousness I can find, I like things that nudge me along.
Rapid progress — I love making rapid progress. At heart, not for any better reason than that it’s fun — it tells me that I’m in the right zone, living life as I’m supposed to live it. (I hold back way too much.)
Making other people happy — a lesser part of me wants to be a tough guy who doesn’t care much in this department, but I’ll face it: I do love making people happy. Ditto for animals.
Outdoors — take me to the mountains and I’m automatically happy. I just am. Without overthinking it, I love being in nature. Even just stepping into the woods behind my house lifts my mood.
Winter — I dislike freezing as much as the next guy, but the cold rejuvenates me a bit and I love winter activities.
Family — I did not always have an entirely cohesive family growing up, so now that I have my own, I’m happy to try to do things right.
God — I know that God has blessed me in many ways, and personally. Thinking about this makes me happy.
NB: “Happy” has become society’s catch-all word for positive emotion in a sense, and that works for a question like this. If need be, I could drill down and place other labels on my feelings here, too, but I’m just going for gut answers.
A fine cup of tea. The aftermath of a successful party I have hosted where the guests have left the house happy and well fed and I savor in the joy of the evening and do not mind at all the washing up. Solving a problem that has been bothering me for weeks, getting that aha! moment and seeing my brain get into gear. Viewing mountains from near or far (I love mountain ranges, especially the craggly, ice/snow capped granite peaked ones). Receiving a package in the mail, but not a bill (get plenty of them, so they are commonplace whereas packages are rare and therefore special).Hearing my husband sing or watch him do little dance steps (those are the indications that he is happy). Seeing my hubby happy truly makes me smile and deep down happy. Wearing my hats (I have a nice small collection of unique hats I have stumbled upon over the years). Listening to my favourite programs on the radio or audio transcripts of my favourite movies that take me to far away places. Hearing good news from a friend or family member. Finding something I have been searching for a long time (be it a book, a piece of clothing, a toy, etc.) and knowing that I can afford it too. Listening to Elvis Presley or Rick Astley (don’t ask me why, but they bring me out of my moods). Receiving complements (helps with my confidence too), but it makes me feel nice and appreciated. I look forward to my bike rides into work each day and my bike rides home. I look forward to spending time with my hubby. I look forward to seeing old friends to catch up face to face, especially after long periods of letter writing and/or phone/skype calls. I love most about life is how beautiful the night and day skies are, how they change, how they stay the same. Hunting for the new or old moon or the international space station or meteors gives me lots of joy.
I am happy when I am productive in a positive way especially when I know that I did it so good for myself, for others, and I had not disappointed God because this gives me an assurance that my life is peaceful and productive.
What is happy? Generally I make the best of what’s thrown my way and am probably more aware of what makes me unhappy as those feelings are the ‘out-of-the-norm’ ones. Wow, I do sound boring. I don’t go out and have huge laughs because I’m usually too tired from working too hard. Yup, imbalance, I know …
Happy for me is a bit of a fuzzy feeling. You feel good, relaxed, contented, you struggle not to smile, you feel as if you fit exactly into your spot in the world.
OK, so when do I feel like this?
When we have a family tickle torture!
When we picnic out in nature.
When we’re out in nature.
When I decide to not have work and the stress thereof clutter my enjoyment of the moment.
When i’m actually living IN the moment and not thinking past and future.
When I see a beautiful sunset or sunrise
when I think about life in a positive manner
When my family is happy
When I can see the fruit of my labour
When i can see that I’ve done a job well
When my home is sparkling clean
When I’m on top of a project
Lots of things make me happy. They go as such, NOT in order of happiness.
Sharing time and preferably a meal with a friend, someone i really and truly care about.
Learning about things which actually matter-eternally
A beautiful girl- inside and out.
Just a beautiful person….on the inside
A smile
Traveling with a real purpose
A beautiful scenery
A solid conversation
A great book fills me with joy. Solid truth in the book, some quotes, tit bits of wisdom are great.
The joy of sharing these with others is wonderful.
Hanging out with friends, and feeling total connection with their thoughts and ideas is great
Chilling on a nice Sunday afternoon at my favorite coffee shop, enjoying a great frapachinno, and a solid conversation with a stranger are great.
Getting a scope of work completed at work successfully is always great.
Poetry
Volunteering- Seeing that i can effect someone’s life in a positive manner.
Comfort for the future…and hope
Playing with the little cousin
Good advice from mentors
Breaking my comfort zone…well that doesnt make me happy..but the satisfaction out of it does.
Feeling loved….and safe…and cared for…and comfortable….and SAFE. That makes me really happy.
A good workout session
Good mexican food.
Friends
Random acts of kindness
People on the same wave length as i
Challanges….in the right direction
True smiles
Solid emails from people i care about
Head pats
A real hug!
Food. Haha, a lot of different things. Writing poetry and stories make me happy. And being around people who I know love me, and care about me usually makes me happy. :heart: :dance:
What makes me smile?
Funny story/ jokes, false anger displayed by my parents or friends, teasing my folks to a tolerable limit, happy/funny moments,…
What do I love most about life?
There is so much to do and discover in life, it holds so much hope and opportunities, superb people to be around with … what more? Yet to find a complete answer to this.
What brings me happiness?
Speaking to dear ones, blogging, spending time with pets, morning walk, eating out, outing, valuable advice, cool wind, light music, dance, hug, when I courageously advance, good night’s sleep, when I imagine a beautiful future, a warm smile, when I see my past friends come back to me, when I am good to others and for myself, when I am able to achieve rising above the obstacles, when I get a help un expectedly, mine and others goodness,…
What do I look forward to doing the most?
In the article on Are you a self help junkie? Farnoosh inspired me tremendously by her comment and I thought why cant I too follow same policy where I identify my habits and work on. This is what ia ma going to do in future and stick to my goals, …
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