This is Day 13 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge held in March 2012, where we work on being positive for 21 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
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21DPC Day 13 Question
Today’s positivity question is:
What are 3 Good Things about Receiving Criticisms?
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Most people think of criticisms as a bad thing. Some people are even hesitant whenever I *ask* them to give me feedback about things they don’t like – evident when you read the round-up posts at the end of every challenge.
But why? Criticisms aren’t bad. They are only bad when you think of them as bad. Criticism, when offered constructively, can be the best self-improvement tool you can ever get. In fact, when I read feedback, there are times I skip straight ahead to the criticism portions, because they provide the most revealing and actionable information.
What are 3 good things you can identify about receiving criticisms, over not receiving any criticisms at all?
Check out the following related-content on facing critical people:
Your Task:
- Reflect and answer today’s question(s). Write as few or as many words as needed to fully express yourself.
- Think over the criticisms you received in the past.
- Have you ever received criticisms before? What were they about?
- Did you take to them objectively, or did you see them as a personal attack? Did you feel hurt, insulted, or affected by those criticisms?
- Reviewing your reply for today’s positivity question, how can you now see the criticisms in a different light?
- Identify at least one positive thing about your day. It may be something small or something big – as long as you deem it as something positive, it counts. If you have more than 1 thing to share, then by all means, go for it!
Share Your Answers!
After you are done, share your answers in the comments area.
If you’re doing this at the start of the day, you can post your answer for today’s question first, then work on your positivity task throughout the day, then return at the end of the day to share your results for your positivity task and your end-of-day positive reflection.
Check out other participants’ answers. Pick 1-2 participants’ answers and make a meaningful reply to them. Engage in the discussions. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days!
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1.Sometimes we may not found our self about the negative things or anything that is barrier to our growth.
After critism by any one we may able to realise that.
2.If we miss that person who critise us in every thing we may miss some jokes and seems to be interesting that we already know what will they tell about our activities.
3.They help us to get rid of those bad or negative qualities as soon as possible.Even if we found out those negative things in ourself and tried to change that means we did’t change ourself within a short time period,But if that was happen by others critism we will do it in very short time period.
If they critise me even though i didn’t made any mistakes , never care about that and will enjoy their reaction for my every activities.That is all. :dance:
I’m a little behind in posting comments!
Good things about criticism:
1. If it is valid, you can use it to improve yourself, your work, or whatever the criticism was directed at.
2. If it is not valid, it shows you something about the person doing the criticism, that you may not want to associate with them anymore.
3. Valid or not, polite or nasty, it shows something about your interactions with people and you can learn from that.
Re: my third point, I had a really negative interaction with a distantly related family member that could have been avoided if I had checked things out carefully and reviewed what she had already said and reminded her of her promises before acting on what she had said. From that I learned that you need to be extremely careful around her and that she says things she doesn’t mean, both when she’s angry and when she’s making promises. I also decided that I needed to spend more time in ANY interactions checking to be sure that I understand people correctly and that they have not changed their minds about something without me realizing it.
I’ve been criticized for the way I take care of my husband and his medical needs. According to some people I should be doing more for him. Sometimes I feel mean for not doing more, but he tells me that he prefers to be as independent as possible… So the criticism about me needing to do more is not valid. But it did make me think about how I am as a caregiver. But I also realized that this was a really negative person and I didn’t need that negativity in my life, so we see very little of them anymore.
I was told that I looked like hell. Gee, thanks. Unfortunately, it was true. I had gotten so involved in caregiving that I was neglecting myself. So I started to pull myself together again and *then* I realized that I had begun a downward spiral toward depression and that criticism helped me stop it.
Positivity for today: I already put some things in the Day 14 post. But here’s another: I have more than five positive things in my life, and I am very grateful for them all.
Nice video you have on youtube
Three positive aspects about receiving criticisms are: (1) you can improve yourself; (2) you become self-aware; and (3) you can teach someone else what you have learned.
The criticisms I’ve received in the past have been about being controlling of my younger brother by my dad. At that time, I took it as a personal attack and I felt hurt because he had given me advice all along to advice my younger brother and watch out for him. However, after the fact, he was actually giving me advice to let my little brother learn on his own because he is not so little anymore (he is 20 years old) because he is too set in his ways and I am too so we are never going to agree and see eye to eye on many things. Now, after today’s positivity challenge, I can reflect on how I am more at peace with myself that I cannot control his actions, regardless of how reckless they can be. I support him as an older sister but I am not babying him and holding him step by step because his life is his own journey, and I will just worry about my own life.
Something positive about my day is that I went running for four miles with my dog at the beach. I love feeling the ocean breeze and letting my dog meet so many people and dogs along the way. Good physical and social exercise for him.
3 Good things about Criticism
1. It provides feedback that you can use to measure your beliefs about yourself against that of another person. If it is constructive then you have an opportunity to make a change and grow.
2. It provides insight about how an individual feels about you or your work. Again, providing an opportunity to make a change.
3. It may bring to your attention something about yourself that you were previously unaware of.
Today’s positive: Worked with dad for a bit this morning to fill in cracks in the pool deck. #FatherDaughterBonding :)
What are three good things about receiving criticism?
First of all, criticism acknowledges you and what you are doing. Acknowledgement, whether at work, home or school, is very important. It helps you feel like you are contributing to something in some way, even if it is just a small gesture. I think we all feel better when we are acknowledged for something we do or how we act.
Second, criticism lets you see yourself in the eyes of others. How are you treating people? How well do you do your job? How do you affect other people? The result may not always make a person happy, but you need to be aware of these things.
Third, criticism helps with learning and self improvement. It isn’t supposed to be negative or hurtful, so don’t take it personally. Everybody continues to learn everyday, and everybody always has room for self improvement.
I was lucky and landed a job in my job field when I was still in my first years of college. I remember receiving criticisms from both my new job, and from school. I often times took criticism very personally. The criticisms I received were mostly just a review of my performance, and my boss and/or teacher telling me where I could improve. At first, it made me feel like I was failing as a student, and as an employee. As I got older and more experienced, I learned to take those criticisms and actually use them to better myself or my performance.
Now when I get criticism at work, or elsewhere, I really do try to look at them objectively. When my boss shows me where I can improve at work, I do it, because I love my job, and I want to keep it. If I am doing something wrong, I want to know. I want to be able to do my job correctly, because it makes me a valuable employee.
One positive thing about my day: I accomplished a lot at home after work today. It felt like the start of my spring cleaning, which I oddly enjoy!
Three good things about receiving criticisms:
1. If you think about them, it may help you understand another person’s perception about you.
2. Criticisms can provide a growth opportunity if you choose to change something about yourself.
3. It can start a discussion with someone else that can improve your relationship if handled correctly.
Past criticisms:
1. A lot in the past few years: I’m not as fun as “other person”. I’m not as sexy as “other person”. I don’t take care of myself as well as “other person”. Why can’t you be like “other person” and not care. I don’t do enough. I’m not supportive. I don’t know how to relax.
2. Because the relationship with the person giving them was very strained, and because I was being compared to other people, I did take them as a personal attack. I felt very hurt by them and didn’t think objectively about them. The more I thought about them, the worse I felt about myself. But after time has passed, I have gone back and looked more closely at them. I do think there was some nuggets of truth to them. I’m not interested in becoming like someone else, but I do want to be the best “me” possible.
3. Criticisms can be good things, especially when they come from people who have your best interests in mind.
Positive things about today: My best friend calmed me down, and reminded me what was really important to me, because I was having a bad day. Sat in the sun after work and let go of the stresses of the day and enjoyed the nice weather! Made a phone call to someone I hadn’t talked to in awhile that is going through a hard time, just to check in and see if there was anything I could do to help. Spent some time talking to my daughter, no agenda, just relaxing and talking.
1) Gives you food for thought if you will. You can take into consideration if someone is being critical toward you, could you improve on the area or is it something to do with them. If it’s bothering you, it may very well be an area you need to improve on.
2) I would much rather a person be honest with me rather than give me praise for something I’ve done wrong. I don’t want someone to constantly praise me and not see that I can improve on things in my life.
3) At times having another person point out something you aren’t doing well can help you to realize that you need to improve on an area that maybe you never noticed before.
I had my boyfriend being very critical of the time I spend doing other activities and neglecting household chores. At first I was defensive and hurt, as well as angry. After thinking it over, I realized that I do need to balance my more fun activities in with my house cleaning and it ended up being a positive thing after all.
For the most part, I appreciate criticism when it is constructive criticism. I think it gives you a different perspective on something that you may not have realized on your own. It encourages open-minded thinking and new ideas. Finally, it encourages you to learn and grow in ways that may have not been possible without that criticism.
There are situations where I don’t think criticism is appropriate. Some may disagree with me, but if criticism is coming from a person who is deliberately trying to be cruel or knock others down with belittling words, I don’t consider that helpful or worth my time. Too many times, I have been verbally criticized where the other person is only trying to hurt me. For example, my mother telling me that I have made the biggest mistake of my life by getting married to someone who was not HER choice for me, or my art teacher telling me not to bother studying fine art because I will never be an artist. The only good thing that came from these people putting me down was that I was strong enough to prove them wrong. Still, there are much better ways to give criticism without making that person feel worthless. Did I take this as a personal attack? Absolutely! I’m still mad about these situations. :angry:
My Positive Thing:
Well, yesterday I was feeling pretty tired from a long day of work, but I got to enjoy a little bit of the warm sunshine yesterday evening before the sun set. Looking forward to a week of beautiful weather! :D
That is so true! Some people are not really giving “constructive criticisms” but more putting down your goals and dreams and making you feel like you’re out of your mind if you are trying to attain xxx goal. I’ve had that situation before with one of my best dearest friends but I took it with a grain of salt and put things into perspective by allowing her to have her own opinion of my situation and not letting that dampen my goals.
Criticism? I like it a lot when it’s honest and gives me guidelines on how to improve! I wouldn’t like people to pretend everything is okay and then act obviously different! Almost as if they had confirmation bias and they don’t want me to become better and prove their initial impression wrong…
I can’t think of any recent criticisms, though I’ve asked. Which is a bummer, cause I know I’m not perfect yet! In the past, I think the one I heard most was “you should look more feminine”, which is actually far from construstive criticism; just some men living out their gender stereotypes. What I picked up from there though was that sometimes it’s fun to experiment with looks and I should not feel that people won’t take me seriously if I work on my looks. Which is a stereotype I actually have myself – that women who spend too much time on their looks can’t do anything else well. Which is certainly true for many of them, sadly *feminist rage*.
Positive yesterday – met some friends; went to an event where a pro-vice-chancellor was speaking. Nothing spectacular.
What are 3 Good Things about Receiving Criticisms?
1-The people have respect and tell it in your eyes and dot go around saying it behind your back.
2-The critic is about something, be it a fair or not there is something there you are being criticized about and it may be something you would like to know, at least how do the others see it.
3-It gives you the opportunity to improve your self, or defend the thing you are being criticized about.
Think over the criticisms you received in the past. Have you ever received criticisms before? What were they about?
Of course I’ve received criticisms before about all kind of thing starting from the way I am to the thing I do ore believe to.
Did you take to them objectively, or did you see them as a personal attack? Did you feel hurt, insulted, or affected by those criticisms?
Well that depends. It depend of who said that, how he sad that and what was it related with. In general I’m OK with criticisms if it made in the write way.
Reviewing your reply for today’s positivity question, how can you now see the criticisms in a different light?
Well considering that I am a little critical my self I think I realized that I have to be very careful with the way I express myself so that the other understand what i’m saying and don’t take it for bad.
The three positive things with receiving criticism are for me :
1.Opertunity to improve myself
2.The freedom of doing what I want with it, If I don’t want to receive it it´s not mine
3.Look at it, think about it, consider it and learn from it !
What are 3 Good Things about Receiving Criticisms?
1: If you receive criticism and you listen and reflect on yourself, to act and make improvement. You prove yourself you as a humble person and eagar to make progess.
2. You found yrself a good mirror, people who criticised you are not hypocrites. Everyone like sugar coated words but they dare to face you and make a point. They want you to improve and work on yrself. You found yourself a good friend.
3.Only when you know your blindspot through others, you truely know yourself. You are not stubborn, you see yourself in more points of view, and you become more well rounded person.
The criticism I received recently is I tend to ignore people around me.
There are so many works and plans and dreams. I wanted to do, but I just didn’t not make it an actual plan, targets and time limit and actions. My hand was stuffed with things and I did not connected to my fds and boy fd. Another criticism is I think to much without talking actions. :rolleyes:
You know what recently I just met a guy and offers me a stay in France so I can learn painting in a short course. I wanted to quit my job very long time ago, was wondering should I just take a leap and go.
What do you guys think?
Back to the time when I receive it, I wasn’t really refecting, I know some part of it is true but just think it may be a person attack. But now I can see they are really true and something I should reflect on and take it in heart.
I did pay for an event to go today, its a charity event that helps the people living in cage home, like a family of 3 living in a room just able to put a double bed inside. I really wish the govement can give them a better living condition.
Also, I wanted to say that the picture heading this question, speaks to me……
In the palm of my hand, are the answers of my heart. :heart:
I pay attention to what my heart KNOWS as true.
In doing so, I live my best life, authentically, deep down to the core of me.
:heart:
THREE GOOD THINGS ABOUT RECEIVING CRITCISM
1. Receiving criticism can be a blessing in that it reveals useful information to me that I had I would not seen otherwise. In this way, I can get alot of mileage out of criticism in that it can help me grow and learn.
2. Receiving criticism can keep me on my toes regarding keeping my ego from running wild. I can be grateful for that safeguard against complacency.
3. Receiving criticism can be a gauge for seeing how much I care about how/what others think about me. If the criticism is coming from a constructive, loving place, I am grateful that person cared enough to bring the criticism to me. If the criticism is really about the other person, and not about me, then I can hone my skills on being centered in my confidence of who I am, and not react to their “stuff.” I need not defend or explain when it comes to being true to myself, a self that I have come to know and love. :D :heart:
THINK OVER CRITICISM RECEIVED IN THE PAST
I have received criticism before, and many criticisms were relating to my being overweight, … a lifetime of criticism having to do with my weight, my diet, how i looked, how I moved, my size, etc. As a child and teenager, those comments were very hurtful and demeaning, (personal attacks), and I felt “less than,” “not good enough,” and humiliated. There was nowhere to go away from my body, so I had a tendency, my body and I, to withdraw, and be less social, which caused me to spend much time with myself. Fortunately, there were always people in my life that I felt loved and accepted me unconditionally, so I had that to fall back onto when I felt battered and feeling so unloved.
It took me quite some time to not be affected by hurtful criticisms relating to my body. I came to realize that hurtful comments were about those making the comments, not about me. There hasn’t been any year in my life that I wasn’t on some kind of reduction program or food plan. I have always been challenged with weight related issues, and demonstrated copious amounts of discipline to control my body weight. Whether the criticizers knew about all that discipline and focus or not, there were always derogatory comments and criticism. Fortunately, I have become more confident, self-directed, and I have grown so much in knowing who I am. I am clear about healthy boundaries and not taking on others’ burdens, and not falling into the trap of being scapegoated. I am grateful that there have been supportive people in my life, to sweeten an often difficult path to tread.
Other criticisms came mostly from parents and siblings, and alot of that criticism was about their own fears and insecurities and need for approval projected onto me. This always played havoc with my mind, since I had my own fears and insecurities and needs for approval. That, along with “people pleasing,” which was something that took the focus off me, and sought to win the favor of others, which led to living in the shadow of others. Fortunately, I have learned to live my own dream, and be on purpose, and enjoy myself every moment on this journey…MY life, LIVING MY LIFE, instead of living through another person.
Criticism does not define me, but it can help define me, sorting out what is about me, and what is not. What I can improve upon, careful not to fall into complacency. What can I learn from any critical comments that I hear myself saying? I embrace being honest with myself, and hug to my heart, “To Thine own self be true”….. :heart:
POSITIVE FOR THE DAY
Today I enjoyed a nice decrease in my weight (almost 3 lbs), and I felt an increase in my energy.
With that energy increase, I did some housecleaning, and that started my exercise activity for the day. After the housecleaning, I exercised with the incomparable Steven Tyler (youtube), and really got a good work-out using resistance bands, stretches, and other moves. :dance:
What are 3 Good Things about Receiving Criticisms?
– Criticism – as long as it’s constructive – is great! Let’s see…
1) It makes you more aware of whatever task or characteristic is being criticized, and self-awareness is always a good thing.
2) If someone cares enough to constructively criticize you, that’s a big compliment!
3) Criticism is a great opportunity ti improve yourself or the way you do something.
Think over the criticisms you received in the past. Have you ever received criticisms before? What were they about?
– Oh yes, many times. That’s just part of being an art major in university and a freelance illustrator for several years. So yeah, a good portion of the criticism I’ve received has been art-related and much-needed. I’ve also recieved criticism in yoga, weight-lifting, etc. to correct my form or move in a more efficient way. On a more personal level, I’ve received criticism for being too negative, judgmental, and pessismistic.
Did you take to them objectively, or did you see them as a personal attack? Did you feel hurt, insulted, or affected by those criticisms?
– I tend to take the first two types of criticism very well. I’m eager to improve most aspects of my life/activities, so I look forward to constructive criticism. I don’t take more personal criticism quite as well, though I try to be objective about it. I think, whereas I see fitness or art-related criticism as an opportunity to get the perspective and knowledge of another person, personal criticism feels more like the person doing the criticising is only doing so for his or her own good. For example, if I complain a lot, and someone tells me that I do, I usually take it as, “So and so thinks it’s annoying when I complain so he/she wants me to stop.”
Reviewing your reply for today’s positivity question, how can you now see the criticisms in a different light?
– Even if the criticism is given in a purely selfish way, I can still see it as a way to improve myself so that i’m more pleasant to be around.
Identify at least one positive thing about your day.
– Today has been kind of a rough day… But I did a little better on push press this morning at Crossfit.
What are 3 Good Things about Receiving Criticisms?
1. Hearing criticisms reveal your blindspots. When somebody gives a criticism they are just making their opinion known to you. They always thought what they said but now they are simply saying it out loud. If they had not voiced the criticism you would just be ignorant to a possible area of improvement
2. Criticisms make you more grounded in yourself. Sometimes people share criticisms which you should really think about and take action on. Other times criticisms can be very petty. In those cases where somebody criticizes your dreams, personal taste, or hobbies it’s best to ignore them. Receiving that criticism and being able to shrug it off can make you more centered and less concerned about opinions of others.
3. Criticisms let others know they can open up to you and share information even if it may not be positive. It’s better that people see you are strong enough to handle critical remarks. Just imagine if you ran a company where your employees would withhold vital information from you because they don’t like the way you handle criticisms.
I have received criticisms before. I remember a time several years ago when someone I know mimicked my voice and mannerisms when I became upset at something. I took it as an insult at the time. I thought he was mocking me (he was). After it happened though I realized that I could come off to people as someone who was easily upset at little things and who became angered easily.
I started a new schedule at my workplace today. That is the positive thing that happened to me today. Usually I go to work at 3 pm and leave at midnight. Now I work from 8 am to 5 pm and I am much happier with this schedule.
This was hard for me, as I rarely receive criticism now. I used to receive lots of harsh criticism, but I’ve changed how I am around people who like to offer that, and now… gee. I can’t remember the last time I got any. That’s strange. I’ll have to be on the lookout for it.
Three good things about receiving criticism:
1. It can point out a blind spot, and allow you to correct your behavior.
2. It keeps you connected to the people and activities that should be your focus at the time.
3. It can give you someone else’s viewpoint, and they may be likewise influenced.
Criticisms I’ve received in the past:
Ouch – too many, from my mom especially, and my abusive ex-husband – about everything! My looks, and how I comported myself, and my decisions. I got hypersensitive, and took everything Very Personally, and had real problems gaining a happy medium. Now, I don’t feel particularly hypersensitive, but since no one is giving me criticism, I don’t really know! Gosh.
I was deeply hurt by those criticisms, not because of the content necessarily, but because of the harshness of the delivery. That, and that some of the criticism was directed at my character faults, in a very mean way, with no direction given as to how to overcome them. It was a losing situation.
My last boyfriend had a great saying for that, which others have brought up: ‘Consider the source’. If the source of the harsh criticism is an unkind, selfish person, that will come through. If the source of harsh criticism is usually kind, maybe they need our help at the moment. If the criticism is constructive, and comes from a kind, informed person, then we’d do well to heed it!
Positives for my day:
Lots and lots!!!
– I took the morning off work, and spent it with my sweetie! :heart:
– There were 2 conference calls during which I got to make business happen, which is terrifically exciting
– I helped people do good science
– I saw an old friend on the bus and got to catch up – and he’s happy!
– I got 5! items in the mail that I had ordered – it was all presents, and all for me! :dance:
Wow. Big day.
1. It let’s me see how I can improve and make myself be even better than I was.
2. I get to see another view point that I haven’t seen before.
3. hrmm….to see if the person is truly helping me become better.
I have definitely received criticisms before in the past and they weren’t the most pleasant things I had to hear. I felt insulted, hurt, my ego dropped…that was how I took criticisms back then. Since then, I tried to take in the criticism in a “professional” way and not become too affected by them (except to fix my mistakes).
Hmm, today I….chatted with an online friend ^_^
Criticism – the word even sounds cold and harsh, doesn’t it? Onomatopoeia aside, criticisms can help us grow, keep us humble, and open up a whole new box of ideas we may have never even considered.
For me as for any I gather, it’s always been about who is giving the criticism. Not even so much How it’s being delivered. If it’s from someone I trust and admire, it’s highly likely that I will truly investigate their angle, even if it’s in private, later on. As an artist it’s imperative that I remain as open as possible while holding true to my own voice and method of craft.
Positive: I had a really loving and open exchange with my partner today, and it’s made me breathe a bit better in general.
It lets us know what others are thinking; it keeps our ego in check; it helps us to reflect on our behaviour and take possible action to improve things.
I’m a teacher so I receive criticism quite frequently from students, and I’ve learnt not to take it to heart and to see it as more revealing of the other person/people rather than a personal problem. For example, one student told me that my lesson was boring – but that’s not necessarily true, his level was too low for the subject studied and he shouldn’t have been in the Advanced level class. Maybe it would have been interesting and engaging for someone with the right level. I also have a class of teenagers who told a colleague that they thought I was weird and that they laugh at me during lessons – but I’m weird to them because maybe they’re not used to my teaching style, or maybe they have never met another person like me, — again their criticism of me reveals something about them. And so what if I’m weird? Any other person who isn’t like you could be thought of as weird. But the world would be boring if we were all the same.
I try not to take criticism as a personal attack but with any criticism I think it’s natural to be upset about it. But you just have to reflect on it objectively to understand what the other person was trying to say. Also I believe that true criticism should be backed up with examples and not just completely unfounded. The teenagers who think I’m weird – how am I weird? give me an example? and if you can’t, it’s not something I can work on improving.
Initially those criticisms did annoy me and upset me slightly, but as a teacher, you can’t let criticism drag you down or you would never get up and teach again the next day! If it’s something you can work on, try to change/improve it, if not, just let it go and don’t listen to people trying to make you feel bad.
Positive things about my day: I realised that I have finally recovered from a sore throat I’ve had for about 6 weeks! :) I also Skyped my mum, my flatmate cooked a delicious (vegan!) lunch, and I made hot chocolate with brandy in it :)
1. Criticisms make you see yourself from someone else’s point of view. Criticisms make you stronger and wiser. Criticisms help you to grow into the person you want to be.
2. Think over the criticisms you received in the past. :cry:
1. Have you ever received criticisms before? What were they about?
Yes, about a variety of things. Many were abusive in nature from my mother and ex-boyfriend. I also received some during 30DLBL, the day when you have someone give you feedback.
2. Did you take to them objectively, or did you see them as a personal attack? Did you feel hurt, insulted, or affected by those criticisms?
In my younger years, I took every criticism as a personal attack. I became anxious and depressed because of it. I think it made me into a very sensitive person.
Today, at age 28, I can handle criticism a lot better. Sometimes I still feel a ding but I try to remind myself of where the comments are coming from (a caring friend/spouse vs. a bully).
3. Reviewing your reply for today’s positivity question, how can you now see the criticisms in a different light?
I try to keep them in perspective. I only let negative criticisms affect me in a way that make me want to better myself.
My Daily Positivity:
Nothing puts a smile on your face like cute puppies! :love:
Receiving a message and engaging in a heart-felt conversation with someone you didn’t expect to.
Three good things about receiving criticisms:
-You get an outsider’s view of your work or actions, which can help you understand how other people see things.
-Similarly, someone’s criticisms can help you determine if you are both on the same page. For example, one of my instructors recently criticized a paper I turned in because she felt it didn’t address one of the topic points. Through email dialogue with her, I realized that I had misunderstood what she was looking for to address that item. It helped me better understand her expectations of me and my work.
-Hearing criticisms can help you overcome your fear of rejection. Experiencing the criticism and then moving forward reinforces our strength and makes us more confident that we can handle rejection in the future.
I have certainly received criticisms before. I think many of the criticisms I’ve received were more about the other person than about me. So, yes, I have been able to take criticisms objectively. Some criticisms really are personal, if the person is criticizing you to be hurtful. I have been deeply upset by these types of attacks in the past but today I try to realize these are not comments that are constructive and I shouldn’t spend a lot of time dwelling on them. Reviewing my response to today’s question, I get definitely look back on some of the criticisms I’ve received and take something new from them. A lot of the positive changes I am making in my life today (and by doing this challenge) were inspired by criticisms I’ve received.
One positive thing about today: I learned about a browser extension that can help me manipulate the content I see on Facebook, which will help me filter out things that negatively affect my thoughts and feelings. I am very excited to use this tool to improve my experience and help make Facebook a resource to engage positively with friends and family.
1. Yes i have received lots of criticisms from my mom, friends and now from my Hubby :)
2.I don’t take them as personal attack or being insult some thing like that. I know that friends and my hubby and others are criticisms only for my good sake and to rise and achieve more in life. At my small age, i used to take it personally the criticisms, but later on when i think about it i now understand that those criticisms made me strong and courage in handling any situation and look and take any result in a positive manner.
3.Based on today’s’ Question and my answer to that, i feel that criticisms that which are made with true intentions in order to improve me and by right person, i will definitely take it very seriously and accept the same and it try to work to over come the same :)
Positive for the day:
Got up early – Did my yoga practice – including that i did practiced breathing exercise!!! :)
1. Criticism mean that you still have to learn, that you are still working for your best in this world. As I read somewhere, that until you’re not dead, you still have something you have to accomplish on this earth, you are still useful.
2. You start a self-conflict which may lead to discoveries about yourself, as said above, see yourself in a true light.
3. The more criticism you get, the thicker your skin is against it. You will understand, that the people that say those things to or about you are either unhappy with themselves or they really care about you becoming better.
I don’t recall much criticism to myself in my life till now. I guess that I get some once in a while but I just don’t take it to my heart. Most of the criticism I get from my mother but I know that she actually wants the best for me, so that’s a way a lot of parents want to educate their kids.
So, you see, I don’t have much to say about it, but my advice would be:take criticism as a message for further development. And if somebody say’s something like – you can’t do that – show that person that – yes, you can! ;)
And the positive thing of today:
I bought new sneakers ;) haha and a shirt with a chichuachuas picture on it. That’s the law of attraction anyway – i want a dog, so I’m gonna tell it the world.
1: Gives you the ability to handle the truth. We are not always right. You need to have a different view of the situation. Whether we like it or not, we need to have another view. Everything deserves the right to be viewed in 360 degrees.
2: Getting from A to B, the shortest distance may not be the best. If you can’t deal with the other alternative, then maybe you are not the best person to get from A to B, and you can C your opportunity pass you by.
3: No matter how much we thing we are perfect, we are not. Critiques get you just a little closer to 99.9999%
I’ll have to get back on the positive thing for today. I’ve been on a phone conf since 8:00 am. It’s 9:30 and I still haven’t got to my presentation point. The day just started. I can say it’s nice day today weather wise.
Positive thing for today. Even with my crazy meeting this morning, and other meetings through the day, I still got to IM my best friend. She’s feeling a little down today some from last night, but even if it was 10 minutes total talking to her, she said she felt better.
Also look at that on Number 3. I am not perfect with my spelling…. Something to alway work on.
Wow I completely missed Part 2 of the question of the day. Thank you my accountability partner for pointing out my mistake. This is a form of Criticism, as it’s stating the truth, and it’s meant to improve my reading skills/understanding of the question. So I can take it objectively and learn from it.
I think the one that sticks out the most from the past is from my wife and how I’m not a good enough Husband to her. At first I was like how in the h*ll am I not a good enough husband. I worked hard to earn a living. Provided a very nice roof over our heads, we use to take vacations to nice places, I don’t drink or do drugs. I have never cheated on her, or abused her in any way. I bought her things out of the blue because she made a comment or looked at it a few weeks/months ago. I was just floored that she would say I’m not a good enough husband…. In the past few months when we fight, and she brings this up I start to think about when she cheated on me. Does she want a husband like the one she cheated on me? So it’s only natural to take the comment as a personal attack.
But then I had time to think about it, and the support from my best friend. But all those things that I did, yes it does not matter to her. She would rather have me a home instead of working late into the night or working at home at night. Not go to vendor dinners/events, business trips, etc. She would rather have me at home with her. Those gifts are nice to haves, not required. I think she is right. She wants a husband just like the guy she cheated on me with. Just a average Joe. A Monday-Friday 8-5 worker. Drinks a beer, and watches football. Who knows what else. But that is not me. I will never be that way. So yes I’m not a good enough Husband to her. That’s the truth.
And here is the were our values and goals will never be in line. I like to work hard to earn my pay. I like to buy gifts for family and friends. I like the “stuff”. And it’s something that I can not change/will not change about myself. And I know there is someone out there that will appreciate what I like to do. So everyday I am taking that comment more and more objectively and less and less as a personal attack.
Lately I can take most criticisms at face value. If that is what they truly believe in, then there is nothing wrong with it and I learn from it.
Yesterday my best friend was not feeling so great about herself. She felt more bad about herself because she felt like she was being used. I kept reminding her that yes, it’s sad the one person who should appreciate everything she does for him doesn’t. But I also told her, the things she does, whether it’s for him or someone else, are values that she holds very close to her heart. She wants to be supportive, she wants to be who she is, not live a lie. So yes it may feel like she is being used, but that person is not going to be with her much longer. Her family and friends still see the true values that she holds close to her heart, and they are the ones that are going to be with her for a long time. And when ever she is ready to open her heart to that special person in her life, that guy will have the same qualities that she has, and she will never feel used ever again.
She said she felt better after talking to me and I know she is honest so I believe her. And it was only a short time I got to talk to her, but to know I helped her out even if it was 10 minutes, made me feel good about myself. It made me appreciate the friendship that I have with her, and grateful of the support from her when ever I need it.
1. to improve and grow.
2. to know that there are others who care.
3. to understand what others need and want.
positive thing:
-did not complain despite encounter with problems.
– had good lunch with friend.
-good workout.
– steady and calm.
I’m really bad at criticism, so this is something I’ve thought about a lot :) Here are my thoughts.
1. The way we think about ourselves is hardly ever accurate – and humans are social beings; if we think we’re doing something well but it has a negative effect on others, we’re not doing it well at all! Criticism means that although we’re probably completely unaware of it, someone thinks that what we’re doing can be improved. That person is external, can only see the effects of your actions, not the causes, and so they have a far more objective view of it. So criticisms give us insight into how our actions are really affecting others, and enable us to see them more objectively.
2. Criticism can be hard to receive. Receiving it enables us to practice keeping an open mind; even if it’s hard to hear, to objectively assess: ‘does this person have a point? If I respect this person’s opinion, what should I do about it?’ Not only can we improve our actions, we can also improve the way we respond to so-called ‘negative’ happenings in our lives by thinking them through rationally and not allowing our emotions to take over.
3. It can improve our relationships with others. Criticism from a trusted friend, taken well, is a wonderful thing. Maybe the person criticising you was really worried about doing so – and when you can respond positively, they feel that their opinion matters to you and that you’re going to do your best to improve your behaviour/actions/whatever they were criticising you for. That’s a really positive thing for a relationship :)
In terms of criticisms I’ve received in the past, I’ve tended to get very defensive, which isn’t at all positive for the criticiser to deal with. If I’d just taken the time to think about what the other person was saying, instead of getting defensive and emotional, I would have realised they had a point! Definitely, criticism needs to be dealt with one way or another.
One positive thing about today? A coffee with a friend scheduled for tomorrow, and a lecture by author Jung Chang on what happiness is and how it can be achieved this evening! Very appropriate to this challenge :dance:
What are 3 Good Things about Receiving Criticisms?
When receiving critics, many people tend to give excuses for themselves to prove that the opposite party is wrong about their critics. I have to admit that, sometimes I do the same too espeically towards the person that I don’t like.
However, that is the time that I think back on my relationship with the person. Why do I don’t like the person? Anything bad happened before between us? How can I improve my impression towards the person?
Besides, that is the time for me to reflect back on my work carefully, see if I really did that bad? How can I improve my work? Or, is there any way to enhance the work?
The last part, I should reflect back on my inner heart. I gave the excuses to protect myself. I should stop giving so many excuses for that. I should maintain a positive emotion in my life. I should let myself to be a happy person, instead of getting angry because of the criticisms.
To me, these are the 3 aspects that I should have reflected when I receive criticisms.
Think over the criticisms you received in the past.
The most impressive criticism that I received was from my ex-boss in a conference call last time. In front of many people, my ex-boss said that I was the one that did not follow the process in system issue support. In fact, I was not informed about the issue, so I didn’t know anything about that, until my user told me that the issue was urgent and will be fixed soon. =.=”
Identify at least one positive thing about your day.
Today, I managed to practice zither for 2 hours! ^^ Now, I’m preparing for tomorrow’s zither class~
3 good things about receiving criticism:
It’s an opportunity to change.
It can open me to an array of new ideas – things I hadn’t previously considered.
It helps me see someone else’s point of view.
Yes, I’ve received lots of criticism over the years. For example, my husband told me that I spent far too much time trying to please others rather than doing my own thing. I did not react well and chose to act all hurt and offended for a couple of hours. I then realised he was absolutely right. I never did get round to thanking him though!
I think that the way criticism is given is important – constructive criticism is great but criticism can be destructive too, especially when you are a child and powerless.
One positive thing: This morning I met up with an elderly lady who was a friend of my mother’s and we had a long chat about how much we both miss my mother. It felt sad but good.
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