This is Day 8 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge held in March 2012, where we work on being positive for 21 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the tasks.
21DPC Day 8 Question
Today’s positivity question is:
How Can You Overcome Your Stressors (from Day 7)?
(The things you cited on Day 7 bring you stress because you have not fully overcome them yet. What can you do to start overcoming them today?)
Your Task:
- Reflect and answer today’s question(s). Write as few or as many words as needed to fully express yourself.
- Implement what you wrote in #1. As you face the stressors from Day 7, whether today or in the future (and they will resurface, because unresolved obstacles will always be in our life until we overcome them), apply the solutions you identified today. Remember, baby steps are the way to go.
- Identify at least one positive thing about your day. It may be something small or something big – as long as you deem it as something positive, it counts. If you have more than 1 thing to share, then by all means, go for it!
Share Your Answers!
After you are done, share your answers in the comments area.
If you’re doing this at the start of the day, you can post your answer for today’s question first, then work on your positivity task throughout the day, then return at the end of the day to share your results for your positivity task and your end-of-day positive reflection.
Check out other participants’ answers. Pick 1-2 participants’ answers and make a meaningful reply to them. Engage in the discussions. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days!
Look forward to reading your responses!
(Images: Happy girl in the field, Stress)
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Hi,
To get my dream job is my major stress giving because i still now i’m trying for that not yet got that job.
I will improve my performance level and skills.I’m encouraging myself that i should not get tired of trying this.will say to myself that “One day i would achieve my goal …and the day will come ..”
Hi ,
I told that getting a gud job lies major part in my stress.
I overcome it by trying to get the job by improving my skills and being confident about that.
To over come and rid my life of the stress caused my my impatience will take some time.
I suppose meditation and learning mind strength techniques would help me to improve my lack of patience and anxieties that come with waiting. I really do need to learn to focus on right now, rather than in the future, for example, to enjoy observing nature while waiting for a train rather than freaking out because its late and starting a snow ball reaction of frustrating energy.
The biggest thing to come to terms with is realising that whether the train it late or ontime is completely out of my hands and being frustrated is completely useless.
Today I will start meditating and start resolving this issue!
One positive thing about today, I recieved a huge thank you for a gift that I sent for someone special. The gift was an artwork that I put alot of work into and I am sure that it was well worth it, they loved it!! :D
How Can You Overcome Your Stressors (from Day 7)?
Sometimes I am afraid of losing my job and having financial issues. What can I do about it?
– Recognize that my financial situation is good, I can satisfy my needs and I am growing in skills and have already started to negotiate my salary which probably will result in its increase! (please keep fingers crossed!)
– Continue to examine my spending habits and make reasonable decisions concerning the way I use money.
– Continue to save a small amount of money every month for a future big expenditure (flat, car, etc.). Alternatively, I will be able to use it in case of emergency. My savings are not huge but they are constantly growing, slowly but surely.
– Keep checking my subconscious beliefs concerning money. Answer a few questions: What are my thoughts about abundance (financial, social, emotional, etc.)? What is a good level of abundance for me? What do I deserve? What are the main traits of rich people? How they became successful? Can I allow more abundance in my life? Do I trust myself? Where does my fear come from?
I will now answer two most important questions.
Do I trust myself?
Yes, I do. I am scared at times and feel insecure but I am 28, have already some experience, accomplishments, know myself quite well. I am open to new challenges and life in general so I think I CAN trust myself fully. There is no reason not to do so. I may make mistakes but I do need to trust my guts, nothing else will ever help me more. Life is a constant problem solving process and I have already gained some skills in this, no need to worry, I know I will always find a solution to any issue that will cross my way. World is an abundant place, life is generous with me. All I need to do is trust my vibes and let life flow freely through me. Will try to do so! ;)
Where does my fear come from?
It comes from my feeling of lack. I believe that in the world there is no room for everyone; that resources, opportunities, time, money, etc. are limited. This makes me feel insecure and scared. Thinking of myself in danger, leaving under a bridge or simply counting every penny and having not enough is very frustrating. It drains my energy, fills me with negativity and law vibes. It disempowers me and lowers my self-esteem. But where my value does come from? What defines if I am a person worth of love or no? It is neither the money, nor my circumstances; it is not even my behaviors or my thoughts. I am here; I am a life miracle and certainly have my place under the sun. I am unique and loved unconditionally by life. I just need to accept myself as I am and let life be generous with me. Let myself be full of life, open myself to new experiences, good energy and all the gifts that are waiting here for me. When I will open myself to love, abundance of all sorts will appear in my life naturally. Everything starts with love and gratitude. So the right question is: WHAT AM I GRATEFUL FOR? When do I experience true power, happiness, joy and peace? :heart:
The best way to empower myself and get rid of my fear is to accept my feelings, let them be as they are, love them. I need to strengthen my gratitude habit of listing all the beautiful, positive things that happen to me on a daily basis.
Dear Celestine, Positivity challenge is a great way to do so..! Many thanks for all your great work for all of us. It is a great pleasure and honour to read you and reflect on your questions. Keep doing your job with the same grace and persistence as you do! :hug:
Paulina, Good Good Morning to you!
For some reason, THIS page and YOUR post appeared before me on my way to Day 15!
Go figure!
Since there are no accidents, I paid attention to your post.
And I am glad that I did!
I found some “pearls” to wear on my necklace today. :D
I treasure them and have highlighted them and made some comments.
Your words really cover the waterfront, but I could not resist diving right in!! :D
Your words are brilliant affirmations.
“I AM A LIFE MIRACLE AND CERTAINLY HAVE MY PLACE UNDER THE SUN.
I AM unique and LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY BY LIFE.
I just need to accept myself as I am and LET LIFE BE GENEROUS WITH ME.
I let myself be full of life, OPEN myself to new experiences, good energy, and ALL THE GIFTS THAT ARE WAITING HERE FOR ME.
When I open myself to love, ABUNDANCE OF ALL SORTS will appear in my life naturally.
Everything starts with love and gratitude.”
HOW BEAUTIFUL! :heart: Paulina, I am letting myself “be full of life” am opening myself “to new experiences, good energy, and all the gifts that are waiting here for me.” I am full of life!!! :dance: I LOVE THAT! :heart:
“I let life be generous with me.” What a great perspective! :D I am soaking all this in like a sponge this morning. Soaking in the sunshine of the positives underlying your post regarding “overcoming your stressors.” Okay, we admit our fearful thoughts, keeping in mind fear is “false evidence appearing real.” We allow our feelings to flow, so we can be authentic, and we allow those feelings to go, and flow into the next thing…looking on what we want in out life and creating more of that (instead of looking at what we don’t want and getting stuck in icky feelings/mindsets).
Then there is:
“So the right question is:
WHAT AM I GRATEFUL FOR?
When do i experience true power, happiness, joy and peace? :heart: ”
Isn’t THAT the TRUTH!
It really IS for me about asking the right questions! AND, it is about, really, “true power, happiness, joy and peace.” That IS what is really important to me, All the other “stuff” is just that “stuff” showing me what I don’t need or desire. “Stuff” encourages me to make changes, seeing/doing things differently that leads me to something better.
Continuing…
“The best way to empower myself and get rid of my fear is to accept my feelings, let them be as they are, love them.
I need to strengthen my gratitude habit of listing all the beautiful, positive things that happen to me on a daily basis.”
What a great way to shift fearful feelings to loving feelings via gratitude awareness, focusing on the beautiful and positive, and accepting and loving myself and my feelings just as they are!!!! (no denial, no avoidance, no judgment, no fantasy thinking, just allowing and accepting and loving myself in the moment. :D :heart: )
Paulina, your words and the meaning behind those words really speak to me this morning in very important ways.
I have been practicing using affirmations and being positive for some time now, and sometimes some edgy, anxious feelings creep up and landing on your post and hearing your comments are good vitamins for me this morning. :heart: :hug:
Thank you for being here, and thank you for thinking these thoughts, sharing these feelings, having these awarenesses, and choosing these beautifully, thoughtfully soulfully chosen words!
Thank you for BEING!
Instead of just copying your words in my notebook as reminders, it’s great sharing with you this morning’s experience and how it has impacted/shifted my line of thinking this morning and set the tone for my day. :heart: :hug: :D
:heart: Paulina, May you be ever-present in the ongoing moment of “Now” when “All is well”…your being engaged in doing what you love. :heart: May abundance in all the best possible ways flow to you freely and effortlessly, as you count your blessings and flow with all that generosity, feeling the love that you are, and emanating that love out into the world with every encounter. :heart:
:heart: When situations arise that need a closer look, may you be open to the challenge, asking the right questions, trusting yourself, realizing the answers that lie deep within your heart. May you remember the words and truths you already KNOW, and “let life flow freely” through you. :heart:
Have a wonderful day, Paulina!!! :hug: :heart: :hug:
Bette
How can ii overcome my stress?
Well when i am not able to meet my financial obligations i convince myself that i will be able to find money somehow and be able to pay the people that i owe.. i have been looking for a job and haven’t found one yet that can pay the bills.
As for the mind clutter, i have tried the mind clarity exercise and it works, i just need to do it often, probably when i am about to go to bed?
Reflecting back on this past week, I realize that in order to overcome the things that cause me stress, that I first have to take care of myself or everything will overwhelm me and I can’t focus on the problem at hand.
I have things scheduled a bit hectic and I needed to stop and decide which ones were more important, which ones could wait a few weeks, and what had to be done each day. I had to make a list of what I needed to get done and what I wanted to get done, then focus on each one in order to handle them.
The positive I can list is that I learned a valuable lesson. I am one person and I am going to have to stop stacking so much onto my calender at one time.
The stressors I mentioned in Day 7 were regarding my son’s behavior. I can promote the kind of interactions I want him to have with others by imitating those exchanges when we play and as we go about our daily business. I have tried to eliminate exposure to violence, hostility and negativity as much as possible. Most of all, I need to focus on trying to help him be happier and not focus on feeling like a failure as a parent or criticizing myself.
Something positive about today: I found a new relaxing activity, which is listening to lectures from Open Yale courses. Definitely felt good to take a time out and I’ll try to do this more often.
I’m not sure how to overcome them. One way to do it might be to just start learning what I started and try to live with what I know. Life is indeed too short, yet when I get stuck I don’t know how to start studying. Later it becomes a burden of work that isn’t done on time.
Keep working on my relationship with my mother-on my side of things – I am not responsible for her actions, I can only control what I can do.
I got rid of all the clocks, that has helped immensely :) I just naturally flow better without constant reminders of “time”…it took me a long time to realize that. Somethings are harder to avoid, but eventually, not having to answer to anyone regarding finances and such will be a huge relief.
The last…I just try to avoid negative people when I can. When I cannot, I try to detach. Many times I won’t even feel the anxiety from it until after the fact. Again, I can only control my side of things.
I guess my solution was my positive from last time. I’m working t find happiness and more confidence in myself.
Positive: I’m reconnecting with some old friends.
How can I overcome my stressors?
:cool: Remembering that I’ll never be perfect & infallible, accepting that I’ll always have my flaws and faults, and learning to let go, let be and let live. Breathing. Sleeping. Reading. Watching an uplifting movie. Working out @ the Gym. Running. Swimming. Giving myself ME time. Praying. Meditating. Hanging out with friends. Chatting with friends. Chilling out.
;) I’ve had a highly-strung up week at work. So I intend to take it a notch lower and just chillax a little over the weekend.
:clap: My colleague and I went to a nice little restaurant and enjoyed an all-day breakfast and chatted about our upcoming trip to New York!
I can overcome my first stressor, my career, by continuing to do the best that I can, not get caught up in what others think of me, and focus on results. I won’t worry about others’ opinions of me – just enjoy my job and continue to grow every day.
My second stressor, not being able to say “no” to others, is a current work in progress. I am currently practicing the art of “let me get back to you on that…” so that I don’t feel pressured to make a decision immediately. I am also constantly trying to remind myself that the most important person in my life is ME, and nobody else will care about that in the end, no matter how many times I say yes to something I don’t want to do.
As my 6 year old niece said to me last month, “Yes Kimberly, just say NOOOOOOO.” :)
Thursday was kind of a mediocre day for me, but one positive thing I can mention is that a major customer service issue at work that was not my fault yet was stressing me out past my limits was finally resolved.
There is a lot of background for my cause of stressor and the way in which the situation is unfolding (to summarize, we are moving to a new house, she’s supposed to move out with her bf-husband, but seems like she is still going to occupy the new house as a storage center for all her hoarding, or worse, continue living together). Anyway, to put some thought into my boycotting of cleaning, considering that it’s probably not an effective way of handling it since it’s very passive-aggressive but then again, I tried to compromise with the messy woman but she wasn’t cooperative, a healthier way to handle this situation is:
1. Accept that she is my boyfriend’s sister and she is entitled to lead her life in whichever messy manner she wants to.
2. Let go of the resentment I have towards her for being such a sloth (hard to do, as my blood boils thinking about it).
3. Continue cleaning up since ultimately, the one that gets bothered by the messiness and filth is me, not her. May be she’s so used to being so dirty that she doesn’t even realize that it’s now officially dirty.
4. Don’t expect any contribution from her because I am not cleaning for her, I am cleaning for myself, to live in a clean and peaceful environment.
5. Don’t expect her to move out, she is a fart that will follow us anywhere we move to (family situation has a lot more background that I intend going into in this challenge).
6. Make a schedule for myself and boyfriend for cleaning times, this way, I will be able to gage how much time I am willing to invest in cleaning and I won’t feel as though I am cleaning every single day.
Something positive about my day is that I brought a delicious Taiwanese soap and onion pancake to my mom who is still at the hospital recuperating from her C-section. She and her husband loved it and it was a joy to watch them enjoy the food.
PS: CORRECTIONS:
#5, I meant “than I intent going into” not “that”
positive thing of the day: Taiwanese “soup” not “soap” lol
Just as a note: if anyone is reading, as you read you will notice that not all my comments have the last task. This is because I do these tasks at the end of every week. What I actually do is that I would read the tasks, do the required and due to a hectic time schedule, I only comment on fridays, when I give myself a day off.
Well one of the possible ways to overcome my stressors is really just by one way and that would be not to stress. I know that its irritating and very stressful working without your material, its like going to war without your ammunition. But what I do is 1) use the library and internet for the time being
2) borrow some books where I can
3) going to lectures and tutorials and ensuring that I really try to get as much as possible
4) Remind myself to have fun and really study hard. i’m exploring all the avenues with this situation and that’s the best I can do :cool:
I forgot my positive action for the day (yesterday) – I went to bed early and slept for 10 hours – it’s incredible how good I felt this morning :dance:
I meditate daily and this has helped a lot.
Also, I have accepted that I am not responsible for everyone, and also I cannot influence everyone – so instead of being stressed by negative people , I avoid them when I can and ignore what they say if I cannot avoid them. I also refuse to listen to people gossiping.
My stressors are really caused by my time management. If I prioritize and set limits then I shouldn’t worry about deadlines and stuffing my week with too many things. The being on time stressor is something I have worked on rather hard. I slowly reminded myself things happen and are out of my control. I take a breather and realize this isn’t going to be the end of my life.
One postive thing about today is the beautiful weather. It was so nice to get out and go for a walk.
I completely agree with you! Time management is my ultimate challenge. Life would be so much easier if I had the will power to follow my to-do tasks and not procrastinate. I hope you overcome your stressor :)
Since my major source of stress is money, I think the first step to overcoming this would be to change my beliefs about money. I have to keep in mind that I am not my parents and I’ve made very different life choices than they have, so for me to allow memories of financial stress from my childhood to negatively affect my life is pointless. I also think that by recognizing patterns in my thought process and not allowing them to spiral out of control is another key aspect of overcoming this issue.
One positive thing for the day was the weather. It was t-shirt weather outside, even though it was quite windy. Just another sign that spring is on the way!
Day 8 – I can overcome the stressors from Day 7 but just embracing who I am and what I am without trying to live up to others expectations. I need to make a plan and work it and not let myself get distracted by social media, tv, websites, etc.
One positive thing about Day 8 – I got to work in my jammies as long as I wanted too which was a nice feeling. It was awesome not feeling like I had to rush to be anywhere! :)
Just wanted to give you a small pointer on the stressors… There are certain tools that you can use to block websites and that could help in staying away from those websites that bring unhappiness to you :)
How Can You Overcome Your Stressors
My stressor from yesterday was my work. My work isn’t my passion. I don’t feel like it is helping my personal growth and I feel like I have less personal freedom to express myself by working there. The answer is simple. It’s time to move on. I’m planning my next move now.
Even though work can stress me out one positive thing that happened to me today was my manager commended me on doing an exceptionally well job throughout the month of February. It felt really good to be recognized. He also gave me a hat with our company logo (I will never wear it but it was nice to get!)
That’s awesome, Matt. :clap: I’m happy for you that your manager commended you on a job well done. Do you have any broad thoughts on what your next move might be and when you might want it to unfold?
I’m doing a little work on my blog now because I want to make that my career. I’ll be kicking things into high gear later this month when I end the health and fitness challenge I am doing in the forums. Other than that I will also be checking for available jobs and possibly contacting various businesses to inquire about open positions.
Job interviews make me nervous. I think I might actually try to get interviews at businesses I don’t actually want to work at. Things like gas stations or McDonald’s etc. Part of me feels a little bad for wasting that persons time but I think it would boost my confidence during interviews for jobs I really do want to get.
The ideas that come to my mind are first maybe be aware and remember that my job is only that, a job, I do the best I can and if things are not happening as planned, nobody is going to die because of that. Also keep constant conversation with my manager to see if we can organise things better. And forget about my job when I go home, the gym is an excellent way to release my stress.
Positive thing: I had a meeting with a special friend. It was very enjoyable
How Can You Overcome Your Stressors (from Day 7)?
My first step towards overcoming my stressors was removing the time/ date off my desktop, which has been great in helping me focus! I did not realize how often my eyes darted to the top right of the screen and how that affected my mood!
Now I just start doing something and well, I do it for as short or as long as I feel like! Oftentimes, I end up doing more than I probably would have… and my endurance is only growing. C=
But besides that, I think to overcome my stressors, two changes would help:
1) Doing something as the opportunity arises and not procrastinating
2) Establish an accountability system so I won’t feel guilty when I have fun
3) Remind myself that I shouldn’t try to do too much at once and burn out
1 is something I have been working on a long time, and it’s getting better. It’s definitely a different mindset and hard to change to, but the outcomes are wonderful. 2 is something I’ve always tried but failed, but perhaps this time the fact that I will be focusing on the facet of allowing me to enjoy myself when I do will help it work. 3 is definitely needed, since even now unemployed I tend to run myself ragged doing things— even fun things fatigue. I definitely need to learn to enjoy laying in semi-darkness and listening to some great music by Mree and Jack Johnson.
—
Today, I planned to join someone’s potluck for Women’s Day, but I was running late and had another appointment coming up… and with omnipresent LA traffic on the 10, I almost skipped it. I only them once for 5 minutes at Starbucks last week… but she seemed cool and I didn’t want to be a flake. I also didn’t want to be late to my appointment as I forgot about it last time… so I decided to head over there despite the fact that I might only be there for 5 minutes after 40+ minutes of driving, so I could stay true to my word.
I stayed true to my word, and am getting more prompt at getting to places, so super positive point of my day! :D
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