This is Day 8 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge held in March 2012, where we work on being positive for 21 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the tasks.
21DPC Day 8 Question
Today’s positivity question is:
How Can You Overcome Your Stressors (from Day 7)?
(The things you cited on Day 7 bring you stress because you have not fully overcome them yet. What can you do to start overcoming them today?)
Your Task:
- Reflect and answer today’s question(s). Write as few or as many words as needed to fully express yourself.
- Implement what you wrote in #1. As you face the stressors from Day 7, whether today or in the future (and they will resurface, because unresolved obstacles will always be in our life until we overcome them), apply the solutions you identified today. Remember, baby steps are the way to go.
- Identify at least one positive thing about your day. It may be something small or something big – as long as you deem it as something positive, it counts. If you have more than 1 thing to share, then by all means, go for it!
Share Your Answers!
After you are done, share your answers in the comments area.
If you’re doing this at the start of the day, you can post your answer for today’s question first, then work on your positivity task throughout the day, then return at the end of the day to share your results for your positivity task and your end-of-day positive reflection.
Check out other participants’ answers. Pick 1-2 participants’ answers and make a meaningful reply to them. Engage in the discussions. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days!
Look forward to reading your responses!
(Images: Happy girl in the field, Stress)
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How Can You Overcome Your Stressors (from Day 7)?
In day 7, I mentioned that I feel stress when I take over some responsibility and then find out that I cannot make it. To overcome this, I would tell myself that, since I have taken it up, so I should do the best I can. If I fail in the end, that will be what I learn as experience.
Next time, I should do more investigation on the responsibility before I agree to take it over. Once I have done the research, I should know the confidence level I have towards the responsibility. If I know that I cannot take it, then I should reject, instead of taking the role and worried for it.
Implement what you wrote in #1.
Now, I’m facing the problem in my community club. I will do my best to encourage the members to participate in achieving the club goals. It is not only for club development, it’s for personal development too. Just invite them to discuss together and see how we can move the club forward, move the members forward. :) Since I have taken it up. just do my best before I pass the responsibilities to the next person in the next term.
Identify at least one positive thing about your day.
Yesterday, I learn another few Japanese words while fetching my Japanese friend to zither class. Also, I did exercise for 45 minutes in the gym center in my college. :)
Ganbate!
Thanks, Ken. :)
I will.
My stress from yesterday is having to tell my wife that I want to separate. I can’t live like this anymore. Like nothing is wrong. Today she even came to pick me up at the airport after my business trip and it seems like she wanted to start a fight already.
I was calm, but to physically tired to do anything tonight.
Tomorrow is Friday. I’m going to take shower and go to bed.
Tomorrow night, I’m going to tell her I’m no longer happy. It’s sad that I would have rather stayed in the business trip instead of wanting to come home. If it wasn’t for work, I would have volunteered my seat on the plane for another night away from home, got to stay in a hotel, and I would have gotten another free round trip ticket.
One positive thing about today is that my friend still spent time with me talking. She’s not feeling well today and she went home early. But she still talked to me via IM.
Hey Ken, I’m sorry to hear about your situation with your wife. But at the same time, making the decision to move on from a relationship that is no longer working out for you is the best course of action you can take for yourself. What is the status now, if you don’t mind me asking? I believe many here are concerned and want to be sure you are in a good place (or at least, moving there).
Well I am going to talk to here tonight. It’s Friday night so I will have the weekend/few days where I won’t have to worry about work.
My wife and I already had this type of talk a few months ago. We decided that we should get a divorce, but we never set a date or time. We did agree we should not work on trying to have a baby. Although she keeps thinking a baby is the answer. I am not going to do that. No way.
But because we never set a time to do the divorce, things are in limbo at home and any time we spend together is awkward.
I finally decided I can’t do live like this anymore. So tonight I will talk to her and tell her we need to set a time. If she doesn’t want to, then I am going to get the ball in motion to start the divorce process and file. Whether she likes it or not.
Thank you for reading my post, and replying as well. It means a lot.
Easy, make more money. I am starting a couple of side things. Positive thing today: one of my side businesses is already selling.
I was glad that I answered the ‘why’ part of the question yesterday, because that’s the key to overcoming the major stress! For me, the stress is inefficiency, because my time is valuable. There’s a 2-part solution:
1. realize that everything is negotiable, from when I call someone to what I do with the information I’m given
2. use the 80/20 rule to make my life easier! Can I delegate, interrupt, deflect, or avoid inefficient situations?
For instance, today, I was on the phone with someone who’s company policy was not going to work for me. Once I realized that, I asked to speak to a different department. That wasn’t possible – so I let it go! I can get the information I need by using a different company! It’s such a relief!
Positive things for today:
– I got to kiss my sweetie before he went on a 5 day road trip
– a potentially volatile social situation didn’t erupt
– I got to apologize to a friend for a small hurt, and it made all the difference in his day.
– I got to help people do good science.
– Spring …. sprung! :dance:
Leave folks that are not ready
How Can You Overcome Your Stressors (from Day 7)?
– I can spend less money – though I don’t generally spend it much anyway – so that we can increase our savings to prepare for unexpected expenses. One step we’ve already taken is that my partner manages our bank account. I pay bills and do the grocery shopping, but he’s the one who keeps track of our finances. That has helped a lot. Another thing I can do is just worry less about it; any time I start to worry about money, stop and take a few deep breaths and ask myself if we’re really in trouble.
Implement what you wrote in #1.
– The next time I start worrying about money I’ll do that.
Identify at least one positive thing about your day.
– This really nice young woman came by the house to sell a cleaning product. At first I was skeptical, but she was so sweet I wasn’t going to shoo her away. She demonstrated the cleaner on some stuff in the house – particularly this huge, gross stain that’s been in the carpet since we moved in – and I was amazed! After talking for a while I bought a bottle of it and set to work on the carpet. The absolute worst spots aren’t 100% better, but most of the stained areas look perfect. I’m probably way too excited about this, but I’m kind of a neat freak. ;)
To overcome my stressor, I need to remind myself to be disciplined and prioritize things that I am supposed to do over things that I enjoy doing. I will also learn to make the things that I am supposed to do to become things that I enjoy doing so that I will feel more motivated and driven. I need to remind myself of my vision and the future I look forward to while not losing my touch with the present.
Positive things for the day:
Deep long conversation with best friend over a cup of frappuccino
Able to finish my quiz on time
**21DPC DAY 8**
By doing all my tasks one by one, starting from smaller or more fun things.
Today I caught up with this challenge (hehe), sent some messages I had to send and tried making some new food (potato salad). There’s still a bit on my to-do list but I don’t feel too overwhelmed (yet). Worst will be writing up my practical report, which is due next Wednesday!!!
Positive today: abnormal psychology lecture. Always a winner :)
Hey Jade! Great to know you’re doing well in the challenge. :clap: Abnormal psychology lecture?? Good to know you enjoyed the class! :D
It’s a brief overview of different disorders, their neurobiological basis (as much as is understood, which is less the case for social disorders) and possible treatments – both behavioural and drugs. It’s only an introduction though, so I won’t yet go out to cure anyone, unfortunately!
For getting things done: I have a good system in place when I use it. If I spend time every Sunday planning out my week, setting my priorities, leaving space in my calendar for the miscellaneous urgent things that are inevitable, and implement that plan during the week, I feel really good about myself. I didn’t plan this week, and it shows. I haven’t been productive.
For negative people: I’m still doing pretty good on this one. I’m limiting my time with them, and that helps a lot!
Positive thing for today: Even though I’m not feeling good today, and wasn’t very productive, I am so thankful that I have someone to support me and encourage me to relax and get myself better so that I can face a new day tomorrow. And since I forgot to mention it in yesterday’s post… so proud of my best friend for doing something that was both positive and out of his comfort zone! And I’m caught up on the challenge posts.
To overcome my stress, it depends on the situation but something good to do is get some fresh air, take a deep breath. Things look a bit easier afterwards.
I found prayer helps me a lot or writing down my frustration, this way I let go of tensions and I don’t less stressful situations take the first place in every aspect of my life.
Will start practicing tomorrow at work!
As for the positive things of the day:
I received news from my best friend
I enjoyed a nice evening home
How can I overcome my stressors? I think when it comes to finances; your options are sometimes limited. I have considered getting a second job….I’ve been in that position before though and it just seemed to add more stress to my life, not to mention my marriage. But, we have started to cut unnecessary expenses (cut cable, reduced our internet, switched cell phone companies, and refinanced our car)…and that has been a big help. We are just now seeing the effects of that. Now, we are in the process of trying to purchase a home, which actually help our monthly expenses! I think both my husband and I will feel better with our finances if/when we can purchase a home.
If for some reason we are unable to purchase at this time, we will consider downsizing our apartment in hopes to cut more expenses, and possibly a second job is on the horizon…at least long enough to get us through this financial bump.
One positive thing about my day: We started the financial process of purchasing! This is a big step for us. We are optimistic that everything will work out in our favor, and hopefully we’ll be packing and movie in a month or so! :)
Happy Thursday!
I am working on my stressors and i think i am on good path to do that, i know that blocking out stress is not possible and not healthy so i am working out, trying to go on alpha level of mind as much as possible, i am going to couples therapy with my partner and i think that i will get over most my stress factors sooner than i thought.
As for the positive thing, i had a nice day, march 8th women’s holiday so i talked and shared good words and hopes with women of my family. I had a nice workout. And i got a great load of my back when my mother accidentally found out about something that i was hiding and that was like weight on my shoulders and we both laughed about it and all in all very positive thing. And i had a good couples counseling with my partner and we had some deep moments of realization so i think that that alone will take some future stress away and make some positive changes in our relationship.
So as many of us and i am actually living it : Every day, in every way, i grow more and more.
Hi Borjana, that’s great that both you and your partner had deep realizations during the counseling. I’m very happy to hear that things are moving in the positive direction for you. :hug:
Yesterday, I tried twice to post my comments and each time the page went to a broken link page, so I never managed to post them in the end…that was a stress in itself!
Briefly a couple of things that stress me out are:
– being put on the spot – I like to have time to think through what I want to say and can’t just think off the top of my head.
– being unable to find out what I am ‘hanging on to’ or ‘can’t let go of” as this is preventing me from going to that inner space and getting to know my spiritual self
Todays challenge:
Ways to overcome the stresses
– on the spot -take some deep breaths and try to remain calm so that I can clarify my thoughts; ask for a minute or two to collect my thoughts
– ‘can’t let go – Not sure about this one. I am reasonably new to meditation,but this hasn’t helped – it makes me more stressed, because its not working ( I know it takes practice, but I am desperate to get ‘inside’). I’m not sure that I know how to ‘think’ properly. I am going on a retreat in a few weeks time and am pinning a lot of hope on that. Really don’t know what it is that’s causing me a problem; I’m guessing its something unremembered from my childhood, but who knows…
Any help or advice would be much appreciated ;)
I overcame yesterdays stress of not being able to post my comments by doing it today, albeit briefly.
Positive thing: We are FINALLY able to remove some very old paint off the staircase, after trying unsuccesfully to do so over the past week. A colleague lent me the machine with which to remove it, so I’m very grateful to her. I picked a few spring flowers from my garden to give to my colleague (a different one) who had a hospital appointment yesterday and I didn’t know if it was going to be good or bad news for her, so I thought that if it was bad, they might cheer her up and if it was good, then they would say congratulations. It was good news for her and I’m really pleased as she has worked so hard to get to where she is now :dance:
Hi Sue! Sorry to hear that not being able to post your comments was causing you stress. You may want to copy/paste your comments and save them in a text file on your computer first before posting the next time, just in case. I have a habit of doing them in my general web surfing, especially for long comments, because I never know what would fail on me (browser crashing, computer hanging, server going down, etc).
To stay focus and as mentioned baby step. I am having trouble doing it at the moment, there is so much things to do.
I’ve told prioritize! I have been trying for the last 4 weeks for work and it keeps accumulating,
I helped a colleague who is new to the role and she kept thanking me for helping.
I went to a mosaic class and really had fun
How Can You Overcome Your Stressors (from Day 7)?
Up until about 7 years ago, I led a very stressful, hectic life. Then my husband passed away, and I took a step back and realized that all the stress and craziness in my life was not worth it, because, in an instant, life ends. Since then, I have worked very hard at eliminating any stress and the causes of it in my life. It meant letting go of a good job and several people from my life, including a few family members. Today I lead a very different life. I take time for myself, I insist on “quiet” time for myself everyday and I spend a lot of time outside connecting with nature and enjoying all the beauty that it provides.
Whenever something or someone stressful comes into my view, I take a step back and figure out a way to deal with it and put it behind me as soon as possible.
My biggest stress that I talked about yesterday, was driving in the snow. Don’t get me wrong, I love snow… I just really hate driving in it. When I find out that we are going to get snow, I start making plans immediately so that I don’t have to drive! I spend the night with a co-worker that lives across the street, or I catch a ride with someone else, or I take the bus. I have a list of my options and put a plan together!
I guess that is my answer to anything that stresses me out these days! It may take me a couple hours to figure it out, but so far it’s working for me!
At least one positive thing about my day… (only one? there are so many!) Today, I am excited that our migratory birds are coming back! I saw my first Robin of the year this morning! It is a sure sign that Spring is right around the corner : )
I know what to do, but I am not organised to do so, so i guess i have to start making baby steps until it gets a habit out of me!
So, if people that talk behind my back stress me out all I have to do is put them away of my life, when I’m angry start counting to 10 and have some dip breaths and when I want to do something that’s in my mind start doing it right away and not push it for later because it will never get done if I do that.
Positive thing about today? I have my breath in me :) I celebrated with my family Womens day and I smiled in relax.
How can I over the Stressors I wrote about yesterday?
I have to admit that when I read todays question I felt lost. I truly was not sure how I could overcome the stressors in my life. It felt as if whenever I thought about a possible solution I was sacrificing how I truly felt, giving in to someone else, speaking my mind and making matters worse than they already are, possibly.
The thought of writing about how to overcome my stressors, stressed me, because my first thought was, this is a Positive Challenge, enough already, let’s move away from the negativity of those thoughts…. Run ( see that’s me ) run from negativity!
This is the longest time it has taken me to write an answer. For someone who prides themself on being a positive person, so very blessed, so many gifts how could I have so many things that stress me and no answer to be found?
So I read and I read and I read and I read. Every time someone posted an answer here I grabbed some part of it and said, I could do that, yes I could try that, yes that sounds like it would work…..
I keep a motivational daily journal which is the sum total of each month. It has on it little talks that I want to insure I do in each month and they don’t slip. Things are small as I see them but there are so many little small things that just have time just pass if you don’t pay attention to it. The journal check list works well for me as it motivates me, it reminds me and it acts as a confirmation for me that I have not ” forgotten” to do something that was important to me but I just forgot because of work, other demands etc. etc.
My list looks like this (its long but it looks something like this)
Family: Call Mom
Family: Call son and his family *.*
Family: Visit son and his family
Write a letter to someone/anyone:
Practice Guitar:
Cacher: Grooming
Cacher: Nails
Send something/anything, note … to grandkids — I want them to come to recognize Nana & Grandpys writing on a letter…
One on one time with a friend:
Do something special for someone/anyone:
Do unto others:
The list goes on and on… I have decided to incorporate some of the replies in today’s question to this list. A few things that jumped at me were;
What did I do today toward my ultimate goals?
What am I grateful for today?
What is something really nice about today?
What did I do for someone else today?
I am going to add a bunch of these things to my daily journal so that when I sit I can spend more time concentrating on the good and it will leave me less time to even think about the little crappy things that sometimes upset me. My mom always said an idle mind is the devils playground. I think she is right because when I am busy I don’t fret over such little nuances that I do when I have time to think…
Thank you to everyone who inspired the new “view” and the additions to my daily journal.
Your thoughts, Celes entire journaling challenge makes a difference.
I like it a lot….
One positive thing that happened today: Well, I’ve discovered there is an answer and I was not too convinced there was, that is a pretty big relief!
Smiles
To cope better with my stressers, I need to live more in the moment and try not to control…pretty much anything maybe. And just live moment by moment, day by day. And remove myself from the presence of those who are overly negative. Or just ignore it, if I can’t truly be helpful.
Good things about today so far: The cat who lives next door came to visit me. I’m enjoying the wind outside and the fact that I can open the French doors. Missing details of my life make sense now. I’m looking forward to taking a much needed nap later. :)
Here’s to your living in the moment, Christina, day by day!!! :dance:
I simply love it when there is fresh air moving about in the inside of the house!
And sounds like there is a new wind blowing through your life now, too…blowing away the doubts and any stuck places…(or maybe that’s what’s happening in my life! ;)
I just love this sentence:
“Missing details of my life make sense now.”
Gets me to thinking how I would “miss” those “missing details” (things, people, etc)…and yet they are not really missing, they are transformed into some new awareness or part of a transition that is evolving, growing, moving on to the new. And it all somehow has served its purpose and makes sense in the Greater Picture. Sometimes for me it is about acceptance without understanding.
Happy napping, Christina, and…
Happy Everything! :hug:
:heart:
Yes–you are absolutely right about the missing details! We are so limited by not knowing more than our own experience. I’ve reconnected with two people from my past recently and have a much clearer picture of my relationships with them and my life in general than I would have had otherwise. And yet…that truth still exists and always had even though I wasn’t aware of it. And the bigger picture is always so much better than the stuff we come up with in our heads. Our minds like to do this default thing assuming the worst sometimes or wishing things could be better when they’re actually pretty good. :)
Your words got me to thinking, Christina..
.
“the bigger picture is always so much better than the stuff we come up with in our heads” definitely speaks to me. I am learning to dream of great things, envisioning them, AND I sense the “bigger picture” and having the faith and knowing that there is an order, a Divine plan that is at work.
“Something Greater” has always attracted my attention to other possibilities that will help on my journey. Tuning into the peacefulness that lies beneath the agitations of the mind, I find such rest and restoration, revitalization.
.”And yet…that truth still exists and always had even though I wasn’t aware of it.” Love that.
And on another level. The Truth “IS.” Whatever people say or do not say, believe or do not believe, the Truth is that ever-fixed mark that is Itself, no matter what.
And I truly want to realize the Truth, contemplate it, rest there, have it manifest in my telling the truth, to myself, and in my interactions out there in the world, living the Truth, being authentic. :D
Yes, things are “actually pretty good” and there is so much to be grateful for.
I find it helpful to check in with my thoughts and feelings on a daily basis, to see if all that is what i want to create/be in my life…
For what I think upon, e-x-p-a-n-d-s, and I am a work in progress, a result of my thinking and realizations.
Like I said, your post got me to thinking….just thought I’d share that process…. :D
Still feeling that lovely wind? When I think wind, I think clearing, change…..love that…i feel hopeful when I realize i can change and doors of possibility open wide for my passage through to new vistas, new opportunities!!! :dance:
Hi Bette,
YES! I really resonate with everything you’ve said. I love taking a moment to remind myself that there is a greater connection to everything that I might not be able to see in the moment and the ultimate truth is always a good one. I believe that when the truth seems dark or like “the truth hurts”, it’s just because we’re only looking at a small part of the truth and not seeing the big picture. The big picture sets us free. Definitely feeling the wind metaphorically now (if not through my French doors). It’s a time of change and transition and I’m enjoying the ride :)
P.S.
ADDENDUM TO DAY 8
FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE
(Hearing/Seeing the messages in the stressors and Doing Things Differently)
I just read Lee’s post, and it reminded me how important it is to implement keeping my life’s purpose, goals, and dreams in the front of my mind every day! Also, I used to say “Thank You” for my first words or thoughts upon awakening, haven’t done that as much, and Lee’s post reminded me that I like doing that. Living FROM and IN that ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. ( Also, I’d like to have that as my “last” thought before sleep. :D :heart: :angel: )
After reading Lottie’s post, I am turning the task inside out, so to speak, and viewing the “stressors” as “messages” I can study and learn so I can do things differently.
After reading P. Callychurn’s post, I got to thinking more and more:
About Mother Nature and acceptance of the natural flow, and being in tune with that rhythm, that exquisite, singular rhythm and:
About expressing noble virtues(like patience and tolerance) in every aspect of our livingness…. and:
About: “Stress”…stress is something that is needed in a way, like it takes a certain tension to hold things together, right? So it’s not a bad thing, but a necessary thing, really. It’s when there is an unnatural overload or an excess of stress (or anything!) that it becomes a problem, or leads to a problem.
I’m learning it is soooo about:
THE BASICS: common sense, practicality, following an innate sense that is in line with the will to do good, being in tune with Inner Wisdom and walking that path, the High Road.
It’s sooo about::
Realizing my life’s purpose and being about that in thought, word, and deed, and:
Helping others, not imposing on anyone something that I would not want for myself.
Honoring Mother Nature, for She is whereupon we live and move and express our body, mind, and Spirit.
BACK TO THE SOURCE? Ohhhh, yes, P.Callychurn…and no wonder this counseling was from a sage…. it is such enlightened wisdom.
Reading others’ posts really gives me so much!!!! THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!! :D :hug: :heart:
PE has helped guide me to focus on what is working, and let go of what is not working. Sounds simple, but the difference is, Celes :angel: systematically shows how me how to gather for myself the most useful things, and then enumerates and outlines the steps to get the job done! ;) :D :dance: :angel:
THANK YOU, CELES!!! :hug: :heart:
********
It becomes clearer and clearer to me how the ANSWERS are right there in the questions themselves, eagerly awaiting discovering! :angel: I am constantly learning more about this… :D
More and more, I am becoming a QUESTION PROBER….mining the rich field of questions that have within them the messages and answers, implementing my vision, and building my dreams come true!!!
Kinda like Dorothy looking all over the place for her heart’s desire, and it was in her own backyard the whole time…. :heart: :angel: ;)
*********
WHAT I THINK ABOUT, EXPANDS!!! :heart: :D (Think on what I want in my life, not what i don’t want)
“I FOCUS ON WHO I AM, AND WHY I’M HERE”
EVERY DAY,
ALL THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
I keep an ONGOING GRATITUDE LIST. :heart: I keep counting my blessings! :heart:
I STAY ON TRACK…i.e. with healthy food plan, daily exercise/physical activity, healthy positive thinking/attitude, being engaged in practical solutions of the things before me, and BEING FULLY PRESENT in all these moments of my life! :heart:
Put my VISION BOARD where I can see it before me, Update it whenever I need to.
Put the AFFIRMATIONS where I can SEE them,
Read UPLIFTING books,etc.
OBSERVE my thoughts:
I pay attention to my body, LISTENING to any messages that my BODY is telling me.
I mine the pearls of my INNER WISDOM.
FIRST THING, when I wake:
I say “Thank You.”
I recall/write down any dreams and reflect on any messages.
I meditate.
I read my life purpose and goals
I write any thoughts that come up for me…..
THROUGHOUT THE DAY
I practice SMILING (it relieves stress, it’s contagious, ;) it looks good, it feels good, it IS good!!! :D :D :D ;)
I lighten up with LAUGHTER
I do LOTS of things that I LOVE and make me HAPPY:
Visiting with friends :hug: ,
Phone/email a friend :D ,
Listen to favorite music :heart: ,
Exercise :dance: :D :heart:,
Enjoy a meal fixed in a new way,
Read/write inspiring things :D :angel: :heart: ,
Open more fully my heart and soul to Mother Nature, listening to her simple yet profound
messages :heart: :angel: :heart:
BE in nature as much as possible
Take DEEP breaths (and generally, breath more deeply) :heart:
BEFORE SLEEP
I read my life purpose, dreams, goals.
I write down what I’ve done that brings me closer to realizing my goals. :heart:
I answer these ?s:
1. What did I like/love about the day today?
2. What did I do for someone else?
3. What could I improve/do better?
4. What am I grateful for?
I visualize myself at goal weight, strong, slender, riding my bike, :D hiking in favorite places, :D autographing the book I’ve authored, etc. :D
I say “Thank You”
zzzzzzz…… :heart: :angel: :heart:
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
I absolutely love this comment. It made me smile :) And it just looks like you have a fantastic, amazing, positive attitude towards life. Sending you huge amounts of positivity and hugs – thank you for sharing this happiness :hug:
And I am lovin’ that you are lovin’ it, Sqiggle! :heart:
Sharing my happiness has only made it grow even HAPPIER!!! :D :D :D
Thanks for your sharing your smile with me, Squiggle! :hug:
And I am STILL lovin’ your name!!! :dance: :D :D :D
How can I overcome my stresses?
So, my main stresses are public speaking (because of the fact that I’m being judged) and not having enough friends (that’s a new stress, but not so serious). How can I overcome public speaking? Well, I’ll just have to have more courage for – what are those other people watching me – they are just other people, with the same problems and issues and I cannot let that bother me. But I really have to practice this. And I have this stress that people don’t see my true personality and that’s a tought one – I want to be like myself, always, but somehow it doesn’t work out.
I hope I figure these things soon enough.
Positive today:
I passed my first IGCSE speaking exam in english and I am positive that I will have a pretty fancy mark. English is not my native language so I’m very proud to show off my pro-skills. :clap: well done.
my mother bought me roses even before I have bought her them. what a pitty to myself!!!
How can I overcome my stressors from day 7?
My worst stressor is the fact that my parents are going to die some time. Yes, this is just a thought, an idea, but this moment is getting closer with every passing day, and it’s really hard for me not to think about it. When I look at my grandparents, I understand that every time can be the last.
To overcome this stressor, I should change the attitude: I need to be grateful for my wisdom and use this knowledge wisely – help my parents and grandparents, spend time with them, take care of them, be a loving and attentive child. To do so, I went to my Grandma and stayed there for the night. We talked a lot, did some yoga, ate shrimp and dyed her hair. I hope it helped her to forget at least for a moment about the death of her sister (which happened 3 days ago).
I’m going to visit with my parents more often and do my best to make them smile. I love them tons and I can’t imagine my life without them.
As for the good thing that happened to me – of course it was the time spent with my mom, grandma and grandpa. My grandpa is in hospital now – he was operated and now is slowly recovering. So today I was enjoying the company of my loved ones – those minutes can’t be replaced with anything!
Hi Stacey,
I think about that a lot too and it makes me very sad. I’m always thinking about how to better appreciate my time with my parents and show them how much I care. Little petty things get in the way from time to time, but overall we have a good relationship. I want to enjoy all my time with them and make every moment count!
I understand that feeling :( I hope that I have at least another 20 years with my parents, but you just don’t know what’s around the next corner. I definitely think you have the right idea about changing your attitude – being grateful for them while they are here, and appreciating them.
My grandmother died nearly two years ago now, and I still miss her sometimes – but what is the most comforting thing is to see how so much of my behaviour and attitude was influenced by her. It’s almost as if she’s living on in me, and in my memory, and that makes it a lot easier. It’s as if people don’t just stop existing when they die – they just exist differently, in the lives of the people they inspired. I’m not sure what I believe about any sort of life after death, but I certainly believe that. She was ready to die, and she had no fear of it anymore – she knew that she’d served her ‘purpose’ in life and that leaving was just the next step.
I don’t know why I rambled on about that for so long! Anyway, I’m glad your grandpa is recovering :)
I can’t really influence the money issue; as for my exams, I’ll only have to keep studying (planning ahead and sticking to the routine I fix for myself).
Positive points of today: my father bought me and mom flowers, a pigeon made its nest close to our bedroom window, the weather was warm and nice. :)
As I mentioned yesterday, I avoid drama and conflict by not having people who attract those things in my life.
I will keep being diligent in avoiding the type of people who attract drama and conflict so that it doesn’t cause stress in my life.
Today the Sun is out and it’s a Happy Thursday here :cool:
I have to remember that certain people are not very good in making decisions. I have to remember this and must not take them decisions for granted. The are not yes or no, thy are more a maybe. But this is their problem, not mine. Remembering the grey space between black and white. Making my own decisions without knowing the exact kind of grey. I have to remember that the lack of decisions does not have anything to do with me but only with the other person. I have to learn to make my decisions without knowing the support of others.
I do already because my boyfriend hat this certain beating around the bush. Last friday I have been to iceland all alone. Because I wanted to go to see nothern lights and he was not certain. It is hard for me, but I am growing with every own decision for what I want to do. With doing so, I am not the one with the regrets but he is. With this, he can also grow with this situation. If we both won´t go, it´s a lose-lose-situation.
Today is international woman´s day and there are a lot of funny jokes coming along per email and facebook.
I read a quote that says, ” when you are older you will regret more the things that you did not do, than the things that you did “…………
Just do em and enjoy your life to the fullest! If your partner joins you bonus, if not you have not lost..
Happy International Women’s Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Terrye, Happy International Women’s Day to you too!!! :D
And thanks for reminding me about that quote…it’s a BEAUTY! :heart:
Enjoying life to the FULLEST!!!.. :dance: .Who wouldn’t want to do THAT, right?!!!
Hi Terrye, thank you for the quote. It says all that has to say to this topic! Wonderful! Thany you very much! I will put it on my whiteboard in my bureau right now :)
ninschuber,
YES, a BIG YES regarding having to learn to make decisions!!! And then GOING FOR IT!!!!
I have been challenged with making decisions, both small and big ones, all my life. But I have learned to just do SOMETHING!
If the path I took doesn’t take me to where I am supposed to go, it will wind around until it turns into another path that will take me to where I’m supposed to be!
Looking at it that way, there isn’t a “wrong path.” ;)
I’m so glad you didn’t miss out doing/seeing something you wanted to do/see! :D
HOW WAS IT???
And Happy International Women’s Day to a DECISIVE woman who KNOWS what she wants and GOES AFTER IT!
YAY!!!! :dance:
Hi Bette, you are so absolutely right! Thank you for your comment!
And I must say: Iceland is AMAZING! Northern lights are so nice and unbelievable. Go there, if you have the possibility. I have been there for 4 days and this was the right path, the right moment to do so.
Wish you all the best! We chase our goals, right? :hug:
Well, each day I am at work, the same stresses are there. But, with laughter and a few great friends, we make it much better. Taking each day at a time helps too and just letting go sometimes. The things I can’t control are a bit harder but I got a bit of closure on a situation yesterday which has seemed to lighten my load a bit. We would all be adult bumbling idiots if we didn’t have to go through some hard things in life that teach us things everyday. It’s just realizing it at the time.
Today, I will get to spend some quality time with my daughters and I look forward to that.
“But, with laughter and a few great friends, we make it much better.”
Having someone to share our hopes/worries/dreams with, it’s a great thing for our soul and mind.
“Taking each day at a time helps too and just letting go sometimes.”
You see, Paige, we’re such weird beings: we know what would be best for us and those around us, but we can’t really pull ourselves to do it. Letting go is one of the most difficult things to do; getting to a stage of soundness where you can simply let go and refuse to experience negativity is one of the biggest accomplishments in my opinion.
Love that, Lina… :heart:
“getting to a stage of soundness where you can simply let go and refuse to experience negativity”.
Well said!
Thanks for sharing that!
It’s food for thought!
:D
How Can You Overcome Your Stressors (from Day 7)?
What I practise currently are rituals/habits that I will do every day. When I wake up in the morning, I will say to myself ‘thank you’ immediately. I will then whisper ‘thank you’ for every step I take towards the bathroom. It seems silly, but it does focuses my mind towards gratitude and not what I don’t have. I got this technique from a seminar where the speaker says that if we do that frequently and be constantly grateful about our lives, we will not be as overwhelmed when something happens, as we know deep inside that there are so many things we can be thankful for.
At night before I sleep, I will read my personal life purpose, dreams and goals to keep myself motivated. After which I will list 1-3 things that I have done which are aligned to my life purpose. Doing so allows me to make sure that I will do something every day, no matter how small, that are aligned to my life purpose, and not lose track of it if something stressful happens. Come to think of it, perhaps I can improve this habit by reading my personal life purpose, dreams and goals in the morning too:)
Throughout the day, I will do the things that I love to do, which I believe help to overcome stress. Also, I practise accepting and letting go feelings as much as possible.
Identify at least one positive thing about your day.
Just read some chapters of ‘The Happiness Advantage’ and found the content rather insightful. The advice given are actually backed by scientific research too.
Hi Lee,
Your post opened up all kinds of good things for me. :D
( I wrote about them in my “Completed Addendum to Day 8,” which is on page 3.)
I really appreciate this post that describes what is helpful for you.
You have given me reminders of things that have fallen by the wayside in my own rituals/habits, that I now somehow have a renewed interest in. :D
One just never knows how what we say/share will affect someone!
Once I started writing things down that were triggered from your post, my thoughts became more organized and I felt a positive boost!
Nice, Lee, very nice for me. Thank you! :D
Best of the best to you on your journey!
:D
I am thankful that my comment is helpful for you. :dance:
All the best on your journey too! :D
For me overcoming my stresses can/is to be achieved by:
Not keeping any expectations on the other person
Being ready to accept every situation and move on and not push myself down in the hell-hole of the sorrow of not getting what i want…
I’ve now set my priority to me, its a new planet for me here (i mean seeking personal-excellence), i amaze the new vistas this new world has, am amazed at how warm and kind the community here is (Fellow PErs and all other self-help teachers)….now its up to me to be the evangelist and seek the new highs this world has to offer or i can sit back and drool in the bring-me-down bonds of my ex-planet….
POSITIVE of today…..It may so happen that at times, love and care for you comes from someplace that you least expected……. :heart: :heart:
Happy day to you ASLO! Good to hear that you are on higher ground these days, leaving behind the chains and nooses…. Bye-bye, shackles of the past…good riddance!!!!! We GET IT!!!…Don’t need you, no longer have you power over our precious selves!!!
Yes, acceptance IS a key. Unlocks the door to happiness. I find that when I just observe, and not react, take a deep breath, and know that what is most important is who I am, and what I have when I stay centered, balanced, am grateful in the moment, and tune into the gifts of Spirit.
And Yes again….”love and care for you comes from someplace you least expect”….I find this delicious happiness is a BIG hug from the universe, a wonderful confirmation to embrace. I like to stay open to new information and think, “What’s possible now?”
Some of the greatest gifts I have received are ones I hadn’t even dreamed about!
Like YOU, for instance, ASLO, Like YOU!!!!!
:heart: :hug: :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :
Thank you Bette for this gift of friendship….. :heart:
:hug: :D :heart:
How do I overcome the stress in question number 7?
That’s a hard one because what is causing the stress is two coworkers. I also realize that they have no idea that their attitudes are affecting me and so it is definitely my problem not theirs. I just try not to be in the same area that they are in for very long and when I am at my desk in my office I turn up the radio to buffer their voices. Imature, yes I know. What I need and will have to do is “put my big girl panties” on and just let it go. They are not going to change. It is my attitude that has to change. :rolleyes:
Positive of today was the beautiful spring-like weather we are having and my husband brought home flowers for me. :heart:
Well… as I said yesterday, I’m still trying to deal with these things daily that stress me out.
Work – i try to stay in my office and avoid those that have hidden agendas and that are 2 faced. I confide in those that i trust at work to vent when i need to. I find that removing myself from them, i tend to handle them better, because i’m not exposed to what they are doing. Otherwise, i think ugly thoughts…… and that is not positive and healthy.
Work – bad business decisions – I’m just thankful to have a job and have great friends that i work with that i can vent to. Sometimes we have to laugh to keep from crying. laughing is a good thing. it relieves stress.
About those friends and family that let addictions control their lives – i struggle with this everyday. I just have to be there for them, love them and let God’s love show thru me as best as I can and let God change them not me……
Positive for today – i started an exercise routine yesterday. I felt really good afterwards (not so much today…. really sore) but great that i’m trying to get back in the routine.
Maintaining a tidy and organized home (sanctuary) relieves a lot of my stress.
Lately I’ve been very diligent with my housework, and putting items away after I use them, and it feels wonderful! Baby steps ….
I’ve been volunteering less and the pressure is reduced … I love it! Yes, you do get burned out! My energy levels aren’t as high as they used to be, so I’ve been enjoying more down time.
I’m very fortunate to have wonderful family and friends to talk to. Had a wonderful evening with my niece, and I’m looking forward to cross country skiing with my boyfriend on the weekend, as well as some shopping with my daughter.
Maintaining a tidy space really helps me a lot too! I always make my bed if nothing else–it’s just better to look at a made up bed. But I do let a lot of other things go, just because I need to. Because I can’t do everything!
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