This is Day 3 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge held in March 2012, where we work on being positive for 21 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hello everyone, and welcome to Day 3 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge (21DPC)! :D We now have over *500* official participants on the challenge!
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If you’re new to 21-Day Positivity Challenge, or you have not signed up yet (your name should be in the official participants list), please read the announcement post and sign up first before going any further: 21-Day Positivity Challenge. All details on the challenge, what to expect, and how to sign up can be found at the post.
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For those of you who are already signed up – If you feel like this challenge has already bringing you positivity (and it’s only been 2 days, yo! ♥), why not invite a friend, family member, or colleague to join us? The more people we have on the challenge, the better! Simply direct them to the challenge announcement page here: Join the 21-Day Positivity Challenge
Update March 21: The challenge is now officially over, but you are more than welcome to do it in your personal space. Check out all posts made during the challenge: 21DPC Overview.
21DPC Day 3 Question
Today’s positivity question is:
What is One Thing That Has Been Frustrating You Lately?
… and
How Can You Overcome It?
Here is a related article on dealing with daily setbacks which you may find useful in dealing with your current frustration:
And the manifesto version, if you wish to have the tips available in an easy-to-read, poster form:
Your Task for Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s questions. Write as few or as many words as needed to fully express your thoughts. There is no word limit. Answer both questions, and not just the first question.
- For the step(s) you identified to overcome your frustration, put it into motion. Start with a baby step today, then go on from there.
- Identify at least one positive thing about your day. It may be something small or something big – as long as you deem it as something positive, it counts. If you have more than 1 thing to share, then by all means, go for it!
Share Your Answers!
After you are done, share your answers in the comments area!
If you’re doing this at the start of the day, you can post your answer for today’s question first, then work on your positivity task throughout the day, then return at the end of the day to share your results for your positivity task and your end-of-day positive reflection.
Check out other participants’ answers. Pick 1-2 participants’ answers and make a meaningful reply to them. Engage in the discussions. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days!
Look forward to reading your responses!
(Images: Happy girl in the field, Angry boy)
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One thing that has really been frustrating me lately is my job… but not just my job, more the fact that it has a strong effect on my emotions. My job really has the power to make me feel depressed and sad when I feel I am struggling, and the power to make me feel happy and positive when it is going well. My job is the thing I spend more time crying over than anything else, when it has made me feel inadequate and that I’m not very good at it. I know this is extremely damaging for me and lately I have tried to overcome it in many ways:
1. identifying the deep reasons behind the value I place on my job, my need to feel I am doing it well
2. distancing my emotions towards my job, trying to find peace and see it objectively rather than with such emotional attachment/dependence
3. my feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt at my ability to do my job
4. don’t give myself such high expectations, don’t compare myself to other colleagues who are far more experienced and settled in the job
5. making steps to move in a slightly different career direction (which I will be doing as of Sept 2012)
6. joining the positivity challenge so that I can see much more positivity in my life
7. recognising that my job is only one part of my life and there are so many other wonderful parts of my life, and so many other things I enjoy and am grateful for.
And today’s positive things: a lovely lie-in, a great day eating and drinking with friends, experiencing the culture of where I live (currently abroad), having time to read and relax.
Dear Jo,
Congratulations for creating and applying a few methods to overcome your frustration. I can see that you are gaining more power over yourself and your feelings in this situation. I truly believe that it is highly possible to have the job that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. You are getting closer to it! I do not know where you are writing from but here in France we are Sunday, so please, if you can, enjoy your weekend! ;) I will leave you with the quote from Oscar Wilde:
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” :D
Lots of good vibes for you! :hug:
P.
Hi Paulina, Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! I love the quotation! Whenever I feel frustrated about my job, I’ll remember those words. Good vibes to you too! xx
What is One Thing That Has Been Frustrating You Lately? How Can You Overcome It?
What frustrates me is that sometimes I do things halfway, I hesitate, change my mind… While it happens to me (hopefully!) to set up a goal and achieve it which feels very empowering, from time to time I am not fully determined to go for it and let my desire unfulfilled. Why this is a part of my experience? I think that I am curious, open and ambitious. I want to have most various experiences possible. I have a HUGE hunger for life and sometimes may lack wisdom to choose my priorities well and patience to take time to honour them. On the logical level I know that “Rome was not built in a day” and that every great accomplishment needs time and persistent, disciplined and regular effort. On the emotional level however, I can get frustrated quickly as the result does not appear immediately.
What can I do to overcome this?
1. Choose well and think BEFORE undertaking any project. Then act decisively.
2. Be more cautious in speaking about my goals. Keep it to myself. Let them grow deep in my heart before the world will hear of them.
3. Take baby steps, small simple actions that will help me to achieve the goal.
4. Focus on the process, let go of the compulsive desire to achieve the goal. The journey is more important than the destination itself. ;)
5. Monitor my progress and feel grateful for all that I am doing.
6. Practice, practice, practice!
7. Celebrate when done and learn from experience.
8. Accept that I am not perfect and be willing to make more mistakes. Seeing mistakes as victories and important learning steps will certainly help.
9. Be more playful and light-hearted. :angel:
10. Fully accept my need for adventure, various experiences and my hunger for life which sometimes make me want pursuing too many goals simultaneously.
Sounds simple and obvious, will try to implement it in my life. ;)
My last experience of this cycle concerns my subscription to the local Toastmasters Club. I went to one meeting to check this out and in spite of my initial enthusiasm I omitted the next one, surely by fear of having to improvise in front of the audience! I have already booked 2 hours to be present next time, bought a book about the art of public speaking. I think I will ask my boyfriend to give me some random subjects to talk about for 2 minutes and will do so. A small exercise in a secure environment before coming out in front of a larger group will hopefully make me feel better.. I am scared to death and… excited! ;)
Please wish me luck. ;)
Love,
P.
Hi Paulina, I’m glad to see someone else wrote a list of ways they can overcome things — it helped me and made me think more clearly to see all my ideas! And about your list… you have identified so many great ways to overcome your current frustration, good luck with fulfilling them!
I know what you mean about starting things and not finishing them — starting new things is really exciting and it takes perseverance to keep going. I think this happens to a lot of people, me included, but maybe if you think it is becoming a problem, it’s time to know how to finish what you start! I’m going to share with you a little poem which is from a book called ‘It’s never too late…” which gives wonderful short poems about making small changes in your life. Here’s one for you which might help you to persevere with your new interest in public speaking:
It’s never too late… to speak in public.
At first it’s daunting.
But take it in steps.
First, know your subject.
(This is the essential element.)
Then, order your thoughts.
Practise –
first alone, then before friends.
If you’re interested in what you have to say,
chances are so will your audience.
I hope this helps, Good luck with fulfilling your goals!
Jo
Hi Jo,
Thank you so much for your lovely comment and a nice poem. ;) It is very encouraging. What book are you talking about? I like the idea of small motivational poems very much. ;) Thanks a lot!
You’re very welcome :) The book is called “It’s Never Too Late… 174 simple acts to change your life” by Patrick Lindsay. There are also 2 more in the series, one about living in the moment, and one about happiness. All of them have these little poems about all sorts of different ways that can help you to get more out of life :) You can find them on Amazon, I ordered the living in the moment one for a friend and she loved it!
I’m glad you liked the poem too :)
My gosh this question came right at a right time. The one thing that really frustrates me is being used and alienated by someone you would not expect to used by. I understand that they’re going through a rough patch but that does not give them the go ahead to use people and vent out their frustrations on me. We all have dreams and ambitions which we would like to pursue and maybe are not there yet but, we can’t vent out our frustrations on others. That is quite inconsiderate.
I hate being used as ear for when someones happy but then a punching bag for when they feel the need to vent out their anger.
To overcome this, I intend on drawing away from this person because it does not seem that this relationship is beneficial. I believe that it’s run its course and as a result I need to respond appropriately. The way in which I will draw back from this relationship will be in a slow manner. This is because I have to live with this person and to a certain extent, I rely on them.
What I will do is slowly draw back, rather than fight. As and when that person notices that I have become somewhat distant I will tell her the reason and after talking with that person, I’ll then make a decision.
The reason I chose this step is that I want her to see that, that’s how people are soon going to respond to her if she continues like this. She needs to know that she is not the only person in this world. So I’d like her to feel alienated, just to show her what she’s getting herself into. I believe this will speak to her more than me actually trying to speak to her, because I have tried in the past and failed. Maybe if I show her that enough is enough she’ll get the message.
Hope she get’s the message before this causes irreversible damage. It has caused some damage just hope that it does not continue, that would be sad. But in order for me to continue on being a better self, I have to cut ties with everything that’s pulling me back.
Now I understand why Celes had to stop her relationship with her friend of 10 years.
The one positive thing of today was that for once in a long time I actually did something that I was putting off. :D Feel like a winner.
One thing that has been frustrating me lately is my lack of time management will power. I find myself trying different routes to self-discipline to increase my productivity but I don’t have the will power and motivation to stick to my productive activities. I am currently trying a 40 day habit building schedule for nine habits that I would like to incorporate into my everyday life and for every day that I miss the mark for that habit, I owe a $1. It’s been less than 10 days and I think I owe like $25 already. Another strategy I could use is to prioritize my everyday activities and projects and reward myself every time I complete my top 10 activities for the day. If I am not productive then I take something away that I like, for example, cuddling with my dog for the day. I’ll start today by using my organizer consistently.
Something positive about my day is that I hung out with my family all day, catching up with my mom, dad, and sister, playing with my twin baby siblings, and helping my 9-month pregnant mom clean up the house and rearrange her living room. Family time is always great.
I don’t know i find it extremely difficult to maintain my friendships. i no longer no if its them drifting from me or me over analyzing people. its just the things i believed you were supposed to feel with friendships like the trust and the being yourself i have never had and its something i really crave. steps?? i bet if i weren’t so busy and i was able to go to events that people invite me to i wouldn’t have this problem, but i’m starting to think maybe its a little more than just that. i washed my hair and listened to music with absolutely no other sound in my house, most zen moment i’ve had all week. :)
oh please comment i am really curious on your opinions!!
I can tell that from having the same close five girlfriends for almost a decade that it’s difficult to maintain the same type of intimacy you had from the beginning because people change and we get caught up with our own personal lives like marriage, jobs, kids, new hobbies, etc. But these friendships that are bonded with wonderful memories will withstand time and as long as you make an effort to hang out once a month to do something special, it’ll help maintain that special connection that we all seek. Good luck with all your close friends :)
The most frustrating thing lately in my life is my crying!!! Grrr…. I am 51, and yes, menopause is here. I do not accept that as the reason, however. I am the sole caregiver for my 87-yr old mother. She has end stage congestive heart failure and a hospice nurse comes twice a week. I am also the proud owner (sarcasm) of a neurological disease called acute disseminated encephalomyelitis (ADEM.) I have neuropathy which is very painful. I developed this in 2006.
If this isn’t enough…..my brother in law passed away on Monday from blood cancer and my 12 yr old great niece is fighting cancer also.
If the dog walks in and brings some mud, I get frustrated and cry. If my mom is feeling bad and we can’t go out to the store, I cry. If my teenage sons bring me a form to fill out at the moment they need to leave for school, I get angry and I cry. If I see a sad commercial on TV, I cry. I DON’T WANT TO CRY!!!
How do I overcome this? No, really…how do I overcome this? I could ask everyone to not get cancer or die or be a teenager, but I am choosing to accept the help from My Father. I am committed to spend time with Jesus every day, reading the Bible and applying its principles to my life.
The most positive event of my day was talking to my sister and learning she is coming to visit next week.
I’m sorry to hear your situation. Sounds like a lot of challenges are going on right now but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. These challenges are temporary and it sounds like your mother was such a wonderful mother for a daughter to take full responsibility of them at this point. I hope your emotional state gets better every day little by little :) I’ll be thinking of you and wish you the best!
I’m getting frustrated with the clutter in my dining room. I have household help one morning a week, and we’ve been working on clearing the clutter. But in between bouts of decluttering, the clutter spreads back into the space we’ve just cleared.
Part of what spreads is stuff that I take out to go through so I can get rid of what I don’t need or want any more. Then I don’t have a place to put what I’m keeping except back with the stuff I haven’t gone through yet.
Part of the clutter is projects I’m working on; I leave those things out because if I don’t, they get buried in the other clutter elsewhere and become yet another unfinished project.
I have an idea I want to try: using bags. There are a bunch of things on the table that get shifted from place to place. Because they are different types of things, I am going to put them into separate bags. Then I will designate a place upstairs for them to go temporarily. Since I can’t carry them up myself, I will have someone else do it and while I wait for that person to come home, I’ll make sure that there is space available.
I also need to work towards making sure that the upstairs space doesn’t become a clutter dump.
A positive thing that I have noticed today is that the amount of clutter really *is* becoming less, it’s just happening more slowly than I would like.
I’m late to this but I wanted to share because day 3 was really relevant to what happened yesterday.
The thing that’s been bugging me on and off is my boyfriend’s tendency to short change himself – to be really down on himself. It was really annoying me and I kept giving little lectures on how to behave in a way that shows he thinks better of himself (but that wasn’t fixing anything). I accidentally stumbled on a better way to communicate the message to him and that was my positive thing for the day – it happened again and instead of getting annoyed I focused on how much I love him and so instead of lecturing, I explained how wonderful he was and how it broke my heart to see him undermine himself time and again. Well! It was like a light went off for him. I don’t know how things will go from here but it was definitely a step forward. Wonderful stuff! :)
What is one thing that has been frustrating you recently? How can you overcome it?
Lately I’ve been getting a lot of stress because my exams are getting closer and I’m scared I won’t be able to go to the university I want. I’m not pushing myself hard enough and that makes me even more stressed. My baby step will be to make an everyday schedule for my studying and revision.
Positive thing for the day: Today was a nice day outside and I walked a lot. Plus I did great on my math test.
What is One Thing That Has Been Frustrating You Lately? and How Can You Overcome It?
—
My mom’s attitude. She’s always getting frustrated and mad at everything around her.
Every now and then, the kitchen sounds like it’s entering the final stages of the self-destruct mode. Doors are slammed, things are thrown all of a sudden. I peek out to see what’s going on and if help is needed, but I am rebuked and showered wiwth glares and harsh words in already harsh Cantonese. Talking about it later, she probably just wanted the groceries to fly into the fridge by themselves. Though if anyone tried to organize the fridge, she’d reorganize it later and grumble the whole time— so the rage is possibly inevitable.
I am used to her anger by now. I grew up getting all that attention, saving the others. So when I see the flaring temper, I try to assuage it. I don’t want her to be angry, especially given her blood pressure. I want her to have happier stories to bring back home from work— less confrontations and backstabbing. I wanted her to smile, be happy, and love life.
But I’m done. After all these years, I can see she doesn’t want to change— especially with her saying recently she’s too old to learn/ change.
All these years, my father has just acquiesced and did what he could to tolerate. But I didn’t get it— silence means she should continue her self-harming behavior, right? But now, I’m over it.
If she wants to be an irate bitch, I can’t do anything about it. I can just make the most of my time with her. I didn’t want to be like my brother and dad and just stay silent— but now, maybe that’s best.
At least they talk and don’t fight, even if I feel the conversation is one-sided and lacking at times.
It’s hard. But what I do doesn’t help, maybe even hurts when I explain. I guess I will follow the adage with her, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it” with emphasis on “nice”.
I just hope I’m making the right choice, even if I’ve had 5 or more years thinking about this.
—
A positive thing that happened to me today? I exercised!! I wish I exercised daily… and sometimes I exercise for days in a row. But usually, I don’t exercise. So I’m proud with myself, one step at a time! Or one crunch/push-up at a time for me I guess! C=
I commute to work everyday. One thing that frustrates me lately is the way some passengers behave inside public vehicles like talking too loud, setting the tone of their phones too loud and some more behaviors that show being unmindful of other passengers. :angry:
I just tell myself every time I get irritated that it`s not my problem but theirs, being not knowing how to behave in public vehicles and thank myself that I know how important proper behavior is. :clap:
If you’re faced with that everyday I can imagine how it may start to take a toll. Here’s an idea that might make the commute more tolerable. Every time something happens that you feel start to annoy you. Come up with a story for the cause and give the individual the benefit of the doubt.
For example, someones says something very loud and rude to another passenger. Your story could go like this: The persons name is Ben and he’s on his way to the hospital to see his dying father. They’ve had a shaky relationship for the past 10 years because of how busy Ben has been with work. Ben thought he had all the time in the world and can’t believe the doctors are telling him that he has less than a month left before losing is last parent.
Not all your stories have to be sad. They can be uplifting, exciting, and adventurous. The point is that it will hopefully dissolve any dislike and make room for an entertaining and understanding ride.
Another thing you can do, is show people how its done. Holding doors open, giving up your seat to an elderly person, giving someone a piece of gum, or something completely out of the ordinary. Not only will you feel good, you might inspire or change someone’s life for the better. :)
A thing that I have always found frustrating is the trash that some people leave on the streets, in the parks, in nature….I’ve always found it bothersome and it can make me really frustrated at times. I do like cleanliness and order and that is one of the reasons I am bothered by it…another is that I love nature! I feel the need to protect and preserve it! we’ve actually found our own ecological project, back in 2008, to implement recycling habits in the local community of Cluj-Napoca and to spread environmentally friendly behaviors. It went really well but it is just the start! I think that it bothers me so because I see at as a lack of caring and respect and I can not fathom it.
Other little things that I have done about it is to talk with the people that I saw throwing thrash, picking it up when I saw it, recycling myself…but I still get upset over it from time to time..
The best thing about today was the beautiful walk I took in the park today…the weather finally warmed up, we had a sunny day, just perfect for meditating outside and listening in the sounds of nature. So peaceful and relaxing! :)
I was recently laid-off and it’s frustrating trying to find a new job. I have been in the mortgage business for 14+ yrs and I have been laid-off more times then I can count inthe past 8 yrs. I’m over it and need to find a new job in a new field so that this doesn’t keep happening over and over again.
I am praying about it and writing in my journal every day for guidance on what my heart s desire is. I’m really searching for my passion and want to follow the path that is right for me.
Today was a great day because I got to go seea friend I haven’t seen in 2 months. It was wonderful to see her again. :dance:
The things that have been causing frustration lately are rather minor I think. One of the most frustrating is about when people ask where I’m going after I graduate. It’s not the question because it’s a rather standard question for grade 12 students. It’s frustrating that when my mom is there, she always answers people when they ask why I want to go to the Netherlands (a bit atypical for a Canadian living in Indonesia, it’s just not usually done). She always makes it sound like a joke and it irritates me because the reason is completely serious.
I should probably fill in about the reasoning because it’s a rather empty little rant without context. The reason I plan on going to the Netherlands is because I love my boyfriend (we’ve been together for three years) and so I want to be in the same country as him. Fair enough right? The little snag is that his parents are forcing him to go to school in the Netherlands (his homecountry) because of reasons.
Other reasons for me wanting to go there are that Canada is boring (in that you have to drive for ages to see anything different, which is bad for my wanting to be an artist), the culture/lifestyle of the Netherlands, the scenery and my childhood dream of going to art school in Europe (Which I would never really have considered acting on if I didn’t have a better reason)
I think I’m going to mention to my mom that her comments bother me and ask her not to make fun of my decision (she does understand my reasoning and everything but I don’t appreciate it when she jokes about it when explaining to others).
The highlight of my day today was going to my friend’s mad tea party (her birthday party). It was quite fun, especially since I’ve not gotten to spend much time with people lately. It was all sorts of random.
One thing that has been frustrating me lately is my projects. I have too many projects in my hands and I am hopping from one to another mid-way. All of them seem very important to me. I don’t know which one I should finish first.
How Can I Overcome It?
Take some deep breaths, relax, freshen up my mind and use the 80/20 rule that I learned during 30DLBL.
One positive thing about My day
I had lunch with my parents. I do it daily, but usually all of us are busy in our own activities so we silently eat and leave whereas today we had a great conversation.
One thing that has been frustrating me lately is the lack of organization! In regards to my house. It’s never ending it seems and trying to get it all squared away overwhelms me, rather then looking at things individual i look as it as tho it’s a whole! A family of 6 seems to accumulate more then i ever anticipated and were packed in our current house like sardines! I have 4 sisters whom all have children older then my 2 year old twins.. they like to pass things along for me to use with them.. I APPRECIATE it honestly but it is to the point that i’ve been given so much stuff that by the time i realize i have it i’ve already bought what was needed lol.
The beginning of the week i informed them that altho i am thankful for their help it would be best to give it to someone who is going to get use out of it rather then i putting it in a closet for later use that never happens lol.. I am also returning the favor of helping my younger sister as well as 2 of her friends I’ve bagged up 5 bags of boy/girl clothes that my twins have grown out of or never even got to wear. It felt good to get those bags out to the garage for the trip to Ohio tomorrow.. Good riddens! haha!
A positive today would be… Today is the only day of the week my husband doesn’t have to work a full night just a few hours.. The only night of the week we actually get to fall asleep and wake up together! I definitely look forward to saturdays! :hug:
Lately my frustration is at work. Short staff, trying to fill those positions, the interviews, and most of all have to keep up with my work load. It doesnt matter how much I do is not enough. And besides frustration I feel incompetent and that is something I hate. :cry:
What frustrates me most now is that I still can’t find my life purpose. My life was so boring and I have a repeated routine everyday. I hardly smile and easy to get angry. I know I have problems with myself but I don’t know how to fix it. Then I happened to reach this blog a few days ago. I have read many articles and I really admire your amazing work, Celes! I have tried the method you mentioned to find the life purpose in 30 minutes. It actually worked but it seems the result is not right. When writing all the things popping up in my mind, I found something I forgot a long time ago, something I feel like doing. I think about it a lot, but I’m not sure that’s my life purpose. It’s just like something I like to do, not kind of passion, I really don’t know how to call it. I haven’t had the feeling like bursting into tears or something like that. I tried it more 2, 3 times but still can’t find the right answer. Because I feel very nervous, frustrated now, i don’t know what to do next. And I don’t feel like doing anything when I’m depressed :(
Positive thing today: I cooked a meal for me and my brother
I have to follow up from yesterday, telling my friend that I said how important she is to me. She says you’re going to make me cry, I feel the same way. Later in the day I received a beautiful rose arrangement from her stating you are my best friend and I love you–Wow!
My biggest frustration is my job. I manage a large medical office. Let’s just say that it’s a position that doesn’t deal with a lot of happiness. I’m the liaison for patients, staff, providers, hospital etc. It’s amazing how many people care only about themselves and even more so who sabotage team efforts in providing great customer satisfaction with a profitable business.
I have to say my office has made great strides in the 6 years I’ve been there. And I have to say that each day I do think there is improvement toward the team goal. But, it’s a long journey with many pot holes in the road and traffic jams:) I keep driving the bus forward every day though!
My day ended on a very positive note with a “date night” with my hubby! We enjoyed a little couple time, adult conversation and some great brews over yummy pizza:)
I should say to overcome this I feel I need to learn to not let all the negativity affect me personally with my tho
Sorry — with my thoughts. I take things too personally!!!!
Paula,
I understand completely. I am also Practice manager for Medical Clinics.
What is One Thing That Has Been Frustrating You Lately?
So one thing that has been very frustrating for the past three years is not being able to decorate my home. Nothing matches in my house and it makes me crazy. I am huge into interior decorating and I have been trying to build up a portfolio. So my husband and I buy up houses to fix up and then sell them to make an actual profit on them. Our house was the first one we ever bought. It’s nice and we did a lot of work on it. But it still needs a lot more work. Right after we bought this place we got three more to work on. So our house took the back seat and has been in “limbo” for some time.
Yesterday my husband mentions that he thinks it might be best to hold off on any type of decorating until we finish the house.
How Can You Overcome It?
Focus on my other hobbies. I have tons of things that I love to do. Interior decorating was always the first but now I have time to create other things too. Plus I have come to understand why he wants me to wait. So that helps.
A positive thing that happened yesterday was I never fail to come up with positive solutions after hearing something I don’t care to hear. Some situations may take longer but I always eventually come up with something. After my husband said we should hold off on decorating I was mad for about 5 minutes before I told him “it’s cool I have other hobbies and I’m creative.” Then I started telling him this huge list of things I could do instead.
Wow, I can only pick one thing?… In that case number one for me is work. I am a manager of a few departments in a hospital. Excessive meetings, projects, moments of conflict resolution, etc; there is just never time to devote to one topic to get it done. Multi-tasking to this degree just does not work well. I want high quality output all the time so rework later isn’t necessary.
Most times, I end up bringing work home, though not to complete but to reorganize.
I choose to see the good in everything. On the surface, things can seem so ugly & toxic but when you look deeper the positive qualities present themselves. The best way for me to handle the overwhelming load is to write. It begins as a brainstorming session then quickly develops into more a purposeful plan. Writing, journaling & blogging has help me keep my focus and balance. Without this, I’m afraid burnout would be inevitable. My number one personal goal for me is to be happy with whatever I’m doing. I realize this job isn’t healthy for me but until I stumble upon a new opportunity this meets the needs for my family.
Have an Incredible Day!
~D
I am nearing the end of school, will graduate in May. The amount of homework is overwhelming! My frustration is that I just can’t seem to take the bull by the horns and sit down and work on it whenever I have some time. I procrastinate until I’m really under the gun to get it finished! I keep telling myself to just keep at it and before I know it, it will be over, but I don’t seem to take my own advice. I always find something to piddle the time away and then do the homework when I’m way too stressed!
I really need to keep self-talking about the results of working ahead and not under pressure. This has been a constant frustration I’ve had since going back to school 2 1/2 years ago! Some how I have managed to get through, but it has been tough and mostly because of my procrastination with the homework thing.
Starting this morning, I’m going to work on my homework all weekend until I’m ahead of the game. Part of tomorrow’s positive post will be how much I got done today!
My positive thought for today: thank God that all of my family and friends are safe and sound after the awful storms yesterday!
Have a perfect and productive Saturday everyone!
For some time now I have been trying to find my inner self and get into the space where I know there is peace. I am frustrated that this is not happening. I have realised that I am hanging on to something – I don’t know what – and will not find what I am looking for until I have ‘let go’. There is obviously something I am subconsciously fearful of, but which I need to face up to and deal with. I am willing, and want, to do this. So I need to discover what it is. I am going on a retreat at the end of March and fervently hope that this is going to help me to start this process. It’s not going to happen overnight, but I know it will happen at some point. I have recently had 2 revelations about emotional things that have been causing me pain and these have become clear as day to me. So I have hope.
Positive things for the day? I had a good, deep conversation with my husband and I heard a beautiful piece of music on the radio that uplifted me. Both things, in their own way, made me feel better.
What frustrates me?
*Not seeing the results I had envisioned. (tend to set high goals for myself and get caught up in attaining the end result rather than taking time with the process)
*Having a job that involves me just sitting in one place. (I find that I feel SO much better when I’m moving around)
*I feel I have a lot of potential that is just waiting to burst forth but there are many things that hold me back and that’s frustrating.
*The fact that I don’t have the physical company of like-minded people. In the sense, I’d love to hang out with people passionate about changing their lives. Their energies keep me charged with motivation! (Ever since I joined PE, this need has reduced because I keep getting loads of inspiration and motivation from the people in PE. Thanks, Celes and thank you all)
*I’ve been struggling with the belief that money controls all and without it there is not much you can do.
*Pressure from parents and society that scares me into not living my life the way I truly want. (Parents are religious but I’m just spiritual which is by some people viewed as sinful or weird or something like voodoo. Go figure! >.>)
ANYWAY, at the crux of it all, I have a strong urge to live a certain way and do certain things. But things like my limiting beliefs and fears and in some cases, unfortunate circumstances, prevent me from actually doing so. This is my problem but the good news is I’m already working on it. Thanks to PE, I’ve worked out about 25% of it in just 2 months. I have a long way to go but at least I know now that I’m going somewhere. I’ve been setting goals for myself and using the Best Life forums to keep a track of my progress and I shall continue to do so. :D
Something positive about today:
1) I’m getting more and more stuff ticked off my to-do list.
2) Just a few days back I lapsed into old habits (lazing around) but I’ve picked myself up and today’s progress is better than yesterdays.
3) I just started using Evernotes(Thanks, Squiggle!) and its been a great help in getting things organized and keeping a track of my many goals. Cuz although I’m focusing on just a few right now, I needed to write down, prioritize and categorize the other goals that I can leave for later.
The thing that frustrates me lately is my capability of making my decision right as everything has good part as well as worse part. i am still struggling for the solution. Till then i plan follow my elders advice. I want to be like a person with distinct personality and complete in myself (independent)
I’d say that’s pretty similar to my own problem. In addition to your idea of following the advice of your elders, I’d say you should also spend time to appreciate yourself more. Plus, keep in mind that sometimes in life it is impossible to make the right decision. In these cases, let go of worry, do your best and if you fail, appreciate the fact that you have one more enriching experience to add to your list, and if you succeed, celebrate and then go for the next big thing! :)
Good luck!!
thanks Sejal.
About a year ago, I always had something in my mind, I wanted to solve problems as soon as possible and that was very stressful for me. Frustration was a feeling that followed me everywhere, and it got to a point when I just couldn´t take it anymore. I decided to change into a more patient person.
I´ve learned to wait until the right time arrives. If there is something that is “not right” I analyze why and see if there is something I can do about it that vey moment. If I can do something, I do it, if I can´t I forget about it until I find all the pieces of the puzzle. I´ve found that if I just let some time pass by, things get solved much more easily than if I keep worrying about them or trying the impossible to solve them.
Meditation has helped me a lot. I´m not stressed about things any more, there is always a solution, a way to solve things, to change them if I´m not happy with the way things are. So I don´t let anything get in my nerves any more. When bad things happen to me people ask me how can I be so relaxed and even happy. I´ve learned that worrying and complaining don´t get me anywhere. And that there is ALWAYS a solution.
There are things that I want to improve in my life, but I´m not letting them get to the point of frustration. I know I have to do them, and I know I´ll find the right time.
So for the task today I´m going to get new meditations, which is something I´ve been meaning to do for a while now. And I´m also going to clean and re-decorate my meditation space. Since meditation is what is helping me to overcome obstacles, I´ll work on it today.
One positive thing that happened today… I went to a place where people sell second hand books very cheap. I hadn´t been there in like forever because this place is far away from my house. So I was very happy to finally be able to go there to buy a book. A man started talking to me while we were looking at the books and he recomended me one that contained short stories. He said it was very good and that it teached you things about life. Since I hadn´t found any book that interested me, I bought it. I plan to start it as soon as I finish the one I´m reading now. I had a great time talking to that man, and I thank him for recommending me a book.
Day 3
One thing that is frustrating me in my life at the moment (1 among many things lol) is my weight. Many years ago, I got to a point where I knew I had to lose weight and I did it (I probably lost about 20 kilos + and was happy with my new size.
However, I have over the years put the weight I lost back on (and probably then some). Last year I joined Weight Watchers and lost about 12 kilos, but since I have become unemployed, I find myself in the same rut again.
How can I overcome this? I have already spoken to a friend of mine and we are looking at starting a Life makeover group amongst family and friends that may want to be involved. :dance:
I have also started a personal development diary for myself, so I think I will write down some simple goals that I would like to achieve and some ways that I can exercise that won’t cost me a lot of money.
I have also just found on Google images a picture of a kilo of body fat. I will pop this in my purse and diary etc so I see it when I go to make less than good choices.
I am also going to get out my timer and pedometer, so that when I exercise I have something to go by and I am going to get back to my habit of charting my progress on Facebook and my Blog (even if it is just for myself)
This is good for a start……looking forward to day 4
Action Step for today – to get out my personal development diary and start on those goals and list :D
my positive thing for today is I moved out of my comfort zone even though I was hesitant and now I know where I stand with someone who I was afraid to ask . :clap:
The idea of a life makeover group with friends and family sounds great! It´s so much easier to achieve your goals when there are people around you that are working on the same thing.
I wish you luck!
Oh and I know the book is about women, but I thought you might find it interesting. It is called “the cinderella pact” and it is about three friends who decide to lose weight together. I think there is also a movie about it.
Thanks Elezhara so much for your kind words and encouragement. I will check out the book and the movie. It’s cool that it is for females because my real name is Rachel and I have only used the name Oscar for my posts lol (Oscar is what I call my critical inner voice that I am trying to be rid of – Oscar the grouch :) )
Take Care.
Rachel
I love your friends and family make over group idea! If you don’t mind I might try to steal it for myself (after I graduate, see my post). I also love that you go by your inner voice name, what a great way to deal with it, you gave it a name!
Have a great day and may all your goals come true, one minute at a time.
Lory
Thanks so much Lory for the reply and the encouragement. For sure, steal the Makeover Group idea. It comes from an idea that Cheryl Richardson started (she is a life coach). There is even a book on the subject called Life Makeover I think from memory and over 52 weeks there is something new each week to do and there is a section on how to set up your own group.
With the idea of naming my critic, I read the idea somewhere, it’s supposed to help you take some of the power away from it and make it easier to combat.
Good luck with your study and I hope everything turns out the way you want it to after the challenge.
Take Care
Rachel
many things frustrate me,like to lose weight maybe to quick,negativity from other people,materialisme,my perfectionisme,but it will grow if I put a lot of focus on it and then I can feel a bit gloomy,so I don’t.
How I overcome it: I’m startint to excersice,eat healthy,stay away from negatiev people or ignore them or change the subject.Let go of the control and see what the outcome will be.
Miranda,
I know how hard it must be for you as I am dealing with a lot of the things that you are in my own life. I am so glad that you have taken the first step and joined the challenge and I hope that it really helps you to fulfill your goals.
Take Care Rachel (Oscar)
;)
You’re very nice,thank you for your support. :)
What is one thing that has been frustrating me lately? How can I overcome it?
It is very complicated and easy to talk about it. It is the relationship that I have with my family. It feels like I cant do anything and like I cant make a decision on my one even though I’m 19 now. It feels like I don’t have their support over anything and it just feels heavy. I’ve try to talk to them more than once but the conversation looks like goes on the same direction every time. Like a song on replay. I don’t really feel it to start talking to them again and I don’t know what to do.
So the question what can I do to overcome it is a question I don’t know how to answer. :(
Hi.I think there are two ways. :)
If that decision is something good for you, your parents shouldn’t stop you but support you. Maybe they worry that it’s not something good for you or do not know enough about it. That’s where fear for your well being probably comes from.
It is hard to be at that age when you are neither on your own and neither want your parents to decide for you. The only things I used in such situations are arguments, really really strong arguments.So my family understand why I want to do certain things. The last thing to do is to give up. They are your family and will be even after arguing. You must stand for yourself and tell all that’s on your mind and in your heart.
The second way, but only if you 100% sure it will be all ok, is to do things anyway. Whatever you planed , do it, tell them later (if the plan above didn’t work). This is risky but some people did great things without anyone’s support, maybe that is your path too. :)
This is all from experience …me, my boyfriend, parents,friends… Whatever you want in your life, it is your will to take it or not.
p.s.Sorry for long explanation and my weak English ;)
I appreciate every word you said. They were very good advices and I promise I’ll do my best to do so. Thank you. :hug:
I’m glad.I hope you’ll do well. :hug:
Jola,
Hang in there (although I know it’s easier said than done). I have just turned 40 and I had that sort of relationship with my Dad for pretty much most of my life. (I lost him 3 years ago to cancer).
I also have the same problems you described with some of my extended family (I’m sure a lot of them think I am still 3 and also they are not even my parents but are always giving you a lecture or THEIR opinion when it’s got nothing to do with them)
With goals or things that you are trying to achieve, are there friends that you can get your support from, I found this helped me a lot.
I’ve also found sometimes you just have to give yourself support, praise and reward if you know that you aren’t going to get it from others, just start with baby steps and perhaps I don’t know if you would even like to look at the help that support groups might give you.
I feel (and this is only my opinion) don’t give up on your family. Keep trying (But in the end it is totally your choice) I know when my Dad was told he was going to die, I was very angry at him for not going to see someone earlier.
But towards the end I forgave my Dad and made peace with him and I hope he forgave me. I also learnt a lot about him before and after his passing about what in HIS life had made him the way he was and why he did the things he did and made the decision he did and that he did truly love me underneath it all and had tried to support me in his own way (I learned this from a talk with my sister)
Once people are gone it’s too late and I regret it everyday that I let things go on so long. I just don’t want anyone to feel the same regret that I do.
I apologize if I have been long winded lol but I saw your post and I really hope I may have helped you in some small way.
Take Care Rachel (Oscar) :mrgreen:
You know, my friend support is always there, and there are my parents telling me that I listen to my society more than my own family and they are the one who push me to the wrong way. Sometimes they make me wonder if they’re right and always mess my mind. But in the end i guess nothing is more clear than what I truly want from my hart and the best way is to support myself.
People say that this complicated relationship is because my age and everything will cone better with time passing. I hope that by then I hadn’t lose much of the opportunities and thing that I I love to do.
Jola,
That is great that you have friends who will support you. You are so right; nothing is more clear than what you truly want in your heart and soul and what you think is the best way to support myself.
Relationships can be so tough when you’re young and especially when they are with people who are major authoritarian figures in your life (like your parents and family) You’re right, it can be really hard to know what to do.
But I do hope with time, things will get better for you and that you achieve all of your goals and dreams that you wish for (I’m pulling for you)
Take Care.
Rachel :bow:
The positive think of the day was that I had the opportunity to meet with my Friends, go to my cousin’s event and finally find out what would be my present for mothers’s day :) O not to forget that i had this log phone conversation with My friend who is far away had the opportunity to reconnect with her. It was a nice day :)
Oops, forgot the positive thing of the day. Hmm, it’s noon here and I haven’t done any of the chores yet, but there is one positive thing since this morning…my temperature is bit lower today and I feel less pain in my muscles.It looks like I’ll be healthy again in few days :)
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