This is Day 20 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 20 of 21DJC! :) We now have 1 day left till the end of the challenge!
Yesterday’s question was: “What Words Best Describe You?“. (Read the responses.)
Here are some beautiful answers from our participants:
““Honest” and “Jolly” are the two words which describe me the best. Being Honest to myself and to the world gives me a satisfaction from deep inside. :) It really feels great to be Honest. :) As my nature is very jolly, I get mix with everyone….most of them always tells me that “you are a jolly and lovable person”. Obviously being lovable makes me proud of myself. :) ” — Kamal
“This one is easy- my word would be Sunshine Kid, because that is my nickname! There are other words, too like charming, optimistic, smiling, smart-worker! But nothing comes close like my nickname.” — Anu
“Forgiving and unconditional acceptance. I always try to see the soul people rather than what they look like. I tend to read the heart. Creative and eccentric. I want to be memorable, if only to myself.” — Mary Jane Hoover
“Creative. Positive. Imaginative. Caring. Optimistic. Individualistic. Compassionate. Sincere. Thankful. Artistic. Mindful. Honest. Understanding. Loyal. Smart. Original. Thoughtful. Alive. Clean. Respectful. Visual. Geeky. Appreciative. Empowered. Musical. Loving. Pesty. Inspired. Tall. Caucasian. Male. Inquisitive.” — Glenn
“If I could pick a few words that I think describe me, I would choose:Patient, Honest, Optimistic, Creative, and Loving.” — Kimberly
“Godly, Christian, cerebral, analytical, spiritual, curious, philosophical, responsible, loving, organized (wasn’t always ), deep-thinking, caring, adventurous, trusting (too trusting), tired, happy, positive, strict, kind/generous, forgetful, anxious, semi-jaded, reliable, humorous, exacting, not into following rules and norms.” — J
“Observant, intuitive, adventuresome, playful, dreamer, lover, mostly happy, always seeking to experience more of everything.” — Charles
“Integrity, discipline, loving, honest, optimistic, adventurous, trusting, reliable, organized, self-expressive” — Aparna
“Positive. Appreciative. Compassionate. Considerate. Helpful. Caring. Philosophical. Spiritual. Dreamer. Dependable. Responsible. Have a sense of humor. Quiet. Shy. Friendly. Adventurous. Makes hasty decision sometimes. Cannot stand people who will not put in an extra effort in whatever they’re doing. Neatness freak.” — Asni
“”Restless until its done” are the words that describes me. I am one person that will never go to sleep before i get whatever i have to do, completed. I am like a child that will never stop nagging their parents until they get that new bike they just seen in the window shop.” — A. Sendijja
“I am self critical but becoming kinder to self, shy but friendly, neurotic but great fun, introspective but friendly. […] I am a work in progress and I’m happy with that.” — Lottie
Words which I feel best describe me are… Passionate. Driven. Genuine. Heart-centered (in terms of following my heart/intuition and being love-based). At peace; Living in the now.
With that said, let’s now move to our 2nd last question for 21DJC!
21DJC Day 20
Today’s question is a precursor to one of the important tasks we are going to work on in the upcoming Live a Better Life in 30 Days Challenge. During next month’s 30DLBL, we will be unearthing the limiting beliefs blocking us in our goals, dissecting them one by one, and working to reverse them into empowering ones.
But for now:
What Limiting Beliefs Are You Holding On To?
Every one of us has limiting beliefs that hold us back from reaching that next level in life. What are yours?
(Today’s question can be found in #65 of 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life.)
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Belief))
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Not having the support that I need, not having enough money to make it reality, not being responded in the same way, i don’t know……………simply not becoming, cause I’m doing something wrong, but yet again something wrong is better than nothing so, stop thinking and start acting, it doesn’t mater where it takes you as long as it moves you from the place where you are stuck to.
Number one for me is that there’s specific things I have to go and do if I want to have a romantic relationship with someone my own age, and it usually involves going clubbing or going picking up girls while I’m out, which I don’t really resonate with. I have a lot of garbage to clear up in the area of money. I also still think (though don’t agree with it 100%) that a man like me must be very masculine with no emotional sensitivities, or it’s wrong for a man to have more inner feminine than is absolutely necessary to function. I also have my doubts as to how well I’d be able to relate to my parents and my sister, and I have limited beliefs when it comes to what skills I can develop, or what skills I think it’s appropriate for a person of my education to develop. (I have an Economics degree, so if we’re talking professional skills it’s more to do with data analysis, constructing arguments and so forth). Another limiting belief of mine is that our worth is measured by our contribution, though I may be close to changing that soon.
I could go on, but those are the things that come to the surface. I’ll remember this one, actually, cos it will be useful when I do my Life Wheels every quarter.
I often believe I am unable to generate new work for the business that I work for. As a result, my portfolio is probably decreasing, although last year I managed to hold my own. I am starting to believe in myself a little bit more as I have had some success in this area just recently, but I still believe it is just too difficult for me to expand my portfolio. However, our MD expands his continually, and therefore it can be done, but I am scared of failing or embarassing myself and therefore I do not put myself out there in case I mess it up. If people ask me about work, I answer quickly and then change the subject, particularly when I’ve had a drink. If I’m sober, I don’t mind being on the spot as much. I particularly don’t like answering to a group of people, but one on one, I don’t mind as much. I think I am able to perform a service for small businesses, but not bigger ones – but it’s the bigger ones which would generate bigger fees and gros my portfolio quickly. This is my biggest limiting belief which holds me back. If I didn’t have it, I would have a bigger portfolio, have more money, and be able to buy the dream home in the picture!!
I also believe that fellow directors are better than me, I put myself down a lot. To some degree, I’m also not sure that people will like me if I speak up so sometimes, at parties, I don’t speak at all. I am better in smaller groups, and shyer in bigger groups. As a result I don’t put myself forward enough always which could lead to more work. I often drink in order to alleviate the nerves, but then you can end up embarassing yourself because you’ve drunk too much – which can be even worse – although living in the drink culture in England as I do, little chance of that maybe!
My limiting beliefs are ridiculously long and negative but I know I can overcome them if I put my all into it and I will.
Business/Career/Studies: My room is too tiny. Writing too much by hand or computer hurts my hand. I can not make my room ideal with my personality because my little brother will break everything and mom doesn’t allow me to put some stuff I like. I have no freedom. Nobody understands some things I really can’t do them. If people knew my family maybe they would give up on their dreams too. I can’t find another job. I’m sick and tired of everything. I can not study what I want because the university that gives the bachelor is in the other side of the island. I suck at math.
Finance/Wealth: I don’t know how to find money. Nobody cheers or helps for me. I’m gonna be stuck in my mom’s house till the day I die. Nobody cares about my stories. People just think I’m just an idiot who’s hiding her inner desires in her stories but I’m not, my stories ARE my passion.
Health/Fitness: I can’t be lactose-vegetarian because I’m too skinny, lactose intolerant and allergic to nuts and dried fruits. I sleep early but I hate my bed. Going outside is a huge project because convincing mom to allow me is hard.
Social/Friends: I only have one friend in this world that accepts me for who I am but I’m very different from what society would accept of me. I can have more friends but I limit myself hiding from a person…
Family: My family never spends quality time together so I can’t have my ideal family. My sister is never home. My brother is cold and mean. My little brother is a bully. My dad doesn’t live with me. My mom is depressed and I want her to be happy. I am too lay to achieve my dreams.
Romance/Love: I am too cold towards love. I am not interested in children. My spiritual beliefs would prevent anybody from marrying me. I am ugly.
Recreation: My most important recreations are looked down upon. I don’t have time to do all I want.
Contribution: I know I can contribute but my lack of trust limits me.
Personal Growth: Lack of curiosity.
Spiritual: Lack of open mindedness and excessive fear.
Self-Image: I am ugly, weird and boring.
Reading this list all over again I feel motivated to improve this areas in my life. I learned it’s important to know our negatives thoughts as well in order for self-improvement to take place. :cool:
I’m happy to say I’ve cleared many of my limiting beliefs – I am not good enough, not interesting enough (I used to be quite introvert and don’t feel at ease in parties doing small talk), I will not be able to progress in career as I am a woman.
After some thinking, I now realise I still have one important limiting belief – that I will not be able to lose weight or rather I will not be able to lose all my excess weight. I’ve lose 25kg previously when I was in my twenties, but I’ve gradually put on a lot of weight. My limiting belief is that it’s harder to lose as I’m over 40, that with my career and kids, I don’t have the time to do what’s required.
That somehow “it” won’t work this time.
I believe there is not many meaningful and interesting things to do in the city I live in, other than spending time with my spouse and to read and write. There is only work and things to pass time.
There is not many like minded people with whom I would like to be friends with.
It is hard to find a decent person to have a cup coffee with and chat. I found a few I enjoyed spending time with then one did something horrible and the other I found more about and can’t be around that one either. Making friends is an easy task but, finding decent ones is another story. Keep searching you’ll find some friends that you relate too. Seek and you shall find a saying I am fond of.
I don’t always have limiting beliefs they do pop in on occasion. One would be I am not smart enough. This comes from me not doing my work in highschool because I was lazy. The teachers treated me like I was just a dumb kid even though I wasn’t. My main focus in highschool was boys and friends. I guess some of the teachers acting like that stuck with me some. I overcome it sometimes and sometimes it holds me back. It was after all some negative discouragement. I look back at my accomplishments and it helps me push pass the barrier of past discouragement. Thinking I am not good enough I want go to much into that. This comes from losing my dad at a young age. He was very sophisticated smart man that lots of people thought very highly of. He spoke four languages was an architect great personality, amazing dad. After he passed are social circle got really small and effected my confidence. I worked at the office he worked at there were a lot of amazing people like him and I didn’t fit in because I was shy. I was always outgoing but, after my dad passed I became more introverted. I have worked to overcome some of this. Feeling as though I am not pretty enough at times. This probably stems from a horrible relationship I was in. I have overcome what I went through because of bible study, giving it to God, and dealing with it. I dealt with it I didn’t try to act like it didn’t happen. I am a work in progress. There are times where I feel like something is discouraging me but I know to stay postive and keep going and not give up. On the other hand I know the possibilities are endless and I believe in myself even with any discouragement. I have heard all kinds of amazing stories. I do have belief in myself I guess it doesn’t matter what feelings or discouragement come my way. I believe I can do anything if I put the work into it. Discouragement may hold be back for a little while but it never keeps me from doing anything because of my belief.
What Limiting Beliefs Am I Holding Onto?
I have a bunch.
“I am alone.”
“I cannot make friends.”
“If I express myself I will just end up embarrassing myself.”
“I don’t have anything to say to people.”
“If it’s difficult I cannot do it.”
“I have failed at so many things in life so far. Things will continue this way.”
“Nobody likes me.”
I think I have gotten better at questioning these beliefs when they come up. Sometimes I think them or say them quietly to myself. I’ll ask myself why I think it’s true. Usually I really cannot come up with anything to support that belief.
Also remembering that I am not the only one who may feel this way helps a lot. Celes has mentioned in a couple of her articles to remember that other people may be going through the same issues you have. It’s helpful to remember that there are others, probably a lot, who have the same beliefs. If there a lot of people who feel this way then there are also a lot who have overcome these beliefs.
My limiting beliefs are all down to self-doubt. I think – I know – I could be so much closer to my goals, and so much freer, if only I didn’t hold myself back. In the past, I’ve had opportunities – work placements, courses etc – that I’ve wanted to do. Then I’d think about it some more after receiving the place/passing the exams, or try them out for a day, and panic that I’m not good enough, not talented enough, not pretty enough, and just…run away, or back out. I’d doubt myself and my abilities. I know this is one of my flaws, and have become a lot better over the years because of working on it in different ways (almost a different person in some respects), but sometimes the same seeds of doubt come creeping back, and stop me in my tracks. I know it’s all down to me – my family and friends are generally very supportive – but when such worries have been ingrained in your mind for so long….they’re difficult to remove. I know I need to forget about what other people think, and accept myself for who I am – no matter how “good” or “talented” that may be in the end – because I’ll achieve so much more, and will free up a whole host of time that could be spent thinking (and doing!) better things in the world.
I’m not good enough, i’m not skilled enough.
I don’t have enough money or time to do this.
I don’t deserve that.
fear of being blamed or crticize.
fear of mistakes. fear of loss. fear of being misunderstood.
At my age, I know I have some limitations. For one, I am no longer as agile as I was when I was younger, I can’t go through a lot of physical exertions for long. Second, I can’t have that mental capacity for academic endeavors like I had when I was younger. I was not born with the business and entrepreneurship skills that others have. I don’t have the physical attributes that I find desirable in others and all these put a limit to what I think I can accomplish.
.
I think there are many Limiting beliefs I am holding onto for instance not believing enough in myself. Thats the biggest thing…to believe in oneself. I Lack confidence for the fear of being judged bby other. I like being liked by everyone, as a result of which I like behaving a certain way so that people like me. But I have realized that when I actually ‘ TRY ‘ it totally backfires whereas the times when I havent done the act of ‘trying’ thats the only time people actually like me, adore me…and thats such a warm fuzzy feeling.
So from now on…I have decided to be more of myself. Just do things the way i would naturally do…without feeling inhibited. If I feel happy I’ll expressively show it…SHOW it…and if I think that there is something that I dont like I will say it in a way that the other party without getting offended understand why I make that point and how it is relevant. If I dont know about something I will Apologize genuinely and keep quite. And then if I feel bad, I will remind myself, That this was the right thing for me to do and I did a nice thing. Inspite of that if the other person shouts and loses temper, well then thats just there own problem.
I should know that I have the right to freely express myself. And not allow anyone or anything to bully me. One never bullies you, you let them bully urself. So yeah
1. Ill do things I want to do
2. Ill do them the way I want to do.
3. Ill make sure I do things that I believe I can’t do.
4, Ill do it with a positive and confident attitude.
5. I will have a strong back up of my reasons to do so.
6 but at the end of it all I will not be unreasonable and that careless
My limiting beliefs are:
– I am alone
– I can’t finish something I started
– I would fail
– It might be too late
– I am not doing it right
I believe that I am not good enough, not strong enough, not brave enough, not young enough. With my rational mind I understand that, for the most part, none of this is true. Unfortunately, my rational mind doesn’t always have the loudest voice in my head. I know the quality of my life would be enhanced if I were able to at least modify these beliefs, but so far they have managed to stay fairly well entrenched.
Limiting beliefs. Hmm… I don’t really want to think to hard about this one. But, I think one is, that just because I don’t have money doesn’t mean I can’t do what I am called to do. Another… that people won’t like me because I am so odd. That my lack of time is holding me back, when probably it’s my procrastination that is.
~That the world is a fair place.
~That people can be taught to think of others before they do something taking into consideration how what they are about to do will affect those around them.
~That I might cause pain to another by my thought of correctness
~That I am not good enough
~That I do not deserve to be happy/rich/successful/wise/etc…
~That if it was meant to be mine I would have it by now or be shown the path to take to achieve my goals
~That I can change the world…..
~That is a start anyway of the things that creep into my thoughts and make me question my abilities and rights to success.
It’s too late . . .
I’m too old . . .
There’s not enough time . . .
I’m too exhausted . . .
I couldn’t do it anyway . . .
I read the question late last night and had a busy day today and all of a sudden I´m realizing that I am one big walking self-limitation!
I limit myself, believing that:
– I do not need people
(Because otherwise I have to show who I am, and then I could be rejected…that’s surprising…I’m more insecure then I realized!)
– I don’t want to ask for help, because I am a strong person
(Hey, my mother had that one as well…I can take care of myself. It’s a very closed off attitude, where I limit myself in both learning and in being taught!)
– 90% of the curious/inquisitive questions I have, I never ask
(Why do I do that? I’m afraid people will think badly about me. I want to figure things out for myself. I have a hard time just relying on what somebody else says. But again I’m withholding myself from possibilities to learn and grow)
– I can’t small-talk in my daily language
(I get self-conscious and don’t know what to say or how to phrase it and then the moment is gone. The silly thing is that I am pretty much fluent in that language; I am using it daily, but still…. Guess I should start studying it again, so I build more confidence, but I don’t want to use more time on it at the moment)
– I think others regard me as boring/serious
(And therefor I limit myself in small talking, in asking questions. A good remedy would be to invest more time in myself; pursuing my interests, studying, meeting new people, being more active)
– I’m socially handicapped
(well, that’s how I felt after writing down this list and yes, some days I do feel that way, other days I’m on top of the world and being super-socially skilled)
– A core one, I was raised with, is the belief that money isn’t important. Yes, it is! Because money is the thing that can buy time, experiences, books, babysitters, concert tickets, plane tickets etc. That could very well be one of the underlying reasons for why I didn’t finish my education. (I am working on changing that)
In short: I’m standing in my way and don’t know how to get out of it.
It’s really great (and scary) to get these more clear, but now…how to work on them to permanently change them?
If I had to answer this 3 years ago then I would have said yes there are multiple limiting beliefs which holds me back.
But now I learnt so much from life that I don’t have any such beliefs. I don’t carry such limiting beliefs with me. I know that BELIEF is not the truth….its just what we BELIEVE.
I admit I am lost on this one.
Is it mainly because I am tired of the challenge (last days has been hard to me to focus on questions) or it is mostly because of nature of the question, I am not sure.
I have the feeling my really limiting beliefs, unfortunately I am not concious about yet.
Yes, of course, like all of you, I generally feel I am not good enough to do this, etc.
I generally also feel the opposite: I pretend something I am not really working enough to deserve it.
I wish I have a better perception on this.
Hmmm… don’t know whether it is coincidence or serendipity, but I was just reading a book that asks you to put down your goals and the fears that prevent you from reaching them. Apparently, seeing your fear written down lets you objectively analyse whether they are true or just mental blocks that hold you back! And help you in working around them. So, I’ve just spent this afternoon doing some serious self-reflection…
My main limiting beliefs would be something I’ve faced in the workplace:
1. You are a woman, and therefore uncommitted to success at the workplace. Why can’t people accept that women can be ambitious, even those who give first priority to family and friends? My talent and efficiency is NOT directly to the number of hours I put in at work, although I do recognize that success needs lots of hard work.
2. You are too young! (Thanks to Mark Zuckenberg, Justin Bieber and many others- this concept at least is easy to abandon!)
3. Rich people earn money by “wrong” or corrupt means.
To tell the truth, the first two combined can be a big block, because when the majority held it as a vice against me, I started doubting myself too! That maybe I wasn’t good enough, strong enough! And it IS difficult to break into the inner circle, when they are bonding over beer and sports, two things I have absolutely interest in… :(
But I am proud to say that I did work around it, and it’s taught me to work harder and smarter. l’ve learnt to the most knowledgeable expert in mu niche area, so that my efforts are hard to ignore, sideline or sabotage! I’ve learnt that sometimes challenges are opportunities in disguise and that sometimes we have to discard false modesty and blow our own trumpets in subtle ways!
The third was hardest, since it was ingrained by family- but i’m slowly learning to accept that even my parents can occasionally be wrong! But I’m trying to get over these stumbling blocks and reach my full potential.
I still do have some horrid moments of self-doubt, cynicism and despair, but I maintain a journal to get over it… Hopefully in another 5 years, i will be helping other young women with similar troubles! :angel:
Hi Anu, I can relate really well with the first two points. :D
Don’t give up; I’m sure you will be able to achieve all your goals.
I hate that I always have in the back of my head that I’m wasting my time and that I will waste my life because I don’t know what my purpose is and I’m scared to find out, I’ve tried the 30 minutes excercise but I still haven’t gotten the answer. I’m scared to figure it out cause it might be something impossible to me now and I feel lost.
Doubt and Fear of public failure.
I find that as i become more self-aware, and stopped ‘sleep walking’, this quote below becomes more and more true as a limiting factor:
“The enemy of great is good”
It’s hard to actually take that first step to pursue your passion in life, especially when your life is quite ‘comfortable’. Most of the time we are contented to stay where we are, telling ourselves that things are fine the way it is… and good by certain standards.
This makes it less attractive to strive for excellence, because doing so means we risk failure.
Fear of failure and fear of moving out of the comfort zone is my limiting factor i believe. This applies to most things like career, enhancing relationships etc.
— slowly working on this, taking steps w.r.t to my career, and trying to be more open and giving in my relationships :)
That I am not good enough and cannot possibly live up to my potential. I feel that I have many things going in my favor; however, I am afraid of so many things. Afraid to step out and make myself vunerable, afraid to take changes and possibly fail, afraid of not being accepted for who I am.
I’m not sure if I hold onto any limiting beliefs. Perhaps the one lingering belief I hold onto is the religious way I was raised. I have questioned it and fought against it my entire life. I was raised in a Church of God and several of the beliefs I don’t agree with. I no longer attend this church, however my children want to go, so I allow them to. I was raised that we are all accountable in God’s eyes for the way our children are raised so if we don’t teach them about God then that’s a ticket to hell. I guess deep down I still worry that maybe that’s correct and that’s why I allow my children to go to church. I would never force them the way that I was forced to attend. Yet, I won’t tell them they can’t go either. I want them to have freedom in this decision and decide for themselves how to perceive God. Where as I was made to go and heard my entire life how if we aren’t ‘saved’ through God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost then we will burn in a Hell for the remainder of our afterlives.
I suppose this is the only belief I question and sometimes frightens me and limits me with fear.
the belief that i can’t do anything right, that people are mean, that I will always be imbalanced, I’ll never have a happy balanced life because it has never been balanced, the belief that I will always have weight problems because I had them since childhood, the belief that I’m unlovable, unworthy of happiness and love, the belief that I made to many mistakes, the belief that I can’t change, I’m stuck with loneliness, nobody loves me, there is no point in changing or doing anything, I will always suffer depression, people are superficial, nobody understands me, my father is making it harder for me to lose weight
Hmm, not something I often think about. I shy away from it, because deep down i know there are “invisible things” that often trip me up, but I don’t feel I have the energy to start delving. Well, with this challenge I’ve embarked on delving in a small way and with researching meditation that’s another step.
1. I don’t feel worthy – somehow defective of success, etc.
2. I believe that I have to work HARD at everything
3. I believe in being generous, but don’t expect others to be generous toward me
4. I believe I’m less worthy every time I get angry at my children and hurt them in the process. I don’t latch onto the fact that it’s a learning curve both ways and that I always go back to rectify the situation and don’t leave them feeling that there’s something wrong with them.
5. I don’t think I’m good enough at my job although others think I’m great at it.
I’m not good enough. No one wants what I have to offer. Others can deliver much higher value and quality than I. I’m not quite ready just yet. I need to read one more book, take one more class, join one more group just to make sure I’m (going to) deliver the very best most nearly perfect product possible.
Having read some of the early comments, it seems that I am definitely not alone. So, as this goes into my journal, I’ll take note of at least one thing of value that I can share from my 70 years on this planet and that is that many if not most of us have at least sometimes felt or chronically feel inadequate, unimportant, unappreciated or that we have little to offer to the world that the world really wants.
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