This is Day 15 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 15 of 21DJC! :) We’re now in the 3rd and final week of our 21-Day Journaling Challenge!
Yesterday’s question was: “What Is Love?“. (Read the responses.)
Here are some beautiful responses from some participants:
“Love is faithful, it is everlasting, it is patient and kind. It’s an appreciation for another person in spite of or because of their faults and problems.” — Peggy
“Love means accepting a person for what they are. Love means that warm, happy feeling you get when you are near, or think about the object of your love. Love means feeling safe, and appreciated.” — Julia Shirey
“Love is feeling part of Something Greater than myself, a feeling of being “home” with myself in the Presence of that Greater Self. Love actually to me is feeling connected to The Source, the Place inside my Highest Self that exists simply because the Spark of Divine breathed me into existence. Love is the feeling of warmth I feel in my heart when I help others, or give freely to others.” — Brett
“Surprisingly, I find it hard to describe love in words or phrases. So move on to feeling and emotion. Upon reading or hearing the word ‘love’ if feel extremely happy and joyful. And I found when I’m happy and joyful. I’m feeling the emotion of love. I can smile towards others, nice to others, content, and at peace.” — Fiat
“Love is a total commitment to the ultimate good of the beloved.
Love is not a mere feeling… it goes beyond that, into wordless devotion.” — Prion
“Love to me right now is nothing more than feeling compassion for fellow humankind or earthlings. It fuels me for what I’m doing and with whom I’m hanging out or having a conversation.” — lotusbleu
“Love, to me, is the bond that connects me to everyone else in the world.” — Jeffrey Q
“Love is confidence; appreciation; acceptance; trust; communication; kindness; sharing. Love means giving second chances and working towards better self, with support and encouragement. Love means being geared up to do what drives you forward and never get tired of them.” — Viole
“Love for me means sharing caring respectful warm heart felt relationships, giving without conditions, spontaneity openness and frankness.” — Bob
“[Love] means to accept others and be accepted for who one really are. It means to stay and stick with somebody in the bad and the good, it’s to give without wanting and spend quality time together. … Love is making a silly random joke to put a smile on another person when everything feels like it will end, love is when you give it all up for another and love is when you feel loved and love in return. :heart: ” — fufu
“This is the first time I read all the comments before posting. So this smile on my face? That’s love. To get to know you and your deepest thoughts. Beautiful people with beautiful souls, thank you. :) ” — Andreea
“Love to me is when you know that you [are] not perfect and you don’t expect perfection from others. First you have to love yourself to love others. Loving others the way you love yourself. … Seeing all of someone’s good qualities as opposed to thinking about all their bad qualities. ” — Vanessa
“To me, love means accepting people as they are, not trying to change them into who you think they should be. Unconditional acceptance without judgment. Knowing when to hang on and when to let go. Unconditional respect without judgment. If understanding is not possible, having a true yearning to understand. Seeing someone’s eyes light up when they see you or vice versa.” — Stella Zorro
“Love to me is like a synonym for care and understanding…
Love is where no lies exist…..the faces of the two should have a spring water like clarity
Love is where no need for unnecessary pushing and fussing exists.” — ASLO
For me… Love is transcendent. Love is the universal link that binds all living beings together.
Love is what sets apart the living beings from the non-living things. Love is what we live for. Love is the reason we are alive. Love is the reason we will continue to live.
Love makes us grow stronger, greater, better, more beautiful, than we would be by ourselves.
Love is greater than anything there is in the world.
Love is what I have for all of you, and love is what keeps me going every day.
I love all of you.
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
21DJC Day 15
Yesterday we talked about love – what it is and what it means to us. Today’s question is about the emotion that’s on the other end of the spectrum – Pain.
What is the Most Painful Thing You Have Ever Experienced To Date?
Think back to all your life experiences to date. Can you point out one incident which has been the most painful to you in the past X years you have been alive? What incident was it? What happened during the incident? And why was it painful to you?
(Painful can be defined as anything that makes you feel sad, upset, sorrowful, depressed, pained.)
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Angry boy))
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Being “fired” (not rehired) for work because of reasons that were made up and had nothing to do with me. I felt personally violated and helpless.
Also, watching my then boyfriend, later fiancé (and now husband), go through a painful breakup with his past demons to move on in life and get to a better place (and us being able to be together for real). There were other people involved and a lot of other outside forces that I could not help him fight. For a huge part of it, all I could do was stand by and watch (from the other side of the world, too), trying to be supportive. The feeling of helplessness, once again, was dominating.
These two things happened around the same time (sort of overlapping) and it took a long time to be able to move on, even though we will always be scared. However, I do not wish to have any of this undone. It made us both stronger, both individually and as a team.
The most painful thing I have ever experienced to date was the separation of my parents. This was because after their separation my self esteem was highly affected, I had various attempts of committing suicide. I did not see life as important any more, I never saw if my parents loved me because back then, my dad would say harsh words to me; with regards to what my mother had done. He would abuse me and say negative words to me that really affected how I looked at my self and my relationship with other people. But at least with concerned friends I have been able to work things out and work on my self worth. Praise be to God!
A few years back, we had a beautiful home that we loved in a great neighborhood, and an awesome daycare for our two toddlers. I’d take the kids to one of our three neighborhood parks everyday after picking them up from daycare. We went to basketball games, events, concerts, plays, everything. It was a life we had always wanted and worked hard to get. But in the fall of 2007, our finances took a HUGE hit. We were trapped in a life we could no longer afford and we were losing everything bit by bit. It got to the point that we could no longer afford our two biggest expenses, the house and daycare, at the same time. That following year, we sent our kids to spend the summer with my parents so that without the expense of daycare, we could afford the house until we could unload it without ruining our credit. It only took two months, but the damage was done.
Every time we’d call our kids, our 3 year old wouldn’t talk very much, and when he did, he’d simply ask when they were coming home. Our 2 year old would say over and over again, “Mommy, I can’t see you!” because talking on the phone just wasn’t working for her. When we went to pick them up, they were skinny and sad. Our kids looked as if they felt that we had abandoned them. And when we got them back home, things were still not much better financially, so I felt that we’d done all this to our kids in vain.
We were all crammed into a small, cheap, wretched apartment. The toilet leaked relentlessly from where it met the floor. 2-inch long cockroaches would emerge every night. People would fight in the parking lot and our deaf neighbors were extremely loud because they couldn’t hear themselves. It was so horrible it was almost funny. There were no parks nearby to escape to and the only daycare we could afford was dark and drab with a few faded, pitiful “toys” and books. Toast with jelly was considered breakfast and our daughter was always hungry when we picked her up. It was so unlike what she was used to that she wouldn’t interact and would spend most of the day crying.
Shortly after, I lost my job and found out I was pregnant, all in the same month. By then, the recession had hit, so it would be almost 2 years before I would be working again. But it was the greatest blessing ever because the kids could now stay home with me. We broke the lease after 3 or 4 months in the crappy apartment and got the heck out of there. We have slowly been pulling things together and the kids have bounced back, as thankfully, kids do. We are now in a home we love with parks nearby-just smaller and much more financially manageable-and there’s now a happy little 15 month old to round out the family.
That whole experience hurt me more than anything I’ve EVER gone through. I’ll never forget how much I felt like a complete, utter failure and how guilty I felt, feeling that we’d crushed our kids’ spirits and destroyed their happy little world. I recently read an article about an unemployed architect who sent his preteen son to live with neighbors after losing his house and becoming homeless. Almost everyone was so cruel in their condemnation of him. But having gone through something similar, I can completely understand his dilemma. Do you take your child with you onto the streets, or do you leave them with people you trust? Who knows what’s the right thing to do? What I do know is that I will do everything in my power to never have to make such a choice again.
The most painful thing I have experienced in my life was the loss of my dad, I am an only child and had always been daddy’s little girl. He served in the military until I was almost in high school and spent much of my young years with him gone for months at a time as it was during VietNam. He died in an accident almost 8 years ago, he was still very young – 65 – and it was very unexpected. It was President’s Day which is a holiday from work for me, so I had been home all day. When my mom called to tell me all I could do was sink to the floor and listen. My parents live about 24 hours from where I live and to get there by any other means than driving it not feasible. Within a few hours we were on the road and drove straight through. My mom has an amazing network of friends and they assured me that they would be there with her until I was able to arrive. The next few days were a whirlwind of activity and people. My dad had always taken care of my mom, theirs was a very old fashioned relationship, so I now felt that duty had fallen to me (in fact my dad and I had talked about it and that I would need to take care of my mom if anything happened to him). I ended up staying with my mom for 6 weeks, helping her through all that needs to be done after someone has died. I tried to protect my mom from having to deal with too many of the details of everything that needed to be done and let her focus on processing her grief and receiving support from all her friends and well-wishers. During this time I thought it was my job to stay strong and make sure that she received what she needed and in this process I neglected my need to grieve and accept love and sympathy from others. As a result of that I am still struggling to come to grips with my grief all these years later. :(
Years ago I have thought I attracted negative stuff to my life, but I refused to belive so.
Since I was teen I expirience a terrible sadness of beeing daughter of an alcoholic and sister of an adict who was very dificult to live with, some years latter he passed away. That hurt so much but I understood he now is in a better place.
I got married to an abusive guy who made misserable most of the time I shared with him, I dont know why I didn´t had the guts to leave him…. (well I know is Codependency….! ) I was so stucked there.
In those years I had 2 brain tumors which didn´t hurt very much physically but moraly were hard to endure and the recovery wasn´t easy. I lost 2 unborn babies, that was horrible too and finally ended whith tumors in my womb. What really hurt me very much was not havinh the moral support from him in all these events.
Later I got divorced, even I was miserable with my husband, the separation needs a mourning process because its a failure in your life. I didn´t made some right desitions in this months and I regreat so much loosing a job that was awesome, I felt so angry at my self and that also caused me a lot of moral pain.
Right now I can see these past events in retrospect, I consider my self as a strong woman that has weathered some pain through the years and the peace I have now is a consecuence of maturity. I dont see those experiences as a tragedy, just like steps in my way, thank God he helped me to climb the hill where I am now.
You are so right about how you need to mourn the end of even a bad relationship. Often people on the outside of the situation do not understand that, and are not as supportive as they could be. I am sorry that you had to go through all of those negative experiences on your own. You are a very strong woman, and I wish only happiness for you in the future.
Thanks for your nice words, I think you always have to “try” to take the best even in the worse…!
Yes, I am a little behind. In part, because I had to think long and hard about the answer to this question. I certainly have experienced my share of painful times in my life, as have we all. I had a difficult time coming up with the words to describe the most painful thing, and I am still not sure that I have it right. But here goes. The most painful thing I have experienced is the loss of the belief that someone had my back no matter what was happening. ( I say belief because it turns out it just wasn’t true. Previously, I would have called it a fact.) When my husband of 20+ years announced that he was finished with his relationship withme and our family, and that he had been unfaithful many times in the past, and that there was a new person that he “could see myself spending the rest of my life with”, I felt betrayed. it took some time to figure out, but a large part of the betrayal was thatI had believed that no matter what, he would be there for me, if I needed/asked him to be. This belief got me through a lot of tough times, and it is still painful (nearly 8 years later) to realize that I was on my own a lot more than I thought. So,while many think I am still saddened by the demise of my marriage, it is actually that I am saddened that I no longer find myself able to believe that I could count on someone to back me no matter what, even though I do that for others.
After reading all the above heart-breaking stories shared, I find it rather difficult to mention mine. Although I may have several unfavorable situations in my life thus far, such as my then-boyfriend (now-husband)’s serious car accident two years ago, the demise of my maternal Grandfather from cancer about six years ago, broken friendships, being bullied, etc. – it’s just hard to pick one here.
The most painful thing I have experienced to date…?
Having the 3 of the most closest people to me move in the same month. None of them were sure when they were moving, and I was lucky to see them the day they were moving. They came to the school to get their stuff, and I saw them in the courtyard.
Each time I said bye to each of them, I cried. I looked pretty scary since I was wearing eye liner. It took me a while to get over it, but I still miss them. (They’ve all moved to 3 different states, and we don’t get time to talk to each other.)
Looking back at my life… There is only three greater experiences that were very painful for me and I have learnt from them and it makes me who I am to day. I am grateful and cursed by these experiences.
Firstly, when I was about 13-16 years old (the time I was in high school) I was bullied. During this time of my life, there was not one day and night that I did not find solace from being bullied. I understand what it feels like for teenagers to go through this and I also understand how traumatic it is for someone at this tender age of personal growing and dealing with becoming an adult.
Teenagers have to deal with peer pressure, fitting in, being yourself, puberty, school work, homework, friends and family. The list in endless of what our children go through… Not much has changed except the fact of how it is done, whether at home, internet, social media, at school and various other places, including your workplace. As a result of being bullied, I suffered serve depression, obesity and isolation. The bullying for me was so serve, that everyone around me ignored my cries for pleas for being victimized for being different. I can remember everything, every detail, every situation and every word that was spoken and done to me. Luckily, I convinced my mother to change me to a different school. It took 5 years of convincing and little support, but I am grateful. Since the change of school, I was able to regroup with the kids I grow up with in primary school and it made all the difference. I grew into a confident, self-fighting person against bullying, if there was very a fight or argument – you would find me there being the peacemaker and stepping in the way to protect other people. I lost weight, ate healthier, took up sports and music – though sometimes I was bullied but I learnt how to control it and deal with it appropriately. I had friends who supported me, loved me and cared for me who stood up for me and my beliefs. It brings back memories but they are not as painful as they were about 6 years ago. I learnt to let go and embrace the experience and forgave. I moved forward while the bully is still who they were back then. Nothing has changed for them and they have chosen a path of drugs and pain. I do not feel sorry only pity for them. Once I tried to help but I let that go too… “God only helps those who help themselves.” The bully did not want my help – they only wanted to hurt me and blaim me for all their problems! Truly sad.
Secondly, I found love. My first love. Best relationship a teenager can have but also the best one in teaching me about myself and what I wanted in life. Broke my heart, cheated on me and left me for the pits. You never forget your first love so I went on a rampage on cheating on every boyfriend I had to make up for the pain. I didn’t last long, thankfully and I still dated. Had wonderful partners until I found my soul-mate, who I am with today. I love him every much and I have everything I have ever wanted from someone. He fills the hurt with care and love. What more can a woman want? P.s – I got it all!
Thirdly, is suffering depression. It was so bad at times, that I thought if I ended this life, it would be better for everyone without me… But I thought about all the important people in my life, who care and love me. The depression was the result of what happen in high school and not fully dealing with it. The last 5 years has been awesome. I have conquered depression without drugs and I got help. I let go and moved onwards with my life and forgave.
I am a much better person in so many ways but I still have room for growth and improvement. The experiences I have had and the ones I will have, make me who I am today and I am charitable in helping others. :love:
All the Best,
Ezzy ♥
Celes ~ If I have stuffed up the html, please me know. I apologise if it looks wrong xx
Hearing another mans voice coming from my loves room. heart breaks!
My most painful incident – My first love. Realizing that i was never loved by the one i loved the most in this world at one point of time. He was a jerk, it took me 4 years to move on .. Nobody has ever hurt me more than he did.i was cheated, i was depressed and i was alone. It was hell for me. I don’t think i was ever to get over the fact i wasted all that time and energy and emotion over someone who never deserved me. For the first time in my life I hated myself. I was never the same person again. I dont know what to believe in anymore
The loss of my father has been the most difficult thing I have experienced to date. My parents divorced when I was very young and my relationship with my father never fully recovered.
We lived in different states and neither one of us ever really made an effort to work past the distance. We talked on the phone often but our conversations were always limited to mundane impersonal topics about the weather, my siblings or current events. I spent my last summer with him when I saw 12 and I did not see him face to face again until I was 24. I spent Christmas at his house and for the first time ever we actually talked about us and acknowledged that we were both extremely distant with one another. I lived in Texas at the time and he promised to come see my 400 sq ft apartment in the summer. I was so excited that he was finally going to see where I lived, meet my friends, my co-workers and see that I had turned okay. Unfortunately, he died in a car accident two months later and we buried him that February. It was so sudden, the shock and pain of his death was crippling. He and my mother had reconciled after 18 years and my baby sister was born a week after his death.
I guess his death took so much out of me because he and I had so many unresolved issues, he and my mother were in the middle of a second chance and he never got to meet his youngest daughter. It took me a while to get past his death but I’m okay now. I realize that death and loss is a natural part of life and burying a parent is something that most of us will have to face at some point.
I’ve been fortunate in that I haven’t experienced very many painful things in life to date. I often think I am so lucky in life – both my parents are alive, well and together. No-one in my family have suffered from any serious illness or life threatening circumstances.
Furthermore, after glancing through some of the above, I feel even more lucky that nothing serious has ever happened to me or my family. Both my fiance and I regularly say to each other that we are so lucky and we are really grateful that we are. My heart goes out to all of you that have experienced severe trauma and sadness especially where your parents are concerned.
I’m having to think hard to think of painful experiences, and I can only think of times when I was unhappy. First would be when I was at secondary school, I was painfully quiet and shy. I didn’t get bullied, but I felt very uncomfortable and regularly made excuses to get out of PE etc. I’ll always remember a girl I went to school with also went to the same college as me, and I remember hearing her call me ‘a right freak’, but she didn’t know I heard her. That hurt me and upset me – even though I was in my late teens by then. I now know for someone to say something like that, they can only be doing it to make themselves feel better. Therefore I’m not particularly angry at her, in fact I feel sorrow that she has to be that way to make herself feel better (she was incredibly short). I’ve never liked the word freak since!
The only other time I have felt particularly down is after getting so drunk in my early twenties, probably on more than one occasion, that I have made an absolute fool of myself and insulted people close to me. On what particular occasion, I told a barman, who was a colleague of my dad’s, that my dad was a ‘w**k*r’. I think the world of my dad, he is a legend to me, and I didn’t think it of him really. I was just peeved he wouldn’t help me buy a car (I was paying for it myself, he just said I didn’t need one). He wouldn’t speak to me for nearly a week. I have also alienated friends from being too drunk. But the reason I got drunk was because I was so unhappy (didn’t realise it at the time) and I didn’t like who I was, plus because I was so painfully shy. But now I love my life and therefore I drink for pleasure and not for dutch courage – and I drink considerably less!!!
Not painful memories as such, but unhappy ones maybe. I am very happy with my life now and I am full of gratitude for the life I live, and that I have been given :-)
Being told that I may have damaged my own hearing.
The most painful thing I’ve ever had to experience in my life hands down was losing my Papa. A close second was watching my other 2 grandpas on their death bed, choking and sputtering that horrible death gurgle, unable to do anything to make it better for them. But losing my Papa was just absolutely heartbreaking. He raised me from the time I was a little girl; whenever my mom was going crazy or sleeping all day long yelling at me and threatening to hit me for so much as making a sound when she was coming down off her 4 or 5 day meth binge, he was always there to save me. He would make up any excuse to get over there. He would even go to Raleys and bring over a few bags’ worth of groceries just as an excuse to get inside the house and casually ask if he could take me since he was already there. By the time I was in middle school I was pretty much living at his house full time. He gave the most unconditional love I have ever seen in my life. He never judged, never forced his opinion on me, always gave me more than I asked for. He never gave of himself to get leverage on someone or so he could ask a favor later, he always did for others and never expected anything in return. He was really one of the best men I think I will ever see in my life, and waking up every morning knowing I will never get to see him again breaks my heart all over again each time I remember it. For the good man that he was, I always wonder WHY? Why did he have to live the last year and a half of his life on chemotherapy? Why did he have to be in so much pain at the end? Why did the cancer have to spread to so many places? I remember I would just see him sitting alone, with his head cradled in his hands, just shaking it in disbelief. I had never seen him sad before the cancer, but when he was watching all of us knowing our lives would be going on without him I could tell he was just devastated inside. He tried to hide it from all of us and put on a smile, but we knew what was going on in that head of his. I’m getting teary eyed just writing this, I miss him so much. The most painful part of it all was his final week. All of a sudden he went downhill SO FAST it made our heads spin. We didn’t know what to do. He started staring off into space, was practically unresponsive. We’d have to say his name over and over 5 or 6 times before he’d turn to look at us. It was so uncharacteristic of him. He would walk around not knowing where he was going, stumble, and sometimes even fall. He was always such a strong man, so in control, that seeing him in this position was more than heart breaking, it was heart crumbling. I think he knew his time was short, and all I did for a week straight was cry. When he finally did pass away on the morning of Saturday August 1, 2009, I ran into his bedroom and tried shaking him awake, screaming at him to wake up. I went into shock and drank what was left of his morphine and slept for 2 whole days straight. I didn’t want visitors. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t even want to think about it. It’s something I can bear now a days, though getting used to life without him was extremely hard. I still sometimes think I want to go to “Papa and Grandma’s” and go visit them, but then I remember my Papa isn’t there anymore. I miss him so much, and I really don’t think the pain will ever go away. That was easily the absolute most painful thing I have ever been through in my life.
I can’t recall much about my painful experience. I think everything happened to me was just because of my negative/limiting belief which I ‘ve just been aware of recently.
For example about 8 years ago when I was just married, my husband was away on business for about 2 years, I was at my husband’s house with his parents and I felt very lonely. I did not feel loved or anything like that but only supervising eyes from my mother-in-love, she was not happy with me and wanted me to do things the same ways as she did, in fact she wanted to train me to be like her in terms of organising the house, cooking, the way I speak, etc. I felt so isolated and usually cried at night when going to sleep. The feeling of being a stranger in my house made me very sad. I hardly laughed or be happy.
Now looking back I think those feeling, thoughts are what I created for myself, maybe things were not as bad as that if I thought more positively. I even laugh at myself for nearly killing myself from the inside and thankful for realising my limiting belief in those incidents.
Physical pain: several root canals sans anesthesia while being pinned down by dental assistants and 2 labours au naturel (both 10 pounders)
Emotional pain: death of my father and 2 children and death and rebirth of my old self – the one that I carried for decades suffering from self-hatred and inadequacy before embracing the concept that I am good enough as is without the need of proving anything to anybody: including myself.
I believe because I was so young at the time, the most painful thing to happen to me was my grandfather dying. I was only 19 and very unprepared for death and how it affected myself and everyone around me. I didn’t live in the same state, so I had to book a flight. It also bothered me not being able to get to my grandmother right away. I couldn’t sleep that night and I remember I read a Scarlett that night. I think for me, the more deaths that I have experienced I have formed a wall that keeps me emotionally seperated. My grandfather didn’t deserve to die so early he had so many things he wanted to do. He didn’t get to see any of us grow up and be who we are. I am sad for that. I am sad that I didnt spend more time with him while he was sick, that I didn’t realize the consequences of my actions. But that’s what life teaches you. Love the ones who are here and spend as much time with them as you can because you never know when they will be taken from you.
My most painful experience was the birth and death of my first child.
I have lived an incredibly blessed life. To date I have not had to suffer great pain or loss such as the death of a close family member. When I think of painful events only two situations come to mind:
– When my girlfriend broke up with me about five years ago. I felt rejected and abused, but worst of all I felt alone. It was the first time I had been a situation like that, and I didn’t know how to handle it. Having said that, deep down I knew I would be fine if I stayed positive and didn’t let my emotions run away from me.
-When my dog was put down about four years ago, after cancer was identified in his lungs. This was the first time I had to say goodbye to someone I deeply loved. It was devastating to take him to the vet and kiss him goodbye. He was a beautiful, innocent animal with a loving heart, and it did not seem fair that he was taken at a young age.
Reading the other responses here has been incredibly moving, my love and best wishes goes out to all of you.
The most painful thing I’ve experienced to date happened last year. I had told my best friend in the entire world, the person who I had trusted my all for 6 years and who I even considered my none-blood related sister, a deep secret of mine I had never told anybody before. It’s very personal(Has to do with who I really am.) and even now I am fearful to share it with anybody else and I am not prepared to share it on the forums. :(
I expected a bad reaction to begin with but her attitude was judgmental to the point it was racism and exaggerated, she got angry, criticized me in ways I simply felt like sh*t and stopped talking to me entirely. I was in a deep state of depression for months. I realized she wasn’t my real friend all this years after all and that she would *never* accept me for who I really am. I felt ashamed and lied to her that I stopped being what I told her in my secret and then she kept talking to me. I will not badmouth but till this date I wonder why do I keep faking I am somebody else to have this person as my “friend”, who really isn’t. I think I should reflect and get rid of this friendship soon…
Fufu, Sorry you had to go thru that. Please do yourself a favor and get away from that “friend”. She doesn’t deserve your friendship. She will never be a real friend.
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