This is Day 14 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 14 of 21DJC! :) Yesterday’s question was: “What Do You Fear Most?“. (Read the responses.)What do I fear the most? One of my 5 core values (We will work on uncovering our values next month, during Day 15 of Live a Better Life in 30 Days) is “Courage”. The reason why I picked Courage as my core value, is because I think living in fear is one of the worst ways to live life.Why do I say that? Because fear is the mind killer. When you live in fear or something, you start living in a box, whereby the boundary of the box is defined by your fear. The thing is, this fear, if not linked to any physical danger, is merely an illusion that limits your life experience. You may think you are safe by having your life governed by this fear, and you may theoretically feel safe, but the truth is you are repressing yourself for no real reason. Read: Why Overcome Fear?Because fear is such a pointless, disempowering emotion, I make a conscious effort to unroot my fears whenever I face one. I first get clarity on what I’m fearful about, after I seek to understand them. Then, I work on dissolving the fear itself.That said, there are definitely things I’m fearful of, that I’ve not worked through. I’d say working through our fears is a life long journey. For every layer of fear I unravel, there will be new layers of fear underneath. These reflect the new phases of growth I’ve to to through. Personally, I see fears as indicators of what I need to work on next, so it’s a great compass for my growth.The current fears I’m dealing with include fear that I’m not good enough, fear that I’ll be all alone, fear that no one loves me, fear that I cannot lose weight, fear that I’m too ugly, fear that I’ll never be loved. These are things which I look forward to writing and sharing in detail at Personal Excellence in the upcoming future, as I work through the issues.I want to take this chance to thank all of you for earnestly sharing your fears here.With PE, I strive to create a safe space where all of us can share our thoughts and pursue our growth without judgment or prejudice. As I look at the community we have right now, I feel that we *are* living this at this moment. This is incredible. I was just having a conversation with one of the regular PE members, Matt, earlier this week, and we both agreed that PE is easily the most conscious communities either of us have seen online. I can’t be prouder of all of us here.Thank you for being a part of Personal Excellence. I’m very grateful for your existence.With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 14 of 21DJC! :) Yesterday’s question was: “What Do You Fear Most?“. (Read the responses.)What do I fear the most? One of my 5 core values (We will work on uncovering our values next month, during Day 15 of Live a Better Life in 30 Days) is “Courage”. The reason why I picked Courage as my core value, is because I think living in fear is one of the worst ways to live life.Why do I say that? Because fear is the mind killer. When you live in fear or something, you start living in a box, whereby the boundary of the box is defined by your fear. The thing is, this fear, if not linked to any physical danger, is merely an illusion that limits your life experience. You may think you are safe by having your life governed by this fear, and you may theoretically feel safe, but the truth is you are repressing yourself for no real reason. Read: Why Overcome Fear?Because fear is such a pointless, disempowering emotion, I make a conscious effort to unroot my fears whenever I face one. I first get clarity on what I’m fearful about, after I seek to understand them. Then, I work on dissolving the fear itself.That said, there are definitely things I’m fearful of, that I’ve not worked through. I’d say working through our fears is a life long journey. For every layer of fear I unravel, there will be new layers of fear underneath. These reflect the new phases of growth I’ve to to through. Personally, I see fears as indicators of what I need to work on next, so it’s a great compass for my growth.The current fears I’m dealing with include fear that I’m not good enough, fear that I’ll be all alone, fear that no one loves me, fear that I cannot lose weight, fear that I’m too ugly, fear that I’ll never be loved. These are things which I look forward to writing and sharing in detail at Personal Excellence in the upcoming future, as I work through the issues.I want to take this chance to thank all of you for earnestly sharing your fears here.With PE, I strive to create a safe space where all of us can share our thoughts and pursue our growth without judgment or prejudice. As I look at the community we have right now, I feel that we *are* living this at this moment. This is incredible. I was just having a conversation with one of the regular PE members, Matt, earlier this week, and we both agreed that PE is easily the most conscious communities either of us have seen online. I can’t be prouder of all of us here.Thank you for being a part of Personal Excellence. I’m very grateful for your existence.With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!21DJC Day 14
Today’s question is:What Is Love?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
Look forward to reading your answers! :D
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Red heart))
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This is a tricky question, and is something I’ve thought about before. I had all this stuff written down about love being a genuine wish or intention for someone to be happy, free, and thriving, but it occurred to me that my definition of love is much simpler, and encompasses all things (e.g. films, moods, sunsets), and not just people.
Love is a deep connection, however that manifests itself.
I know I’m feeling love when I’m open, present and connected. I would also suggest that love is a lack of all fear.
I couldn’t think of where to start to describe love. Then I thought of something I wrote a while ago, when I fell in love for the first time. I know there are all kinds of different love, and we all feel differently, but I remember how strange and intense it was (is!), but also how wonderful:
Love is fear. Longing. Ecstasy. Agony. Pleasure. Pain.
It all amounts to the same. That same, inexplicable feeling to your stomach, where you don’t quite know if you feel sick or excited and it curdles into one and the same, and it becomes so real, so distorted, so intense and frightening and overwhelming and everything and nothing that you almost forget who you are, and what you are feeling, and why you are feeling it.
It just doesn’t make any sense. Yet suddenly it becomes everything you are.
And it indeed becomes everything. Every feeling you possess tingles and fizzes as it becomes amplified; pleasure and pain become ever more intertwined. It’s damaging, almost self-destructive really – and yet what’s strange is you actually want to be like this, because never before have you felt so alive. It’s that twisted thrill you get when you imagine the hurt of your boyfriend with someone else. It’s crying when they leave and again when they come back and never knowing quite why. Wanting to smash the mirror to pieces because you’ve spent two hours doing your face and it still isn’t good enough, and then forgetting what even upset you when he looks at you. Holding hands, hanging up the phone, arguing, making up, suffocating with doubt, diving in anyway. It’s clearly maddening to keep throwing yourself from one end of this emotional spectrum to the other, but you will, and you do.
Is it worth it?
So intense is this that the question of if it’s “worth it” no longer seems to be an issue; it is far too late for that. It’s not as if you can simply let go of this anymore. One lax moment of rose-tinted bliss, and this is what you end up with – you let this in, and it’s snaked around your body before you even realised, hypnotised you by whispering insanities in your ear. But it is not mad at all, don’t you realise? It is part of you now; he is part of you. You’re dizzy with it all, physically light headed, needing him like oxygen. You crave him when he’s not there – it’s not even enough when he’s right next to you, oh this is painful, far too painful, but it’s too late, it needs to stop, you can’t do this, whatthehellhaveyoudone?
But when he brushes past your arm, or smiles at you, or tells you that he loves you and that everything is going to be alright, then everything stops. You stop. For that one moment, your world turns from the tangled web of awful thoughts that you have created for yourself into absolute, wonderful…nothing. I.t.s.t.o.p.s.it.a.l.l. It stretches out for miles and miles of forever, lighting up everything, soothing, healing, nothing. You forget about thinking, and just starting feeling – feeling the most perfect, unknown words ever. It feels like it was something that you always understood, but have just discovered: like it was buried inside your deepest psyche somewhere. And he just made it clear for the first time again. For that at moment, you feel completely connected with the world, because he is you and you need him, and it all just makes sense. More than sense.
Yes, love may seem mad. It can feel painful and confusing. It is catalysed by excitement, stilted by fear. There are no words apt enough. Even these are not the words. It is just to be…alive.
So I ask you again: is it worth it?
Love is based on truth where two individuals know each other in true sense, accept and promise to stand by. It is the feeling which we will not regret about later. In love I will not think twice to speak my mind and heart. Although it provides physicality it would still be chaste. When I know there are people loving me I can find strength in difficulty. It will make me so brimming that I will give it to others. You can have love for art, persons, nature….
I want my love to spend life time with me …knowing each other better and both being great human beings through this wonderful companionship.
Love is honesty, faithfulness, respect and fun loving enjoyment :) It is a deep seated feeling that no one can break.
Love is gracious love is kind love is beautiful love is blind, we should keep loving because its what makes the world go round x :heart:
Hmm… I would like to define love in a general standpoint and not just in a romantic one. For me love is a commitment we give to our relationship that we will be there for them no matter what, through thick or thin. Love is genuinely caring. Love is accepting each others flaws and just generally sticky be each other. And also, love is wishing and hoping only the best for the other person.
For me love is being generous, caring, trusting the other person, being passionate, respect each other in terms of human being, freedom, desires. Loves implies understanding, compassion, discussion, compromise, tenderness, arms where you do feel secure, sharing…
Love is all that and so much more that I can’t put words on.
We all have loved different people in many different ways. Parents love their children so they nurture them and care for them enough so in the future, they will be able to live life well even without them. Children respect and love their parents by obeying them and adhering to parents’ admonition. Sweethearts and spouses love each other by caring for each other and doing everything which they think would bring happiness to their partners. That is the essence of love to me – the willingness to sacrifice and do everything for the other and avoiding anything that will cause pain and disappointment to the other. Love to me is dying to oneself for the sake of the other – the willingness and spontaneous actions to make the loved one happy whatever it takes.
Love is like coming home. Faith, loyalty, support. Share values and goals. Let the other one be her-/hisself. Forgiveness, understanding, family. Growing together.
Love is what I felt when I held each of my babies for the first time. :hug:
All the possible definations of love one can possibly think of are already given by many. I just wanna say we can not express love in words because its a feeling that can only be felt.
Love between humans should be an unconditional acceptance of the other. I say should as our love is often flawed. We love, but we often actually love very conditionally.
A person should be able to do anything (except abuse you, that is) and you should still love him / her in spite of what they’ve done.
Love is having compassion for all beings around, and showing it with kindness.
It’s a manifestation of our humanity, to care for each other and help those that need it more. It’s feeling empathy for others, and extending a helping hand without any judgement or condescension. It’s having a giving attitude, to accept people for who they are, and wanting them to better themselves.
Love is about unconditional understanding and respect for the other person; treating others like how you would like to be treated.
Love is seeing beauty in the plain, & bringing hope to the dejected.
:hug:
love is the most powerful feeling. it’s the feeling of like, but much more intense and complex. it’s the force that helps someone do whatever it is they want to do, when you love to do something. it’s giving and not expecting to receive. it’s seeing thing as they really are and discovering that it’s great the way they are. it’s trusting the other, trusting everything is going to be ok. it’s a feeling that i rarely experience but i keep waiting for.
21DJC#14: What Does Love Mean To You?
Hmm hard one… Too hard for me anyway… maybe I can try to define it with the words of others:
“True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never end.” ~Barbara Johnson
“You know you are in love when you don’t want to go to sleep at night because reality is much better than a dream.” ~Dr. Seuss
“I don’t have time to hate the people who hate me… I’m too busy loving the people who love me.” source
“Love is just another word until you find someone who defines it.”
IMO though, love is a lifestyle and not just a state. You can’t love someone and hate another at the same time. Unfortunately, hate is the default; so make a conscious choice today and choose a life of love instead of hate.
To love is to care unconditionally about humanity (including yourself). You deserve your own love too.
True expression of unconditional love is growing and helping others grow. Thus raising the global consciousness.
P.S: I love you <3
What I identify love is? Love is someone caring and sharing everything with another. Love is regardless of: live or non living things, physical, mental, own it or not have it, what situation, how much money. Love is accept and appreciate everything, love is caring, helping, hopeful, powerful, touching, laugh, infection, faith. Love God, the world, everything on earth, the universe, peace. Love has to nourish, not defend.
When someone always takes care of my feeling I feel that it might be love, but sometimes I feel unworthy to be loved because I’m not good enough and I don’t dare to love. I see love doesn’t come out from a person mouth directly frankly, sometimes is hiding inside, show love need courage and action. Love can be simple, love is presence.
Love is the ultimate empathy, when you can feel that you are connected. Love is sharing, when you share feelings, thoughts, moments. Love is the good, that can fight all the evil in the world.
When I think of love, such words come to my mind: warmth, care, hug, connection, understanding, comfort, dear, passion. It’s so intangible, but so powerful and beautiful at the same time. Very hard to describe (I’m having trouble describing it) but something amazing. To me, love is about having a special connection – whether it is with another individual or an organization or thing or animal …the list goes on. That special connection which makes you feel all “warm and fuzzy” inside. And I’m so glad that there are many things that make me feel like that. It’s great :)
It is really hard to describe love in words. There is the way I feel about my mother, about my husband, my children, and a few other people I care about, and my dogs.
Love is when you feel good in the presence of another, when you feel at peace and protected, when in turn, you want to protect the other person. Love is when you would do anything to make someone happy, when you understand each other, without the need for words. Love is when you accept the other person as he is, without wanting to change him. Love is when you can be totally honest with someone.
For me, Love means “acceptance”, accepting myself the way I am and accepting others the way they are.
Love also means, “being there for the person, whenever required”, even when the whole world falls apart
Love means a world of different things to me depending upon whom I am placing that label upon.
Love for my husband is much different than the love I have for my children, parents, siblings, friends, etc. Although this love is different for each person it still has the essential that I believe all Love embodies.
Love is not only a feeling and an emotion but most definitely an action.
To me Love is the embodiment of how you treat the world. The actions and reactions each and every day that we walk through life. The how you speak to, look at, smile at, etc each and every person &/or animal that you come into contact with.
Love IS
Love means…
light
freedom
unselfishness
warmth
caring
sensitivity
thoughtfulness
gratefulness
forgiveness
hugs and kisses
knowledge
understanding
listening
giving
acceptance
worth
respect
affection
time
sharing
common interest
happiness
I thought a little free association might help with answering this huge question. Throughout my life so far, I have had many different definitions and understandings of love: parental, sibling, friend, romantic, unconditional, divine… and each stage has been different and more intense. I ask myself this question periodically, but now, it seems like you can’t really define love; it is like trying to define God, and some will say God is love. I certainly believe that love is divine, and when we love, we reflect the divine in ourselves. I believe that God wholly encompasses love, and nothing else. Therefore, love — regardless of who it’s for or with — is incredibly personal and spiritual, while being completely universal.
How do I know when I feel love? Well, it’s two things. First, I am unselfish; I feel the need to give to whomever I feel love towards. I want to share… everything… Second, I feel whole when I am loved and when I am loving. Love completes us — not that a person completes us, but the act of loving and accepting love completes us. When either of these is not present, it’s not love. When both of these conditions are present, I know there is love, and I am whole and happy.
I would like to compare love to sweetness. Honey is so sweet and so is sugar. Bananas do taste sweet and so does mangos, sugar cane and most of the fruits. However each of those have a very different and unique sweetness taste. This is how love tend to be. The love between human species is uniquely
different. Another human would be very upset if say, a big dog did attack a fellow human being. Then comes the love of a mother or father towards their child. This is called parental love and it is uniquely different from the love between fellow humans.
Children also have a very different love for their parents, which is not as the one they do have for an uncle or any other person. The love between two friends is also different from any other two different strangers. Last but not least their is love between lovers,couples or call it spouses. This kind of love is very strong,very different and even involves a lot of caring. The element of caring is unique or determined by the level of love and the relationship between each two different people.
Love is easier to experience than pin down with words, as we’re seeing here (to be clear, we have some strong answers — it’s just that I’d wager that the underlying emotion felt by everyone responding is more similar than the myriad articulations would lead one to believe).
I’ve wondered if love is the opposite of apathy, but per Christina’s point above, it’s closer to a mixture of that and the opposite of selfishness.
It’s a bit like a super-empathy mixed with a super-caring. Done right, you don’t need to be loved back by the recipient to feel good. I could probably do a better job of tuning into the “love channel” in my life (this is not a literal TV channel, btw :-) I feel like there’s something metaphysical to say here, but my own articulation is not quite flowing precisely enough to squeeze it out.
To me love means that I totally accept another person. I don’t need to control them or change them. I just enjoy being with them. This type of love is respectful and accepting. I have received this type of love from several friends. I know they may not always like the choices I make, but, they will always defend my right to make those choices. When I am with a person who loves like that, I don’t need pretense. I don’t need defenses. I am free to be who I am and to know that the other values who I am. Again, they may not see things the way I do, but, they respect me enough to not try to change who I am or how I feel or act.
I love this answer, Pat! And I completely agree with you, but I wasn’t able to articulate this as beautifully as you did. This is the best kind of love — respect and acceptance.
Love is unselfish. At its best, it frees you to give unconditionally, without fearing whether or not the object will give back. I see it as a kind of freedom, when you are able to give love without any kind of anxiety that it’s returned.
I’ve thought about this quite a bit, because I’ve always been one of those lucky people who never has to worry about being loved. When I see others struggle, I’ve wondered why it’s easy for some people and not for others. I’ve concluded that it’s not really anything I’m doing in particular. I can probably thank my parents and other family members for showing me over and over again how much I was loved and how much value I have as a person. It made it easy for me to love myself, in spite of many insecurities, and that is the basis for both giving and receiving love. People who didn’t receive that reinforcement growing up often seem to have a much harder time.
If you don’t have love, you can’t give it. The thing is, you don’t have to wait around for someone to give it to you, you can give it to yourself. Once you have it for yourself, you are able to give it to others and they will love you back.
I think a lot of people get hung up on showing love through doing things for others. There is that part of it- love is often shown through actions, but not everyone needs to give and receive it the same way. I have a lot of old friends I seldom see, and we almost never get a chance to do anything for each other, but it doesn’t matter, we still love each other. I think that love is often shown simply through time we give to spend together.
What does love mean to me?
Wow I’m really not sure. It’s hard for me to define this.
We may say things like “I love you!”, “You love me!”, but I also say “I love French toast” or “I love romantic comedies.” So I’m not sure.
I really want to come up with something here to define it but I’m totally drawing a blank as I am typing this. I’m not sure at all.
Is love when something, whether it’s a person or a cause, is more important to you than you are too yourself? That’s the first definition that popped into my head but I’m not sure if that defines it either.
I guess I just don’t know.
Unconditional acceptance.
So simple, but so true.
We have many words for love, but love is that feeling that drives us every day that lights up a bad day.
Love is when you cuddle on a winter day in front of a fireplace. Love is when you you wake up with a smile on your face and when you are ready to take on any chalenge.
Love is when you think about nice ways to make someone happy.
Love means everything to me…love also drives me like a fuel.
Love is the reason we are here.
Love is breakfast in bed, love is tea when you are sick. Love is a hug, kiss and a kind word.
Love is when you look at your pet. When you remember childhood…
Love is so much more…everything that is not fear.
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