21DJC Day 9 – What Drives You?

This is Day 9 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.

Empty book for journaling

Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 9 of 21DJC! :)

Yesterday’s question was: “On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?“. (Read the responses.)

Self-love is such a tricky topic. Do you love yourself? How much do you love yourself?

The modern society has taught us to be unhappy with ourselves. That we’re not thin enough, not toned enough, not muscular enough, not attractive enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, not skilled enough, not successful enough, not accomplished enough, not well-known enough – and what have you.

Because of that, feelings of self loathe become embedded in us, subconsciously. Our journey through life then becomes a process where we reverse what we were conditioned with since young; where we discover who we are on the inside; where we evolve into our ideal selves.

I’ve come quite a long way where self-love is concerned. In the past, I really hated myself. I was emotionally stingy, I was judgmental, I was critical – I was basically difficult to be around. I didn’t even like me – there were often times when I felt that I could never stand it if I ever had to be around someone who had the exact personality as mine. I didn’t realize it then, but looking back, my self-love was probably in the negative range.

It’s been a few years, but I’ve worked on becoming a better person since then, and I’m a lot more at peace with who I am today. I think I’m still far from being my ideal self, and there’s a lot I need to work on, but I appreciate myself a lot more than I used to.

I believe being a better person is a journey and not an end point. By constantly growing, it helps me to become a better person day after day, which in turn makes me appreciate myself more. If there’s ever anything I don’t like about myself, I’ll reflect on it, develop my desired traits, and shed off the undesirable ones. I believe I’m on the right path, and in time to come I’ll achieve the same level of unconditional, self-love which my higher self has for me.

With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!

21DJC Day 9

On Day 6, you answered the question: What Frustrates You?. Today, I’d like to invite you to think about something different:

What Drives You?

Determined woman

What drives you in life? What do you live for? What are the times when you feel charged up and ready to take on the world? And why?

(Today’s question can be found in #77 of 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life.)

Your Task Today:

  1. Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
  2. Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
  3. Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
Look forward to reading your answers! :D

((Images: Empty book for journaling, Determined woman))

173 comments
  1. I’m driven by my desires to see myself succeed in whatever terms I’ve laid out for myself.

    I do a good job of resisting outside pressure when it comes to success. I define it for myself, and I believe I can (relatively well) resist external definitions of what success means.

    That being said, I know that I sometimes am driven by my own fears. For example, a fear that I have is being lonely. I have a hard time sharing my emotions with other people, which is something I’m working on but that is a very hard shift for me. I have a hard time with it even though I know that it’s my tendency to keep my emotions to myself that makes me feel lonely, and that leads me to fear that I’ll always feel isolated. So, sometimes I’m driven to make choices to reassure myself that I needn’t fear being alone. But that doesn’t force me to address the root problem (my habit of bottling up emotions rather than sharing them with others).

    At times, though, I’m driven by forces more positive than fear. I’ve devoted hours to tasks simply because I think it’s a job worth doing well, whether or not anyone else will ever know how I did, and whether or not the consequences of not doing a good job on the task will have any consequences. I’m also driven by a desire to see those close to me happy. I believe that drive comes from a place of loving and caring about these people, and not from a place of fear.

  2. Bianca Cintron 14 years ago

    In a word, creativity. Channeling ideas. Learning about a new skill, topic, or concept. Taking all the things I’ve experienced and pouring them back out into something expressive and unique. Something sharable. Feeling that connection that comes with the shared human experience.

  3. What drives you in life?
    My love towards my family, friends and this world in general.(Nature, society, animals,etc.)

    What do you live for?
    I live to be free, be myself, do the things I love, love others unconditionally, do what I think is right and simply have fun and live life to the fullest alongside my precious ones.

    What are the times when you feel charged up and ready to take on the world and why?
    When I know there are friends and family that make my world a lot better. Also when I do something I truly love and am passionate about.

  4. Sailingawaytoday 14 years ago

    What pulls me out of bed and keeps me going forward. I never asked myself that question before. My gut instinct is that I get up because my heart is still beating and because I can. What keeps me going; is the hope even though I can’t see it, that my dreams the ones that are deep in my heart;, the one’s that others would ask, “why that, or aren’t you too old for that,” those dreams. I think I hope somehow, some way, the wait will be over, and today will be the day, my day, that special day. Finally.

  5. The driving for my life can be broken in to two. There was a “pre-realization” driving force and then i believe that there is a post driving one.

    Before a “change” in me, my driving force was REVENGE. It was to prove myself to all those who had not treated me well in my past, and then rub it in their face. Lame? Yes…but it was truly motivating. I remember nights i would spend working on a report, or long days at school, and trying financial times, where the only motivating force for me was the idea of one day, being successful and then turning around to characters in my past and rubbing it in their face. I had entire scenes in my head, where i would be a succesful engineer, in a nice vehicle, all decked out….and in a confrontation with these apposing characters, i would tell them that they were wrong. That they were unjust to mistreat me, that I had gotten over that challenge and that they were loosers. I had images of driving over people in my car (crazy = yes ..but it seemed really valid at that point)

    These motivations where great. They would fuel my anger. I would be determined to get the task done, to be the best i could be in a particular field JUST SO THAT I COULD PROVE IT TO THEM.

    And then, a change happened.

    I realized by having these motivations and drives, i was allowing the very people who shouldnt…have control of me.

    I was happily and willingly handing over my freedom to those who didnt deserve it.

    I forgave (or am trying to forgive) these characters

    So now, my entire drive has changed. It is not works based, or revenge based….or even self glorification based. I dont do stuff to propel myself higher in my eyes…or in other’s eyes. (or at-least i try not to….)

    My drive now is different. It still has 2 facets…like the last one. I really hope they are more meaningful in the long run.

    My short term drive is to make people happy. It gives me great energy and joy to see them smile, and laugh…and have solid peace on the inside. This sequences my motivations in certian patterns. I dont particularly want to do something which will deprive my loved ones with joy…..but i will if it is what is the best for them and I. I want to help mend this broken world, be part of the process of the change…..but not in a rebellious, hurt the world manner. I will do that in a manner which is right….honorable….Godly.

    So, my long term and sustaining drive (maybe it is there, maybe i want it to be there) is to please God. It took me a while to understand that i am always doing stuff to please…please others (humans) or myself. Maybe this is an innate desire, set up in humans…to please others. I do think that the one to please is God. It took me a while to set up this drive, why would i do something to please SOMEONE ELSE. And then i realized that self gratification is garbage. It is not fulfiling. It makes WAY MORE sense to seek the happiness of the one who created us, and is so super cool to me. And cares for me in more ways than i can think of.

    A kind of mushy blog…but i am willing to stand by it :)

  6. Passion is number one thing that drives me, when i feel passionate about something i will do it best i can and i will finish strong. Passion is like fuel for me and i am mostly passionate about living the life i dream and inspiring others to do the same, spreading the word of self growth and fulfillment on all areas of life.

    And of course love…all kinds of love…love is everywhere and i feed of of it tremendously. Every action i take if inspired with love i know it will be a great one. I read somewhere that there are no Great Actions just average actions done with Great Love.

    Other thing that drives me are my dreams because without them i am nothing, they wake me up every morning and let passion flow all day long. I am always happy to do something that will bring me closer to my dream life , love, travels, people etc.
    Things that also drive me are laughter, joy, spending time with people i love, children, animals, inspiration, positive thinking….etc The longer the list of what drives me the closer i am to getting there.

  7. Hopes and dreams.

    I feel so excited when something I have hoped and dreamed for materialises. It keeps me motivated and fulfilled everyday while knowing something good is going to happen anytime.

    For instance, when I lost my loved one, I thought my life would be shattered because I have been so close to him. Yet I managed to pull myself over, probably my higher self was telling me to hold on for something better. On another instance, I am currently training my pet to attend competitions and I am facing huge difficulties. Yet again, my higher self is telling me to hold on….as I never try, I never know!

    So, whatever times I have, good or bad, I know for sure that if I hold on to my hopes and dreams (and listening to my higher self), everything will turn out beautiful for me in the end.

  8. What drives me….

    Giving, to make others happy. Whether it’s my time, kind words, or a listening ear. Just knowing that I am able to help someone, or make a positive impact on their lives makes me happy as well. Even if people dont show appreciation, it makes me feel good about myself. Receiving a thank you or a smile is a bonus.
    This applies to my relationship with family, friends, and people i come into contact with. Still, I think I can improve on this, learn to give more freely to others, as sometimes I can be emotionally stingy – out of fear perhaps.

    I’m constantly looking for ways to try and make a difference, and knowing that I am able to, or seeing room for me to make a difference.. drives me.

    Having goals and working to accomplish them also drives me. Whether it’s an exercise goal, or doing my best at work… a job well done/ goal achieved drives me.

    Hobbies and personal development drive me as well. Recently I started learning watercolour painting, last year I learnt japanese flower arrangement. love it :)

  9. Bilal Kamoon 14 years ago

    21DJC#9: What Drives You?

    Growth. Growth is what makes me get out of the bed in the morning. Whether it’s self-growth or helping others grow.

    And by growth I mean conscious development, self-improvement, intellectual growth, physical growth… etc

    I believe we are sent here to grow, and to enjoy growing.

    As I wrote in day’s 6 answer, I get frustrated by people who resist growth.

    Whenever I see a chance for growth, I get hyped up and feel a rush of adrenaline through my body.

    Not all types of growth are good though, you could grow crops on farmville but you won’t be feeding anyone with it, not even yourself.

    It’s a challenge to choose which area you should focus your growth efforts on. I think it should be proportional to the deficit you have in that area. You can refer to your life circle for that if you have one.

  10. My mind go blank when I first saw this question, there are not much that drives me after finished my school for good grades. Motivate books/ videos/ movies, music, exercise; fear of no money, when I got sales it drives me. I live for a better life, better me. The times when I get charged up are when I learn something new but always are short-lived passion.

  11. I’m not particularly driven. I like a simple peaceful life but I’m driven to earn a bit of money because an adequate amount keeps life simple and stress-free. I’m driven to create a clean /happy / stimulating environment for my children to grow up in.

  12. A bit of catching up, due to not journalling in weekend (and doing those questions first this week), but here’s what I think (from bottom up):

    On everyday level – it’s the survival instinct. Income plays part in accepting or not accepting the small scale projects.

    On the bigger scale – It’s a desire for self-expression. I wish to bring to reality all of the ideas and visions in my head. It’s also positivity around me, support and encouragement. It’s love. It’s joy of living. Most of my medium to large scale projects and activities are based mainly in those driving forces.

    On life level – It’s spirituality, even though I’m not a strict follower of any religion.

  13. I am driven by change. I accept the fact that nothing stays still and everything changes. Thus, I make time to meet friends and make time to do what I wanted to do, because I know that I won’t be around forever. Before something change – be it the dynamic of my relationship with my friends, or where my location is, etc. I also know that the people around me are not sticking around forever for one reason or another, so I tend to make the most out of it while I still can.

    I told one of my good friends that, “…I think I could move to other places (overseas) anytime, that’s why I take my friendships seriously. It’s like, people don’t realise and appreciate what they have until they lost it. I don’t want to be one of those people. I want to appreciate every single moment I have, I don’t want to wait until I lost (let’s say, my friend) to realise that they’re precious to me.”

    That friend of mine said, “That sounds sad to me,” but I said, “No. Things are changing, and we just have to deal with it, it’s not sad at all – I think I act positively about it.”

  14. I wish I knew what drives me, which would then probably help lead me to figuring out what my passion is so I can pursue it. I enjoy helping others, especially with technology but I guess that doesn’t really answer the question. I don’t have much that drives me. I have a lack of drive and resultingly, a lack of focus and motivation.

    I like consulting people using my knowledge and resources and will sometimes stay up all night in order to solve a problem. 

  15. What has unknowingly driven me until recently was fear. Now I acknowledge that I can work on conquering my fears.

  16. Challenge, personal development, opportunity
    I realized that while I may not have enjoyed my area of study in university, I thoroughly enjoyed all the extracurricular and volunteering activities that I’ve done and it really drove me all the way throughout the university. Every time I took on a new role, it was a challenge that opened up an opportunity for personal development. It excites me to think about upcoming challenges and opportunities in life and it’s definitely one of the main drivers in my life.

  17. At times I can live my life passively; a form of awake sleepwalking without passion or energy.

    However more and more I actively bring passion to daily life, driven by a variety of interests and perspectives:
    – bringing love, peace and awareness to every moment
    – exploring and reflecting on the big ideas in life
    – spending quality time and connecting with family and friends
    – to be the best person I can (intellectuality, spirituality, and warm heartedness)
    – to create in a meaningful way (writing, music, art, photography)
    – contributing to other people and things in the world to increase wellbeing and happiness
    – exploring the vast diversity of the world (travel, consuming great texts, being open)

    In short I believe I am driven to make tomorrow a better day than today.

  18. What drives me? What charges me up?

    Engaging in my passions. Whether reading or actively doing, my passions charge me.

    They fill my being to the brim and past, causing me to ignore all but the basic needs, like sleeping and eating, in order to fulfill my purpose… to draw those lines or to learn new words, phrases, and grammatical structures.

    Also, seeing my dad helping others, or noticing poor translations (this is rare since I have yet to become so bilingual).

    I realize that… I should surround myself with this stuff, whether it be people, materials, or the general environment. I shouldn’t wait to let it come to me, but seek it out, and like synergistic beings, we will give to each other, creating something so much grander than ourselves.

  19. What drives me? What drives me is my loved ones, positivity around me, inspiring people, TRAVEL and seeing what the world is like, learning about different cultures, having people experience the joy of travel, and basically seeing people happy. I would say what drives me is experiencing the best in life and being in the best shape, not just me but the people I care for as well. Aside from that what drives me is helping out even in simple ways because I know every body is capabe of helping and even if it is just a small move, it will be appreciated and helping each other makes the world a much better place.

  20. I am not sure what drives me at this point in my life. Actually I have been feeling kind of lost lately. I really don’t feel very driven at all. I am actually trying to get motivated and driven to get things I want done at this point in my life. Its kind of hard to say out loud and admit right now. But admitting it may be the first step in making that change I desire. I sure hope so. Any suggestions are surely welcome.

    • Darryll I completely understand what you are saying. I am feeling very similar right now. It is a scary feeling. I like being in control of what is happening in my life and I am not always feeling that way now. Like you I have a hard time admitting to others that I may not feel as put together on the inside as they seem to think I appear on the outside. I hope this exercise helps you find your way to making change.

  21. I’m not sure what drives me at this point, some days I don’t feel like I am driven, I just want to lay down and give up, I’m tired and I just don’t feel like fighting anymore. And even when I write this and and I feel this way and I know I feel this way, in the end, I don’t want to be a failure… So I dig in and try it all over again. Fear of failure drives me!

  22. Rage, fear, peace and positive feedback are the factors that drives me.

  23. I think what drives me are support and encouragement (or I may call it love) from friends and family member. Whenever I do something (that i like) which have support, I am more confident and do it with joy. If I do it sucessfully then my energy is endless.

    The second drive for me is the love for children. I am especially moved when I see children, either they are mistreated or nice, at time time I think I can do anything, without asking for anything, sacrificing everything, to do something for them.

    I also have drive for money, when I see opportunity I would think about growing my money ;) .

    So at the moment these are what drive me most.

  24. What Drives You?
    1. Seeing work that has been well done drives me to accomplish something as good, if not better.
    2. Having my work appreciated and recognized drives me to do better.
    3. Competing against myself by continuously improving from a previous performance.
    4. My family and friends drives me – they inspire me.

  25. Shannon deLonge 14 years ago

    When I was five I was driven by Mickey Mouse and I wanted to join the Micky Mouse club house and make children laugh like Mickey did. Now that I am older it is still the same thing in a sense but just a little more grown up. I want to be the best artist I can be and make the world laugh and smile with my art work and my writings. I love writing and drawing my life as it happens. I have a compassion to continue to live to please others. I want to be a circus clown or something. I like to entertain people while being on center stage at the same time. I even love cooking for people who enjoy my cooking. I love the smiles and comments I get when people happily eat my food I made. I like happiness and smiles made by me it makes me feel like not only am I someone but I accomplished something as well.

  26. What do I live for in life?
    I never asked this question so far. Guess it says we should have a purpose to live. It could be short term and long term. I live for myself, for my loved ones and for those who need my help. How good it will be if there is a purpose to live for everyday as we wake up.
    I have to live for myself because: I see some flaws in me which I can correct only as I get to experience life moving forward , as I meet inspiring people and by gaining better awareness of myself and surroundings. In short I live to improve myself, achieve growth and then after share with others what I learnt and how I reached a level. I live also because I want to enjoy life.
    I have to live for my loved ones because: they have expectations from me, believe I am worthy of success, I want to give them back what they have given me as I share mutual relationship with my kith and kin.
    I live for those who need me: I can serve those in need in n number of ways; financially, by giving them my time etc
    All that drives me are my willingness and hopefulness, motivation given by others, others achievements and unseen positive power.
    When I have certain responsibility on my shoulder and am doing the thing I like and what I think is right then I am all charged up and ready to take on the world.

  27. I am driven by the desire to take care of my family, to figure out what my passion in life is, and to continually learn and grow.

  28. Goals- both small and big. Every day, when I go to bed, I should have the satisfaction of a day well spent, and a step (no matter how small) towards my goals. And of course the delight of having brought joy to at least one person. :dance:

  29. I have never thought about what drives me. I suppose that, back in school, I was always driven by the desire to learn and to succeed. I thrived on approval from teachers and family.

    For me, the desire to succeed is still very strong, especially with work and my life goals. When I see or talk with other people who have accomplished something great, it inspires me to do better. When I see someone suffering, it drives me to be a better person and help them improve their lives.

    Little things, like music and support from my husband are also motivating, as well as accomplishing goals I set for myself, no matter how small. It feels great when something we have been working so hard for comes true!

  30. I guess I am driven by the desire to do better, to improve. This probably comes from my upbringing, where my parents always encouraged me to do my best, as parents do, and they knew I was of reasonable intelligence and therefore encouraged me constantly to do my best and rewarded me whenever I did well. They still encourage me now (30 now). This has instilled a desire to constantly improve and grow. I want to bill more year on year, I want to save more and then I can get a bigger house, I want to raise more for charity than I did last year, I want to accomplish things (I love crossing things off lists – it gives me a sense of progress being achieved), I just want to progress and grow each year :-)

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