This is Day 8 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 8 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?“. (Read the responses.)
There have been so many things I’ve learned to date, and each of them has been important in its own right. From lessons like follow your heart, trust your instinct, always address the root cause of issues and not the effects, open your heart to others and others will do the same, the outer state of your life reflect your inner beliefs than anything else, when there’s a will there’s a way, nothing is impossible in this world, your inner self has all the answers, you always have a choice, the limits we face in life are to do with us than anything else, growing is the best thing one can do as a person, life is what you make it out to be, the only limits we face in life are ourselves, and many more.
Hence, if you are to ask me one thing I’ve learned in life so far, I’d say it’s that I’ve learned nothing. That there are so many new things out there, so many incredible, talented people, so many wonderful experiences that I’ve yet to experience. That the more I learn and grow, the more I realize how much I’ve to learn. I’ve found this to be especially true since I started my travels.
The implication then, is that we should always be open to new things. Don’t close yourself off from new experiences. Don’t close yourself off from people. Don’t rule out new opportunities for growth. Most importantly, don’t be closed off in your beliefs. (On Days 26-27 of Be a Better Me in 30 Days Program, you identify your limiting thoughts and replace them with empowering ones.)
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
21DJC Day 8
Today’s question is this:
On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?
Self-love is a topic that’s so important, yet rarely talked about in the realm of personal growth. Hence, today I’d like to ask you to reflect on this: How much do you love yourself on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest? And why?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Self love))
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Probably an 7 – people often tell me (and it shocks me every single time I hear it), “You have so much self confidence!”
I don’t see myself as confident at all – I’m often second-guessing myself, searching for ways to improve myself. I ask other people questions about themselves, their outlooks, knowing always that I can do better than I am doing now.
I meet people who have travelled the world, who cook brilliantly (I hate to cook), that dance effortlessly and beautifully, have a higher plane of thinking and spiritual goals and I feel so inadequte … why I haven’t I done these things? Why haven’t I run a marathan? (Darn that drunk driver who smashed into my car and wrecked my knee.) So many “Why can’t I –”
Every day I see more room for improvement and my own weaknesses are glaringly apparent.
The voices from childhood trauma are tough to shed.
I would have to give myself a 3. Or maybe a 4. On the outside (to other people, and myself if I am not looking carefully), it seems as though I love myself more than that. But if I am to be honest ( and what is the point of not being honest…) I am very hard on myself in very unreaonable ways. I sell myself and my skillset short. I live with a child that has Asberger’s, and I love him unconditionally. I wish I could do the same for myself.
Quite frankly, I do not really love myself. If 10 is the highest and 1 is the lowest, I will score a 4 for myself.
I hate to be negative, but it is somewhat difficult to put a positive spin when it comes to self-evaluation. I see myself as someone who has a lot of deficiencies and who has a lot to improve on. I guess this explains why I am always lack of confidence. The good thing though is that I am always willing to improve on myself and to become better.
I would rather be humble than to be cocky; I would rather have people who love me than to be a self-centred person. Although to be loved, one would need to love oneself first, deep down inside I still admire for what I have accomplished in my life. That being said, maybe I will take a moment to reflect on myself and try to be more positive.
I totally (10) love myself. Because, I have to, I need to and this is the reality. Loving myself enables me to make huge steps and work hard on my personal development.
I would have to say that on a scale of 1-10, I am about a 7 1/2 on how much I love myself. This is still good, because just a few months ago I was at about a 6. In the last few months I have completely turned my life around by giving up on anything I was planning for my future that wasn’t completely my own idea or desire. There were things people wanted me to do that I had no interest in pursuing and I was dragging my feet with every step. Lately I have really started listening to myself more, and have been doing things that I want to do. Every day feels so much more worth my time and energy now, like I’m wasting a lot less time and actually having the chance to love every minute of it. Since then, job opportunities have flooded my way and I have become much busier, but it makes a world of a difference when you are busy with things you actually enjoy doing.
I didn’t give myself a full 10 or even a 9, because I do have my flaws that hold me back some that I would like to work on in the near future and years to come. First of all, even though I try to tune out the negative opinions of others, they still weigh me down sometimes and I get to the point where they are near impossible to ignore. First off, let me just say that I don’t think you SHOULD ignore people’s negative opinions of you at first. Sometimes they are valid points and if you take them with a grain of salt, they might actually help you in the long run. However, these are not the negative opinions or comments that I am referring to. Sometimes they are just rude, baseless, and ignorant comments from bored people who have nothing better to do with their time. Even with that being said and me knowing this, sometimes I still can’t help but to take them to heart and factor them into how much I love myself. I also often times find myself second guessing random encounters I have with people I know throughout the day. “Why did I say that” or “Why did they do this”, “Should I have said this” “Was this a weird thing to do or say”……I am trying to train myself to just be myself and not worry about what other people think or whether or not I said or did something “right” but it’s just not something I have mastered yet. I care about what others think of me a lot more than I should. When you care so much what the other person is thinking it can hold you back a lot from having meaningful encounters and conversations with other people, and can make things weird or awkward that really in all honesty don’t need to be. For these reasons, I give myself a 7 1/2, and hope to continue to work on my negative points for a possible 8 or 8 1/2 in the future.
A 4-5 maybe? There are many ways in which I have grown in the last several years, and in that time I have become much more independent and self relient, which has made me a bit distant and has taken away some of my drive. While I think that I might have relied a bit too much on others and almost been anxiously driven in the past, now life feels a bit dead. I do not get very excited about much, and when I do it is typically in private. I have found that other people like to kill happiness and punish weakness, so that it is not good to express emotions in front of others. I do not like that I have become so closed off from others and also from life.
I also am not happy with my body. I know that it is better than the average body, in looks, fitness, and overall health. My blood pressure is amazing and other than a bit of a neck problem I am very healthy. I work out harder than almost anyone else and people say that I am thin. Yet I am still unhappy, but only with the physical part of my appearance. I feel like I can and should do better, and that all I need is some self discipline to eat healthier and loose another 5-10 pounds. I am not happy with the weight or the lack of self discipline.
I wish I was more positive. I think that would really impact my entire life. I could be happy with my body, and more open to others. I feel myself criticizing other people in the way I do myself, especially about weight. I am a fairly accepting person, and I believe that if a person tries hard that they will succeed. That is, I suppose, why I cannot accept fat people or people who don’t speak English. It is because there is a lack of trying there. Yeah it’s hard. Life is hard.
Since I am highly judgmental, I expect others to also judge me harshly, so I rarely trust others when they are complimentary, and I never give compliments unless they are well deserved. I don’t think most people realize that, but I know my mom does because I told my brother that he was really good at being Scooby Doo at Six Flags, and my mother said that it must be the truth because I had said it.
On the plus side, I do make an effort to be better. I do love my friends and will really go out of my way for them. I don’t mind doing favors for people, especially when it involves one of my skills or passions, and I love planning. I am very dedicated and loyal. It is pretty hard for someone to weasel out of being my friend.
7. There is always room for improvement. 30BBM has helped a lot but I need to try harder to be a better person and love myself for who I am.
21DJC#8: On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?
For me, loving yourself = loving life. So I think that anything below 10/10 is just stupid.
YOU are the person whom you’ll spend most of your life with. So if you don’t love this person 100%, you can’t say you’re living life to it’s fullest.
Self-love is the most unconditional type of love. You cannot fully love others until you’ve completely accepted yourself as you are.
Self-acceptance is the first step towards self-love. There is no reason then to not love yourself 100% if you know that you are doing your best in life.
On the scale of 1-10…i giv myself 9 marks….
On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say I love myself at level 4 because I’m still getting to know myself properly. I’m striving to find out who I am – what I feel, think, and really want. That’s an improvement as I have been able to say I like myself only recently.
5.
I love myself enough to follow my dreams, to pursue my passion- or at least now I am. I am growing, but sometimes I slip.
I also find myself questioning how self love comes and why I have worth. That and I find myself lacking confidence in everyday life.
Hopefully this journaling challenge will help me realize the fallacious thoughts and let me raise my rating higher. :)
On a scale of 1-10 I would say nowadays it would be an all time low of a 5. I used to really feel good about myself but now even if I go out a lot and I try to live life, I think I have really been hit by what they call the quarter life crisis. I feel like I do not have the energy of taking care of myself better, and I do not know what to do with my life. It is not a good feeling and it is affecting me big time. I hope that God will whisper to me what my purpose in life is and whatever I would be doing is his will.
Today I love myself 9.
It took me many heavy steps to climb from the low digits of self-doubt and even self-hatred, overcoming the childhood of my mistaken self, always at fault of being inadequate in some form or the other. Guilty of misbehaving, not eating up my dinner and crap of such sort..
Many years spent on self-study of trying to prove my worthiness to myself, to dig up the little me who was so perfect when she was born. Done that – proved it – fullfilled myself in many areas of my life. The most important being a mother, giving birth to a new life, giving myself, my time and my life to another person – people I love fully: my daugher and my son. Being a mom topped everything – professional, intellectual and material success. Thanks God I am a woman.. Big thanks God, really!
Some say material success is not important but I beg to differ. Had I have more money I would simply procreated more than twice in order to have more people to love and hug and cherish.. which in turn makes me love myself more..
I feel awkward hugging strangers – have to be my own kids..
I think it would be pretentious to say 10, but I feel like millions buks now…ja,ja..!
I know I am grown up, almost 50, but have great freedom that comes with age. I was involved in a not very succesful mariage for 20 years and had suffer a lot puting my self in the last place all the time.
When I discovered what was I able to achive, I got so “inloved” with my self that sometimes feel to pride and vain, but I guess this is something good to me.
I like to reward my self with little and big “treats”, since good food, placed in nice dishes, nice glasses, delicous wine, allways natural flowers, great music, and bon a petit madame..! I dont expect my d
aughters to come and join me if they are bussy, I just have my special time for me, with or without company. I go shopping when I can do it, and buy what ever I want even if it is a little out of my budget, and I say to my self “you deserv it, you work hard”…!
I go to the theatre, operas, concerts, or anything I feel I want to.
I travel feew times a year with or without company, and have great time alone as with my friends or family.
I guess this happiness with my self has been a gift from the half century I am almost in…!
Studies: 3, I just found out my math grade lowered to 71%C..not good grades. My grade in history has lowered too.
Wealth: 0, I got no money or any work to win money right now.
Health: 4, I don’t exercise but my diet and sleep hours are adequate.
Social/friends: 7. I think I HAVE improved a lot! ^w^ but..I still got way more to learn.
Family: 5, I’m not spending much time with my family even if I do love them very much.
Romance/Love: 2, no boyfriend, no crush but I am aware of what type of person I would date.
Recreation/Fun: 2, I did spend it AWESOME this weekend but I wish I could spend more time with my friends.
Contribution: 1, I do wish to help but I’m not contributing anything relevant to society right now.
Personal Growth: 6, I’ve changed a lot but I still feel like I’ve got lots and lots still to discover ahead.
Spiritual: 2, I’m not sure in what I believe in right now but I am aware I am afraid of death and half believe in ghosts/ufo
Self-Image: 5, I like my appearance but I wish I could dress in a way that could express more my personality.
Total: 6/10 I’d rate myself a 6. I tend to feel more like I’ve got so much more to learn I can’t count it than things I have already. Like Celes said: I only know that I know nothing. :D
Sorry if I wrote something badly. I was half asleep and distracted, to be honest, as I posted this. :rolleyes:
I have to say I give myself a ten. I have come to realize how important it is to take care of myself and to love me for who I am. In the last few years, I allowed other people in my life to make me feel like I wasn’t a good person because they did not agree with the life decisions I have made. But honestly, after all this time, I realize that I should not allow others to make me feel bad, and more importantly, I should never allow them to try and control my life.
As with many others, I would give myself a greater score now than I would in the past. Although I think I probably realise more so now, that I was unhappier then, than I realised at the time.
Although this is about me now, if I were to turn back the clock ten years ago, I had just turned 20. I was extremely low on confidence, single and that was unlikely to change, very clever and I had a good job, but socially I had little involvement in anything other than going out with friends and getting drunk – to the point that I would be sick each weekend without fail and rough most of Sunday. I think I did this because alcohol gave me ‘dutch courage’ – i.e. false confidence. I was able to let go of how unhappy I was with myself.
But then I met a girl at 21 and my life changed for the better. The relationship didn’t work out in the end, but everything happens for a reason, and at 27 I met my current fiance (I’m now 30). Job great, family great, friends good, fiance super, social life better.
On a scale of 1 – 10, I would rate myself about 8. I feel I am in control of where my life is heading, and I look forward to the future with excitement. I know what I want. I am happy with who I am, but there are areas which I feel I can develop in order to make myself a better person. That’s one reason why I am part of this community!
When I first saw this post, I was about to give myself a 3 or 4. But I realized that I shouldn’t be so harsh on myself. Sure, there may be things that I’m not especially happy about but the important thing is that I’m making an effort to improve. And as long as there is a consistent effort, there is no reason to undermine yourself. For now, I’m giving myself a 5. There is still that fear inside me and I think there’s still a long way to go in terms of loving and accepting myself fully. However, though the journey will be difficult it’s fulfilling and I’m looking forward to it. The qualities I like so far are that I’m dependable, truly care about others, am a good listener, can adjust/accommodate to situations, and am friendly and easygoing. I’d like to improve on the negative self talk that goes on in my head, the insecurities and fears I have, my low self-confidence and esteem, and overall improve my physical, mental, and spiritual health. This isn’t something that comes overnight but has to occur in baby steps. And I’m positive that I will one day accept and truly love myself.
when I was younger I didn’t really love my self but now I feel like I love myself enough because I feel better year after year so i give myself an 8 :)
10 – I love me a lot. I’m still not perfect, but I am the best me that I can be. Better yet, I’m constantly striving to become more than I am. I wouldn’t trade me for anyone else.
Hmmm… Maybe a 7? Or between 6 and 7.
One thing I can claim is that I’ve certainly improved during the past few years. I doubted my self a lot before. I still doubt myself in some occasions, but I am policing my inner talk. And I’m getting better at talking back to that inner critical voice.
What’s keeping me from giving a better grade are two stuff: self confidence that could be higher, and the fact that sometimes I do unexpectedly stupid, impulsive things – like binge on junk food, or snap at someone without thinking, or sabotage my plans in someway…
What I can say is that this topic is quite abstract to me. I wanna improve, and I’ve been improving but I can’t pinpoint a certain action that will increase my self-love. I’m just trying to generally go in a direction of feeling better, more positive, positive self talk and taking care and appreciating myself. Wow, writing it down makes it seem like I do have a clear vision.
Anyways, this topic is mysterious. I just hope I can continue making progress!
Ahhhhh! Late again! Sorry about that:)
hmmm… Well this is an interesting question. I’ve never actually thought of self love this way. And now that I think about it, and as much as I would like to say I deeply love my self, I regretfully have to say I don’t think I do love myself very much. Of course I care for myself but when I actually start breaking it down and comparing it to how I would treat and care for say… a girlfriend it brings to light how little i do actually care for myself. I let myself eat poor unhealthy foods, i let myself get and stay out of shape, i let myself poison my liver over and over again, i let myself damage my skin in the sun, i let myself damage my teeth when i keep forgetting to floss, i let myself damage my nerve endings in my feet when i don’t put shoes on in the cold, i let my eyes get damaged but the sun, i let myself become ignorant because it takes more effort to learn. Wow i really don’t care for myself the way i’d like to. Hmmm… this makes a good list. A to do list for myself!
I found it hard to quantify this – i.e. applying a scale to love. It’s hard enough when we love someone else, even hard for self-love.
I would say 6-7.
Why not less? Because I’ve become confident and have learned to appreciate myself as a person. I’m responsible, dependable, and have a very “likeable” character. I’ve had very positive feedback from friends and colleagues and other people I meet. I am very determined and usually achieve whatever I set out to do.
Why not more ? Because I still have many areas where I can improve. Although I love myself, I still eat unhealthy food and not really determined to lose weight. I also sometimes tend to take on too much responsibility and overwork.
Hmmm…I’d have to say a 7. There are days when I’m quite harsh with myself, but I’m making great strides with learning to accept me. There are days when I think “Way to go girlie!”. There are days when I put too much stock in what other people think. There are days when I’m confident in my direction. I guess I kind of fluctuate between a 3 and a 9. I don’t believe I want to be at a 10 as I think too much love of self isn’t healthy. In my opinion there must be room for humility for there to be room to be human. I’ve been at a 1 and I know very well that isn’t healthy either. All things in moderation eh?
A couple years ago I would have said 1, but I am at about and 8 now. Whereas before I was at a downturn in my life and really was not happy with any part of it, now I have had the opportunity to get to know myself better and I feel a lot better about myself and my life. I feel good about who I am.
Hi Shannon,
Imagine how you’ll feel in a couple years being 10!
I love stories of success myself going from 1 or even below.Good for you!
We all have tendency to whine for various reasons, so very fashinable nowadays, and at the time of whine attack our sadness feels so real, so true.
I come from a country where millions were baked in concentration camp ovens so when the time of confusion arrives to complain about the the service at the store, slow co-worker or the morning too rainy I say to myself – get a grip pathetic whinner: you are alive!
Get into state of 10 fast, Shannon!
Iwona
I am working on it. Thank you. Good luck to you in your future.
I love your energy! Truly inspiring to me this early morning at work! :)
I love how precious my soul is and how I have taken upon myself to foster the growth of that soul. I have fell in love with myself in the recent few years after completing an intense leadership training weekend which reintroduced myself to myself. I have now taken my needs a lot more seriously whenever I have them, and have learned to listen to myself, give myself credit, appreciation, gratitude, respect, and warmth. Like a few of the members have mentioned, the relationship I have with myself is the most important relationship I’ll have in life. All other relationships will benefit because of it.
It really depends on my mood…
It could be anywhere from 6 to 10. I can become angry with myself and “hate” myself if I make big mistakes and faux pas, or if I lose excellent opportunities. Sometimes, I feel like I can’t really trust my inner feelings when they influence me to make illogical decisions. Especially ones regarding relationships.
I guess I’ve learned how to pick myself up after feeling down for a while. I would never actually hate myself.
I really love myself when I succeed. I feel great after completing a tough assignment, a grueling workout, or making new friends. That’s when I would get this AWESOME feeling just for being who I am.
Most of the time, I’d give myself an 8. But now I’m thinking, why not make it a 10 all of the time? Why not make it an 11? What’s there to stop any of us from loving ourselves? :D
I think we all feel bad about ourselves at times. As long as we are more often feeling good about ourselves, we are doing better than a lot of people.
I just had a conversation about this the other day. I love myself alot, I’d say a 9 because there are times when I’m not so kind to myself, like when I overdose on Krispy Kreme donuts. Love of self and Krispy Kreme cannot coexist (joking). But seriously I love myself a lot and I enjoy spending time with myself. I told a friend that it may be hard for me to find a mate because I would always have myself to compare her to. She’d have to be better than or equal to what I can do for myself. That is some steep competition because I have put a lot of time and effort into who I am today and on working on those things I’d like to improve upon myself.
Oh, this is a tough one for me. I am currently seeing a therapist even, because up till now, I did not love myself almost at all. I would not even allow myself to dream about things, and my viewpoint was that I have to sacrifice myself in order to get at least a tiny bit of appraisal. This viewpoint now has changed, and I am working on self-acceptance and self-love. At the moment, I would say it is 5, right in the middle, and I hope to get that up, because otherwise I can do good to no one.
Bazik, I believe you are on a very strong positive track on improvement on yourself . Keep it up!! :)
Bazik do not give up. Loving yourself is a goal worth pursuing more than any other. The process takes many years as we all have been contaminated throughout our lives by the messages of not being enough:
– Others are oh so much better! They fight for orphans, hungry and opressed – we, lowly ones struggle merely to make a living, selfishly focused on earning daily bread to support ourselves and our families.
– Others live fabulous, passionate lives full of meaning and high conscious energy vibrations – we, human worms plug away Monday to Friday dragging our feet uneventfully through boring jobs..
What a pressure to advance to the higher planes, where the self-fullfilled folks dwell!
All along our lives pass us by with the wonderfullness of sunny mornings, rainy afternoons, countless warm pots of coffee, a child’s smile. A tragic loss of time – time which is the ultimate treasure.
We look for monumental change To Become but the change to our lifes and towards happiness lies in simple moments and if we can just capture enough of those moment through the simple act of awareness we collect a treasure which is a wonderful life – our wonderful life. Without the pressing need to be The Great Saviour of Humanity but perhaps with much more humble goal to be a good friend or a parent to a child or perhaps just fullfilled human being.
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