This is Day 6 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 6 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “Who Is the Most Important Person to You in the World?“.
As usual, I had a lot of joy reading your responses. Some of you stated your mom as the most important person to you. Some of you said your father. Some of you said it was yourself. Some of you said your child(ren). Some of you said your spouse. Then there were other answers, including God / a higher power / spirit, your pet, your friends, etc.
There’s no right or wrong answer, because what’s important to us is relative. The same for all other questions posed in 21DJC – there is no such answer as a one, true answer. There’s only what’s true for yourself, and the objective of 21DJC is to invite you to reflect, connect with your inner self, and growing through the self reflection.
If you haven’t not realized, the very process of answering the questions for the past 5 days have helped to clarify your thoughts. Some people may look at the questions and think “Ah, I’ll think about it later” or “This is too much for me and I can’t be bothered to think”. But for these people, they feel resistant towards the questions because they’re in a mental fog. And this fog doesn’t go anywhere until they sit down and properly think about what they are resisting.
By thinking about who is the most important person to you in the world, it has helped you to gain awareness of who matters the most to you, and hopefully, made you realize how much you should treasure him/her. You live only once, so don’t hold back on your emotions towards this individual, thinking that you have “next time”. Be true to him/her and let him/her know of your gratitude towards him/her. Be grateful to the universe for bringing him/her into your life.
Me, the most important person in my life is my higher self. My parents are among the dearest to me in this life. So are my best friends, and good friends. And the same goes for all of you out there in this world; the very people whom I’ve dedicated my life to help to grow and live your best lives. There is no dispute that all of you are infinitely important to me.
But my higher self – the person who orchestrated my birth into this world, who has been watching me silently all this while, who has been supporting me in my life, who has been with me through thick and thin, who has always given me strength to carry on – is pretty much the reason why I’m even here, in this world. There’s still so much I don’t know; so much I have not done; so much I have to do, and I know that my higher self will be with me all the way till the end, to guide me, to support me, and to carry me whenever needed.
Because of her, I’m here. Because of her, I’m now living in alignment with my highest self. I’m far from being my highest self yet, though I’m working in that direction. The day will come when I will come full circle with her, and I look forward to that happening one day, soon.
Important: Get Your Gravatar
Some of you have gotten yourself an avatar since the start of the challenge, while many of you are still appearing as Red PE Logos! (i.e. the default profile picture that appears beside each comment)
While I love the PE logo, I would love even more to see an individualized picture when I read your writings. I’m sure the other participants would love that too! It can be your real life photo, to a picture of your favorite flower, to your pet, to some scenery, to some quirky text. The point is to let your true self shine.
To set your custom profile picture, visit Gravatar, register your account (Important: Make sure it’s the same email as the one you use in your blog comments) and upload your profile picture. Your picture will automatically be reflected in all your blog comments where you had filled out the same email address as the one in your Gravatar account.
Look forward to seeing your new profile pictures! ;)
With that said, let’s now move to Day 6!
21DJC Day 6
After reflecting on the most important person in our life, today’s question brings us to a different emotion – but a very true one. Today, I’d like you to reflect on:
What Frustrates You?
Think about the times when you tend to feel frustrated. What typically happens in those times? What is it about those incidences that frustrate you? And why?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Frustrated woman))
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First I want to say , I missed yesterdays question as the darn pc was down ! UGH . But the most important people in my life are my children and grands . I have 4 boys and 6 grands and they bring me such joy and happiness . when you get older your children become your friends . and your grands become just plain fun little people !
Now todays question , what frustrates me , People who do not do there job who “gold brick” all day who get away with coming in late and skipping out early ,who sneak off and take to many smole breaks . Who don’t act like team members with others. Some one who is always late to work , who has no thought or consideration for those who have already worked all shift .I am a nurse and often we work short ..OOPS !! did I say the “S” word !! .I also become very frustrated with stupid forms , policy and procedure , that is B.S . I miss real nursing where your focus was the resident ( I am a geriatric nurse ) I miss regular old nurses notes . writing what is , I hate check off forms , they make me want to say really bad words ! LOL So in order to curb these frustrations , each day before I go to work I meditatate and say a prayer for patience and tolerance for those I work with and care for … It is alllll about attitude ,
Namasta !.
What frustrates me most is lack of clarity! Lack of clarity about what I am supposed to do or how to do it, lack of clarity in communications, lack of clarity about goals and plans and processes and boundaries.
Just about every problem I have ever had and every difficulty I’ve ever faced comes down to lack of clarity.
Lack of clarity in communication is a common problem, and it comes mostly from spending lots of time using the computer (which is my case too).
But I heard that playing charades helps because in this game we can only use signs to express our thoughts which pushes us to improve our communication skills.
i dont know if all my entries from previous days are getting posted as other than today i am only using my phone
the thing that frustrates me the most is that some people look at you as if you are crazy because you can impliment concepts into your life, just because they can’t understand how to do it. everyone has the potential for everything why dis those that get one point before you do, there are many things you have done that i havent done yet and i dont dis others we all grow in our own way to be the beautiful creations we are meant to be we are all different and that makes us all precious comparing yourself to others is like comparing rocks to plants
i am frustrated when i am not living in accordance with my true self. When i have set goals and i am not working hard to achieve them. When i am not taking responsibility for my own actions and feelings. When i judge myself and others.
Shiroh, I think that’s part of the human condition. We all want to be better than we are — healthier, wiser, better educated, etc — but something gets in the way. It’s hard when something is important to you and you can’t seem to do any of the things that will help you achieve your goals.
This question couldn’t have come at a better- or is it worse?- time. I am really frustrated with myself. I’m doing what I want to be doing, I have the time and the freedom to do it, and yet, most days I’m making very little progress. For a while I thought it was maybe because I had a goal but no specific plans. So last week, I followed Celes’ goal-making series to a T, and have my life planned out for the next two months in minute detail.
While I’ve accomplished a little bit of that plan in the past week, it’s been very little. I’ve tried to “drill down” to what’s really holding me back. I’m pretty sure I’m doing what I want to be doing right now- writing a self-help book and blog. I really love it (when I’m doing it) and get lost in my work. I’m also pretty sure it’s fear that’s holding me back now. Even though I know it’s good enough, I worry that it’s not as good as it could be, or that no one will care about it when it’s done. What if I do all of this work, and no one reads it? (already unfounded. My very inconsistent blog gets surprisingly good traffic) What if this is not the way for me to reach my ultimate goals? What if I’m just wasting my time when I should be working on things that will make more money? (even though I don’t really need to worry about that right now, and worrying about how it will be even a few months from now is a complete waste of time)
I don’t feel the fear openly most of the time, but I think it manifests itself in other ways. I feel tired a lot, even though I get plenty of sleep. I procrastinate like crazy. I sit around waiting for the “right” time to get started when any time is the right time. I find a million meaningless other activities to do that keep me from getting to the important stuff.
I feel like I’m at an impasse right now. I know that I tend to be too hard on myself and I probably need to back off, but any backing off means I’m NOT GETTING STUFF DONE. Which I’m not getting done anyway. Maybe, at the very least, I need to take a day or two to sort my head out, journal like a mo-fo in my personal journal and see if I can break through this thing.
Whew! Feel better already. :-)
After being associated with personal growth for sometime now, i decided to take some words out of my vocabulary and frustration was one of them. This does not mean that the word or the situation does not occur or that it does not happen to me. It does but i choose to see it as another learning opportunity or a chance to re-adjust and refocus on whatever the situation might be. You see, its not what happens to me that matters but what i think of what happens and how i choose to handle the whole situation that makes all the difference
in life. So i never allow anything to frustrate me as i always choose the good out of every situation that
i face every single day. In other words,i have a positive outlook of life by choice.
Sendijja, Good Morning , Yes focus and readjust . That is all about attitiude , I am going to work on taking that word out of my vocabulary as well Good idea,my friend , “Blessed Be'”
Hi Ishi,
When you fail to meet your goals it further motivates you even more to get the things done next time. :)
You definitely hold a Positive Energy….just be Positive and you will see things getting solved on your own. And yes we can’t change other people unless they are willing to change themselves.
Wish you the best in life. :)
When some people look down at you like you don’t know nothing. They don’t even know you and yet they judge who you are.
I am often frustrated, sometimes with myself, sometimes with other people. I get frustrated:
• When I fail to meet my goals
• when things do not work out as I planned, specially as a result of other people not having the same motivation and drive – when things take longer than I think they should
• when my kids spend more time playing or reading , rather than studying and then getting low results, specially when I know their potential
• When I am trying to change something in my life, or establish a new habit and I stop after some time – mostly in relation to my weight loss. I normally achieve whatever I set out to do, and it frustrates me that this determination does not really apply when it comes to healthy living and weight loss
• When I don’t find time to declutter and my house seems like a junk yard again (Specially now that the kids are on holidays!)
• when people are narrow-minded, negative or jealous or just gossiping (specially at work)
• when people spend energy focussing on problems rather than solutions
• at work: when some people think they should be given more respect because they are older, have worked longer in the company
• When people fail to deliver what they promise , their lack of commitment
• Waiting, in queues, at the doctor or dentist, in the traffic – thinking it’s a waste of time (this is a little less
now as I can use that time for meditating or reading my mail on my smartphone)
One of the common themes in the above is waste (of time, of resources, of energy, of talent ). My frustrations are very closely linked to my five values – Excellence/Achievement, Love, Learning/Growth, Responsibility/Commitment , Fairness.
I think I care too much, and take things personally. You cannot help people who do not want to be helped, and you cannot change people , unless they decide they want to change.
Hi Ish,
When you fail to meet your goals it further motivates you even more to get the things done next time.
You definitely hold a Positive Energy….just be Positive and you will see things getting solved on your own. And yes we can’t change other people unless they are willing to change themselves.
Wish you the best in life.
Hi Ish,
going thru’ your list really makes me connect as i too as a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, a goal seeker have the very same frustrations…….nice to know someone else in the world is at par but more importantly trying to fight through to get to a better self :)
Rudeness. Stupidity. Cruelty. Laziness. Bullying. Ingratitude.
There is far too much of it; these traits embody the absolute worst of humanity.
Grrrrr!
Never giving myself a break on being “good enough”. Getting out of balance by working myself way too hard in a way that noone I work for expects. Feeling like I never got the memo on self confidence or trusting my decisions.
We should be more like cats, they are SUPER confident!
Frustration means being unable to control my emotions, letting my imagination run too wild and expecting too much.
I can be described as adamant, selfish, stubborn in my own views and ruthlessly insensitive at times. But there are also most times when I am caring, sensitive to others’ feelings, showing concerns to people I care and being understanding.
What become frustrating is because when I don’t get my way, and I forget how to handle it, how to l ‘let go’ and ‘flow’ with nature.
Negative situations arise when:-
– I don’t get what i want, be it material stuffs, emotional drained or getting the kind of response I anticipated.
– i don’t feel understood by people I love.
– I face non-supportive working environment
– I had to betray my true self to go along with others
– I don’t achieve my goals that I set too high
– I placed too much expectations from my partner to bring me happiness
– I become over reliant as a result of habit
– I felt not rested enough.
But, frustrations also came up during better situations, when things got better over time, I took things for granted and, end up wanting more again.
I believe there is balance to everything, I understand I cannot be expected to be happy or at peace all the time.. Definitely there will be events which will disrupt our sense of peace / happiness, but all it takes is ‘own reaction relative to the situation’.
I have been continuously practicing emotional balancing the past few months (and slipping back to my old self several times, beat myself up and re-start again) I realized that I don’t have to be happy (over the moon kind) to be happy, just showing gratitude daily and reflecting on what went right instead of wrongs can do a great deal to my mood
And I realized that to control my emotions, it all starts from myself, when: –
– I don’t depend on others to make me happy
– I challenge myself and try out new things, learn new skills and knowledge, putting my time to good use, for myself
– I talk to myself, treating myself as my best friend, in positive manners
– I exercise regularly, eat healthily and snuggle into bed on time, everyday, including saturdays and sundays
– I get to make my own choices, I own up to myself and make myself responsible for my decisions and actions
– I try to understand others’ views first before making my own.
– I learn to take things easy, focusing on the process rather than the outcome
It feels like hard work at times because my personality is of such hard nature that I don’t make friends easily, I can’t open up to others due to my obstinate character, and my self-centeredness. (Jia you)
Viole: this is thoughtful and insightful. You have not only identified sources of frustration, you have looked deeper and found ways to work on it.
Your submission,’I talk to myself, traet myself as my best friend,inpositive manners’is significant and quite revealing,and…therapeutic,
1) So much going on at work that I have to railroad it all through in a hurry and don’t have the time to spend to make sure everything is done properly. Also, I don’t get to spend the time learning new skills.
2) My tendency to procrastinate.
3) I’m not making the progress in life I want to be making (related to 2)
4) Government and business leaders not acting in the public interest.
5) Expenses keep going up faster than income.
Things I have no control over! Not being able to find employment, but having all the qualifications in hand. Not being able to get my family out of debt. Being lied to by a loved one & knowing the truth to that lie without them knowing.
Being stuck in ‘wait mode’ while everyone else’s life is moving forward. Relationships, marriage, kids, buying a house…and all I can do is wait & hope that each day things get a little better, a little easier. I’m so tired of waiting, I just want my life to start moving forward.
Hi Vicky,
Truly understand that! The waiting game is the hardest part and you just want to see what’s next, hoping things will turn out the better.
You have come this far now. So keep it up and have faith!
God bless you
Kathy
My frustrations deal with:
a. My own sense “I can’t do it”
b. I lose control (yes, on some level-I know I do not control anything)
c. I put things off
d. I attempt to control situations.
Lies and backstabbing really irk me…..
Every time one comes forth with a lie and i get to know his/her way behind it i.e i learn that that person’s lying, i really get frustrated delving into why the person has to lie and not just come out with the truth
Also when someone commits to following something and turns-out to be callous with the commitment then i tend to feel that the person should rather have not boasted to abide a promise only to take it for granted
Finally one of the most frustrating things in life, one that frustrates all us seekers of the ideal self is when i myself fail to achieve the targets set by me to reach a specific high….it makes me feel that i’m not good enough but much later i learn that its not that i ain’t good enough but the fact is that when you want to achieve something that’s not out of routine of your daily life then it wouldn’t be that i would reach there as fast as a bamboo shoot but i would gradually cite my way up slowly like a basil and for that patience is the key……
Lies are really frustrating, they are almost always the beginning of problems.
It’s great though that you’re absorbing inspiration from nature.
Hi Aslo, I totally agree with you. Lies and backstabbing are not only frustrating, but make me feel angry and hurt as well.
I really like your analogy with the bamboo and basil :D
What Frustrates You?
1. The time is takes to learn something.
2. Not preparing enough.
3. Not being any to get my message across as quickly and clearly as I want.
These are all things I am working on to improve.
Was just thinking about this yesterday, and this question now pushes me to think about it even deeper.
Yesterday I become conscious of what frustrates me in general. Turns out that what frustrates me most often isn’t a global crisis or a worthy cause , it’s simply when others disagree with me!
Now my frustration is with myself. Everyone is entitled to their own unique opinion so it’s not practical or good for my own self to feel ticked whenever someone disagrees.
That’s why I think participating in communities that encourage openness minus judgementalness (like PE) is beneficial :)
Absolutely true…..many of us end up making mountains out of mole issues and we fail seeing the bigger picture that our frustrations aren’t as big enough as someone dying from some peculiar problems in some distant poverty-ridden place
That’s a good idea;Seeing the big picture … it sounds like an interesting technique to instantly sift through our problems & realize what really matters
What frustrates me?
My actions that usually are not into accordance with my thoughts and values. I usually betray myself.
My actions which are not in harmony with my inner me, get me frustrated to the point that I am beaten down and don’t feel any desire to live joyfully and to my full potentials. Being impulsive in some situation is frustrating. I try hard not to be but in some occasion, my actions are faster than thoughts.
My outer self, me in the real world, me in practice, me in real life often frustrates me.
Plans which fails to be put into practice, being careless towards my dearest and my dreams , my inability to respond in several situation, not listening to my intuition, not listening to my heart, etc. These are things that frustrates me a lot, make me angry, feel so down and not powerful to live my dreams.
Taking part into this blog is one of my ways to overcome this frustration and get inspired by you Celes!
Thank you :)
I can honestly say that my brother frustrates me to no end. I love him and all but he can be a real dick sometimes and I find it just frustrating. I get he does it to annoy and be a little brother but sometimes I really wish he knew his limits. I think I”m just acting like a big brother and just find it annoying but I do feel better when I get him back
Losing a game I really love or am into. I play pokemon simulators online since I can’t do wifi battles and losing can be so frustrating. I start thinking how I could’ve done better or doubting how I did or my progress. Sometimes I just want to yell in frustration and I really don’t know how to handle that. It also applies to other games to that I like. Sometimes I just want to stop playing all together.
I also get frustrated when I make mistakes I could avoid. It makes me feel worse when things go well then BAM it hits me square in the nose. I’d get over it but things like missing my bus or forgetting to do something is just plain frustrating.
Finally wanting to do things but feeling like I dont have enough time for it. I find that really frustrating because I do try to take care of my priorities but it really doesn’t help when I can’t do the other things I want like video games, take naps those kinds of things. Sometimes I just wish there are more hours in a day but it won’t happen that easy. These are just some of the things I feel frustrated about ;)
I get frustrated when things don’t meet my expectations. There are times when the frustration leads to anger and I realize how important it is to keep calm and rationalize things before making the next step to address the object of my frustration. Sometimes choices have to be made…to accept that things sometimes sinmply cannot be as we expect them, or try again using other options. Either way, the objext of frustration has to be addressed and resolved.
There are a few things that frustrate me…
– When my brother plays the computer for very long
– When someone bullies (cyberly, physically or emotionally) someone else
– When my parents ignore or fight each other
– Wasted time (usually on the computer)
– When my group members are irresponsible
And why…? (order of the above list)
– I can’t work on my blog, and there’s absolutely nothing else to do in the house (I don’t have a phone (at least it’s spoiled…) and there’s no other computer/laptop available)
– I can’t stand people who are hurt
– I love both of my parents and I can’t imagine them separating
– Time is super precious to me
– They take advantage over me, and I end up doing most of the work. In the end, everyone gets equal credit.
hey Amanda I’ve been following you since 21-day Meditation challenge and every time i read something you post i find myself nodding in approval…..you are on the right track of life, its a pity that many are desolate and do not identify churning life into an ideal picture at a young age only to start working much later…….thumbs up to you….
I don’t get frustrated easily but there are a few things which do get me frustrated such as –
– My procrastinating habit.
– On things which are not in my control and yet I have to worry about them.
– Me holding myself back and not realizing my true potential.
– Fear of losing.
– Not knowing the art of saying ‘No’ to people, which often lands me into situations I don’t like.
– When people try to take undue advantage out of me and think that they are smarter than others.
– Corruption and the overall state of politics.
– When money becomes more important than Human values.
– Current state of education, employment, poverty and crime.
– Getting too much involved in materialistic things.
– India losing in a cricket match.
– Not taking enough care of myself(health, diet etc)
irresponsibility of others frustates me, infact some of my silly mistakes mostly frustate me,
The times that I feel frustrated are usually when I am sick. My health is something I have been struggling with for several years now and often the powerlessness that I feel when I am sick or have to change plans because of it is hugely frustrating!! I cannot stand to feel helpless, useless, powerless and unable to somehow effect the situation I am in. I know from years of experience, that I have control issues in certain areas of my life. I am very hard on myself when I am not able to do what I “should” be able to do or I’m not making a recovery as fast as I ought to be able to…I don’t know where this standard of abilities comes from or who creates it but my mind and heart are deeply frustrated when I do not live up to these expectations I have set in my life.
I am certain that my health and my ability to have a more acceptable quality of life are not the only things that frustrate me, but I am also certain that any other area where I am frustrated, it is because I do not have the ability to somehow affect, fix, improve or change what is happening. It’s all about control and the power to fix and heal and do. And that is not always mine to have, nor should it be.
I am working on letting go and have come a long way towards accepting what I can change and making peace with that which I have absolutely no control over. It is a really hard thing to do. I still haven’t mastered it but I am trying and when I feel frustrated I try to remind myself that someone else is in control and everything will be okay. Somehow….
Times that makes me frustrated and what happens after/during that time:
1. When someone is being successful at something I love when I am afraid of doing it. Again, it kinda wounds my ego because my ego stops me from doing it as it gives me excuses, but when others just do things and become successful, I think to myself “I did not do that!!!”.
2. My negative thought patterns. It is actually negative because my thoughts are usually egoistic. Always directing me to doing what seems ‘Awesome’, ‘Cool’, ‘Not weird’, etc. But I like doing some of those things which seem ‘Weird’ to my ego.
What is it about those incidences that frustrate you? And why?
What frustrates me is my ego. I don’t like it because it is moving me to the unwanted direction in my life. It pains me when I see others easily succeed at something when I am here listening to this thing called the ‘Ego’.
It pains me when I want to so something but then my ego stops me from doing it. An example is, “Feeling my emotions’. I want to feel my emotions, but my ego gives me these weird excuses to not feel them.
I try not to let petty things get me down, but sometimes its good to vent out steam and frustration, if only to let go and move on with other important things.
But one thing that really irritates me is people wasting resources. Leaving lights on, taps running, wasting food at a buffet, using cars for 2-second distances and then moaning about rising gas prices, environmental pollution, global warming and so on… we don’t need to invent the next alternative to electricity, but surely we can do our bit to save some energy. Esp, since there are so many who are deprived of these basic comforts of life.
For me, this is very clear…what frustrates me is wasted time. It is the one quantity that I have.
I use each and every moment to the best that I can.
Sorry, my gravatar pic still will not come out.
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