21DJC Day 4 – If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?

This is Day 4 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.

Empty book for journaling

Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 4 of 21DJC! :)

Yesterday’s question was: “What is your ideal diet like?“. It was interesting reading your responses. Many of you seem to be in tune with what’s best for your body, which is great! Many of you stressed on a diet that’s filled in nutrition and void of empty calories since the latter does not benefit our body. Many of you are committed to removing unhealthy, junk food from your diet; At the same, a diet with high fruits and vegetables is a common vision across the board.

Ultimately all of us are different and have different needs, so go for the diet that you feel best about. There’s no need to feel compelled on a certain diet just because of what your parents, society, health magazines, or TV say.

If you eat something only to feel bad about it afterward, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, then it’s a cue that it’s probably not the ideal for you. This includes eating junk food on the spur of the moment, then beating yourself up over it or feeling “guilty” about it after that.

While you can argue that it’s a “treat” and you “deserve” it, the point is you yourself already acknowledge the food is bad and feel bad about eating it afterward. This in itself suggests a misalignment in your wants/needs that needs to be worked through, vs. allowing the conflicting behavior to perpetuate.

Either you have a candy bar because you *truly* feel it’s the best thing for your body, or you don’t have that. You can’t be thinking “this candy bar isn’t good” and still have that in your ideal diet. That doesn’t make any sense at all; it’s a contradiction in itself. Ideal means something that’s the highest of it all; something you acknowledge to be the best of the best for yourself.

In the end, your ideal diet should be one which you feel 110% emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually both in the short-run and in the long-run – nothing less than that. By having a clear idea of what your ideal diet is, it brings awareness to what you want to feed your body with. This makes it easier for you to achieve this goal in the long run.

While I have a vision of what my ideal diet is, I’m far from it at the moment – there are times when I go off track with my diet due to emotional eating, lack of my desired food, or circumstances. But the important thing is I always work on getting back on track. Being on your ideal diet may not happen overnight, but the important thing is you move closer towards it, and work on integrating it into your lifestyle, day by day. In time, you realize you are exactly where you want to be.

With that said, let’s now move to today’s question! ;)

21DJC Day 4

Today’s question is a fun one – one which involves some imagination and thinking outside of our current framework of time:

If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?

Time travel

How old would you be 3 years ago? What was happening at that time? What would you say to yourself? And why?

(Today’s question can be found in #21 of 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life.)

Your Task Today:

  1. Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
  2. Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
  3. Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
Look forward to reading your answers! :D

((Images: Empty book for journaling, Time travel))

258 comments
  1. Funny, 3 years ago from this moment, I was less than a month away from a huge breakdown in my life, when after almost 2 years of living together in some sort of constant high and dedicating my life to my boyfriend, this relationship ended in an ugly way, leaving me hurt and struggling to trust the human race in general. And yet, I don’t know what kind of advice would have helped me. To take it easy, since I am still going to the shrink 3 years after? Easier said than done, as we all know. Probably I would tell myself that it is important to love yourself, and to have love inside for others, and the capacity to forgive, and not cling to egoistic possessiveness. Also, I would just advise myself to be more interested in other people, genuinely so, and not to try and be perfect for everyone for them to appreciate. Just be myself and in case of doubt, ask yourself before doing anything – do you really want to do this? Oh, and do more yoga, it really helps.

  2. Go into being a Physical Therapy Assistant it is what you were meant to be.

  3. Next new car get gap insurance.

  4. Stella Zorro 14 years ago

    Get to a GOOD dentist and get your teeth taken care of! Get a job! Don’t believe a word he says…he will NEVER change and will just continue to hurt you. See him for who he really is. He is never going to be the guy you see. Stand or fall, he is who he is. Spend more time with D. Let J. pick something he wants to do. Move back there with the kids – don’t worry about what he is going to do. Right now is the time. It will be too late later on. Don’t waste your time on his fantasies that will never happen even when you make the impossible come to be. The only real things about him are the bad. Believe it! Now! Push the schools to give your kids what they need – it will make all the difference in the world.

  5. I would tell myself, get ready its going to be a hard time but you will be ok. Like on those hard times before this one you will learn, grow and be were your are suppose to be. Remember that everything happens for a reason and you will see that later. Remember that you are not alone, that you are never alone. You will learn and will keep learning who are the important people in your life. Who really matters. Don’t get discourage, keep your faith and stay positive. This is just a big pebble in your path. After all this you will have that little angel in your life, your granddaughter, that little angel will fill your heart with joy and happiness.

  6. This is a no brainer. I would tell myself not to let my in laws stay with me the first week my son comes home with me from the hospital. I would also not spend so much time with them trying to earn there acceptance. I would not tell my husband that the things they said about me upset me, and I wouldn’t say anything about them because of what they said. I would follow the saying if you don’t have anything nice to say than don’t say anything at all. I would have minimized there visitation at the hospital in a polite way. I wouldn’t have let them push me around they forced there way into doctor visits, and pushed me to let them babysit when I didn’t want to be away from my baby. The next baby I will do things way different. I tried to get them to like me and instead they were a nightmare. I wouldn’t have let my husband ever talk me into us borrowing money from them. In fact I never would have moved back home because of the pregnancy. It was my idea to move closer to family so it would benefit our son. It is what caused us to have finacial burden in the first place. I should have listen to my husband when he said are you sure you want to move back my mother is going to treat you badly. He was right she did. She bad mouthed me, push me around. I will husband from now on when he tells me something about his family. After all he knows them better than I do.

    I will listen to my husband when he advises me about his family.

    Follow the saying if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.

    Get to know someone before you make them your friend and don’t be so trusting.

    Don’t rely on family to tutor me in school pay for a tutor next time.

    In fact so I don’t forget this I am going to write this down.

  7. 3 years ago, I am 22, and I’m probably in Belgium at that moment. That year, I have the chance to travel to Paris the 2nd time.

    I Enjoyed being in Belgium, I met and stayed with an amazing family, and met amazing friends.

    Being abroad is not always easy, I was helping my family financially at that time. But I don’t have regrets.

    My family has always been an important part of my life. And I know I did what I have to do. If it wasn’t for all those trials and shortcomings we had before, we would not be as strong and as close as we are now. Even though the are things that we could not change, I am glad they are family.

    3 years ago, I have also met a wonderful family, they treated me as their own, they taught me a lot of important things I have to know about life.

    I am grateful for the people I have met 3 years ago, for until now, they are the most important people in my life.

    I would also tell myself to save a little money for herself. I have not had the chance to save for myself at that time. But all in all, I think I would just hug her and tell her how much she is loved. I would tell her to follow her dreams, take risks and just love herself first. I would tell her I am proud of her of all her accomplishments. I would tell her how important she is and how valuable she is.

    I would tell her I love her, and will always will. :)

  8. Vilma V. Padilla 14 years ago

    Back in time 3 years ago, there is not much now that I would give advice to myself. Because I think I have done mostly the right thing and the right priorities for these past three years.

  9. Jonathan Parenzee 14 years ago

    To stay true to myself?
    To be kinder to my family?
    Have more sex?
    Listen to others more?
    Speak your thoughts clearer?
    Speak softer?
    Improve your argument?
    Buy new shoes?
    Stop smoking?
    KISS HER?
    Pray more?

    Seems like a lot of regret is coming up. But have I followed this advice three years ago, I would not be in this place where I am at now. And this is exactly where I am supposed to be! So, having done the things up to now has placed me in a position to do this. I think that I was led here; my life path was set to stumble onto Personal Excellence!

    So no advice for 3 Years ago!

  10. Three years ago I lived in beautiful Tn . I was working a job I loved . surrounded by the beauty there made my heart tingle . I was happy and content there . I think the advice I could give then and now is to “follow your heart” be prayer ful of ALL things and faithful that God will take care of you . Be positive and manifest the things you want . Focus on joy and happiness . and shield self against negative people . Exercise , but my best advice is to MEDITATE each day . it is grounding and soothing and so centering . Take time with YOU . “Blessed Be” ~ Namasta ~

    • I really like your answer. I am wanting to start yoga and meditation myself. I have never done either. I know some yoga exercises due to an expert on t.v. that I done routinely. But the main focus of the trainer was regular movements and every now and then she would throw some yoga in to the routine. Your answer is inspiring. Have a wonderful day.

  11. Three years ago( Nov 2008) I was working in job that I didn’t like and also organizing events part-time .
    Knowing what I know now I would have changed career sooner, than being dragged down by a boring job that i had no passion for , it was just my confidence that held me back.

    I had just started a long distance relationship with a guy I dated briefly 4 years before. The relationship I had didn’t make sense and seemed to be going hot and cold looking back it was quite shallow and we didn’t know that much about each other but I still fell for this guy. If I knew then what I know now I would have asked more questions and been more persistent when I felt things weren’t going right and made sure that I met his family and friends earlier on, rather than finding out 3 years later he was already in a relationship and had a family of his own.

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing , its good to look back and see these lessons but sometimes you have to just go with what feels right at the time with the information you have to live your life fully.

  12. What would I tell myself 3 years ago? It was 2008 then, and I was 7. It was they year when I entered primary school.

    What I would tell myself 3 years ago depends on what time of the year it was.

    If it was the start of the year…I would give myself more encouragement since it was my first year of primary school – the 6-yr education that will shape my future, such as:

    – This is new for everyone in your level, so be strong and help others
    – Don’t give up even if you face difficulty in school
    – Work hard for your exams because you’ll be really really happy if you get high marks

    If it was after the exams and closer to the holidays (like it is now)…I would congratulate myself and give some other words…

    – Well done on your exams!
    – Don’t waste your holidays by doing useless stuff

    :D

  13. I would encourage myself to be bold and take that leap into the unknown! I would tell myself to lighten up and dare to live!

    I would tell myself to absolutely trust that voice in my head – to have more faith in myself and care for myself more. Three years ago this voice was telling me that I needed to immediately stop doing the sort of work I had been doing for the previous 15 years as I could no longer cope with it, both physically and mentally. I ignored that voice because I had no other work ideas and was terrified of not having an income. I also thought I needed to stop being a wimp and just get on with it. Early this year, I woke up one morning and knew that I could not go in to work. I have not returned. Yes, I am broke and yes, having limited finances is not brilliant, but I am truly SO much happier and am enjoying life SO much more than when I was working at my old job. I would never previously have believed this would be possible. This time off has taught me to love myself (and others) more. I am also learning that I don’t have to feel guilty if I have fun. My energy is returning and I have a real zest for life now. Hurray!

  14. Rewinding back 3 years i feel that i should have:
    Not stopped yoga, every bit counts
    Cultivated the habit of meditation which i was just sniffing around at the time
    Diet……when why is it always that you want to diet, start, abruptly stop and regret stopping….i wish i didn’t stop taking care of what i eat, for sure, what goes in, is what makes you on the out

    • Aslo ! I agree , meditation and yoga is so wonderful . I do it everyday and find it so peaceful ,soothing and grounding . I eat healthy and try my best to take care of me ! I also found another soothing interesting “hobby” how bout crystals and stones . I love the meanings and holding and looking at the stones . You have a great day and I hope yyou are back to yoga and meditation . Namasta .

      • ya opal i have started back hoping to not stop it again. as it is good for mind and body. also it will help to reach to your goal. thanks for reply. have a great day to you too. namste.

  15. Stop caring about other people, think about yourself 1st..

    Pack your bags, go travel, explore the world…Then pursue your studies

  16. I would have advised myself the following. Some of them are still relevant today 
    1. Stop cribbing and complaining about the situation. Think what can be done and take action. Though action was taken it was taken with no thought of if this is in synch with my purpose. Though this has given new experience and insight into myself and driven me to chase the question of my true purpose. I wish I had taken this step of introspection 3 years back
    2. Do not take on activities just to keep peace around or keep others happy. Do what you can only and what you feel like only. In the end this results in a better you which is actually better for people around you also as a frustrated you will only worsen the situation
    3. Don’t worry about future too much. Make plans for a rainy day then just relax and enjoy today
    4. Try to be non-judgmental and reduce your expectations of others
    5. Do what you can and do not get into frustration with the expectation of what others should have done
    6. Stop blaming situation and others for your current state. Have the awareness that your current state is a result of your thoughts and action
    7. Stop being lazy and take action every day in the right direction
    8. Learn to be calm/less emotional irrespective of the situation and surroundings.
    9. Take care of yourself first before caring for others.
    10. Learn to seek and interact with people who are positive and moving forward in personal growth and avoid negative vampires
    11. Stop worrying/protecting near and dear ones for their mistakes and issues. It is for them to handle and part of their life’s learning process.

  17. I see 3 years as a bit short time, because by then I was already pretty conscious about the direction my life is taking, so I’ll be advicing the 5 years younger me.

    In life:
    1. You have unlimited power. Use it wisely. Be careful what you wish for!
    2. Know your deepest desires and accept them. Else they will come out in rebellious form again and again. You don’t want that, do you?
    3. Situations tend to repeat themselves. Be sure you learn your lesson the first time it appears, so there’s no need to go through tough times again.

    In profession:
    1. Perfection and top grades are not worth spoiled relationships. Do the best you can, but it should never leave a devastating effect on your people network. It will be the course mates you’ll most likely work for at the beginning of your career and not the teachers. So if you end up with top grades, labelled as “tallented” and still don’t get invited to the projects – something has clearly gone wrong. Value relationships over everything else and you will have a lot of fun working. (On a note here – I did spoil quite a lot of possible collaborations in first years, but luckily I also managed to build a few strong friendships, which later felt like I’m being given a second chance).
    2. Attitude beats talent. Really. Right attitude is not perfection. Right attitude is doing ones best, while sticking to the schedule and budget and keeping team spirit up.
    3. In lighting: the more freedom you wish to give to the actors while still having a good image, the softer light you have to use. Get drama with higher contrast and leave hard light only for those few perfectionist directors, who wish to do a modern film-noir.
    4. In colour grading: always ask – what is the minimal adjustment I need to make to get the effect I wish?
    5. If you don’t want to accept the rules of others, be brave and make your own project.

    In relationships:
    1. If there are warning signs, they are there for good reason.
    2. If you don’t stand up for yourself because of the fear, that it might end relationships, you have lost them already. They will most likely end anyway – just you will be the one to leave and it will take so much more time and emotions.
    3. You are the one who teaches other people how to treat you.
    4. Know what the emotional affair is. It is not just close opposite sex friendship as you thought. There’s much more to it. Be careful, draw your lines and never cross them.

  18. 3 years ago I would advise myself:

    start
    – saving
    – dieting
    – exercising

    continue
    – being very positive
    – working hard
    – being that caring person
    – spending time with family members and friends
    – ambitious
    – your hobbies (travelling, teaching, reading, sewing)

    stop
    – comparing yourself with others
    – thinking what people would say behind your back
    – watching too much TV

  19. A. Sendijja 14 years ago

    Just over ten years a go, i embarked on a journey of self discovery, or call it self help. I am not going to talk about all the ten years since this challenge is about 3 years. One thing i came to realize is that time and tide waits for no man. Life is lived by every minute of our breathing moment, such that what i do now will pretty
    much determine where i will be tomorrow. There are some personal goals i set for my self the past 3 years
    and though not all of them have been reached, i am proud to say that i am on track. When i look at some those
    goals which i am yet to reach, i note one important thing which i have not been applying towards achieving them
    over the 3 years course. I have noted that i have not been giving a consistent and total focus towards the steps i put aside to realize these goals. There could be many reasons for this, but one thing i know for sure is that i prioritized these goals very low. That meaning that since they were down below my to do all to achieve list, i never really put in focused work leadind to their achievement. Now these are important goals to me, and realizing them will have a great effect on the way i live my life years to come. But i took them not to be urgent enough to require my total focus. So i came to learn that whatever goal i set for myself requires that sense of urgency and importance or else i wouldn’t have put it on my list. Because now after 3 years, i come to a point
    where that neglected goal could be of use to me but since i did not put in enough required work,i am nowhere
    closer to even achieving it. Looking back over these 3 years, the advise i would give myself is that when setting any future goal in my life, after knowing,what,why,when and how to achieve it, i must implement or work
    my plan religiously,like solving a puzzle block to block. And that i should put in that sense of urgency. I should say to myself more often that the only time i have is now so that i don’t have to look back 3 years and think oh boy i should have done this or that. I had the plan in place but due to lack of urgency i could reluctantly go several days without doing a single thing towards achieving that goal. I am glad to tell you that the personal goal i have been talking about was to loose weight along my waistline and to be honest, i wanted a six pack. Well, even before this challenge question appeared, i had already realized that i needed to get back on track and as of today,i am happy to tell you that my six packs are visibly counted.

  20. Three years ago in my history of life, I would have been 25 years old and just finished my degree. Even though those were the hard times due to the recession that rolls all over the world, I was able to put myself in a good job, went to abroad and started spending my days with happiness all along more than I imagine I can.
    I would tell myself then,
    These are also the best part of my life, since everything falls for some reason.
    I would enjoy my moments as like I am newly born
    I would focus on things what I really deserve, Even If I didn’t get it, I will never worry and just move on.
    I would ask myself to help the poor people and visit some aged homes, So that I could feel good than ever.

  21. Two words; Self Love. It makes all the difference.

  22. Three years ago I was a first year in UNiversity and I would have told my self to stop looking down upon my self, to value my self, create good relations with my family and to dream big. Luckily enough I still fell on track and now am doing beyond my prior imaginations.

  23. Three years ago I was happy and active.

    There were problems in my life because no one is ever problem-freel But I was happy, my problems were manageable, and life was good.

    I became run down physically, and withdrew from many activities. Everything became a burden. There was good reason for that, which I won’t go into.

    Looking back, I would now advise myself to do certain things differently.
    Specifically, I would tell myself to be careful about what I eat and to get some exercise every day.

    And don’t withdraw from my friends even if I don’t feel up for a lot of the activities I used to do.

    My life became narrow and had fewer sources of joy. I have begun to restore what I let go of, and I want to protect that goodness in my life in the future.

    I know a lot about health care and about mental health. I provide support, counseling, and information to others. But I didn’t use what I know to help myself at that time.

    My best overall advice to myself of three years ago is to “Use what you know!” I knew then that eating properly would help protect my health, exercise would make me feel better mentally ad physically, and that being with my friends would buoy me up when I would otherwise feel down. But I didn’t act on it.

    That is also my best advice to myself now. Learn from what happens, let it go, and use the knowledge you’ve gained. Use what you know!

    Another thing I’ve learned, looking back, is about taking on too much. I’ve always had a tendency to overextend myself, but I used to be able to keep up. Now that I’m in my 50’s my capacity is less than it was. I still think I can do as much as I used to, and I can’t. I would tell myself to recognize that, as it would make my life and my problems more manageable if I recognized what my capacity is and what my limits are.

    One of my friends used to have a limit of one activity per day. If she had a doctor’s appointment, she couldn’t shop for groceries or meet me for coffee. She knew her limits. I didn’t. I’d push myself till I dropped. That was not good for me.

    Those two pieces of advice need to be rolled up with this last, maybe most important, advice: Take care of yourself.

    Three years ago, I was doing a lot of caretaking — elsewhere I’ve mentioned a sick husband and an adult son with problems — and I didn’t remember to take care of myself. I didn’t consider my own limits and needs. I didn’t use what I knew about taking care of myself.

    This is particularly unsettling to think about because I used to do a training at the social service agency where I worked. It was about taking care of yourself so you can take care of others. I knew all this stuff about self care, and I didn’t use what I knew!

    There were many good things in my life then, as there are now, but there were some hard things that I could have avoided if I’d followed this advice.

    So my advice to myself three years ago is:

    Use what you know.
    Recognize your limits.
    Take care of yourself.

    And that advice is both a suggestion for doing things different, and recognition of what I did well, because there were many times when I did use what I knew, recognized or set limits, and took care of myself.

    I’ve learned that more of that would have been better.

    • This is neat, really vivid. I can relate to refusing to do things I know are good for me! I think there’s still a bit of the rebellious schoolkid in all of us, whose instinct is to do precisely the opposite of what we’re told, even if WE’RE the ones who are doing the telling. Anyway thank you for sharing this.

  24. Dear 23-year old me,

    study harder, get that good grades because it’s not that hard and apply for master’s degree abroad, you can do it, and there’s nothing to loose if you try!
    Don’t jump into relationship just because he is a good guy . if there’s no chemistry, there’s not gonna be any later either.
    Forgive your distant friends and accept that’s just who She is.

    Quit smoking while you still smoke only once a week.

    Otherwise, you are so cool and stay that way :mrgreen:

  25. Day 4 – If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?”

    1. Learn as much as you can
    2. Prepare for tomorrow
    3. Be more specific
    4. Express yourself as clearly as possible
    5. Build up you mental, physical and spiritual strength everyday and maintain it
    6. Note down every good thing you learn and adapt it to your lifestyle
    7. Write, talk, discuss with people who are intelligent motivated
    8. Get a mentor in every field you are interested in
    9. Live in the moment but plan for the future
    10. Visualise and live your ideal life step by step
    11. Influence is extremely important surround yourself with good and great people, books, movies, environment
    12. Become fluent in finance
    13. Invest your time wisely
    14. Make the best of every situation use your will to turn something negative into something good
    15.Think carefully you are the result of your own personal philosophy – the more you change your mindset towards what you want the easier it will be to arrive where you want to be

    Good exercise, now I have thought of the past and present I am thinking of the future.

    • I have thought of a few more:

      16. Be brief
      17. Go for your big rocks first
      18. Inspire, motivate, touch people
      19. Don’t wait for inspiration start now
      20. Show how much you care in your actions, thoughts and deeds
      21. Find ways to contribute
      22. Find ways to fulfill people
      23. Plan your life until you die
      24. See life through others eyes
      25. Appreciate what you have now
      26. Hone every skill you have and add more
      27. Think before you speak and act
      28. Talk positively to yourself all the time
      29. Act as if you have what you already want
      30. Love and believe in yourself

      My mind is in effervescence, I am noting these down, I am sure I will think of many more. Thanks Celes for you inspiration :D

      • Brilliant – really inspirational. Thanks very much indeed!

  26. Three years ago, I was 21, almost 22. I was in my fourth year of college, which in many ways was a pivotal year for me. Within the academic year, I studied abroad in Rome for a semester, spent a quarter on the central coast of California at my university, and a quarter in San Francisco for another study abroad program. I majored in architecture, but sometime around the beginning of this year, I began to seriously doubt my career choice. I realized that the vague, romantic vision I had started with freshman year didn’t include sitting in front of a computer in an office all day. I have always been a person with expansive visions- I’ve always felt a need to apply myself to something really important to the human experience.

    But I began to wonder: was the field of architecture a fertile field for me to build and explore dreams? With the passing of time, the answer resounded with increasing clarity: no. I’d finish the degree, because I honestly felt that I was receiving a well-rounded education with its foundations in systems-thinking, which I felt was essential to any path I might pursue. Plus, I wanted to go to Rome for the food and produce markets and San Francisco for the urban agriculture scene. At this time, burgeoning interests began to pull me in a different direction, even farther away from my original career path: these interests were food and food systems.

    My family and friends, especially my dad, disapproved, doubting the clarity of my judgment about how to direct my own life. I didn’t let that alter my course- I never let anyone alter my course when I know something is or isn’t right. But if I could go back and tell myself something, I would say: Don’t doubt yourself, listen to your senses, your gut, your intuition. Listen to yourself. Only you know what is right for you.

    Around this time, I really became aware of the effects of having neglected my own physicality. My body was a knotted-up mess from years of competitive running and hours upon hours of sitting studiously. I had been practicing yoga for a year or two at this point, and as I worked through layers of tension and anxiety created from excess mental activity, I discovered just how much I had neglected my body. I began to look around and realize that most of us are powering through pain in order to execute some equation that we or someone else wrote for us. I became aware of mine and others’ tendency to ignore the messages that our bodies and spirits send us.

    I discovered the grassroots movement toward sustainable and traditional agriculture and nutrition. I saw this as another realm in which people deny their own physicality, their own inseparability from the Earth, from the universe. I found in gardening and cooking another form of active meditation, another way to connect with the physical-energetic miracle of life.

    We are taught to believe that everything is made up of parts: these parts exhibit relationships, but they are separate from each other. The truth has become electrically clear and real to me at present: EVERYTHING is ONE. I mean, EVERYTHING.

    Here in the present moment, I am still uncovering layers self-doubt, places where I am defeating myself. It has taken me this long to really understand that my intuitions are trustworthy. Feelings and intuitions are not imaginings of our minds, they are energetic realities that come from somewhere, either from ourselves and our own fears and blockages, from others, or sometimes from the divine, from the great clock in the sky. For the whole universe is an energetic web- nothing is apart from anything else. When we deny or neglect our interconnectedness to all life, we hurt only ourselves. In this way, we limit and defeat our own true natures.

    That girl three years ago could feel these truths, although I’m sure she couldn’t have articulated them with such conviction. She was bogged down by fears and judgments and misunderstandings, and so she doubted herself. The path toward self-liberation continues today. So, my message for myself today is the same as for the girl of three years past: Stay present, trust, and listen. Listen to others, but if the voices begin to drown out your own, gently sweep them away, politely ignore them, and go your own way. It is your path to walk, and only you can know which way it must go.

  27. Three years ago I was 21, working on becoming a full time artist, gallery curator and at the end of a long term relationship.

    I doubted myself and lived every day as it came letting shyness and lack of self confidence stand in my way.

    As I look back, I see that for the past few years I was my own worst enemy.

    Now after building on my self confidence, educating myself on the areas I wasn’t confident in and getting to know the true me, I would go back and tell myself to hold my head up high and that all of the ideas that I had rolling around in my mind but was to shy to show, end up being the ideas that make me stand out as an individual.

    I was too shy to speak my mind because I was scared of being judged. If I could go back and know what I know now, I would always be the best that I could be and show the world what I can do, in a way that I feel passionate about- un altered by other peoples opinions and judgements.

  28. 3 years ago I met a guy. I finally, finally decided to let him go. Today.

    I would tell myself to give him a chance. Because I won’t realize how much I like him until he’s given up. I would tell myself to at least be friends with him because if it goes places, then it goes places. And if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. But at least I’ll know, and at least I’ll get to know him.

    I’d tell me that 3 years of what-if’s will eat me up from the inside out. Will drive me crazy. That I’ll become a better person – That I’ll grow because I really have no choice – what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? But honestly, I’d tell me that not knowing, and not trying, isn’t the way I want to go.

    I would tell myself to leave college because I hate it so much. That sticking it out isn’t the right thing to do. I shouldn’t worry about wasting those 2 years in college because honestly, that’s what they are – a waste. I’d tell me that I’ll end up wasting 2 more. I’d tell me to cut those losses now.

    I’d tell me to start taking notes because I’ve got a lot more to say.

    I’d tell me to talk to people when I make mistakes, to ask for help, and to not pretend that everything is okay. I’d tell me to tell the people I love how much they mean to me. I’d tell me that my best friend, especially, needs to know this.

    I’d tell me not to get so carried away with the gym. That it isn’t my home – that I’m telling myself it’s like my home but that it’s really my escape. I’d tell me not to make promises I can’t keep. I’d tell me that after I leave the gym for the first time, to say good bye and not go back. To find another martial art to practice.

    I’d tell me not to worry about not making friends at college. When I meet the right people, I’ll make friends – I know now because that’s what’s happening.

    I’d tell me that in my home life – the inevitable is happening. My parents are finally going to separate like I’ve been waiting for – for the last how many years? (I can’t even remember because I lost count). I’d tell me that it’s going to suck, everybody is going to cry, that I can’t be in two places at once, but that I’m going to learn how to live in two places and that it’s going to work out. It will take 2 years, but it is going to work out.

    Finally, I’d tell myself that I’m going to be so happy in 3 years. That I won’t be angry all the time, that I won’t be sad all the time, that I’ll come out of my shell at long last (still working on it, but it’s happening!), that I’ll have real friendships with really wonderful people, that I’ll go out into the world and learn so many new skills – that my world will become so much more than college and the gym, that my parents both end up happier, that I’ll actually look forward to coming home at night, that my sister figures out what she wants to do and she’s so amazing at it.

    I’d tell myself I still haven’t found anyone ‘special’ but that I’m meeting so many new and amazing people that it’s bound to happen sooner or later.

    I’d tell myself that by my 23rd birthday, I’ve become ambitious beyond belief. I’d tell me that I’d hardly recognize myself. That I have plans to travel. That I cut my long hair off. That I’m making my family proud. That I *gasp* go out without make up. That I’m doing the things that I want – and that even when my family initially disagrees, that they’ll come around when I start to make extraordinary things happen. They are going to be there when I run my first 10k in October of that 3rd year. I’d tell me that I run 10k.

    I’d tell me that for 2 years everything will keep falling apart. That by the 3rd year, I begin to pull pieces together. That by the end of that 3rd year, I’ve almost healed and that I’ve started making extraordinary things happen with no intention of stopping.

    I’d tell me that if I can’t avoid any of these unpleasant things that I still turn out alright in the end.

    Then I’d smile and wink at myself.

  29. 3 years ago, I was in the French junior national skating team – that meant we would skate for France, but train in a normal club and not together in one training centre. I was 15 and had just graduated from high school 3 years early, and I thought that everything was possible. So I went to Germany to join a better skating team – and that’s when I started to be bad at everything.

    I didn’t speak German very well, so I never got to have friends where I lived. I was afraid to speak in German, actually, because I knew I wasn’t really good, so I started spending my days in my bedroom, in front of my computer, watching TV shows and talking to my French friends on Facebook.
    I also started distance learning (to study in French, because German was really to hard to study economics or any other subject) in a subject that I didn’t like, so I never opened my books and miserably failed my first semester – I finally passed thanks to my history grade, A+ (I love history, so I would work for hours on it, but never read the other courses).

    Then I came back home in March (6 months later), I skated much slower than I used to, had taken on 7kgs, and was incapable of concentrating on lessons for more than five minutes. So I worked a lot to make it better.. until August, when I was promoted to the elite national team. My parents and I thought, “this is great” and saw the good conditions of life there ; it was a French institute where I’d train 30 hours a week, we’d live all together and have controlled meals and activities, I’d have a tutor…

    All this was advertising, actually. When I came in August, I loved everything – especially the people of the training centre, that gathered many different sports. I made very good friends, I had my first (and last) boyfriend… then I hurt myself in training, in September. So I worked a lot on how to get better, stretching more than an hour a day, working out on everything that wouldn’t hurt me more.. I came back on the ice on the 15th of December, came 4th at the European Championships the 2nd of January, while a girl in my team won. That’s when everyone started hating me – I had beaten the first girl’s sister, even without on-ice training for four months and after 15 days of training.

    Life became kind of a living hell for me, because the others wouldn’t miss a chance to pick on me, but (thankfully ?) it didn’t last for long : at the beginning of February, I hurt myself again (2 weeks before the World Championships), and was told I couldn’t skate for at least two months. The atmosphere was really tense in our training centre, some of my “co-trainers” would even come at me and say “hey, you never train on ice, you’re not a speed skater, who the hell are you, just go home because you have nothing to do here” and stuff like that.

    So I went to my trainer and told her (she’s a really nice, sensible person, I knew I could always rely on her – at least, when I was right, because she’s also very impartial !) that I wanted to stop skating. She agreed and told me I should get a break of two or three years, or train somewhere else where I’d be more appreciated, so a month later, I was breaking up with my boyfriend and coming back home. And that felt like the worst failure ever. During that month I hadn’t even dared to come out of my bedroom (or of the little corner of the gardens where my friends and I were always spending our time between their classes), because my cotrainers would follow me everywhere, leave rude comments on my blog and on my Facebook – I changed the security settings for both, now I don’t have problems anymore because when I opened my Facebook again, I had left for a long time already, I think they forgot me.

    This year, I chose to redo a second year of university to change my subjects and stop distance learning – I have an average of B- now instead of the C- I got with distance learning, and more importantly, I like what I do.

    So, if I were to travel back in time to 3 years ago, I would stop skating immediately. At the time, I was already the French Junior Champion and told that I was on the Olympics selection list, so it was already an achievement in itself. I would have traveled to Germany for holiday, and GOTTEN OUT, without my computer ! I would have forced myself to talk with people and make friends instead of staying in my room because I was afraid to be ridiculous. And I would eat healthily too, instead of putting on all that weight, because that was really hard to lose after coming back home ! Then, I’d also do some Translation studies just after graduating instead of losing two years in Economics and hating it with all of my heart..
    Oh, I forgot – after being over with skating, I wouldn’t hide all my skating posters and postcards and suppress all my skating Facebook friends and phone contacts and put all my medals and cups in a box, to take half out after 6 months. I would tell myself, “this is my choice and I do not have regrets”, instead of hiding it.

    That’s the choice that, according to me, would make my life better.

  30. Three years ago I was 27 years old. It was a crazy time: traveling all over Japan soaked in alcohol, becoming alarmingly frustrated with my job, getting tangled up in an ultimately pointless love affair and traveling to Korea to meet his parents, roaming around the playground of Tokyo, and staring at the abandoned balcony opposite my bedroom window talking to the stray cats because there was no one in real life I wanted to talk to quite as much. I wouldn’t have changed any of it! But if I could go back and whisper some advice/prophecies, they would include:
    – True, his arms are a gift straight from Heaven, proof that God is a loving craftsman who creates muscles of beauty and steel, BUT, that is no reason to go back to them not once but TWICE. Sure, do it. Get it out of your system. BUT THERE ARE MORE TO RELATIONSHIPS THAN CHISELED ARMS. Note to self in future relationships/flings.
    – Feed the cats instead of just talking to them. Never mind that the neighbors threatened to call the police over this. Feed them, they’re hungry!
    – Stop stressing about the job. You will land the best job ever in only six months. Until then: cultivate contacts. Network, betch.
    – As for the alcohol: switch from beer to sho-chu. Healthier.
    – Tokyo will always be your playground. Those epic day-long urban hikes you take once a month to cradle your sanity and test whether you can still feel? Do them every week! Don’t wait till the Fear sinks its scales into your heart and TWISTS! In other words: prevention, not treatment.

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