This is Day 4 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 4 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “What is your ideal diet like?“. It was interesting reading your responses. Many of you seem to be in tune with what’s best for your body, which is great! Many of you stressed on a diet that’s filled in nutrition and void of empty calories since the latter does not benefit our body. Many of you are committed to removing unhealthy, junk food from your diet; At the same, a diet with high fruits and vegetables is a common vision across the board.
Ultimately all of us are different and have different needs, so go for the diet that you feel best about. There’s no need to feel compelled on a certain diet just because of what your parents, society, health magazines, or TV say.
If you eat something only to feel bad about it afterward, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, then it’s a cue that it’s probably not the ideal for you. This includes eating junk food on the spur of the moment, then beating yourself up over it or feeling “guilty” about it after that.
While you can argue that it’s a “treat” and you “deserve” it, the point is you yourself already acknowledge the food is bad and feel bad about eating it afterward. This in itself suggests a misalignment in your wants/needs that needs to be worked through, vs. allowing the conflicting behavior to perpetuate.
Either you have a candy bar because you *truly* feel it’s the best thing for your body, or you don’t have that. You can’t be thinking “this candy bar isn’t good” and still have that in your ideal diet. That doesn’t make any sense at all; it’s a contradiction in itself. Ideal means something that’s the highest of it all; something you acknowledge to be the best of the best for yourself.
In the end, your ideal diet should be one which you feel 110% emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually both in the short-run and in the long-run – nothing less than that. By having a clear idea of what your ideal diet is, it brings awareness to what you want to feed your body with. This makes it easier for you to achieve this goal in the long run.
While I have a vision of what my ideal diet is, I’m far from it at the moment – there are times when I go off track with my diet due to emotional eating, lack of my desired food, or circumstances. But the important thing is I always work on getting back on track. Being on your ideal diet may not happen overnight, but the important thing is you move closer towards it, and work on integrating it into your lifestyle, day by day. In time, you realize you are exactly where you want to be.
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question! ;)
21DJC Day 4
Today’s question is a fun one – one which involves some imagination and thinking outside of our current framework of time:
If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?
How old would you be 3 years ago? What was happening at that time? What would you say to yourself? And why?
(Today’s question can be found in #21 of 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life.)
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Time travel))
If i have to travel back in time to 3 years ago, I would first advice myself to start writing in Personal Excellence. This is because i am feeling different now after reading everyones opinion. On the very first day of starting of this Challenge when first question came “What Would You Do If You Have 1 Million Dollars?” then i thought i will buy my dream car and lot of accessories( because i love accessories). But by the end of the day i realized that i don’t need my dream car else i have so many others things to do, like establish myself. Help everyone in need especially animals, because most of the people don’t think of them.
This will give you happiness you will never get by luxries.
Secondly i would say don’t loose yourself for anyone because if you changed yourself according to somebody else then he or she will definitely going to leave you. So i would try to be myself.
At last i would advice myself to do regular excercise because i need to be much stronger than what i am now.
a. Focus on areas that are really important to my life
b. Plan and take action every day
c. Continous learning in my field
3 years ago I was 20. I was in my degree. I had picked myself up after a down turn; of course, with others support in my life and as I was somewhere near the end of my studies in that college, I was very active, grabbing most of the opportunities by participating in inter college fests, inter class competitions and had won a couple of prizes. It was an amazing come back and I still wonder how I managed to do all those.. by the time I left that place I was practical, hopeful, willing to achieve further and had moved on. That was indeed good time I lived.
There was nothing bad in it. May be I just had to make some corrections to myself here and there. So travel back in time just to three years ago would not be of much help in my case. I either have to travel much back or if I can go back only to 3 yrs ago in my life I can only suggest myself to continue with the same spirit, optimism going forward and never regret about anything that happened or didn’t happen.
Well I learnt this from today’s task, if we are in the same bad mood we were in three years ago we can give ourselves some suggestion even today. If we had lived our great time then, but now are facing recession, let us fetch for our own good, the frame of mind we had earlier that which is missing in our present… we can travel to our past; should live our present.
I would tell myself that balance and moderation are the keys to a happy life. I would let me know that looking for a life partner is as important as a great career. I would say to never work myself to the point of exhaustion. I would meet people at the level of enthusiasm that they met me. I would tell me to take care of me-to laugh and play and love more. Above all, I would tell me that relationships are the most important things in life.
A lot has changed in these last three years. I don’t think my advice would have helped me three years ago, since everything I have learned could only be learned with time as events unfolded. If I had known at the time what was to come though, I would say:
a) Always trust in yourself and your dreams, and trust in your ability as an artist
b) Learn to say ‘no’ instead of always agreeing to things you don’t want to do, especially in regards to work
c) Stand up for yourself and your soon-to-be husband
d) Stop trying to mend the relationship with your mother – she will try her best to make things a lot worse for you in the next three years and if you don’t stop it now, you will spend the next three years in tears
e) Don’t blame yourself for the mistakes of others in your life
f) Start saving for a rainy day – you will need it!
I was a sophomore in college. Oh man.
-Get off of the internet.
-Work harder on your writing and in English class.
-Edit more videos
-Quit band and focus on living a college lifestyle.
-Gain a babysitting job or a part-time job because your bank account will be depleted when you go to live in Egypt for two months.
-Don’t be so intimidating to guys. Maybe drop a line saying you would be interested in dating…
-Avoid hanging onto any emotions other than love. You will get confused and have to have some VERY awkward conversations with a guy that had no idea he is was in your head.
-Actually practice Spanish or Arabic. Sign up for the class offered.
-Your skin hates dairy and sugar. Avoid them more to lessen breakouts.
The only thing that i want to tell myself is that time is precious. Don’t ever let myself be blinded by anger, cause I’ll miss those wonderful moments that might happen in my life.
This is easy for me. Three years ago my sister’s marriage blew apart: domestic violence, excessive drinking, depression, a nightmare. I tried to help, did everything I thought was right, helpful, useful. I moved her out, I found her two different counsellors, I took her to a doctor, I took her to the hospital for x-rays. I rented her a small house for three months.
She was depressed and the depression got worse. She refused the doctor’s treatment, she told us that the counsellors were fools.She refused antidepressants. She began binge drinking. She returned to her husband and left him and returned again, and left him again. She lived alone for about six months, but refused to look for work, or do anything to help herself.
She is now living with him again, they recently moved to Canada’s westcoast. I don’t hear from her much because she thinks I will disapprove of her decision. The truth is I don’t care what she does, I just wish she was happy. I am fairly sure she isn’t.
What I wished I had known three years ago is this: you cannot rescue others, they must rescue themselves. You can be a listening post and let them talk through their problems, but even that has to stop at some point. We are all responsible for our own decisions and the ramifications of those decisions.
I would tell myself this, “this problem is not yours to ‘fix’. Listen with empathy and compassion, and do what you can, within reason. What happens after that is her decision. You must live your own life. You cannot live hers.
I feel for ya. I still have a hard time standing back and letting my brothers fix their own problems.
That is a hard lesson to learn, especially when it someone we love and care for. I spent alot of time fighting the “good fight” and trying to rescue someone once too. It takes alot to accept that you are powerless to change it for them and just be there instead. You should be proud of what you know and have learned now. You have done the right thing!! Letting go is not the same as giving up. :) <3
What was happening at that time?
I was constantly being unhappy with who I was. I would try to learn how to cover my real self. I would find other ways to talk. I would try to practice changing my accent because I did not like mine. Usually, whenever someone was mad at me, I would think “What is wrong with me?!” I remember crying a lot once because a cousin was mad at me when I had no idea what ‘bad’ thing I did. But these are just actions because of my limiting belief that “I am what other people think”. I don’t think I used to value other people’s advices though, but I would care about what others thought of me to be. I still have that limiting belief though, but I do not value this belief now. Now I am working on trying to get rid of it because I am tired of being what other people usually think of me to be.
What would you say to yourself? And why?
I would say to me, “You are not what you think. You are the person who can think those thoughts but not the thoughts. Similarly you are not what others think. You don’t need to change yourself for others. Nobody’s perfect. So accept that you are less than perfect. Just because other people might think you are wrong doesn’t mean you are, you don’t even know most of the times why you are ‘wrong’. I know that you usually doubt other people’s advices but you MUST listen to me because you know that I am the future you and probably I know what is best for you. If I weren’t here, and you’re grown up like me, you will have the same ideas, so you should listen to me and avoid trying to do the same things I did. AND I AM NOT LYING; you must trust me on this one until this becomes a habit. You must believe that you will be alright even when you are being yourself, you are stronger than you think, I know you can stand up for yourself. The bottom line is, be proud to be yourself and don’t care about what others think”.
I would say that to myself because practicing not being me has become a destructive habit. I am usually worrying whether I am right. Whether what I think is right. Whether what I am doing is OK. And I would be sabotaging myself a lot because of certain things. I practiced faking that time, and now these days I am trying to stop this as it became a habit. I am tired of being something else.
How old would you be 3 years ago?
12 years old.
(By the way, I mentioned “AND I AM NOT LYING” in my answer to the second question because I have this habit of telling petty lies, although I am working on it to break the habit, and my 12 year old self knew that she did that. So, when I said all those things, my 12 year old might think ”Ohh…That Liar!”)
In the last line I mentioned “my 12 year old might think”, sorry, it was supposed to be “my 12 year old self might think”. Sorry for the mistake in typing!
If we can travel back to 3 year ago, I will advice myself that I think should have three things important for my life build my life map for my goal, I should have my goal buy write a bucket list for myself and try hard as possible to archive my goal. Think big and Dream high. Specially, I should take care my health to archive all goals, too. Besides, I should think about the people around me and take time with them and take time to show love for my family and friends that all of them are my power to archive my goal. I think that I forget to all these component that make me lost way to find my success and professional life. Leny
Maybe it’s a fault, but I don’t have too much advice to give to myself 3 years back. My son was born almost three years ago, which was huge. I’ve put all my at-the-margin time and energy (and then some) into him. My career hasn’t changed much. My health is better.
I haven’t been perfect in that time, but I’m happy with how I’ve acted. I haven’t progressed a lot per se in an outwardly visible manner, but I’ve become more of a well-oiled machine in my processes and internal systems (through GTD, which I took up 5 years ago and continue to refine in my life). Some small advice:
Hold firmer on some childrearing convictions. I’ve regretted when I’ve compromised, bad as that sounds.
Do more media.
Make more friends who pull me in the right directions; the right reference group makes a huge difference.
Move more quickly in life. Don’t perfect minutiae. Stay on a fast, bold, wavelength — you’ll perform best and life comes together for you quickly and powerfully when you approach it like that.
But these are minor tuning items. I can honestly say I’ve done well; managed my priorities and been there for people who’ve needed me. I’ve managed my life well and become a better person.
How old would you be 3 years ago? Currently I am 16 years old. 3 years ago I was 13 years old.
What was happening at that time? I was in my 8th grade and had just transferred to a new school once again. (I’ve exchanged schools many times.)Of what I remember, around that time, I was a very lonely and hateful person. I had just met up with a close childhood friend from a past school again. She was very happy and eager to hang out with me but I had this habit to ignore her as I thought she was bullying me. On my past school, in 7th grade, I had been bullied for an entire year and this influenced me on believing everybody was a bully. I was also hanging out with a boy each day but never noticed he liked me till 2 years later. Heck, he even told me he confessed once but I didn’t understood at all. I was innocent and blind to love related situations back then.
What would you say to yourself?
a)Have fun 110% with your childhood friend and her mutual friends while you are all still at the same classroom. 3 years later you will all break up into different schools and regret not having fun back then when the friendships slowly vanish in high school, except with the childhood friend.
b)Don’t hang out with that boy. One day you will realize he wasn’t a real friend and you could had spent that time with your real friends.
c)Not everybody is the same as those bullies. Open up and move on.
d)Write your novel. Stop planning and just write it. You’ve got the talent.
e)Make your own decisions, don’t be influenced by your extra-negative elder sibling.
*Simply have fun. You are still young and free. This days won’t ever come back.*
And why?I used to be very closed minded because I was afraid to be hurt and missed out on many experiences from my childhood. I didn’t have fun on my childhood and I regret it so I’m having fun as a child now. I’m still just 16 so I’ve got time.
If I could tell some advice to myself 5 years ago, I would tell the younger me to read more books, learn self-development and need to have true ambitions.
I would tell myself life is so short, don’t waste any second living the life I don’t want and don’t be afraid of failure.
Finally, the last thing: be confident in my ability. All the best achievements I have accomplished so far come that confidence.
Three years ago I would be 19 years old. I was just working and trying to decide what career i wanted. I was also in the middle of a deep depression.
I would tell myself that everything, all the issues I was dealing with ,and all the people that helped hurt me didn’t matter. That it was the past and that I should move on and decide how I should to live amd that things always happen how you want it if your willing to devote time and effort to it.
I would be 37 years old then. 3 years ago I was separated from my husband, doing a new job that turned out to be hell, living with my parents with my two children, of which my daughter was in her first year of school and my son was pre-school.
This was preceded by a time of marital upheaval, doing jobs that were not too stressful and gave me lots of free time, living in my own home and having my lovely babies.
At the 3 year ago mark I told myself that I’ll show my children that your dreams may scatter in a hundred pieces, but you can still make a success of life. Emotionally and spiritually, however, I was totally drained. My parents made many negative comments when, over a weekend I would flop down and try to rest as I was sooooo tired from working all hours and having to deal with severe backstabbing and bitchiness at work. They wanted me to spend more time with the kiddies although I knew they were save with my parents outside in the garden and I just couldn’t move my body out. All I could see was the bed.
What would I tell myself? Firstly, “Girl, you just rest as much as you need, this too will pass.” I’d suggest trying to drink more water even if it’s not possible to stop the comfort eating – especially at a time like that. Also, “Girl, you just stick it out, you’re doing great!”
Actually, I can see other advice would’ve fallen on deaf ears as I was just soooooooo fed-up.
Wow, I didn’t realise that, although I thought I made such a mess of things, that I actually did very well!!! Now, with my husband and children back in our own little rented, in a different province and an even more stressful job, I am actually starting to want to stop eating comfort food, I am drinking lots more water and eating much more healthily during the day. I’m sitting here very early at home, JOURNALLING!!, with my work stuff around me, doing some work before going to work while the kids are sleeping.
Life is so much better AND I couldn’t’ve done it any other way than the way I did then. The only other advice I would give myself for then would be to pray. I wasn’t able to do that then.
To really make a difference in my life, I would need to travel back in time 4 years, not 3. It was 4 years ago that I was applying to graduate school and I would travel back and tell myself not to apply to the school I’m attending.
I have a circadian rhythm disorder and 4 years ago I was still in denial about it. It was getting worse and it was getting more and more difficult for me to make it to class every day. But I just kept pushing through and telling myself that it was no big deal and that I could work around it.
Now I am at the point in my studies where I’m supposed to teach classes and I just can’t do it. My condition has deteriorated so much that it wouldn’t be fair to the students to try to teach a class, knowing that I have not been able to make it to all my classes for several years now. It is one thing to compromise my own education by cutting class but I will not compromise someone else’s education. I know how I get; I’ve spent entire class sessions present but not there, falling into repeated microsleeps because my body is so exhausted.
I could teach an asynchronous online class, but my university does not offer that option. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to apply to graduate school at an online university that would help me to become an online professor. Now I am in a time of transition, realizing that I took the wrong road and the financial aid is all gone and I will have to choose a new dream to follow. I even feel I have found that dream and I am working toward making it a reality. But if I could go back in time and explain everything clearly and convincingly to myself, I would already be 3 or 4 years down the road to my new dream now, instead of changing gears.
Still, I think maybe it’s a good thing I can’t go back in time to change things because even though it’s been an expensive and difficult lesson, I might never have known what my limits are with this illness if I didn’t push myself hard up against them. So even though I’m coming away from it without the degree I had hoped for and without the career I was working toward, I still learned so much about the world and about myself and those lessons can only serve me well in the future as I go about shaping a new life for myself — a life that accepts the physical limitations that can come with living in a human body but still seeks to reach beyond the disability to fully foster the strong abilities I do have. I am walking into a life that acknowledges weakness but does not bow under its weight. Rather, I am walking into a life that focuses on strength, nurturing and bringing opportunity to my areas of skill and power until even my weaknesses seem like strengths as well. Strenghts, because they have helped to bring me to this new flowering renaissance in my life.
I think I was a stupid, immature person three years ago who didn’t really study hard on anything and was way too competitive. I wish I could change many things and become a nicer person overall, study harder, and become a role model to at least someone. I tutored a girl and I wish I pushed her harder (but she ended up failing anyways).
BUT, that was all three years ago. I will make sure to myself that I try harder today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life. Hopefully, I won’t have to deal with any unnecessary melodramatic events.
My goal is to stay happy, and hopefully, that’s what I’ll remember three years from now.
Three years ago I was 22, fresh out of college with great scores and waiting for the joining date of a fab job from campus placements. Unfortunately recession struck- my joining date was postponed indefinitely, my grandmother fell sick, the holiday my parents had promised for my graduation got cancelled and suddenly life looked very bleak indeed.
What was worst was that I lost my positivity- I am normally a very optimistic and sunny person by nature. thanks to my mother’s guidance and advice, I did get back on my feet, but only after two months of self-inflicted misery and despair. So if I were to turn the clock back now, I would advice myself to have more faith in myself and God, and to NEVER lose hope.
I am grateful to mom for bringing things back into perspective and renewing my faith that there is a higher power who watches over us and helps us in our darkest hour. I did get my job with added travel privileges ( almost a paid holiday! ;) ) granny got better, i made fab new friends and experiences in several new cities and eventually met my husband. So undoubtedly, it was a learning experience- baptism by fire, so to speak. but yes, if I could go back 3 years, I would teach myself to hang on and keep trying, even things don’t go according to plan. (this begs the interesting question that we always seem to pray when things go wrong, but we rarely give thanks for all the good things we receive!) also remind myself to pray and believe that if God doesn’t give you what you want, it just means He is preparing you for something even better! :-)
Ahhh, hindsight.
I would have been 53 years, 3 years ago. I was going to college after not working for 20 years due to poor health.
When I got my job, I would have told myself not to try so hard to make friends with everyone, that I had the ability to do my job well.
I would definitely have told myself not to sweat the small stuff, that things WERE going to work out just fine.
Don’t take what others have said or done too personally or seriously, it’s not me, but them.
Get needed help sooner rather than later. Enjoy the little things.
Follow your heart and love truly and deeply only towards the person you truly love.
Your heart already know what you want.
When you have achieved something, keep moving to the next goal. Don’t be complacent / stand still..
Listen to your mum’s advice.
Three years ago I was in a really bad relationship so I would have advised myself to get out. It would have been better if I left earlier and it would have been nice to understand then that I can’t change someone unless they actually want to change. I can’t fix everything and everyone. I know that now, but it would have been nice to know back then.
Three years ago I was eighteen (has it been that long?!). The advice I would give to myself would be to be true to myself. I spent a lot of time at that age trying to fit in with what I thought the world around me expected. I passed up several opportunities that would have been more inline with my true nature, to try to be a cool, hip student or whatever. I don’t regret the decisions I made because I gained very important insights and lessons from them, and they are part of the reason I became so sure of my goals and purposes today. But I could have saved myself a lot of angst and money if I had been more true to my own self.
Totally agree with you- 18 is such a difficult age and somehow the years race away after that. Not a child, but not fully grown up either. For me, I had not discovered myself fully and was forever trying into other people’s opinion of how I should be…. Satisfaction came only when I learnt to be true to myself.
Make time for myself because the time ticks so fast. Before I do something for others, ask myself first for 8 times “What’s in it for me?” …nothing means “Don’t do it”. Each one of us had received wisdome, talents and skills by God. What I had been noticing, others take advantage of the others’ generosity and kindness while they are saving their time, energy, and funds. Therefore, this is worthlearning and thanks to Celes and her team for being part of Personal Excellence Group. God bless.
3 years ago I was 20 years old and about to embark on the most difficult year of my life. I had just came back to Canada from exchange in the Czech Republic. When I returned home, I felt like a different person, but everyone around me was exactly the same. I needed guidance, a mentor/role model and some life direction. Over that year I made some poor decisions and really lost sight of who I was and what I wanted from life.
The advice I would give my 20 year old self is to find someone to look to as a role model – either a blogger, a celebrity, a teacher, an inspirational speaker, someone, anyone.
The next thing would be to find a physical hobby. Playing a sport, running, kickboxing, something that makes me internally stronger.
The last thing would be to save money for a rainy day as many of them were to come. And to stop buying material items (makeup, clothing, electronics) to define myself.
I’m a different person today. Thanks to blogs like this one and physical activity like running.
If I travel back in time to 3 years ago, I would be 20. At that time, I was confused, insecure and frightened. I was like a kid who is lost, and doesn’t know a thing about directions.
The advice I would give myself is that I shouldn’t worry so much. Everything that is happening in my life is to make me a better person with time. I should simply learn from my experience and move on.
Absolutely Iva. I believe sometime in our lives, we feel lost, confused and frustrated about our direction in life. Perhaps its normal. I even go through that from time to time. Its usually a sign that we have lost direction or focus and need to re-evaluate course.
I believe your advise is sound. Everything is okay. Worry less and allow yourself to bloom. It only gets better from here!
All the love and friendship,
Ezz ;)
Three years ago would bring me back to 2008. Nothing much I would change except perhaps I should have started writing and blogging then. I’ve always wanted to own a website and was wondering how in the world am I going to design and arrange all the stuff that needed to be placed on the pages, etc. It was only when I came on Twitter in August 2010 that I learned how to set up a blog. I started blogging this year.
Overall, It’s been a good past 3 years. Things are moving on track.
I would pay closer attention to finishing projects more quickly while I still had a little more mobility than I do now. How come none of these questions other than the first takes any real thought. Or is that just me? Do I really know myself well enough that I don’t need to contemplate my answers? just add the preconcluded answer and post it??
If I were to travel back in time 3 years I would advise myself to:
1. Trust yourself first
2. Take help whenever and wherever you need it
3. Pay yourself first before anyone else
4. Dump unnecessary stuff and negative people regularly
5. Keep it simple stupid
Emotion is your property and not for sale.
If I traveled back in time to 3 years ago I would be 29 and still working, still driving, still eating out and in my own apartment. I didn’t have perfect health then and thought I felt poorly more often than the average person but I didn’t know how much worse things were going to get health-wise either.
I would advise myself to enjoy every moment, every freedom, every meal, every paycheck, every moment I felt “good”. And really I would advise that to everyone in any place in life. I would savor each day I lived in my own apartment. I would have noitced I could run errands or go shopping without needing to recooperating. I would have appreciated the ability to hold a job and excel at it as well…something that most people see as a burden and duty and inconvienance to their lives. So few people “like” their jobs or are thankful that they have it. Not that I blame them…3 years ago I complained about having to go to work or working long hours too. But now that I am unable to do or have so many of these basic things and freedoms, I urge the younger me and anyone else that reads this to appreciate everything they have. Every liberty, every advantage and every little thing that seems mundane and ordinary right now. It may be the thing you could miss most just a few years from now.
We never know what waits down the road for any of us and should never take anyone or anything, no matter how small, for granted.
“I urge the younger me and anyone else that reads this to appreciate everything they have. Every liberty, every advantage and every little thing that seems mundane and ordinary right now. It may be the thing you could miss most just a few years from now. ” Your words impact me. Thank you so much for sharing. I second this and it’s just how I feel. I took for granted my friends 3 years ago and now they aren’t around anymore. I miss the days we used to be close friends so much and wish we were all in the same classroom again. I’ve only got my childhood friend who kept being my friend but the others are gone and long moved on to new friends and new schools. We should all have fun at all this moments. Years later you will discover you will miss the thing you least considered important.
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